Eight inches across

Even at her most angry.

Even at her most urgent.

Even when her teeth are itching to bite the most...

Even the most complicated request.

Or a simple nod to "stand down" in the face of hostility.

Following a command, despite her personal reservation. In service of something else. Trusting that she's lending her power to good hands.

Following a command, despite her most paralyzing fears.

And later revoking that trust, because someone who blindly obeys everyone is loyal to no one. And she is so loyal, she's willing to risk her own safety and comfort; she's willing to risk her life.

When she defies an order, it's to serve another. Loyalty against violence.

A devotion so transcending, she obeys three generations of the same family.

Even when they don't ask as nicely.

Even when they don't ask anything at all. (Some things never change!)

At last. The MOST LITERAL example, of course. (In case it's all getting too subtle...)

And some compliance in reparation, an apology for almost biting. (Not that it was her fault, anyway....)

Submission before aggression, always.

granted: sometimes, not without some pouting...

Whenever you want to set it!

Pre-Curse FTL? FERTILE GROUND for the most heated, hateful, hungry, horny humping any human has ever had. Mixing up personal feelings, complicated desires and restraints, the worries of war and the yearnings of their flesh (and hearts!) Far from love-making. Love can come way wayyyy after that. A lot of coming is involved, but love is nowhere near them at this point, it's on a different reality completely—

Cursed Storybrooke? Regina enjoying the collective amnesia and the repetitive days that precede Henry's (and Emma's) arrival. Taking some sarcastic, sadistic pleasure in seducing Ruby night after night, in countless different ways, rejoicing in Ruby's fresh reaction each time. Riding the girl and the high of riding the girl, who was once Snow's ride. Oh, marvelous! Who knew a Dark Curse could be this fun? Of course, it gets boring after a while, when Ruby proves herself not to be Red (derogatory), and their mostly practical, physically-focused encounters start to lack the many layers that made their lust worth indulging.

▶ Fix the goddamn Wolf CGI.

Commit to a fucking size. Make the sound, the text and the image match. Three times bigger? Make it three times bigger. Eight inches across? Make it three inches across. Pick a reference point, scale the model to that, keep it consistent. Rideable? Gotta be rideable. No take-backs. Gotta be rideable.

This? This gutter rat is not fucking flying on my watch—

This is decent, but it's not rideable. Bigger.

This is laughable

This is rideable

NEXT—

▶ Give my girl some options, please

I love her Enchanted Forest look and I don't mind that she's not exactly dressed "for battle", because that's the fun of her party trick: she's always battle ready, she's a wolf in woman's clothing, she's supposed to not raise suspicion about her true power—

—and I know she's a peasant and she's not rolling in coins and she can't really afford many options, but—

Over the course of five seasons, she only has THREE OUTFITS? And TWO ARE A REMIX OF EACH OTHER?? Come on. Give her something! A DIY leather thing, fur or feather thing. Let her brief time with Anita's pack influence a bit of her clothing choices. I don't know. I'm not the fashion gal. We've got @lex-noctis for that.

On that same note,

▶HELLO????

I know one is from the Pilot, and they were mostly making shit up on the spot for the supporting cast, and this was probably a widely different version of Red's character— but what's the excuse for the other cloak? Why is that different?

"but it's from 1x10, from before they knew what they wanted to do with Red's cloak",

Sure, fair!

But

This is from 1x21, well after they had settled on the significance of Red's one and only magic cloak. Why. Is. It. Different.

Shot before 1x15? Understandable, but, come on, crew! Some level of forethought and planning, for the sake of internal logic! Now I have to find a headcanon plug for this hole!

Speaking of headcanon, this is a nitpick pushed further by my personal bias, but,

▶ Better sell the illusion of Red's wolf strength!

We all know Meghan's not a werewolf, but the character is. And the character is later presented to be extraordinarily physically strong!

The show intended for that reading, when creating this shot:

So why is she struggling with this basket?

Help my suspension of disbelief, and tell Props to get Meghan an identical basket, but with a fraction of the weight. Tell Ginny to lift the real, heavy thing, while Meghan gets to easily handle the feather-light copy. It's a small detail, but it makes a world-building of difference!!

And, while we're at it, not to punish Meghan for not going "method" and LARPing as a Werewolf 24/7 at the cost of her health, but

▶ Lighter clothing, maybe?

Not in color, the color scheme is perfect!

Meaning, winter wear that's not winter wear...? For a creature that doesn't feel as cold as a normal person, and is better insulated against the harsh weather, even in human skin.

HEAR ME OUT. I'm not one to question the Costume Department's wisdom. They have the Emmys, not me. They soft-launched Ruby's queerness, not me (and arguably not the writers, shhh), but... could we... maybe... have had... Ruby in considerably less clothing than the humans around her, because she's better equipped to withstand the winter?

I won't go as hard on this one, because I know what's like to freeze my ass off onstage/onset for the sake of craft, and I know I complained in my head for the entire duration of it, but.... maybe...........

