Kisu :3 ♥

Let me clarify: this isn't about blocking. The block button is a useful tool for curating one's fandom experience and I believe its usage is essential for protecting one's mental health. Blocking, in my experience, creates fewer problems for both parties in the long run.

What this is about is how a small, but prominent group in this fandom treats others: the insults, the slanderous accusations, the way they backtrack and/or get defensive whenever they are called out on their reprehensible behavior in private. It's about the pot-stirrers desperately clinging to the coattails of the aforementioned for the validation of being on the fringes of a BNF's attention.

And if we look at the post going around, you'll see that this isn't simply that group against my friends—who, by the way, never deserved this kind of treatment in the first place. This is a fandom-wide problem. And if this were a blip where someone went off while they were having a bad day and spouted a bunch of stuff they regretted, I probably wouldn't say anything. Eventually, we all say stupid shit we later regret. However, when actions become a pattern, then it becomes a problem. And I say this as someone who has been professionally diagnosed with about half the DSM-5—to constantly hide behind one's mental illness instead of taking responsibility for hurting others is unacceptable, immature behavior.

I realize that when they get shown a screenshot of this post, nothing will change. They’ll get angry, post a rebuttal about how they were the victims all along and how people are just jealous, as usual. Their friends will enable them, as usual. And then the pot-stirrers will come along to leave anon hate in people's inboxes to fan the flames, as usual, because what else would instigators' sad, unfulfilling lives be without the drama? But no, this isn't about jealousy or blocking or any of that. No, this is about straight-up assholes who need to grow the fuck up already—if not for the sake of the most basic of human decency, then because this behavior will absolutely guarantee your greatest, darkest fear: that you will wind up all alone in life.

As for the rest of the fandom: sit and watch carefully. People always reveal their true selves eventually. So watch carefully. Who seems to start something every other week? Who treats others like garbage in public channels? Who throws tantrums when things don't go their way? Who constantly makes their personal problems everyone else's problem?

Whatever the answer to those questions is, even if you feel that I fall into that category, watch and then curate your experience to your personal needs. Unfollow, mute, and/or block anything and anyone who makes you uncomfortable, if you feel the need to do so. Life's way too short to let a select few ruin something that's supposed to be fun in the first place.

In spite of the current climate, I have actually found Cyberpunk on the whole to be one of the most chill fandoms I've ever been a part of. (Granted, weathering the Dragon Age fandom circa 2013-2015 might cloud my judgment a little here.) Although to be real: I'm also probably lucky that my blorbo of choice wasn't ~*claimed*~ by anyone, which has allowed me to create and vibe in peace.

But I will say when I "joined" last summer/fall, when I was basically a loner doing my thing, before I even knew most of my CP friends or any cliques or spilled tea, I got Bad Vibes™️ from certain parties pretty quickly. I generally prefer to give people the benefit of the doubt, sometimes at the expense of ignoring my gut instincts, but eventually, I felt like first impressions were accurate and I have maintained my distance.

I've participated in online fandom communities for over 20 years--While every fandom will have its unique flavor of drama, you eventually start to spot the troublemakers from a mile away. People who can't share their toys but still expect to be a part of a broader community, people who surround themselves with yes-men, people who crave validation to an unhealthy extent, people who insist their friends like and dislike the same community members they do, people who prey on other fans who are susceptible to manipulation, etc.

I felt relatively safe from all this behavior: I know what I like and what I'm about, I'm confident in my niche, and I met some really cool people I'm happy and honored to call my friends now. But I noticed over the past few months that almost every single one of them had a story about being wronged one way or another by this particular group. I also noticed that in spite of the hold this group seemed to have over fandom, a lot of people, directly affected or not, seemed to share a lot of the same concerns I had just weeks into the fandom. But everyone was afraid to say anything.

And I think to some extent, for good reason: callout posts and going public about ~*fandom drama*~ is a whole ass thing. They can often make things worse, they can often further divide a community, they almost always put the person doing the calling out under a microscope. Victims will have their valid concerns and legitimate experiences with harassment be dismissed as "clout chasing" or "just being jealous" while the perpetrators often just double-down on their behavior. It's scary and can feel futile to speak up and disrupt the status quo, even if the status quo sucks.

People will also be told "this should be handled privately." I do think a lot of things can and should be resolved privately, and I generally advocate this as a first step over going directly to callout posts. However, this requires both parties to have an investment in reaching some kind of reconciliation--I get the sense that this point has long passed. (Incidentally, it also requires being able to talk to someone privately, which can't be done if you block 80% of the community. It's pretty disingenuous of a person to say "this should have been handled privately" if they've removed that as an option.)

The exact goal of a callout post can also be muddied. Toxic in its own way, even. Yes, sometimes it is absolutely about trying to run people out of fandom. I can't honestly say I've never thought "this community would be better off without so-and-so." I have. I've probably said it, too. But at my core, I also genuinely believe in people having an opportunity to learn from their mistakes and be better. I don't think people who have been wronged need to stick around for that personal journey and I think a part of that journey might require taking a step back from a community, but I do understand the discomfort of witnessing (or experiencing) what feels like mass ostracization and retribution.

But in this particular situation, I think the greatest takeaway is that people who felt isolated are realizing they are not. The fact that so many people have come forward to share experiences that have been burdening them for months I think speaks volumes to the damage that has been done here. I also think trying to reduce this hurt and trauma to "clout chasing" or "being jealous" is not only reductive but perpetuates this harm.

And the last thing I'm going to say about this is really more criticism of CDPR than the fandom, but I feel it's still relevant since the two are rather entwined at this point.

Since witnessing the way David Gaider's behavior with fans contributed to a lot of wank in the Dragon Age fandom ten years ago, I have felt very strongly that it's important for the well-being of both parties to maintain a certain distance.

This isn't to say that they shouldn't interact at all or that there shouldn't any kind of community outreach--I have personally done some very cool things, like going to E3 (back when that was still a thing), as a result of an excellent community program from another franchise--But devs not on the community side (who are probably better equipped to handle things like the effects of parasocial relationships) can really run the risk of disrupting the already fragile ecosystem of a fandom, even with the best of intentions. I believe that has happened to an extent here as well, and I would just caution devs and fans alike about respecting the need for some boundaries.

I don't really have a clever little summation for this, so I'm just going to end with a screenshot of my Duolingo lesson for today being far too relevant because I honestly got a good laugh out of it: