Kirstquad's

I'm a fussy eater / a picky eater / I have a narrow dietary palate... whatever you want to call it! I don’t have ARFID and I know it’s First World Problems in that I get a choice about what I eat and how I like it. I am just sick of having to explain to other adults that I just don’t like all foods but am not like a 5 yr old who will only eat French Fries.

For example - French Fries, Chips, Chippy Chips, Potato Wedges, Potato Waffles, Hash Browns, Tater Tots and Small to Medium Sized Roast Potatoes - YES!

Boiled Potatoes, Potato Croquettes, Duchess Potatoes, Baked Potatoes and Mashed Potatoes - Just No! The texture, the taste - it all makes me gag and shudder even thinking about it!

I recently had to make a list of all the foods I like and the cooking methods for friends and family alike as they couldn’t understand my “rules”. Such as tomatoes are fine - unless they are gilled or cooked whole - withstanding that they are fine as a sauce - but I don’t like soup!!! I didn’t choose to be this way, I don’t enjoy going to fancy restaurants as an adult and having to order the Chicken Schnitzel, Burger with only Cheese and Salad - hold the pickles and sauce, an item from the kid’s menu or a couple of sides to make a “Fake Tapas”. I don’t enjoy the fear of being invited out and the restaurant not having an up to date online menu. I don’t enjoy missing family weddings because they are having a traditional wedding breakfast - with no options. At 36 years old I am still trying new foods and new methods of cooking them in order to make them more palatable and less disgusting to me! But certain foods I will never like and I just want people to understand that! I don’t want to have to explain to people “I just don’t like the taste or texture of any Mashed Potatoes, no matter how you season, mash or butter them.” to have them look at me like I am crazy or like I have suggested I will ONLY eat live puppies!

I want people to understand that whilst they might only have a dislike for Marmite, Surströmming, durian, olives or cilantro - my list is a lot longer and I have the same visceral, disgusted reaction to a lot of the things on my list and that I simply don’t want these foods anywhere near me, in my mouth or as part of my diet!

Decided to write a little blog post of ideas of how to Escape Christmas without any of the “Oh just enjoy it” and “It’s only one day!” bulls**t!!!

Having spent the last 10+ years happily doing everything I can to escape Christmas Day on my own and all the Festive filled days leading up to it with all it’s attachments and trappings - Carols, Tinsel, Christmas Dinner, crappy gifts.. I thought I would pull together a list of things you can do, places you can go and ways in which you can spend as little time having to be tainted by Shitscram!!!

I’ve topped the list for the things I do personally and then followed up with other’s ideas or suggestions.

To start and to ensure no-one expects me to be at theirs for Christmas day or to take part in anything - I simply announce ahead of time to all on my Facebook that I wont be partaking (again)!!!

Most people understand, I get one or two new friends who try and convert me, but hey always fail *Mwhahaha*. I originally had push back with some family members, but when you remind them that you can see them at any point during the year, you still love them and that you find this time of year incredibly frustrating and un-enjoyable usually they just let you do you... But that will also depend on your family and their personalities and how you interact with them. Thankfully my family is quite small and I am very headstrong, so they all know once I’ve made my mind up there’s not much stopping me - and I think all of them can see how much happier it makes me NOT to have to deal with the enforced fun of Christmas.

I try and take a suitable about of days off in the lead up to Christmas so I can avoid Christmas Meals at work, do one large shop as far in advance for Dry goods, foods I can freeze and as I can and find out the nearest corner shops that open on and around Christmas for basics and fresh stuff so I don’t have to deal with the THRONG of shoppers out getting their gifts and pretty much board myself in from Dec 19 - Dec 29th!!! This works well when you live alone, if you live with family, partners or friends you can either ask them to join you in festive-less-ness, arrange with them to visit their family / friends or make suitable arrangements for them to be understanding and let you have your own space during the glitter filled month.

And then I settle in and watch films and TV series on DVD (Thankfully I don’t have incoming TV so don’t have to deal with adverts), do DIY and craft projects, pamper myself, eat nice food, plan for the year ahead and just try and spend the time relaxing as much as I can until it’s all over!!

Below is a list of all the things I’ve found other’s have suggested or do as the above may not suit you!

Stay in

Watch Films / TV series on DVD / Netflix / Amazon Prime (Avoids Christmas Adverts)

Do a Craft or DIY project

Pamper yourself

Plan out fun things to do for the year ahead or research those hobbies you are thinking of for your New Year’s Resolutions

Do life admin

Look all over the internet for the things you want in the Boxing Day sales and bookmark them for the next day

Read books - maybe rent a few titles from your library, treat yourself to something new or download an e-book or two

Do puzzles

Write to family and friends in far off palces - people still love getting hand written cards and postcards

Write that Blog, Poem, Story, Complaint letter you’ve been meaning to for ages

Create a Blanket Fort / Nest

Try your hand at a craft or arty hobby using internet tutorials or books

Bake that thing you have been putting off trying - you’ll have all day!

