treat people with kindness

I mean.. I can’t deny that I wouldn’t do something similar to my roommate if given the chance. It is fuckin’ brilliant.

Please do, I would love to know his reaction.

You need to behave.

Or else what? Are you going to handcuff me?

… Klaus.

Diego.

Sounds more on you than the roommate. If I were in their position.. I would also be amused and wait for you to realize the fact that the plant never shifted position or changed color.

Hey now. In my defense I know shit-all about plants and how they work. I just thought I was taking really good care of it. 

Your roommate sounds like a cunt. A brilliant one, but a cunt indeed.

Take out the brilliant part, and you’d be right. 

Everytime I think you can’t get any more bizarre and oblivious, you go out of your way to surprise me.

What can I say, I like to keep the cute people on their toes. 

“nothing is too grand. i say do it.”

“Oh, I’ll give you grand, my friend. Don’t you worry about it.”

“ah, okay, we’re set then. you should add fireworks too, really make it grand.”

“How much is too grand if it’s fireworks and doves?”

“ah, well yeah, that’ll do it for you. glad you’ve realized it now, though.”

“Does it for me all the time. Don’t think there’s ever time where I’m just a little bit high or drunk.”

“ah, marvelous. make it a grand entrance, though.”

“Oh don’t you worry about that. Grand and fabulous are the only two ways I know how to make an entrance.”

“how - did you not notice it yourself? four months watering a fake plant? that’s a long time to not realize.”

“Because-- I’m either high or drunk when doing it.”

Seemes like they might not have known it was a fake plant either.

Oh he knew. He’s the one that bought it and besides, he started laughing when I figured it out.

Props to your roommate, that’s pretty funny

Funny for him, maybe. 

“I’ll come crash your funeral, kid.”

“sometimes i just think about how much i love my dad and think he’s the greatest but then i go over to the house to get some of the stuff i left over there and he’s going on about how lucky charms now come in packages that are just marshmallows…and i’m like…why? why is that so exciting?”

“Because the marshmallows are the greatest part of the cereal.”

That would be August..

...It’s not April anymore? Well, that’s a shocker.