i think we're alone now

Diego.

You need to behave.

What can I say, I like to keep the cute people on their toes. 

... Klaus.

Four months. That’s how long my roommate stood by and watched me water a fake plant. I am now looking for a new roommate. 

Everytime I think you can’t get any more bizarre and oblivious, you go out of your way to surprise me.

First a rhyme, now an insult? Keep talking. 

Anderson.. You need to get your fucking act together. One of these days I’m going to have to take you to actual jail. 

Aww sweets. You make up a rhyme just for me? How cute.

I didn’t think you’d be able to remember anything else.

“If you say so, man. So you’re a cop then?”

“I am, yeah. Feel lucky I’m attempting to warn you.”

“Isn’t it on them to be vigilant? As opposed to relying on me to not drink when it’s promoted as this super fun thing to do in a town with literally nothing to do?”

“I’m not saying they don’t need to be cracked down on. I’m saying you don’t need to continue contributing to the problem and if you do- there’s gonna be consequences.”

“Then they shouldn’t serve minors.”

“And you shouldn’t contribute to the problem. Which, if you continue to I don’t have a problem with arresting you.”

“why would I do that?”

“Because you could get a bar shut down if they’re caught serving to minors. You could also get arrested for having a fake ID.”

Apparently, it’s frowned upon to whip out a bottle of tequila and take shots while on public transport. Apparently, I am now barred from taking the bus for two years. It’s a blasphemy, I’m telling you.

Maybe try to avoid public intoxication while on public transportation. It rhymes, so file it away for anytime you’re out and you think about drinking.

“Bartender called my bluff on suing him for stealing my fake id last night. Guess I’m in the market for a new one. It’s a good thing, the picture on my last one looked like trash.”

“Or you could not drink illegally. That’s preferable.”