Play video games / computer games

Clean the House from top to bottom, throw out any stuff you don’t need or want any more or put it in a charity bag

If all else fails, the internet definitely has a lot of tubes, playlists, forums, blogs and videos you can delve into to keep you entertained

Go out

Walks - When the weather is chilly, but dry cool winter walks and snowy ambles are quite pleasant in the countryside where there are less people - just make sure you wrap up warm!

Photography - A lot of places will be completely empty and if the weather is good it might be a nice time to get some snaps of your favourite monuments, sights, landscapes with little to no people in them!

Gym it - Some gyms - like Puregym are open Christmas Day!

ParkRun - A lot of places around the UK (and the world) Run a Christmas Day Park Run - it may not be an escape from it as many dress up - but it is a Free Timed 5k at 9am to get you up and feeling fresh

Road Trip - If you have a car and the means (and the roads aren’t perilous) you could pack up some sandwiches, soup, hot drinks and take a little trip to far flung pretty places - you are guaranteed to be pretty much the only one there and that the roads will be a lot emptier. Again wrap up and keep safe!

Cinemas, Skating, Swimming and more - In past years more and more places are opening up specially on Christmas day - I recently went Ice Skating Christmas Day and some cinemas and Lidos are open on Christmas Day. Ripley's Believe It or Not! and Body Worlds at the London Pavilion are both often open Christmas Day if you live in the Capital! 

Do for others

See if there are any charitable projects you can get involved in at Christmas - when most others will be with their families.

Help out at an animal shelter

Arrange a visit to an old folks home to give them some company if their family cannot visit

Offer your services at a Soup Kitchen or other place where those who have no-where to go at Christmas can find something to eat or a place to stay

Far Flung Places away from Xmas (*)

Kerala, India - Take a step back from the madness back home and instead set yourself up on a sandy beach in Kerala – temperatures top 32 degrees in December so you can guarantee you’ll be toastier than your friends in front of the fire back home. Varkala, a vibrant beach set beneath strikingly colourful cliffs, is one of the places to be in December, whether you want a scenic stroll or that enviable Insta. For accommodation, why not spend your days on one of the iconic houseboats and enjoy life cruising on the water. And if, after all that relaxing, you fancy an evening out, make the most of the carnival in Kochi which runs until 31 December – stick around for the finale on the last day to see an impressive traditional procession. (*)

Laos, Asia - The country with only around a 2% Christian Population is mostly a place where you can easily forget the commercial nature of the season. Laos is also a poor country and while tourism is growing, it doesn’t attract the sort of numbers as two of its neighbors, Vietnam and Thailand, in which western traditions might be harder to escape. To avoid the trappings and excess of the season and reconnect with the world, opt for Luang Prabang. Here, you’ll have no trouble replacing Christmas lights and gifts with Buddhist temples and mountainous spirituality. (*)

Mauritius, East Africa -  With a mostly Hindu population, the traditional Christmas celebrations are kept to a minimum in this slice of paradise. Just make sure you travel home before New Year as this is when prices start to rocket. Hire a car so you can cover more of the island – driving from the north to the south of the island will only take you just over an hour. While away the hours at the beautiful Pamplemousses Botanical Gardens, then drive up to the northern point of the island to Grand Baie where you’ll find sheltered sandy beaches and glistening blue shores. Then make sure you drive down to the east side to experience the coral reefs in Belle Mare. (*)

Morocco, North Africa - December 25 and 26 are normal working days in the Muslim city of Marrakech, Morocco, so popular tourist sights and businesses are open as usual. Go shopping for spices, slippers, leather goods and brass lanterns in the souk; soak in the atmosphere of the Djemaa el-Fna square by night; or take a stroll around the exotic cacti at the city’s Jardin Majorelle. (*)

Namibia, Southern Africa - Regularly topping lists of Africa’s safest countries, Namibia is the perfect place for your first safari, and travel in December to enjoy the height of summer here. You’ll spot all manner of wildlife in Namibia’s national parks – the best is Etosha – from lions to leopards and elephant to giraffe. It’s an easy self-drive destination, with good roads and little traffic, and the joys of a road trip here include stopping off at roadside shacks to buy snacks and interact with local tribespeople. Don’t miss a trip into the desert – the Namib is one of the oldest and driest in the world – to see the striking petrified trees of Dead Vlei set against the giant, burnt orange dunes. You can climb the world’s highest dune if you’re feeling adventurous, or from the coastal city of Swakopmund, you can see it all from above in a small plane.(*)

