Fuck Off

The reason Loki uses the salad, the salt shaker, the juice, etc to explain things and simplify things for Mobius is because...

He's used to explaining things to Thor. And you can't tell me Thor isn't a visual learner. Especially the Thor he left, which is first avengers movie Thor.

Pepper: See, darling. Sometimes the prince don't falls in love with the princess. Sometimes the princess falls in love with another princess and sometimes the prince falls in love with another prince.

Morgan: So uncle Steve is a prince that fell in love with another prince?

Let’s start with teaching positions:

“Mr. Hotch” - English, History

“Mr. Rossi” - Film, Psychology

“Emily” - French, Arabic, Gym coach

“Morgan” - Woodwork, Weight room & Gym Coach

“Dr. Reid” - Math, Science, Music theory

“JJ” - Spanish, Art

“Garcia” - Drama, Computer Science/Tech classes

“Principal Strauss” - no one likes her

“Gideon” - School counselor

“Officer Elle” - School security

Now about the staff:

Mr. Hotch is the strict teacher. No late work, he doesn’t curve grades, and can tell if you bullshit your tardy. But he’s still supportive towards the students that need it and helps any way he can. He barely smiles and is never absent from class. The only jokes he cracks are really cheesy dad jokes that make the class cringe and groan and snicker because he says them so seriously. If a student is having trouble in the class but it’s because of their parents, Hotch makes sure to meet with them and lecture the parents and defend his student as much as he can. But all his students know, one day each year, he plans a prank on Mr. Rossi, his rival. This is what the class looks forward to every year. A couple times he brings his son Jack to class and the class loves him. They’re also surprised to see Hotch smiling all day and going soft when he talks to Jack. When he has something important to teach he lets Jack hang out with Garcia.

Mr. Rossi is the strict, yet chill teacher. He disciplines his kids and gives them extra credit when they deserve it. He likes to joke with the class and brag about him being a best selling author, the class roll their eyes but enjoy it. He’s also extremely sarcastic and has dry and slightly dark humor. He throws a pizza party at the end of each quarter/term and every time he goes over to Hotch’s class to offer some. Hotch always declines but Rossi leaves it on the desk anyway. The only time Hotch breaks his no emotion streak is when Rossi visits and teases him. The class is told at the beginning of the year that it’s a feud but they all know they secretly have a thing for each other and are too stubborn to admit it.

Emily is the laid back Gym teacher. She and Morgan are constantly one-upping each other and they brag to each other who’s picked up the most girls at bars to entertain the class. She’s the only teacher that know’s how to piss off Morgan and her class loves that. She also teaches French and Arabic. JJ, the Spanish teacher, visits her class and her students notice every time that JJ is the only teacher Emily is sweet with, but JJ doesn’t seem to notice. 

Morgan is the cocky gym teacher and weight-room coach, and also teaches woodwork. He’s super chill but strict when he needs to be, and is constantly motivating kids. If a kid is in trouble or scared, Morgan makes sure to resolve the problem or defend the kid with his whole chest. He likes to compete against Emily’s class in sport games during class. But most of his free time he visits Dr. Reid. His main purpose is to embarrass Reid with innuendoes and flirting, which he’s always successful at. Reid’s class enjoys the shit out of it. Emily is annoyed at both of them and is the only teacher that calls Morgan Reid’s “boyfriend” just to mess with both of them. When Morgan can’t visit Reid’s class he sends Emily as a messenger who rolls her eyes every time.

