agent m. hill

content warnings: alcohol, drinking, killing, death, murder. feel free to change prompts as necessary!

❝i feel like it’s my responsibility to stop them.❞

❝i ask people if i can trust them, they say yes, and then they trick me! or they use me to do bad things.❞

❝this seems like a very large task for one person.❞

❝i almost died today, motherfuckers. i almost died.❞

❝well, only one place to go and that’s down.❞

❝stay put. don’t move.❞

❝hi! want some booze?❞

❝you seem to have such an affinity for cute things.❞

❝anyone else feel like going for a swim?❞

❝as long as you don’t mind dying, sure.❞

❝we are the worst people.❞

❝i respect you and your intentions, but your caution does not get to control other people’s destinies.❞

❝there’s only so many burdens we can bear before we’re just asking for failure.❞

❝you did check for traps, right?❞

❝no! i’m opening it. fuck off grandpa!❞

❝maybe you’re cursed.❞

❝how did you survive?❞

❝we solved the mystery.❞

❝light the damn sticks of dynamite, just do it!❞

❝i don’t know what i’m doing. just go with it.❞

❝should i burn it?❞

❝you faded away there for a second. are you good?❞

❝let's focus on the good things in our lives.❞

❝is there anything of use or value here at all?❞

❝things are looking up.❞

❝earlier you said i could talk to you whenever i want. and i thank you for that.❞

❝that’s a good name. names are important.❞

❝i’ll take out everyone!❞

❝wake up, there’s an ambush!❞

❝are you bullshitting me?❞

❝we’re doing what we need to survive.❞

❝if you’re going to do bad things, at least work for someone who’s rich and doing bad things! don’t just steal from people on the road, that’s stupid!❞

❝only steal from grumpy people!❞

❝i was trying to be jovial, i’m sorry. i shouldn’t have tried that.❞

❝there’s nothing better than waking up in the morning with no pants and flowers in your hair.❞

❝i’ve never been here, but i’ve heard stories.❞

❝where do the best parties happen?❞

❝laughter and music? i don’t trust laughter and music.❞

❝have you ever been dancing before?❞

❝is this your first time here?❞

❝sorry to interrupt your incessant flirting. can i please have a damn drink?❞

❝if you drink enough you won’t remember either way.❞

❝was it someone special?❞

❝i’ve never thought of you as an optimistic person, but that’s a very positive way of looking at things.❞

❝you are not going to pass out on the street.❞

❝what’s the thing you’re most proud of?❞

❝am i allowed to rob him?❞

❝you look like you’ve got an honest face.❞

❝it’s fine. you’re not in any danger.❞

❝hi, i’m here to take care of your spinny death problem.❞

❝i don’t think they’re going to let me in.❞

❝i’m quite sure. did i stutter?❞

❝can’t we just please go kill your damn death robot?❞

❝i can speak when i have to.❞

❝is that your blood or is that mine?❞

❝the only thing that’s magical here is you.❞

❝sometimes the people who help you are the least expected.❞

❝my entire life has been plans being made for me.❞

❝i don’t think you and i have the same plan, but they might overlap. i will be willing to help you.❞

❝let’s make a pact that if either one of us does something stupid, we’re each other’s failsafes.❞

❝i don’t think i want to hurt anymore people and i don’t think you want to either.❞

❝i think i can help you. i think you can help me. i think we can do some good here.❞

❝if i left, i would find my way back to you.❞

❝i do better with you around.❞

❝for all the visions, the darkness out there, it’s good to know that somehow we’re all putting a little bit of light out there too.❞

❝i have a question. does anyone have booze?❞

❝i’m trying this thing where i’m trying to be more polite.❞

❝i am the greatest detective of all time! i took one drink and solved the case!❞

❝you’re going to be a fucking piece of work.❞

❝i’m more than happy to kill something at this point. i have some aggression to work out.❞

❝do we want to stay in the haunted house?❞

❝that’s the most fucked up shit i’ve ever seen.❞

❝truly nothing escapes your astute observation.❞

❝i thought we were getting to know each other.❞

❝did you have a happy home life growing up?❞

❝i’ll help you try to get revenge on your vague past.❞

❝how about you tell me one fact about you and i tell you one about me?❞

❝what’s the best lie you’ve ever told?❞

❝you are a good friend to have and a terrible enemy to make.❞

❝i didn’t know! i’m sorry. i’m sorry. i didn’t know.❞

❝i’m not walking away from this.❞

❝it’s funny how the good people can make us assholes feel so small.❞

❝i think you’re supposed to say some stuff about how good they were and how many people loved them, and what a wonderful life they had, but i don’t think any of that is true.❞

❝i thought you were talking to yourself again.❞

❝are you willing to kill?❞

❝i have lost people before. i have found ways to find them in nature.❞

❝this is my first time trying to be more than i am.❞

❝you and i, we’re going to survive this.❞

❝i don’t have any family; you’re the closest thing i have.❞

❝you may be kind of weird but you’re also nice.❞

❝i am nauseous. let’s go kill a bunch of people.❞

❝i would like to hug you.❞

❝usually when people come here, it is because of some great tragedy. how can i alleviate your pain?❞

❝i’m gonna take a guess: you don’t leave here very much do you?❞

❝violence is extremely natural.❞

❝i’m canonically a coward!❞

❝oh this is going wonderful.❞

❝you don’t need to do this if you don’t want to.❞

❝brave. dead. it’s semantics, really.❞

❝they. are. going. to. die.❞

❝it’s not your fault.❞

❝this won’t happen again.❞

❝i would have laid down my life for you.❞

❝i’m sorry i wasn’t faster.❞

❝it looks better on you.❞

❝you can cook?❞

❝leave me alone. i’m reading.❞

❝i would feel a little safer if i knew a little bit more about you.❞

❝i’ll find you when i’m ready.❞

❝most people in my life leave.❞

❝there is always a cost.❞

❝i made the earth remember him.❞

❝congratulations on being alive.❞

❝you cannot blame yourself when you are taken advantage of.❞

❝i have people i want to find and things i want to remedy.❞

❝i feel like you should embrace the morbidity of life.❞

❝afraid? i’m not afraid of anything!❞

❝did you see what i did?❞

❝why didn’t you come?❞

❝you promise you won’t leave?❞

❝i don’t think i’ve ever come across magic like that.❞

❝things that are unknown are notably able to draw dangerous and inquiring eyes and minds.❞

❝just so you know, i think i can punch ghosts now.❞

❝i just know if i saw a ghost, i would want to punch it. ghosts are scary.❞

❝it’s easier to steal things when you can pay for them with money.❞

❝this is not where i am supposed to be.❞

❝i have no specific destination in mind.❞

❝i’ll go where you go.❞

❝what do you want to know?❞

❝well i can’t go home.❞

❝we stick together.❞

❝we have things we need to do and we don’t have forever to do them.❞

❝you know what i’ve done.❞

❝sometimes you have to take a big risk if it’s that important.❞

❝you can’t just sneak up on a person!❞

❝sorry, just figured you’d want some company.❞

❝i've always loved the water.❞

So, you know...He knows the correct answer here is that it's very bold of her to assume he ever has a single thought in his head when it comes to who - and who not - to flirt with, and he thinks his dating track record kind of underlines that fact in sparkly pink highlighter. Because if he ever actually stopped and thought about it, he might see red flags. And wouldn't have all the wonderful emotional trauma from past relationship hits like Whitney Frost and Marianne Rodgers.

But since this is Maria Hill, and he will never, under any circumstances, give her something so blatantly and self-aware...ly? Honest-

She's not sure why she even asked, other than the fact that — well. The Avengers tend to. The number of double entendres she's heard when more than three of them are in a room at the same time is high, that's all. "I would have assumed that you file that particular form where I file all of your suggestions from the suggestion box." Maria flicks a finger towards the shredder in the corner. "But I'm flattered that you think so highly of me that you took the time to make me art." She considers, discards, then reconsiders the idea to send Tony ascii art of a middle finger. "I was hoping we could compare notes on the ones we already dug out of your dumpster," she finishes brightly, knowing that it's bullshit and that Tony will know it's bullshit the second she says it. They both know that she's never really going to get any information unless Tony lets her get it, but it's fun to try and hack in. Keeps her busy on a slow night.

“Fine, then you can ask me for help.” Maria raises an eyebrow at Clint. “As evidenced by about fifteen minutes ago, I’m always going to show up.” She reaches out and smooths down the hair she disturbed with her smack. Clint is… well, he’s something. She likes him. Letting him face down anyone without backup is not something she wants to consider. The fact that he does, because he refuses to call for help, that gets under her skin.

He always says it was just one guy. As if Maria can’t tell the difference between punches from one guy and punches from more. “My day was already fucked, I was just hoping the coffee would unfuck it a little bit.” She shrugs. Clint’s good enough at beating himself up that she’s not about to pile on. And it is the truth — her day was already headed for the basement. “You can make it up to me by getting me a pastry from the cafeteria.”