You know something I can go disproportionately hard on?

▶ This hair.

I don't want to hear it. No trial, no nothing. Jail. Sit in that cell for five nights and think about what you've done.

AND RIGHT AS RUBY IS HAVING HER PIVOTAL REALIZATION? SO I CAN'T SKIP THAT SCENE?

SLEEP. IN. JAIL.

Some missteps I can look past, I'm not that picky!

This mess is endearing.

Girl's going through it, it's been a long day, she's running around hiding from her feelings, it's stressful, I don't mind the bed head look, it works on her.

Even this Wet Dog Look is passable in funny, miserable way,

like this big ass coat they threw on Jen so she could barely move her head

It's a poor excuse of a scene they couldn't give two shits about, they were working against the drizzle, and the whole thing exists only to hurry the plot along,

But this clump of matted stuff as an eye-sore in such a important moment? JAIL.

God gods, Hair and Make-Up, who hurt you? And why did you have to hurt me? Damn. You had done such an incredible job enhancing Ruby's natural beauty, but why did you have to shit on her head right at the end? Get help.

▶ Nickname consistency

That's on the Script Supervisor. Where are you, buddy? Come here, you. I'm not gonna scream at you. I'm not mad, just disappointed.

This?

Post Curse Snow calling her friend "Red"? Delicious! Yes! More of that! Her friends call her Red, and that's wonderful!

This?

Not so much.

What logic is that? "Friends call her Red, but best friends don't?" Get out of here.

I know it's in the middle of one of my favorite Red Snow Scenes, but..... you could have fixed that. Fix that. Go back in time and fix that, please? I'll give you my firstborn—

Anyone else calling Ruby "Ruby" would be acceptable. But Snow? Snow knew Red longer than she knew Ruby. That name slips out of her lips in an easy breath. There is no reason for her to call her "Ruby".

Speaking of things that make no sense and have no reason to be—

▶ Care to explain this patch of fur?

No, shhhh, no, it's okay, I don't mind that. I love that, in fact. I love that weird, unexplained, random detail so much, it's one of my first Ruby Lucas Headcanons ever! I don't want you to remove it, I just want you to address it.

Why the hell is that there? Is that a rendering error? A model quirk? A hidden reference to a past event that we would never see?

Is Regina to blame? Was it a freak accident in battle? Did she stand too close to the stove when Granny was baking?

And, most importantly: HOW DOES THAT TRANSLATE TO THE HUMAN FORM, because I have EVEN MORE QUESTIONS ABOUT—

▶ The vanishing clavicle scar

Granny shot the Wolf in the neck region with a silver-tipped arrow (which, by the way?????? risky as fuck, Granny!)

And...... we...... never see the evidences of it?

Sure, sure, sure, Red has Wolf Healing, but it's SILVER. And we see her getting up in the very next minute, and... there is nothing???

Some speedy recovery is expected from her kind, but this quickly, this instant, from their greatest weakness??? With no lasting pain, stinging or discomfort whatsoever???

It should be somewhere around here. Or a little closer to her shoulder, if we're allowing for some Wolf/Human anatomy adaptation, but....

And I know it's covered up, but?????

My god, it keeps me up at night..... 🚬🚬🚬🚬

She concluded, after much frustrated deliberation, that the only person in town who would have the energy to rivals her son's was the wolf waitress girl — currently just a waitress (thankfully). In need of change, harmless enough and the right kind of naive to be trusted with the task. It also didn't hurt that Ruby seemed to vibrate on a toddlers' wavelength, so, all things considered... Regina thought it was a smart decision. She needed the help, Ruby needed the money, Henry needed a friend.

The Evil Queen never expected she'd be relying on Snow's guard dog to babysit her son, but, perhaps, 22 years of a Dark Curse is enough time to change one's mind.

What Regina didn't expect was for Ruby to pass out with Henry. Gods! How much energy does this kid have, that he almost outlasted a former werewolf? Impressive! A bit concerning. But mostly impressive.

The house is a mess, the waffles taste like dog food and there is syrup all over everything, but Regina is, somehow, pleased. Despite the chaos surrounding them, Henry sleeps peacefully, with a pleasant little smile on his face. And maybe that's a sign Regina has finally made the right choice.

When Henry is 11, Regina starts to doubt it again.

She's sure she's doing everything wrong, but she'll never admit it out loud. Maybe only to Henry, in her sincere attempt to correct her course. And maybe, once or twice, under her breath or above it, drunk or sober, to Ruby. She can't really track how exactly the girl came to know about Regina's inner turmoil, but she knows it, and it's too late to hide it — maybe she never could. It's hard to hide from a sniffing dog.

When Ruby offers to babysit Henry again, Regina thinks it's partially because of her. To help her, rather than to keep Henry from trouble. Her son is intelligent, despite the recklessness inherited from his birth mother; Regina thinks Ruby is not entirely needed to keep him from life-threatening trouble. But she's not about to test that theory. She accepts it, though she later wonders if she ever had a real say in the matter.

