I'd like to apologize in advance

jack had absolutely no right to go this hard

i think it is good to warn people in advance about the circumstances that will cause you to bite them and i think that having given that warning it is good to follow through when the time comes

the rattlesnake is an admirable creature whose virtues we should emulate

One time at dance some rando grabbed me by the waist and told me to dance with him and I told him “if you don’t let go I’m going to bite you” and he didn’t let go so I bit him and that really should be the end of the story but he thought that was funny so I turned around and gave him a donkey kick to the shins and took about a 4 inch strip of skin with me so what I learned that day is when one is without debilitating venom, one must be as a horse do

“be as a horse do” is my new favorite colloquialism.

This post isn’t written in any known human language

Is this what understanding a newspaper political cartoon is like?

loose, foot loose, put on your fuckin foot loose, feet, foot feet, dance on your fucking feet

i hope that one day i will finally be ok….i’ll make a cherry pie when it is all over

reblog the cherry pie to be ok