Our Collective Life

Seriously, it's almost comical. "I don't have DID! This is all an elaborate lie built to protect me." This is actually what she said to our therapist last week. :/

I mean come on!! Believe whatever you want, but we are not going to go away.

Making Sense Of Denial

Once a week I enter into the calming space that my therapist has created, hand her some money, sit in a very comfortable chair and then for 60 minutes chat rubbish non-stop. Obviously to my ears its absolute rubbish but, I secretly I hope I say something worthwhile to her. Last week was a disaster, I went in nervous and apprehensive as I usually do when I go in there. I mentally prepare myself…

How the teens feel about sharing an adult body.

There are pictures in this post in case your reading via email.

Jack (13), Jodie (17) and Jaime (13).

Jodie James says that someone needs to write today’s blog post and it looks like I have drawn the short straw. :/. My name is Jodie and I am not sure I have anything useful to contribute. I have only been around for 4 months or so (I think). I asked the other teen Insiders what they thought…

For as long I can remember James has been there in one form or another. He became stronger and took on a life of his own in my teens and he has hardly changed.

Avatar Of James (He isn’t a fan of the Sims representation)

I spotted the note folded neatly on the fireplace and picked it up confused. Insiders normally wrote in the journal if they wanted to communicate. As I unfolded the note, I recognised the neat handwriting instantly. Please come to the office when you can. James. I stood in my living room holding the note and tried to wonder what on earth…

Establishing communication when you DID

When I first began exploring the possibility that I had DID I noticed one common thread. Every article and every website I came across impressed on the importance of establishing communication with your system members. Journalling was one of the recommended and common methods. So I went out and bought a fancy black leather bound journal and a pack of pens. I sat at home and wrote a list of the…

The Frustration Of Sleep

I Finally entered the warm cocoon of my lovely little flat. After hanging up my coat I drag my tired body through the dark hallway. (I really need to sort the light) My head is swimming with thoughts about therapy and the chaos of my Insiders but, I am exhausted.

I dump my shopping bag on the couch, double checking the contents to make sure there was nothing that needing cooling. I debate…

There seems to be a massive disconnect with what clients want and how the "experts" think we should be treated. The reality is the real experts are not the ones sat behind microphones at expensive conferences. Its the survivors.

“You understand that if you want to have a chance to have your girls back then your going to have to integrate.” My care coordinator said lightly flicking a speck of dust of her folder. This came after I had received a diagnosis of Dissociative Identity Disorder four days before. I had been fighting for this for 13 long miserable years “Sorry?” I said making sure that I had heard her correctly. “So…

Dont panic! We are not physically moving! We have decided to move our blog with an official domain and we will no longer have adverts clogging up our blog!

You can now find us at: http://www.ourcollectivelifeblog.com/

See you over at the new place.

Dont panic! We are not physically moving! We have decided to move our blog with an official domain and we will no longer have adverts clogging up our blog! You can now find us at: http://www.ourcollectivelifeblog.com/

See you over at the new place.

Test

I write about a meeting that took place in the innerworld. #DID #DissociativeIdentityDisorder

That such internal environments are possible for individuals with dissociative identity disorder is well known and accepted in clinical and academic environments. For example, “The Haunted Self’ by Onno van der Hart, Ellert R. S. Nijenhuis, and Kathy Steele includes information about how alters can interact internally and sometimes never take active control of the body. Within this internal…

Every single one of my Insiders deserves to have their voice heard and being treated like this causes pain and division as it seems to favour one Insider over the other #DID #Dissociativeidentitydisorder

I will preface this by saying that none of my current friends have ever done this! They seem to have common sense.

The switch lasted a few moments before James stepped back. He seemed disgruntled by something and I could see his tense back briefly before I fully stepped forward. My care coordinator looked at me expectedly.

“Kat, I have told you that I will only speak to you.” She said impatiently…

I have spent the last few days staring blankly at screens not really taking things in. Words don’t come as easily as they did a month ago and I am finding myself silencing my voice as the words spilling out is often meaningless and empty.

I feel like I am changing, inside layers that have been hidden away are seeing the sunlight for the first time.

Cracks in my highly constructed facade are…

Images swirled in front of my eyes and I couldn’t cope. I was questioning what was real. My hallucinations confused me and scared me all at once. Why was I seeing a pair of Indian women in sari’s sat silently across the ward next to the staff room. What was that image about a man in a spiral of water about? Why was the nurses trying to hurt me? I hadn’t done anything wrong? I was going to die in…

#DIDAwarenenessday a short blog post about today

I have been absent due to illness over the last 2 weeks, I am going to write about it but, today is more important!

Twenty five years ago Multiple Personality Disorder changed its name to Dissociative Identity Disorder. This was mainly due to the fact that MPD was becoming better understood in the field of psychiatry and so they wanted a better term to reflect what was actually going on.

We still…