Kitty is addicted

Chapter 6 is up!

Fandom: Heated Rivalry (TV) Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov Characters: Shane Hollander, Ilya Rozanov, Yuna Hollander, David Hollander, Svetlana Vetrova, Farah Jalali, Other Character Tags to Be Added Additional Tags: Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov in Las Vegas 2014, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Accidental Marriage, Fake Marriage, Sort Of, Outing, Found Family, Angst with a Happy Ending, Work In Progress, Other Additional Tags to Be Added Series: Part 1 of Inty’s Gay Hockey Boys (Heated Rivalry fics) Summary:

HOLLANDER AND ROZANOV IN SHOCKING VEGAS PHOTOS!

Star Players Have Yet to Issue Comment on Alleged Wedding Photos Leaked Online.

The photo below was of the two of them in their tuxes, with dopey, boozed-out, lust-drunk expressions on their faces. Rozanov’s hand was gripped tightly—possessively—around Shane’s jaw, their mouths inches apart, clearly about to kiss.

Rozanov’s hand had a wedding ring on it.

Also this? *Chefs kiss heart break*

Ilya only wants two things in the world – hockey, and Shane. How hard should it be, to get two whole things? But Ilya understands a fundamental truth of the universe, one he’s known since he was a tiny child: no matter what he might deserve, Ilya is not the sort of person who gets to be happy.

“Fuck off. You’re the only thing I’m gay for,” says Shane, and he’s trying to sound grumpy, but it’s such a delightful sentence to Ilya that he feels like he’s walking in the clouds.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/75380761/chapters/197057726

A year after mysteriously dropping out of the 2009 draft, Shane Hollander is signed by the Boston Raiders, right behind Ilya Rozanov. Having the two biggest stars in the league on the same line is great for Boston — but playing alongside their worst rival was never exactly in Shane or Ilya's plans. Especially not when staying away from each other starts to feel just as impossible as getting along.

Additional Tags:

Kurt Wimmer

/!\ spoilers /!\

I saw Equilibrium at the theater in 2003, and on DVD for the last time over 10 years ago, so I won't remember the details perfectly if at all, including many facial expressions. I'll review what left a mark. I went to watch that movie with my ex who had a very different take from mine and feeling from mine, the interest of dissimilar opinions increased post movie discussions.

We both agreed the movie was very binary in its themes and visuals, and while it didn't impress him and he really enjoyed the more action side of the movie and its visuals, it did me. I wonder today if the movie would be this interesting to me if it was too nuanced, I'll explain why.

Both the physical world and the emotional world are depicted in very obvious contrasting ways, the emotional and physical actually overlapping, and that's where the ambivalence actually started for me. The unemotional world in colorless, grey, square, neat, long large and empty spaces even when they're crowded, it's tasteless and oppressive with an authoritarian militia of systematic suppression, objects are only functional, it's supposed to be peaceful but it's fearful and anxious to watch. On the other hand the emotional world blossoms through bright and warm colors and physical expressions, the hidden place is small and cozy, objects are the opposite for fulfillment and pleasure. But these two drastically different worlds overlap and even collapse through the journey of John Preston.

While I didn't ignore the (background) physical story, that is the rebellion and liberation from dystopia and a higher religious entity, and the medium to the emotional journey, I couldn't help seeing the movie as a metaphor. That's also why I liked the movie, I'm a visual writer, I see footage in my head and words and more lexicons are a translation of what I see. And that's also what I saw, with the raw binary lexicons of colors and shapes representing the emotional state of the main character.

In the beginning of the movie a man reading a book of Yeats poetry, his own partner, showing emotions gets coldly executed by Preston and from that moment on to the moment when he breaks down in tears down on his knees, it's poignant and filmed so but the contrast to the coldness of that scene hit me in the guts, the transformation happens so that it's you (or just me? I don't know my ex didn't feel it at all), the viewer that is actually living that transformation through Preston. And this transformative journey isn't as binary and easy, it's mixed, it's hard, it's painful, he doesn't get there easily, it looks binary because it's terribly brutal and unconscionably overwhelming he doesn't feel anything at all before that. Scenes with the woman he falls for are an example of that, the yearning but the holding back in the overlapping emotional world but into walls where you are forbidden to feel, like emotional growth into a body that has become too small for it.

I'm sure you didn't miss that the injection to suppress emotions is called "Prozium" that made me think about Prozac, and yeah I'll admit it's kind of weird to take Prozac to suppress resistance to authoritarian religious ideology why maybe I still prefer to see the whole film as an emotional metaphor and the waking of a dream where not everything always makes sense. But the numbing from medication exists, and I'll take the metaphor of being dosed into ideology when there is only unique thinking left, until the awakening when you start having varied opinions and ideas (like reading Yeats), or here, emotions. The awakening is overwhelming, brutal, colors, rain, the sensations, rainbow, seeing how diversity is beautiful for the first time. From there he'll know love, pleasure, loss, anger, pain, grief and loses it entirely, it's a raw battle within himself, until he can accept these emotions and master them and that's how he wins, by knowing himself fully and not suppressing parts of himself he can be liberated and be the master of himself and of his decisions and his life.

To me, this movie was more complex than meets the eye.