Maria snorts, shaking her head. “I can download the street surveillance and make a copy for the record. I’m pretty sure everything that was on there. And let’s face it. I don’t want to write this up.” It’s not as if it was embarrassing, but Maria also had no desire to have her ninja car chase immortalized in the database. “Let’s just call this a Wednesday adventure and call it a day.”

The elevator dings and she steps out, heading towards the cafeteria. “You want to pretend it’s an hour ago, you’re offering me coffee, and we just come down here instead of going out?”

     He really wants to tell her that she texted him first, but it hadn’t been in the context of helping, and he wouldn’t have made it out quite so neatly if it hadn’t been for sending her his location for an emergency extraction. Granted, these ninjas were mostly coming after him with bladed weapons, so he could have kept his distance while taking them down, but the combination of having limited arrows and being painfully outnumbered probably would have done him in. He really does need to get into the habit of asking for help more often.

     Clint does smile at Maria’s agreement in quietly sliding this under the mat rather than doing paperwork on it. After all, it’s not like this was part of a mission. He’d simply gotten caught in an … unfortunate altercation with some people and … oh, heck, but SHIELD had backed them up when they arrived at the building. Well, as long as Maria said it was okay not to fill out the forms, he’s not complaining.

“They were already frayed, don’t apologize too much.” Maria shrugs. She’s started to let things age around her, because she doesn’t anymore, and they weren’t in the best shape to start with. “They might look better now that you’ve—” She waves her hand generally at Heimdall’s lap. She’s not really sure what he’s doing, but she can always head back to town and pick up some more fabric. She heads to the kitchen and puts her bags on the table, starting to unpack the food. It’s not as if any bad food can hurt her these days (there was one death that had resulted from food gone off, but that had happened at home and she’d reset before the morning had come, so no one had noticed) but the taste! God, she loves good, fresh food.

“We can always leave them short.” They look better than they did before, and that was… Well, maybe Maria needed to take another pass through her house and tidy some things up. “Thanks for warming the house up.” She continues, pulling a pot out and sorting out what she needs for the stew. “But if you want, you can work on that while I try and get some pants together that will actually fit you.”

She’s got enough sewing supplies that they could both work at the same time. “You’re not against meat, are you? Now’s the time to tell me before I add any to this pot.” Maria looks over at Heimdall. “I’m kind of assuming that you eat a… lot.” She continues. He might look smaller now, but he was quite tall when he landed in her field, and she assumes that he has a stomach to match. “And we can talk more about… everything.” She is interested in the whole idea of other realms and magic. Well, more than whatever is happening with herself, anyway. She only does one thing, and she can’t exactly control it. “More about this convergence of yours.”

     Heimdall is only slightly shame-faced at having overestimated himself. He had hoped that, given the thickness of the curtains, he could simply take some of the thread from each of them while leaving the overall structure intact and use those to make a simple cloak for one of the horses that looked a bit cold out in the pasture. It seems a bit foolish, in retrospect. He nods at her offer to keep working and takes the curtain down properly so he can finish his task and hang it back up again. Once the realms begin to fall out of alignment again, it will be easier to restore things properly, and at that time, he’ll make sure that the curtain looks as good as new and is better at retaining heat than when he started, given that he’s stealing material from it.

     He has no complaints about consuming anything she sees fit to throw into the stew and tells her so. “My need for sustenance is not overwhelming.” His eyes glimmer, amused. “In quantity or intensity. I am quite capable of going for long periods of time without food or rest.” And that solves the where-to-sleep issue as well, if Maria doesn’t mind him staying up while she’s asleep.

@knowseverythingaboutyou moved for beta editor

[x] Barney sighs. Even if he’s gotten damn good at subterfuge with the scumbags that he works with ( or for, or against ), Maria is pretty well near an expert at reading people, so it’s no surprise that he’s an open book to her. Especially at the moment, the worry has his barriers down a little further than usual. While he normally manifests that as frustration, right now he can’t be bothered that she notices that he doesn’t want her to be in unnecessary danger. He doesn’t always have much of a conscience to speak of but, if things go wrong here, it might weigh on him more than a little bit.

“Save the gym date for next week.” There’s a hint of his usual bravado in it, which is a good sign that he’s mostly pulled himself together as they approach danger. “And yeah, looks like five. I’ll keep ‘em talking and give you a head start.”

Maria gets a wry smile aimed at her and then the op is underway. Barney slows the car to what would be considered a nonchalant speed, easing into the turn so that Maria can roll out unharmed before pulling the door closed behind her. As far as he can tell, the vehicle hasn’t even been spotted yet but he needs it to be in order to distract them, so he keeps up his lazy pace.

“I’m here on invitation.” He smiles sharply at the guards when he finally arrives. “Heard there’s some of my blood in there and I get first pickings. Gonna open the gate for me?” There’s some chatter as they look from his ID to each other, then call in to someone with more authority to confirm things, and then nod. “Good lads,” he says, rolling through the gate, and then cranes his head out the window. “Which way once I get in?” They’re all turned away from where he came now, which should give Maria the opening she needs to take them out. Once she starts, he’ll join in.

“i’m thinking you would want an easier schedule since yours is just absolutely fucked.” maria’s got to stop arguing that there are easier people to go out with when there’s a hot woman who want to date her. she grins faintly, shrugging back at carol. all the rationalization in the world doesn’t penetrate an avenger’s sense of what was right, after all. she should have figured that it would be the same for their dating lives. “there was some smoke coming off the rocket launcher, yeah.” this she can do, the casual flirting — lots of practice with tony. he never meant it, and neither did she, but when his first instinct was to flirt, well. why not flirt back. “i’m sure you’ll have fun trying to get them out of me,” she agrees, laughing faintly. “not sure about your success rate but i’m looking forward to seeing what your plan to find out my secrets is. i hope it’s fun. or involves food.”

“I know that’s what happened, I’m just saying that power outages were all that happened afterwards. No bodies being found, no one going missing, no National Guard redirection or suspicious bank transfers from a branch of the government to anyone in Hawkins. It could have been a blip, or a mini-time loop, or one of your friends trying to reach out to their family the way that your friend Will did before everyone got snatched.” She shrugged. Taxes were always the way to find out where someone was or what they were doing — the reason for the paycheque might be fudged, but it would still be issued. Catching Capone on taxes had made a lot of organizations change the way they paid their people off the books.

No one liked going through accounts more than Congress and the IRS.

“Okay.” Maria eyed Steve thoughtfully but didn’t say anything else. She could assume the thought process behind his refusal — what if the people he knew were dead? What if they weren’t? Forty years was a long time to be gone. It was a lifetime, and everyone would have to deal with that. Maria could understand why Steve didn’t want to deal with it just yet, if ever. For some of them, if they were still alive, it might be kinder to let them think that Steve had, in fact, died when he disappeared in the eighties.

“Well, if you ever change your mind, road trips are kind of my jam.” Trying to get a SHIELD jet for that without explaining why she needed it wasn’t worth the effort, honestly, and commercial flights were — well, terrible. “Indiana Pacers still haven’t won an NBA Championship, but hope springs eternal. Trust me, I’m a Cubs fan.”

ㅤHis jaw may have snapped shut, but it was a lot harder to close off his entire expression as she explained all of the things that hadn't happened along with the power outages, and given the possible causes for it. He squinted a little, distrustful but watching her closely like he expected a lie to suddenly appear, bold as day, or like something she said would just make everything make sense in on neat little moment. Obviously neither of those things were going to happen, or did, because that wasn't how the world worked and just because Steve had some trust issues with agencies didn't mean it was all just going to fall into his lap like that.

ㅤMaybe there wasn't actually anything funky going on there, anyway. Maybe SHIELD wasn't lying and neither was Maria. It was possible, and given how they'd been set up with the apartment building and identities and all, SHIELD was looking okay. SHIELD, and Maria Hill once she'd arrived on scene, had 'saved his life' from his first death back in the real world (which had really only been a short reprieve before the first of the monsters came), and though that initial few weeks had been terrifying and confusing in its own ways, the agency had been absolutely invaluable in giving them lives back. He just wished he could stop waiting for the other shoe to drop.

ㅤThe problem with no new strangeness in Hawkins was that he and his friends were the only remaining link to the scary shit, and Steve still had a very strong link to the whole thing. Robin had flat out asked him if they were trying to talk him into being some kind of guinea pig or do anything weird, and he'd obviously said no, but once the thought was in his head, it was hard to get rid of it.

ㅤ"Okay, if you say that's all that happened, I guess. I just don't get why it'd be a constant thing for a few years and then just stop," he told her, clearly annoyed, but he knew as well as everyone else that he wasn't the scientist or the genius in the group. He missed the kids, which made him close his eyes and rub at his face, thoughts of them in their, what, 50s? "Yeah, I don't think I could really deal with seeing kids I drove to their first school dance in their 50s. That's older than my parents were."