Oh dear.

mr beast partnering with the lds church to help bring in younger people so they can marry off said younger people was not in my 2026 bingo

When youre a kid youre like wtf adults are making themselves sick with poisons and when youre an adult youre like i need more poisons ASAP

@videogamecows

I WISH TO PET THEIR NOSE

i like the term "gallows humor" because it always makes me think of someone getting sentenced to death and being like "i have GOT to be the funniest person at my public execution"

(no beers in) So how do you perceive me in the privacy of your thoughts

The reason I was downloading South Park episodes and songs on limewire and frostwire was because I was also obsessed with Kenny McCormick and for school we had to make a shitty little website about a world issue, so I found this free platform that doesn’t exist anymore but it was like a horrible little wix site from the mid aughts, and we based my groups theme on global warming. But when we were done with it I repurposed it as a perosnal site and lied about being a voluptuous blonde 19 year old woman who worked at a fictitious restaurant called the lunchbox, and I just wrote about how obsessed I was with Kenny McCormick and my sister found it and was like what the fuck is wrong with you. But she never told my parents. She also found this 80 page story I was writing about buddy the elf and all my weird skater ocs breaking into the moulin rouge, and at one point I was sick of buddy so I had a herd of buffalo trample him in the middle of a city and it was very tragic but jarring and unexpected. And she referenced a part of the story to me and it made me SO fucking paranoid that I wiped our entire, family shared packard bell computer and got in huge fucking trouble for it.

[taking you aside in the group masturbation vc] this place is a den of vipers... you are the only one I can trust

did chikorita ever end up decreasing the increase or was that another of bidens failed promises

the democrats ended up shunning chikorita and abandoning her policy proposals, calling her a "saultry little binch" and refusing to cooperate with someone "on the bottom lsft" of the political spectrum

its actually easy to de-enshittify your digital experience all you need to do is install this browser extension and this browser extension and this browser extension and input this custom script into the advanced box and go into your system settings and reconfigure all these options you didnt know existed and change your entire workflow and switch to this alternative operating system and this alternative web browser and this alternative chat client and this alternative word processor and this alternative- sorry that one turned out to be malware delete that one okay now double check your task manager for unwanted background processes and element block these ads and invest in a good VPN and append all your searches with AI blocking keywords and wait a few years until everything you just did becomes shitty too so you can do it all over again okay kitten. its literally that easy.

when i was 13 i made up a group of ocs who were gifted the ability to teleport but with caveats that made it really irritating for them and everyone else. i can’t remember all of them but two. one of them could only pass from place to place through water. they could jump into something as small as a cup of tea and come out the other side through a puddle or something but notably they did get wet. so any time they teleported anywhere they arrived soaking wet. they had to go everywhere with a waterproof paddling bag as a purse. the other could only teleport between occupied bathrooms. any bathroom in the world was fine but it had to be in use. they could just ask a friend to go in first and cheat it that way but in an emergency they’d just have to barge in on someone with their eyes closed and yell “SORRY! SORRY!” and disappear immediately from existence.

if leon kennedy was a little bug with a long proboscis it'd be called resident weevil. but he's not and it's not and i just don't know anymore