1-800-hot-and-fun

meet cute: it's raining and I see your battered bleeding body lying in the mud and I kick it slightly to see if you're dead

like literally how are you supposed to compliment people’s nudes. i end up saying shit like “glorious” and “marvelous” and “contender for one of the natural wonders of the world”

wags my stupid fucking tail. whatever

The best ship dynamic is actually just. "I love you and it terrifies me. I'm terrified how much I need you and how much I want you to need me. I'm terrified I'm no good for you and I'm going to hurt you and ruin you and I'm terrified of how I feel when you're around me but I can't bear to push you away completely because I'm terrified to be without you so now we're stuck in limbo and that's terrifying too. I'm terrified that if I lost you now it'd destroy me and I'm terrified that it's too late to do anything about it. I love you. And it's terrifying."

poly ship concept where a couple keeps getting divorced and remarried again on purpose because theyre both in love with the divorce attorney

important thing here is they could absolutely just ask the attorney out to dinner or something instead of divorcing over and over. it just doesnt occur to either of them ever. theyre fucking stupid

I need a boyfriend that I dominate and another one that dominates me but the one I dom in turn dominates the one that doms me. Like a Rock Paper Scissors throuple. Lol I don’t actually want this but it’s a funny concept to think about. and would heal the world

non-practicing slut. is this anythign

i am not a whore but i believe in their beliefs