approaching aphrodite

(This picture literally defines this blog plus it’s kinda cool.) 

Welcome to the end, friends! Today's post is a bit more of a sappy final reflection about this blog and what this author has accomplished on it throughout the semester. Yes, there are so many girl power and feminist blogs bombarding every realm of the internet and we all should actually celebrate that fact more often. Posting about tampons, body insecurities and rape culture may hardly seem like revolutionary things but hold up a hot minute . . . they kinda are. Women have not always had the freedom or the courage to openly share their voices and opinions with other women about womanhood and femininity. If you feel like it can seem obnoxious or irritating to see so many women examining issues, concerns and ideas pertaining to their gender, then you have to remember that women haven't always had the luxury to speak up in the past. Social media and blogs like this can seem so overbearing about women's issues but that's because we're making up for lost time to practice self-examination. 

The 20’s were a roaring period where women cut their hair short, made ankles look sexy and took their sexuality and individual expression into their own hands. This kind of autonomy caused quite the cat’s meow (aka riot) back then because ladies were typically meant to be seen as dainty little angels. This time frame of individuality isn’t too far off from how women take control of their expression of femininity today. The 21st century has been both a success and a suffocation for women’s rights. And oy, just listen before you go, “Wow, feminist propaganda strikes again!” Hallelujah that we don’t live in the 50’s today or the 18th century. Sexism and female empowerment has definitely come a long way since those times of women not being able to work, have control over their bodies, sexuality, or education. Seriously, the fact that most women in today’s western world have the choice to make their own decisions is enough to make this author want to give everyone a free car out of joy like Oprah. (Of course, that being said, there are so many women in third world countries who are still facing sexism which is an ongoing battle. Western women do have privilege and this blog acknowledges that.) In 2019 western women are forthright about their sexuality; music videos, social media, writing, hookup and dating culture, and clothes and makeup all symbolize that pride of enjoying sex and enjoying who you are. Heck, Doja Cat—a black singer—released a song called “Juicy” which is about embracing all types of lady’s booties. People in the 50’s would’ve had an aneurysm about hearing about butts sung by a woman dressed as a sexy cherry. Beyond sex, women have been able to talk strongly and honestly about their experiences with femininity and redefining what it means to be a woman in 2019. Petite, tall, fat, skinny, black, asian, single, married, queer, straight, young, old, educated or stay-at-home mother. All of these labels are less derogatory than they used to be. If anything, they’ve undergone a change of ownership—women shape these words to fit who they are instead of having society assign these words and a specific connotation to them. 

If a woman decides to raise her voice or argue a point about what it’s like to be a woman it’s not something to be ridiculed. That doesn’t mean every point is outstanding or logical but the conversation about womanhood is something that is never really over. It’s a history that must always keep evolving and is never static because people are never static. We don’t just stay the same; no fashion trend or piece of news is always identical or doesn’t change. Today we’re still talking about topics like racism, sexism and sexual orientation and yeah, those conversations can seem changeless but they’re not. So many different points or contentions about femininity has been raised in the past couple of decades and even in 2019. For example, transgender women and their status in society as women is a topic that is specific to this decade because transgender rights have emerged as an important part of this generation.

 Specifically with this blog, it’s been wonderful to show how different women in college each have their own distinct and personal relationship with femininity and on navigating how to be the woman they want to be. There’s not particularly a right or wrong way to be a woman—it’s all subjective. Some women on this blog have similar feelings about issues and some have very different opinions. That’s wonderful. That should be something we should be over the moon about. Thinking for yourself is the most invaluable thing anyone can have regardless of gender. This blog has been a very satisfying if not liberating way to see womanhood through other women who are on the same journey of education and self-discovery like the person who is writing these words. I hope you’ve managed to take something out of these discussions and contemplate your own relationship with the women in your life or what womanhood can mean to you. Discussion and listening is the only way anyone can have a meaningful conversation and create openness with others opinions. Anyway, thank you for reading this blog. You rock. Also, remember to stay cool, sodapops!  