Dr. Reid is that really smart teacher. He teaches up to the advanced math and science classes and also music theory. Reid tells the class to let him know if he’s talking too fast or rambling so he can slow down. He cares about all his students and although the students are annoyed with all the work they get, they enjoy having Reid as their teacher. They love the fact that he loves Dr. Who and give him Dr. Who and nerd themed gifts on his birthday. When the class is doing individual work Reid puts on classical music. The students also teach him about pop culture things like Tik Tok dances and iconic vines. Reid isn’t very social but they see his personality come out when Morgan visits. His face goes red every time Morgan drops an innuendo and threatens Morgan to leave the class. Some ways he’s done that is by throwing a white board eraser at him, threatening to splash a beaker of acid on him, and holding his guitar as a weapon. They know he’s not serious though because Reid fails to hide his smile. Garcia visits the class a lot and she’s like the mom of the class, she sometimes brings treats and likes to chat with the students. Every time she visits, she ad Reid are quietly gossiping in the corner, and although the class can’t hear them, they can tell it’s about Morgan (especially the one time they caught Reid blush during a conversation).

JJ is the Spanish and Art teacher. She is extremely sweet and checks in with her class constantly if they’re doing ok or if they need help. No one is scared to ask questions because she always answers them without making the student feel bad. Her students notice Emily visits a lot, and they can tell they have a thing for each other. Whenever they ask JJ about it, she neither confirms nor denies it so a huge conspiracy starts. She also teaches art and Garcia likes to visit a lot. The two gossip about all the other teachers, JJ fills Garcia in about Emily and Garcia fills JJ about Reid and Morgan. Sometimes, when Reid is out, JJ substitutes his music class. She likes to fool with Morgan when that happens.

Garcia is the mom of the school. Everyone loves her. She teaches drama and comp sci so she is loved by the gays and the nerds. She’s always enthusiastic and supportive and treats her kids. She’s very colorful and gives her kids candy or stickers if they get a question right or do something really cool in their assignment. When she visits Reid, if Morgan shows up she guards the door and keeps him out of the class. Morgan tries to charm her but she charms him back and doesn’t break. Once in a while she fails to keep him out and the class goes nuts watching the show. She’s also called a lot by Hotch because he needs help with technology constantly. Rossi needs help too once in a while but he just relies on his students or eventually figures it out. 

Principal Strauss is only seen in the halls once in a while. She monitors classes twice a year and all the students AND the teachers behave their best that day. Even Hotch seems relieved when she leaves the class. She makes announcements at the most inconvenient times. She is also the only one who enforces the dress code on students. Once in a while she asks what Morgan’s doing in Reid’s class and Morgan tries to cover it up and the class backs him up. Rossi’s class finds it hilarious when she’s talking to the class and he’s mocking her from behind, rolling his eyes and making faces. The students clearly know the teachers don’t like Strauss as they constantly complain about her. She calls Garcia’s games and prizes “distractions” and thinks JJ gets off track too much because she checks in with her class to much. The students that hate her the most though are Reid’s students, because she’s the hardest on him for no reason. They can tell by his behavior and can tell he’s drained every time she leaves the class. They tell Morgan and Morgan decides to start a yoga club for students and teachers to destress once a week. He personally invites Reid and that’s the only time the students see Morgan doesn’t mess with Reid. Garcia also offers free hugs to any student who needs one during the school day. 

Gideon is everyones favorite staff member. Everyone loves him. His door to the counselor’s office is always open and he always knows what to say to students that have trouble. He’s just very relaxing to talk to. Everyone respects him and even all of the teachers get along with him. He checks in with classes once in a while just to see how everyone’s doing, and sometimes sits in lessons to learn with the students. Sometimes he participates in group assignments. He’s also the only one who stands up to Strauss. He never get’s mad, he’s always calm and manages to talk sense into her. Because of this, she’s never mad at him. When she is, he doesn’t take it personally. He doesn’t go to the yoga classes, but makes sure student’s know about them. He starts the chess club and during the whole year it’s a competition between Gideon’s team and Reid’s team. The students keep track of the bracket thats displayed in the cafeteria and take sides, creating a large yet fun divide in the school. The students ask all the teacher’s who’s side they’re on each year and create flyers to root for each team. It’s also partially a fund raiser for the school to have extracurricular activities. The teachers give extra credit to any of their students who’s rooting for the same team they are if that team wins. Gideon also attends all of the sports games and musical performances.