At the end of a long day, at the end of hard week, Regina is proven wrong again. She learns from David that, if it wasn't for Ruby's sharp senses and superior strength, Henry would have found a hundred different ways to escape and endanger himself. Any other babysitter would have lost sight of the boy, or been unable to keep him from climbing out the window. Ruby is exhausted, but Henry is safe.

Many long days, stretched over many hard weeks teach Regina that safe isn't the only thing her son needs to be. She learns Ruby keeps Henry far from harm, and genuinely entertained. That lazy slumbering smile from years ago is nothing compared to the full-belly laughs Ruby is able to tease out of him. Games Regina never knew existed and jokes she wished she'd never heard, keeping Henry's eyes bright and curious, distracting him from the thought of Emma and Snow's fate. It lasts for the day, fills the afternoon and fades out at night, but it's there, the sincere joy in her son's face, after so long...

Ruby is passed out by his side when David comes to check on them. They both sleep deeply, in awkward angles on the couch, and Regina asks him not to wake them. Henry's sleep is precious, specially now.

The Prince offers Regina a cup of tea and a truce, when he tells her she was right to trust Ruby with her son.

Giving her the improvised role of Henry babysitter was cute and compelling at first — and it could have been mined for some wonderful Godmother!Red lost promise and Ruby/Regina tension — but as soon as it became apparent it was a dead-end plot thread, I quickly became annoyed by it. Instead of cutting away to the two of them in their adorable (or not!) hideout, showing their domestic dynamic (or not!), while they wait out the current crisis, the show simply discarded the concept completely, to not touch it in the slightest!! It was just a way to solve the "loose kid" problem and nerf Ruby's variable, not a real character growth opportunity.

The poor handling of the Red Beauty friendship (and potential situationship!) was equally shallow and short-sighted.

Dismissing her perspective on the Greg and Tamara threat was specially stupid from a pure narrative point. Ignoring her real concerns for their presence only hurt the world-building and limited story's reach.

MINIMIZING THE HORRORS OF HER TIME UNDER THE DUNBROCH'S WITCH CONTROL IS A MONUMENTALLY DEVASTATING WASTE OF ANGST POTENTIAL, COMPARABLE ONLY TO NOT DRAWING THE LINK BETWEEN ANITA AND CRUELLA—

You can see the pattern here by now, right? All those are things they didn't do. Places they didn't go. Possibilities they didn't explore. It's a failure by lack of trying. Again, it's the neglect.

Ruby Lucas, as a character, was barely tended to. For a potential as complex and rich as hers, that's a grave, grave crime. And, as far as I'm concerned, it's the writers biggest mistake.

So I can't really dissect and dispute them for any attention they ultimately gave her. It was brief, it was poor, it was disinterested and absentminded, but it was a gaze in her direction, and I love looking at her.

By vowing to never leave Dorothy's side, Ruby consequentially steps into a leadership role. Awkwardly. Uncertainly. Going against her best natural abilities and most comfortable inclinations. She does so to help Dorothy, who seems more and more overwhelmed with each passing meeting, decision, decree, debate... Ruby wants to ease the mounting pressure off Dorothy's shoulders, and she thinks taking on some of the Saviour's burden means sharing the leadership.

But, oh, she doesn't do well in such a highly visible role. Her cursed personality might have given her some experience in serving the public, but public service? Facing the public? Taking on the responsibility to address their needs and concerns? Having to make big, final, official decisions to alter the fabric of an entire city and inevitably affect the lives of its people? Standing firm on those decisions, despite the push back, despite the doubts and protests? Risking disappointing some, to serve others? Oof.

She's not used to making those calls. She's not used to making many calls, really. She's the support, she's always been. She's best operating from the sidelines — the shadows, even. Facilitating the ways for the real leaders, aiding their plans, giving her hands to their work. A machine at their disposal, with the added perk of a good, incorruptible heart. She's the arms, the shoulders, the back, the legs, the body. But the head? Not really. It's all very new to her. And so, so scary.

So that offer from Granny, in a way, becomes Ruby's reality — whether she's ready for it or not... She's not. But she works hard to be! To train this new muscle, develop this new skill, become this new version of herself, after the old one stopped getting in her way.

Is it permanent? Maybe not. Maybe, like before, with her trial period with Emma, it lasts long enough to give her self-esteem a boost, to expand her perception of her self, to help her grow — but not necessarily in that direction.

A failed experiment is useful information. It's one more step into her search for purpose in this new, strange, happy life. It's important feedback.

Maybe she steps back into a supporting role again, and gives Mulan the chance to lead the land with all her wisdom and discipline. Maybe she takes over for Dorothy from time to time, like a tag team, one preventing the other from burning out, until they figure out how not to do that kind of work anymore. And until Ruby learns what she's really meant to do in Oz.