CONTINUED: 

One of these strange things that society is not necessarily okay with but pro-life people support is children having children—that if a girl in high school gets pregnant, then she has to have the baby. Someone so young having a child can be a positive thing—a lot of young mothers are great, but there’s also some young girls who are not ready to take on that responsibility. They haven’t had time to grow into who they are as a person. Adoption and abortion can be solutions to this and those options should be respected since it’s the woman (or in this case the girl) carrying life for nine months. It’s not a male issue. Yes, men are a hundred percent responsible for creating babies (they are the carriers of the sperm train), but that’s as far as it goes physically. Additionally, Maggie said she hates it when couples say that they’re pregnant because the man has nothing more to do with the pregnancy but watch it play out. 

“Acting like the husband or man is doing something really amazing by supporting his wife while she’s pregnant,” Laura said. “Wow, congrats for doing the bare minimum.” 

Ok, this blog is not about hating on men as you may associate feminist blogs to do. Men are involved in a child’s life and that’s something special. What Laura and Maggie do point out is that it can seem wrong to make a man out to be a hero or on the exact same level of pregnancy as the mother. Men do not know what it will ever be like to carry a child, so maybe it does seem a bit egotistical to take credit for the pregnancy or overpower the mother’s journey with it. But that doesn’t mean that men shouldn’t be allowed to be happy and excited for their child and to do the best that they can to be prepped for fatherhood. It seems there might just need to be a line of accountability for where a man can overstep his role.  Now, Laura said another toxic part of society’s definition of motherhood is that there can be an expectation that women fulfill their role by having children but, in the process of being pregnant, a woman is considered to be nothing.

 “In some cases, women can actually be discriminated against for being pregnant,” Laura said. “And as a mom of children, you have nothing. You have no life or personality outside of your children and I think that’s messed up because I thought I was doing what society wanted me to do?”

 She said that for the amount of time a woman is pregnant is that society and men can just consider her a vessel for a baby and not a person anymore. Now, that can sound very harsh and maybe a tad black and white but it’s an interesting point to ruminate on. Pregnancy announcements are a big event for women because society encourages you to be proud of having a child. Hey, having babies is a good thing but it’s strange to see how baby announcements have to be a very social spectacle. Everything changes once that announcement is made; a woman isn’t asked how she is anymore but how the baby is. People don’t view a woman as who she was before but who she will be to her child and that’s something that doesn’t get talked about a lot. Alright, next week will be a little reflection about the happenings of this here blog and what’s been covered so far. Thanks for reading and stay cool, sodapops!

Fair readers, hope you’re doing zesty and fine! Now, maybe it seemed inevitable that with all the topics we’ve discussed on this blog about womanhood that pregnancy would have to come up at some point. This is a hot topic issue among women today, even going so far as to pit women against each other based on what opinion they hold. Since this a very complex issue, they’ll be two posts to help equally explore the subject’s depth in addition to not overwhelming you with so many microtopics at once. So, to begin, pregnancy is a wonderful and beautiful aspect of womanhood. Being able to create life is a gift and it not only serves its purpose in repopulating the earth but is emotionally and psychologically significant to a woman. Everyone’s heard the saying that women and their children share a very close bond because, well, nine months together is pretty cozy. Society and culture depict women loving their children a lot which is perfectly exemplified in Mary, the Mother of Jesus. She’s the ultimate mother figure in an essence since her love for her son transcends his godliness and humanity—its eternal and selfish. Now, there’s also another reason why bringing up Mary in relation to motherhood is so vital: religion. It’s fair to generalize that Christians and Catholics in particular have very passionate notions about a woman’s role and how that is linked to giving and looking after life. According to these religions having a child is one of the most important parts of a woman’s life. A way to interpret this is that when a woman’s life is more than just her own then she is truly fulfilled. It’s something that these religions advertise freely in the bible, church, Sunday School and in practicing Christianity. This expectation of bearing children is intrinsically bound into society’s interpretations of womanhood and religion seems to have had an influence on that. That being said, a lot of women have different feelings about having children. It’s hard to say whether this is just a generational thing; younger women may want to stay single longer and work on their careers or self; others may want to settle down early and have children younger. This all runs full circle with the motif of choice that this blog has linked to modern femininity and womanhood. 