Officer Elle is school security and most of the students are nice to her. She makes sure to break shit up if a fight breaks out and firmly advises kids to not drink or do drugs. She has PSA assemblies twice a year about security and health. She’s chill and likes to chat with students. She’s basically a badass and makes sure to put kids in their place who deserve it. She also teases Morgan because they have a history in working in security together.

Assemblies:

There are four assemblies every semester. Three out the eight for the entire year, Strauss forces Reid to present. She’s totally unaware that he has the worst anxiety out of all of them (and if he told her she probably couldn’t have cared less and given bullshit excuses). The students eventually catch on that Reid din’t ask to present based off his shaking hands and wavering voice. They also see the looks the other teachers are giving Strauss, who is unaware. Reid bears through it though and Morgan comforts him afterwards as Strauss is giving the closing statement. The student’s support Reid as he’s talking and try to make him feel better. Morgan makes jokes at him to distract him and the class plays along with it. Two of the other assemblies are given by Elle, two others are given by Strauss, and one is given by Gideon. However there’s one unofficial assembly held every year by the students (teachers are invited except for Strauss). At the end of the year the students compile a video of pictures or videos of funny or iconic moments of things that happened to the students or teachers throughout the school year. This usually includes crackhead moments during free time in classes, a kid secretly recording Hotch as he’s trying to tell a dad joke, Morgan flirting with Reid in front of the whole class, Reid’s students dancing in a Tik Tok with Reid (followed by someone recording them creating the Tik Tok), the hype for the end of year chess tournament, the massive pranks pulled by the teachers and students on April Fools Day, everyone’s costumes during Halloween, and so much more. One student brings a popcorn machine. Garcia brings candy.

Specific events:

Morgan crashes Reid’s class multiple times a week. The students look forward to it, because all Morgan does is flirt. He’d spit out innuendos that are somehow related to what he’s teaching. It’s the worst in music class. 

“You’re doing well with that fingering” “I’M PLAYING THE GUITAR”

“Hey Dr. Reid, how’s the blowing going?” Reid’s face burns red

“You really stroke the G well-” “GET OUT”

“For a drummer you don’t bang very well” *dodges drumstick*

One time Reid threw a white board eraser at him only to receive “damn you trying to rub me out?” which causes the class to roar.

The class goes crazy every time and someone is bound to be recording every time Morgan steps into the classroom. Morgan would also call Reid “pretty boy” on occasion and ruffle his hair, which Reid would fix right after. (Everyone knows he secretly loves it).

One day Reid gets his hair cut short with curls on top, but Morgan doesn’t find out till the next day. He also wore his glasses that day (which he does wear occasionally). The class started to silently freak as they filed in before the bell rang. When Morgan entered mid class his greeting of “Hey pretty boy” was cut short when he saw him. Morgan stood frozen for a good 30 seconds before Reid approached him (WAY too close) and says lowly “What we’re you saying?” Theres no response from Morgan, the class is trying to stay silent while going ape shit, everyones phones are out, it looks like their noses are about to touch when finally Reid steps away and asks the class “So, who can tell me the answer to number 6?” and just leaves Morgan there. The class tries to recover and when five minutes pass Reid looks back at Morgan (who hasn’t moved) and asks, “Hey Morgan, don’t you have a class to teach?” Finally Morgan snaps out of it and stutters “Uh.. yeah- I gotta… go,,” and leaves the classroom.

~ 

Spirit week is a riot.

It starts with Tropical day. Everyone dressed in a hawaiian shirt and wore a fake lei, even Hotch. Garcia gives out lei’s to everyone that doesn’t have one and Rossi gives extra credit to whoever dresses up that week.

Next is 50′s/Grease themed. Morgan went all out with his outfit, leather jacket and sunglasses included. Reid did not own a leather jacket, but he did grease his hair back and wore a white t-shirt which entertained his students. Hotch, along with his outfit, brought a comb and constantly combed through his hair throughout class. Garcia and JJ wore poodle skirts and JJ wore her hair in a high ponytail. Emily wore black leather pants, a polkadot shirt, and a red bandana in her hair with bright red lipstick.  Rossi just wore his helmet from the Vietnam war, and when someone called him out, his excuse was the war started in the 50′s so it counts.

