Well, today sucked. Pretty much. Even if I explain myself to them, they won't care. They'll just get more disappointed in me or more or less be mad at me. That I wasn't being careful or anything. Ugh.
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Well, today sucked. Pretty much. Even if I explain myself to them, they won't care. They'll just get more disappointed in me or more or less be mad at me. That I wasn't being careful or anything. Ugh.

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Impossible.
I remember you standing there The first time seeing you clearly And everything else becomes a blur How.. how can such An amazing person exist Well, there’s one. One that made my heart stop Causing anxious feelings The need of you to be mine… Is Impossible.
Confession #3
I really really want to hold your hand... hold you... I can't help the feelings but.. I can't seem to get the courage do actually do it.. I'm sorry.. I just can't.. but I want to. I really do.
July 18, 2017
I'm so sorry.. I'm sorry that you have to go through that. I know it's really tough in your family, the things going on and I can't really do much to make things better.. or make thing okay.. I know you're really hurting but all I can do right now is to let you know that I'm listening and I'm here for you..
Confession #2
Is this considered as a confession? or maybe I’m just venting?
All this time I’ve been afraid to come out. I mean to my family. I’ve already seen how they reacted when my brother came out. How would it be like with me?
I know I’m not that type of person to give in to how other judge me but when it comes to close family I don’t think I can take it. I know they’ll still accept me. I know they’ll try. But I don’t think it’ll be the same. I have this deep feeling that somewhere within them, they don’t accept me fully. Like they still have this way of looking at me and ask “why”
To be honest, I don’t know why either. I’m sorry but I can’t help it. It’s who I am.
What scares me the most is that she’s ashamed of me.. Or less don’t want to be seen in public with. I just hate that we ignore each other in school like we don’t even know each other..
Well... Good luck to me.

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Monday, 23 January 2017
I’m starting to get numb.
I mean I feel this sadness in me, this heavy weight on my chest. I don’t know how to really explain it to be honest. With that heavy feeling comes with my mind running an endless marathon. Or maybe I’m in a loop? Anywhere I go I’ll just be back to square one. How do I stop? How do I break the trance? All I want to do is scream, yell, but a black void seems to be swallowing me whole. I can only hear myself. My voice echos. My words bouncing back to me. But nothing. Nothing seems to be working. It’s going bad again.
Confession #1
I'm jealous. Yes. Jealous. Jealous because you're always talking to this person. It's stupid of me to be jealous but I can't help it that I am. I'm sorry that I'm jealous and that I get jealous easily. 😞 I shouldn't even be jealous but I am. 😔😞
October 4, 2015
I want to save this dream I had.. It was surprising. We were at SM together going up the escalator and I was a bit busy on the phone. When it was getting closer and closer for us to walk off the escalator you suddenly grabbed my hand and pulled me. But holy shizzz. That made me so happy, and nervous because I was like "does she know she's holding my hand?" And stuff like "omg." But either way, it made me happy. Thennnn, you pulled me close to you. You smiled at me. Then you were gonna whisper something in my ear but I woke up. Ugh. What was it that you wanted to say? I want to know even though it was just a dream. Just a dream... 😞
I think I've fallen in love with you ❤️ hahaha beautiful as always 😊 had our laughs and smiles. Always enjoyed being with you. If only you know what you do to me ☺️
Not really a good pic but I tried hahah the person who made me nervous just meeting, but glad to get to know you more 😊 hope we could do this again

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September 13, 2015
Best day ever <3 I was so nervous in meeting you but it stopped after we got started talking :) I could tell you were nervous too, you were shaking as much as I was HAHAHA I’m glad you’re comfortable in talking to me about random things But the moment when I asked you what your first impression of me was You started turning red <3 You were so cute Then you were dodging the question by asking me the same question HAHAH :) But when you asked me what my first impression was.. I wanted to say what really was my first impression which was “Beautiful” I didn’t want to say it because maybe you’ll be weirded out by me hahah but I did say “Quiet, nerd” hahah I also wanted to say “perfect” <3 We talked about a lot of things but I won’t go much further hahah I just hope we could do this again <3
September 12, 2015
HORISHI
HOLY GAS <3
OHHHHH MY GAHHHH
I’m still in shock that she said yes to coffee HAHAH I mean I just wasn’t expecting it :) And like I asked again if she’s still up for coffee
and YES, yes she is! Ahhhhhh I’m so excited but so nervous at the same time. LIKE OMGGGGGG
I mean I never done this before so hahah And the only person I was ever alone with having coffee was with my best friend but that’s because she’s my best friend so I’m pretty much comfortable in doing anything or saying anything. Sooooo good luck to me hahahaha
August 19, 2015
HOLY GAS ❤️ hahaha
Well here’s the story. I planned to give flowers to this girl and so I did. I left the flowers on her chair/desk? Before our calculus class.
Now I kinda don’t really care that they know? But sort of a bit because they may be judging me and I feel really insecure and everything..
Anywayssss, I was so nervous waiting for her to come to class. 10 minutes before class and she’s still not there. I could feel my heart pumping really fast and deep. I was basically freaking out hahah But she finally came. They told me she seemed surprised. In a good way or bad?
Well this girl.. This exquisite girl.. Knows that I like her. Knows. As in she really knows but when my friends asked her if she knew who it was from, she said she doesn’t know. They asked if she has any idea who might have given it to her, still her answer was no.
Andddd continuing with the story. I chatted with her. I didn’t know how to start the conversation so I started be asking about calculus.
Our conversation usually starts with asking about school stuff hahaha
And she even asked me to tutor her which was really surprising. Knowing her being a genius ❤️
And she didn’t say it once but twice ☺️ Hopefully I do get to tutor her hahah
But like it’s really hard to approach her. I mean without the people around her, it’s easier to approach her but they scare me a bit hahah
And like I could say this plan was a SUCCESS. But also a failure because people knew or suspiciously know I gave it.
The only thing I wanted was for her to accept it. And she did ❤️
I’m really glad she accepted it ☺️
I also just need to know what is really happening. Like where is this going from her side of the story.
And I ended our conversation by saying good night. Which is also the first time I’ve told her that. And yes. She also replied to that ❤️ hahahaha
August 15, 2015
I seem a bit calm but on the inside I'm really really freaking out 😔 What to do -____-
This blog is for venting purposes only hahaha.
But if you ever read any of my posts. Feel free :D
Just don’t judge me <3
And thank you if you read any of it :3

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