Sri Lanka, South Asia -  If you want a sun-soaked, fly-and-flop break, head towards Hikkaduwa in the south west, a two-hour drive from the capital Colombo. Here you’ll find sandy beaches, and a great spot for snorkelling and surfing, especially at this time of year. Look out for giant turtles who hang out by the shore in the daytime too. From here, take a day trip to the quaint, historic town of Galle and see the Galle Fort, built in 1588, then venture onto Yala National Park, which hugs the coastline in the south east of the island. Combining affordable safaris and an abundance of wildlife, you have a high chance of seeing elephants, crocs and even the mysterious sloth bear - not a Reindeer in sight! (*)

The Maldives, South Asia - With an almost entirely Muslim population, you can quite easily avoid Christmas in the Maldives – and as an extra present for you, temperatures can reach up to 30C. White-sand beaches, clear turquoise waters and general paradise-inducing bliss are the obvious reasons you should head here on December 25, but there’s more to this incredible part of the world than that. The Maldives have some of the best diving and snorkelling conditions in the world with sites such as the Ari Atoll regularly attracting schools of huge fish and even whale sharks ­– not a bad way to spend Christmas Day, eh? (*)

Zanzibar, East Africa - The island of Zanzibar conjures many an exotic image – its blend of African, Indian and Arabic cultures have mixed so well you’ll likely never want to come back from this paradise on earth. The small island has an eventful history, from invasions, slavery and revolutions to the birth of Freddie Mercury. Yet an atmosphere of calm sweeps in waves over the sandy beaches and chilled-out markets. Spend Christmas Day snorkelling in turquoise waters or wandering the souks through merchants selling fresh seafood, hand picked mangoes and headless chickens. For a more extensive break, twin a trip to Zanzibar with the beginning of the Serengeti wildebeest migration in Tanzania. (*)

Rent a little cottage in the middle of no-where for a few days - This way you can be completely disconnected from the rest of the world and it’s Christmassy-ness and repeat some of the “Stay in” Section above - but away from those who might want to “Turn up at your doorstep” and try and convert you back!

After sitting at my desk today for many hours thinking about the pointlessness that is my job and knowing that unfortunately I need it to survive in this world, my mind turned to those who do not even have that privilege. Those who are jobless, homeless, starving and all the other ways in which members of the human race are disadvantaged.

Instead of sitting there ignorantly thinking “Well I’m glad that isn’t me” my thoughts are drawn towards the fact that I feel I can do nothing to help them or myself.

So I look up some the self-help articles in attempt to handle my thoughts and my emotions.  This further enraged me as one article said to “Relax.”, “Allow yourself to be distracted.”, “Dial back your news consumption.”, “Continue to participate in life”, and finally (And most offensively) “Take Action.”.

If I knew how to take action would I be looking at the self-help article in the first place?

The suggestion that I am circling the drain with my negative thoughts, critically over thinking everything disgusted me!  How can anyone allow themselves to relax or be distracted from the injustices in this world? How can I continue to participate in my “normal life” if others can’t even if their’s?  I also feel grossly under informed about the issues of today already - taking a step back I would have to become a hermit. I don’t read the newspapers, I don’t watch television, I don’t listen to the radio - a lot of my knowledge about news comes through my friends and family which I then investigate myself. I feel that if I did partake in reading every outlet of the news every day (which I feel would be the only way that I would be properly fully informed about the goings on of the world) I truly would by swirling negatively down the drain of despair!

Lastly – with regards to “Taking action”, I feel that anything I do would not be enough, that all my hard work could so easily be undone by those seeking power, money, fame or those expressing nothing but vile bigotry, hatred and worse. Unfortunately, I do not have the genius miracle brain to be able to solve all this world’s problems. Instead I am told simply to “chill out” to “relax” and “calm down” – like I am some crazed psychopath for suggesting that this world, this society, that humanity is nothing but rosy and wonderful! I am not denying that this world this life has many wondrous and incredible things in it but humans are fucking most of that up, fucking each other over and for what?

And I am told that getting on with my “normal life”, ignoring the inequalities in this world and living blissfully ignorantly is the normal way to think and do things?

Who, pray tell, is to determine what is normal thinking? I assume that it is based on the general populace, however many of them are stupid, ignorant, blissfully so, and trapped in their own bubble of isolation from all the world’s problems and issues and the problems and issues of others if they do not affect them. This was one of the reasons I stopped going to my counselling sessions. My counsellor would ask me to explain things which I struggled with in the world which I found problems with in the world, and when I explained them to them I just kept thinking to myself “Why am I explaining this to you when you are applying your life your experiences, your values and your way of thinking to the way that I think about life and trying to apply your or the NHS’ prescribed level of normalcy to it”? What if I do not want to think normally what if I want to critically look at the world the way the world works challenge things instead of blindly following what you or society thinks?