Next was Lazy Wednesday, and the students (and Morgan) didn’t know how much Reid in a hoodie could affect them. It got to the point where one of the students had to call out to Morgan “You’re drooling” which followed by laughter from the class. Emily wore her snuggie and JJ and Garcia wore matching Pokemon onesies. Half of the students were distracted because Hotch was wearing a t-shirt and sweatpants.

Thursday was Disney themed. Morgan was, of course, Prince Charming. Every time he entered a classroom he overacted dramatically. Garcia decided to match by being his Cinderella and had her hand kissed by Morgan every time they passed each other. Rossi’s students had a field day with his costume. He dressed up as the toy seller from Toy Story 2. He got Woody and Jessie toys from Hotch’s son, Jack, and he was constantly eating cheese puffs. Hotch melted everyones hearts by dressing as Kristoff and bringing in Jack who was dressed as Sven. Every girl and gay almost had a heart attack from Reid, who was dressed as Milo from Atlantis. But the winners in the students book were Emily, who dressed up as Flynn Rider, and JJ, who dressed up as Rapunzel. They hung out in the halls in between classes, Emily winking at everyone who walked by.

~

With the good days come the bad. One year, Reid started getting these horrible migraines. He wouldn’t tell anyone, however, and kept teaching. Even Morgan asked a couple times if he was okay. This lasted almost two weeks, and then Reid had to lead an assembly that Friday. The migraines on top of his rising panic attack while he spoke to the students made him feel worse. He started to stutter and feel lightheaded, but Strauss said nothing. Morgan managed to hold on to him and finally told Garcia to take him into the hall. Thankfully Hotch stepped in and continued the assembly like he was presenting the whole time. After it was over, Morgan chewed out Strauss to the point where Emily had to hold him back. The students were confused as to what happened and theories started to spread as school let out. Morgan went straight to Reid who was sitting in a dark empty classroom with Garcia. Reid finally told him about his migraines and Morgan insisted taking him to the ER. The speculations grew when students saw Morgan leading Reid to his car with their arms around each other for support as they walked, Morgan comforting him on the way to the car.

~

Hotch: I'll call you

Reid: no wait-

Reid's phone: you are my dad YOU'RE MY DAD boogie woogie woogie

Hotch:

Rossi knows every word to Nicki Minaj’s Superbass and has been known to perform it while drunk and/or bored

Reid and Morgan made out once while playing truth or dare on the jet. They got really into it and it got wildly uncomfortable for everyone else. They haven’t spoken of it since and truth or dare is now banned

Prentiss plays the French horn and will not shut the fuck up about it

JJ always wins the 4th of July hot dog eating contest, with Hotch in close second

Reid eats grapefruit like this:

Hotch takes a Zumba class at the YMCA on Fridays and thinks no one knows. Everyone knows.

Morgan has a Tik Tok where he makes vlogs, self defense videos, and thirst traps. He has 2 million followers.

Garcia also has a tik tok and the only videos she posts are duets with Morgan in which she makes fun of him

Reid and Prentiss have a weekly thing where they get wasted and watch riverdale

Rossi is afraid of horses

JJ once got into a twitter war with Jennifer Aniston

Emily spoke in a British accent for three straight years when she was a teenager for no particular reason

Garcia habitually DMs Justin Timberlake on Instagram just to see if he’ll answer. He blocked her.

Hotch’s favorite movie is Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade and if prompted can and will recite the script from memory

The one time Rossi went to Disneyland, he rode the spinning teacups and promptly threw up

Once, Morgan and Garcia got drunk and got each other’s names tattooed

Whenever Rossi has a book signing, the rest of the BAU shows up and they go way over-the-top fangirling over him

JJ: Why?

Emily: I wanna wander around the office and play one to annoy Hotch

Reid: Technically, you don't need to know how to play it to do that

Emily: