#1 harpy the flagship of kalvaxus hater

so i'm of the opinion that her first album was very much early-paramore style emo music but she would aggressively correct everybody who referred to it as such and be like "it's rock actually". and lola embers would be like "i think we would have a lot easier a time marketing this as emo-" and she would be like "well then do it the hard way because it's rock"

couple of fantasy high doodles that i did while listening to them live! 

gorgug | aelwyn reading adaine’s thoughts | fig prestidigitate a diamond to save gilear

i feel like it's just such a gem when characters not only have in-text chemistry, but also have a whole narrative significance/character foil thing going on.

on one side, hating someone because you think they don't understand your sacrifice and lack of autonomy (because nobody could!), and then finding out they were born to be a cog just like you, seeing them start to accept it the way you have, and THEN having the chance to save them from that at the cost of either solidifying your own lack of autonomy or breaking down the very thing you gave it up to preserve, and (in some paths) going for it on instinct because no, not them, they're too hopeful and strong-willed for this, they can't give up, not like this

but then on the other side, always being the odd one out for wanting to live your own life and wanting to change the way things are, resenting the person who represents the corrupt bones of everything you grew up around and knew to be wrong, realizing you are actually trapped even more than you thought and (in some paths) having the person you resent be the one to try and snap you out of it and basically tell you that no, you are important, you were right, you matter? but also it's terrifying, because you realize the web you've been caught in was so, so much more complex and personal than you could've ever imagined, and you don't know if you are right anymore??

This piece was made for the SAVE POINT!, a d20 x video games zine created by gnomebud for the @d20zinejam.

You can support Dimension 20 Zine Jam and check out the 61 zines we made here. All proceeds from the sale of this bundle will be donated to the UN's occupied Palestinian Territory Humanitarian Fund.

as many of you know, the work we did for Avid was substantial. the music we made with him has been our lifeblood for the past several months as we have been reeling from the onset of a severe, life changing disability diagnosis that prevents us from working a typical job. music, video editing, streaming, and making our own videos are about all we can do. our disabling dissociative amnesia prevents the timely and reasonable learning of new skills. while we have been working constantly with a dissociative specialist to inch towards remedying this, we do not expect that we will be equipped to work in any other capacity any time soon.

the royalties we received from the music we made together with Avid were roughly 80-90% of our income on any given month for the calendar year so far, and they have helped us stay afloat while we have been trying to go through the rigorous and ill-equipped disability system.

putting all your eggs in one basket is never a good idea regardless, and the fears i had building for the past couple of months only further emphasized this. as such, i have been trying to diversify by engaging with streaming, trying to get my name out there for collaborative work in other SMPs, and reaching out to my creator friends for editing work. i really can't thank two people in particular enough - LeonSBU and NatureOfGaming - for providing me work as they have been able to afford and especially in Leon's case, getting my name out there for other SMPs.

unfortunately, the true extent of Avid's manipulations and lies were more than i could ever have imagined. the fact that my entire understanding of his intentions has been flipped in a matter of no more than 3 days feels like being hit by a truck. for full transparency, i am no longer in contact with Avid, but i did inform them that i was leaving the fate of our music in their hands. in the final messages he sent to me before i cut contact, he told me that he "would never cut [me] off financially". he told me he would never do a lot of things, so forgive me if i have trouble trusting this. regardless, the dropoff in listenership after what has been revealed will be substantial and immediate.

in the best case-scenario, i have a month or two left before royalties catch up to this dropoff, and will see consistent income for that time still. in the worst, i will no longer be able to afford my rent by the end of the month if he does remove the music and disable my royalty splits.

what i need is two things: i need immediate funds to fall back on in case things go poorly, and i need longevity. i have been so lucky to be surrounded by so many truly astounding and generous creators who have been willing to put my name out there for work. i am hoping this comes to fruition. i am already hearing from some about potential editing opportunities which is amazing. but things are still up in the air, and i need to be quick and smart. this is why i am doing something that my fans know i hate. i'm asking for help.

as i see it, there are three pillars to this. all the highlighted text below links directly:

immediate aid - if you have the funds to spare, buying our music on Bandcamp and donating to our Ko-Fi are methods of which we see the funds in a matter of days, if not instantly. this will help us build an emergency fund if worse comes to worse.

supporting our work - by spreading the word about our streaming on Twitch and listening to our music on streaming services such as Spotify, Apple Music, and YouTube (and any other platform our music is on), you provide a significant source of consistent income that we can rely on month-to-month.

word of mouth - talking about what we do and why you enjoy it is a surprisingly big help, because it helps us find connections for potential growth opportunities and commission work. additionally, letting people know we have a Discord and are the ones responsible for Avid's music in the first place not only helps us, but it helps the people who loved Avid's music know there is more out there from the person who made his songs possible.

i'm gonna level with you all. i fucking hate writing this. i feel like a beggar. i feel humiliated. these past three days of piecing things together have been some of the worst of my life, and having to once again ask for help is the cherry on top. since i learned about the truth three days ago, this has been constantly looming over me. everything else has been made crystal clear to me, so i at least know without a shadow of a doubt what happened. but with this? i'm terrified. Avid knew my situation, my disability, my reliance on our work together. he has left me in a truly impossible situation. i am taking it as an opportunity to double down on the work i was already doing and try to turn it into a positive. i hope that you all are gracious enough to help me make that a reality. it would really mean the world right now.