Furthermore, with so much of normalcy being decided what the general populace, also known as society, thinks I question that as an odd way to look at the world because society changes its mind every 5 minutes.  Why aren’t the thoughts and ideas other every one being taken into account?  When it comes to something as divisive as normalcy why isn’t everyone being listened to? Facts and science can clearly prove only so much, and I’m not getting religious or spiritual here, but I do question why things such as making vast amounts of money, whether you get married, how many children you have things like that are considered the norm and why people cannot just live their lives without fear of mockery, intolerance and hatred.

100 years ago what society believed to be “normal” is completely different from what is considered to be normal today, which leads me onto my next question – why is it even desirable to be normal?  If everybody was exactly the same, though exactly the same, looked exactly the same, acted exactly the same society in general would get nowhere. Society would remain stagnant, progress would not be made, some of the greatest scientific discoveries of our time would have never have come to be if everybody thought and the same.

I despair at society today, at humanity today, the focus on the importance of monetary gain above progress, advancement, free thinking, and more disgusts me.  A person’s value should not be based on what they can earn, who they marry, how many children they can produce. Tradition should not be blindly followed “just because”, all individuals on this planet should be free to experience the fullness of life everything that this world, and maybe even, in the future, this galaxy or universe has to offer. Instead people squabble over resources, money, land, the pathetic hierarchy that is class -instead of embracing their differences and working together to create a better world, a better life and to experience all this brief period we get in this vast expanse allows us.

And people expect me to be quiet, to continue on with my normal mundane life as if this isn’t some incredible gift it’s been given to me that I feel like I am wasting every single day.

That is never going to happen and I will always question things, I will always challenge things I will always try and use every single neuron in my brain to think of ways to improve the world, the lives of those around me and my own life. The human race cannot continue like this, something needs to change, everyone needs to see there is a more to life than what they are being presented with the.  I just wish I had the intellect to be able to bring it into realisation or to at least find those who can – every day I do not feel like an effect this change and grow more weary, and distance myself further from humanity and lose hope.

Proper existential crisis today bought on by lots of little things!

Late for work.

Forgot my Step Brother's Birthday card so all the gumpf I bought with me to wrap his gift (arriving at an amazon locker near work) is for nought.

Forgot my gym kit so now cannot go to the gym and get fit / healthy / slim / fitting back into my clothes. I hate dieting with a fiery passion!!! Life is supposed to be about experiences and fulfilment and enjoyment (Right?) and instead I'm having to deprive myself of things I actually enjoy to eat shit I don't care for!

It's raining.

I hate this job and I have to write my PDR and all I want to write is "I hate this job and have learnt nothing of merit and don’t want to learn anything here I just want to leave and actually LIVE my life"!!!

I didn't wake up beside my partner this morning because he lives 30 miles away and we don’t drive.

There are no jobs to apply for in the area between me and my partner in which my skills apply, or my house can continue to be financed.

Also I started looking at moving fees for when I finally get my house done made me even more frustrated. On top of saving and spending money to make my house sellable, I'll have to save even more just to sell the damn thing and of course move - looking at £6,000 - £10,000 just to sell my shit tip.

I grab moments of happiness with my friends, family and my partner but knowing I have to go to work and trudge through that 37 - 40 hours a week (not taking into account travel) doing nothing fulfilling or enjoyable  

It's just so soul destroying! It takes so much away from your time actually ENJOYING life! So many people live for their weekends and their holidays, some live from pay-cheque to pay-cheque, some barely can feed, clothe and house themselves - not to mention those in third world countries or those who are homeless - it makes my soul ache!!!

I should feel "lucky" but I don't I feel ANGRY!!!

It shouldn't be that way!!!

I hate the fact that our society is built this way,

It shouldn't be about money and working until you die! We get such a short amount of time on this planet,

It should be about enjoying everything life has to offer - for everyone, not just those who live in Capitalist well off countries!!! And we have to spend so much of it work, doing vapid useless stupid things. Wasting our money on things we don't need, but society tells us we NEED!!!

Also, the amount of hate, bigotry and conflict in this world just adds to it!!! Why can't we all be accepting and just bloody be nice to one another!!! There is no need for Hate, in this short time we have you want to spend it being a hateful, racist, homophobic, transphobic, bigoted, war mongering person? WHY? There's so much more!!!

I can see why people gamble... Even in the privileged position I am living in a country like the UK, with a roof over my head, good health, family and friends and a job … I want out!!! My friends want out! My family wants out! We want a way out of the shit that is trudging through this daily fucking grind and onto something better, more fulfilling, more worthwhile and money seems to be the only thing that gets stuff bloody done! People who are worse off must feel like it is literally their only way out!

I am holding back tears at my desk! I'm just so frustrated by life! I'm so conflicted right now! Worrying about my own life and how I am going to get to where I want to be / need to be ... whilst also wanting to save the fucking world!

And the worst of it is I know nothing I can do will make a BIT of difference!!!

me: who is this any guy you speak of, bring him forth