#bokketo

No one left.

His father's gone, his mother's gone. Alicia's gone, Clea's gone. They even found Simon when going through the depths of Renoir's drafts, and put him to rest, as well. He's the last one of his family, of his Expedition, of his ——

He breathes, and he tries to find the grief in it all. He tries to find anger, fury, grief —— anything. But what's left instead is something cold and heavy in his chest, in his gut, and it refuses to move or turn, refuses to do anything aside from anchor him here.

Slowly, he opens his hand, and a single crushed petal still is imprinted heavily into the old creased leather. He passes his thumb over it, and it catches, tears, and then snags in the breeze and is ripped away from him, tumbling and dancing in the updraft from the cliffside.

" —— yes, " he says, quiet, chancing a look over to her. He smiles, faintly, but it's a ghost of a thing that doesn't really touch his eyes. " You're not her. But you also are. And she was always the best of all of us. " He takes in a breath, lets it go. " And I think we're all just people in the end. "

It's complicated, isn't it. He could handle most of them, but Alicia —— that had stricken him, and he had been angry, upset, burning with an injustice he didn't have a right to feel. Would he have begged her to stay? Begged her to stay, knowing what he planned to do? Did he really intend on going through with it all?

Complicated questions, and they all rattle. But now —— now, pale eyes slip over, studying her. " Do you think I am? " A pause. " Me. Not Verso. "

On a good day, Gustave would've found his mistake almost immediately— but he hadn't had a good day in a whlie. Most of the past few months were spent arguing with Sophie, until it finally led to their breakup, and Gustave had all but buried himself in his work because of it, with barely any breaks for sleeping or eating.

On a good day, he would've known his prototype wasn't ready. He would've tinkered more, done some more testing. But he needed the win. He needed something.

Three months later, he's sitting in his lab. On the surface, it isn't a different sight from before, except for the metal prosthetic that has replaced his left arm thanks to his mistake from all those months ago. Gustave hates it. It gets in the way more than it helps— at least, he's been told it'll help. He's got doubts about that.

(Somewhere in the back of his mind, he's thinking of ways he can improve it. It'll be on the back burner for now.)

He's also been told he should be at home resting, but, obviously, he barely paid attention to that piece of advice. He needs to keep himself busy, then maybe the pain will go away. Whether it'll be the physical or emotional pain, he doesn't know. He'll take either at this point.

He hears her footsteps approaching, and of course, he recognizes her instantly. He spent so long committing every little thing about her to memory, that's only natural.

Not that long ago, he would react to her arrival with a smile before sweeping her up in his arms to kiss her. Now, the memory cuts through him like a knife.

Still, he doesn't show it— can't show it, and he can't ignore her either. The arguments don't matter, not with how much he loves her. He could never hurt her on purpose.

So, instead, he turns to her, offering her a smile that doesn't quite reach his eyes. He's okay, because he has to be. For Sophie.

@bokketo said: Skye wakes up and squints. She remembers falling asleep in her room, face buried in her favorite plushie, but it's gone. Oh wait, she knows these sheets; they fit her parents' bed, not hers. And is that a... "Ewwww dad, your feet are in my face!" There's no comment made about how her feet are in his face too.

Not Even A Meme // accepting // @bokketo sent for Johnny — ""Alcohol. Do you have any?"

"How did you..."

Kage begins his question with stilted concern, coming close and looking at the new bandaid right over the bridge of Clint's nose. It's red underneath, so he knows it's fresh. Never mind it was due to a skirmish with his alter-ego that caused it. Kage hasn't connected those dots either.

"How did you get this one? I thought I had done some good with my remodel of your store where I helped you minimize the sharpness of the corners."

It was Theo’s first night in the castle. The Sorting had taken place, she and her fellow First Years had taken their seats at the tables of their respective Houses, Dumbledore had made his strange announcement about the third floor corridor, the students and teachers had eaten their fill, and now Theo and her fellow Slytherins were in their new dormitory under the lake.

There were five other girls in the room with her. Two of them – Daphne Greengrass and Pansy Parkinson – Theo knew quite well. She was vaguely familiar with Millie Bulstrode; they’d never played together as children, but they had crossed paths at a few parties. But Tracey Davis and Hermione Granger were strangers to her.

Tracey seemed excited enough about the upcoming school year, but Hermione, though she looked like she was trying to hide it, was clearly feeling rather glum. Theo had noticed it during the feast, and wondered at it. What could she possibly be unhappy about? Going to Hogwarts was every young witch or wizard’s dream, and Slytherin was one of the better Houses.

Perhaps she’d had a friend or sibling who’d been Sorted elsewhere and whom she’d hoped to accompany, but Theo would be the first to admit that that was just a guess.

-- be well, stranger. I hope today and every day brings you joy.

Self vs. non-self (and the integration of the Winter Soldier into Bucky Barnes)

As you pointed out in your question, my Bucky has incorporated the Winter Soldier into her self-identity. Whereas MCU!Bucky says, "I am not the Winter Soldier anymore," my Bucky, like 616!Bucky, has accepted that the Winter Soldier will always be a part of her. She's discussed this before with @invncibleiron's Tony -- that Bucky Barnes and the Winter Soldier aren't two separate personalities.

Bucky has come to the conclusion, looking back on her life, that the seeds of the Winter Soldier were always there. She's always had a certain ruthlessness to her, especially in defense of the people that she cares about. As a child in Brooklyn, that usually involved not being afraid to use her fists to teach someone who hurt her sisters or Steve or her friend Rosie Finn a lesson. She fought by trying to get the bullies on the ground or running away as quickly as possible, even if that meant breaking a nose or knocking out some teeth.

These people are mine. How dare you try to harm them?

Still, when she was young she did her best not to leave wounds that wouldn't heal. But the brutality of the war and the trauma from having been raped, tortured, and experimented on in the Red Skull's factory stripped away a lot of her younger self's qualms about that. She found that killing came easily to her, and also found that she didn't feel particularly bad about killing, either. It had to be done, so she did it -- competently, thoroughly, and without remorse. The Nazis and the Red Skull were murdering innocent people and causing untold suffering for those who survived. Bucky found that unconscionable, so she did everything she could to put a stop to it in the most permanent way possible. Dead Nazis can't kill again.

This world is mine. How dare you try to destroy it?

The pieces of Bucky that would comprise the Winter Soldier were already in place by the time she fell off that train. All that was left for Zola and Karpov to do was to strip away the parts of her that weren't the Winter Soldier. The Winter Soldier is just Bucky Barnes with her conscience, memory, and free will removed. The fact that she was already suffering from amnesia caused by the fall and her subsequent death made their job easier. It would have taken a lot more work to break a Bucky who could remember who she was and what she believed.

I think it's important to point out that, even as the Winter Soldier, she wasn't a bully. She was competent and brutally efficient, but when she was controlled by the Soviets she always made an effort to avoid collateral damage, and she clashed with her handlers over that tendency on more than one occasion. Alexander Pierce broke her of that habit, but even when she was under his control, she never took any joy in hurting people. She followed orders. She did the job that was assigned to her, because that was all she knew how to do, but she did it without passion or pleasure.

When she finally escaped from HYDRA and came back to herself, she had to come to terms with the fact that yes, she had been the Winter Soldier. More than that, she still was the Winter Soldier. So she decided to make use of that fact. Bucky has always been practical. She'll deploy any tool in her arsenal, and the Winter Soldier is now another tool that she can use. People are terrified of the Winter Soldier, so she'll use the name and the reputation to strike fear into the people she has to fight.