its a church of burnt romances

im cool but i also cry a lot

i think there is something about people who were abused/neglected as kids that makes us embrace things that others consider monstrous. i dont think its a coincidence most of us like “creepy” animals like rats and crows. i dont think its a coincidence that we are the first to jump to the defense of “worthless” plants like dandelions. its why we get so attached to old toys and broken things. when you spend your whole life believing you’re not wanted, it turns you into a defender of the other unwanted things in the world. and you’re not just protecting them - you’re protecting the part of yourself that still believes you deserve to exist. just like they do. just like we all do.

You know what I hate about having emotionally immature/toxic parents? They don’t apologize for what they’ve done that is wrong. They don’t take responsibility for hurting you.. They just try to explain why it wasn’t their fault.

there’s a special place in hell for parents who act like their child’s mental illness isn’t real and they’re making it up for attention

If you wish your parents had hit you and left marks on you, it means they already hurt you worse than that and you only wish you had any proof. If they put you in situation where you wish you have been physically harmed, it means you’re already tortured beyond that. Invisible abuse is worst to fight with and hardest to prove. Them getting into your head and taking away your point of view leaves deeper scar than injuries could. You’ve already been abused bad enough.

i- okay fuck

there is a point in your depression where you just give up on getting better but you still won’t kill yourself. you just float around in this state of nothingness and don’t notice anything around you because you’re just so numb and you just don’t want to do anything about it anymore

One of the worst feelings ever is being in your own house and feeling like you need to go home.

i feel like the fact that self-harm/cutting can be for some people a literal addiction is not talked about enough. if you self-harm in any way you’re honestly often labeled “emo” or some dumb shit like that, but it can manifest itself as an addiction, just as one can be addicted to substances. etc. idk. i just think it’s important that more people know and that this is talked about :/ for some people, you can’t just “stop” cutting. it’s not that easy.