underpaid warlock

whenever you ask your friend who’s really into JRPGs “hey which one do i start with is the newest one fine” they always go “no, what you gotta do is head on over to ebay and look up the entry that completely bombed commercially. You’ll see that it goes for $800. Close ebay. Download an emulator for a console no younger than 17 years old. Download the ROM, and also this laundry list of various tweaks, retextures, and QoL tweaks. Pull up this exact spoiler-free guide put up a decade ago from GameFAQs, and you’ll experience the best game this series has to offer.” Like???

And they’re right

Don’t forget that you specifically want the unlocalised Japanese ROM so that you can apply a fan-made English translation patch published in 1998 by a guy with a dick joke for a screen handle because the official localisation was delayed for 20 years due to licensing issues and totally butchers the script by removing all the late 1990s pop culture references.

very girl slay when an electric pole has a million wires all tangled up around it

girl u are beautiful but damn you are a fire harzard

hits the bong and immediately becomes aware of the narrative

hits the bong again and looks directly at the camera knowingly

this is how eve got expelled from Eden

I like how bong can mean both penis and that big vertical disk that makes a lot of noise.

that's dong and gong. bong means neither of those things

This edible (fruit from the tree of knowledge) ain’t doing shit.

I’m naked.

whimsical satyr playing a delightful tune in the enchanted forest on his magical yamaha synthesizer

woman walking a husky and a maltese and her arms are splayed out like christ on the cross cause of their opposite temperaments. husky pointed like an arrow down the path and the maltese smelling the concrete with great slow consideration. she is grimacing. this is a new tarot card to me, but just another day on earth

Our Japanese class found it funny that in common terminology "food" isn't very distinguished from specifically "rice" until it was pointed out to us that in English "meal" is "loose roughly ground grain"

humans be like staple crop

staple crop to what

directly to forehead

i like the term "gallows humor" because it always makes me think of someone getting sentenced to death and being like "i have GOT to be the funniest person at my public execution"