Laura, a TSU Senior, said feminism should be about choices and people not disrespecting the choices a woman makes or saying she’s less than for them. When asked about how she feels about motherhood, she said she could be ready for it someday but it’s also perfectly okay if she decides she isn’t. This is definitely a more neutral and maybe common reaction to motherhood that young women have. So much is going on in your life—school, work, first loves, developing an identity, meeting people—that bringing a baby into the world isn’t a priority yet because you’re your first priority. Now, on the flip side, Maggie, a TSU Junior, said she has a very negative opinion of pregnancy and often feels sorry for women who tell her that they’re pregnant. 

“Children are terrible. They’re expensive and, for me personally, the end result is not worth it,” Maggie said. “Also, the amount of pain you have to go through to get to the end result is something I personally don’t even want.” 

This is a very extreme opinion but again, neither opinion from either woman is entirely wrong or right. It could be easy to look at Maggie’s opinion and wholeheartedly agree or disagree but it’s integral to keep in mind that she probably has her own experiences or reasoning behind why she feels this way. Children are very expensive to take care of and motherhood is a full-time job. Really, there are no breaks or vacations. A parent is a parent for life unless you shirk that responsibility (which isn’t a great thing at all). Some people are not cut out to be mother’s. It’s not a bad thing to say. Some women know and others don’t find out until they have a child. Maggie talked about this a bit further when she said she can understand why pregnancy is a necessary thing for people to exist but she thinks there’s a lot of weird social connotations that surround pregnancy.

TO BE CONTINUED

(Part 2 coming in the next post!)

The most iconic uni brow: Frida Kahlo!

A modern counterpart: Sophia Hadjipanteli.

G’day, you snazzy reader! (It’s always nice to feel welcome.) So, there’s been a slight change of plans in regard to the topic of this blog post today. There’s no need to hold onto your bosom in panic—there will still be a discussion post about pregnancy and childbirth. That’s definitely still happening. However, it might be fun to do some brain poking and talk a little bit more about women’s beauty standards which was illustrated in the hairy maiden picture from the last blog. 

The easiest thing to do when we see something different from what we know is to immediately reject it—our minds and hearts don’t want to take the effort or might not be brave enough to know how to translate this new idea. Take Sophia Hadjipanteli’s eyebrows for example. They’re a little more than bold—they’re bushy, not plucked and are two continents that have joined together to become a brazen icon of hairy divinity: the uni brow. For a lot of people seeing a woman with a uni brow is a visceral moment, one where they might think, “Eww! She should pluck it! She looks like a man!” or “She’d be so much prettier without so much hair!” And it’s not like Sophia doesn’t know this. Her Instagram is flooded with hate comments from online trolls about her different appearance and yet she still doesn’t pluck when doing so would help put her on a pedestal of perfection within society’s standards. She’s very pretty and a model, so it would make sense for her to want the public to adore her because beauty sells. We all look up to beautiful people because we all secretly live vicariously through their met galas, chiseled cheekbones, voluptuous lashes, and flat stomachs. There’s nothing wrong with thinking that certain women who fit the ideal standard of beauty are beautiful because they are. If anything, it can seem like perhaps we as a people need to better work to reprogram ourselves to be more open to the idea of the “other.” 

Feminine beauty is such a wonderful thing because it shouldn’t be restricted to one notion. Anne of Green Gables was red-headed, freckled and more stick than little lady yet the people of Avonlea came to adore her. Heck, Gilbert Blythe, the most dashing lad in school, actually fell in love with her. Anne and Sophia Hadjipanteli have something in common: their beauty was unique and therefore their differences made people retrain themselves on what beauty could be. There’s so much pressure on women to be everything all at once—smart, stunning, witty, charming, sexy and successful—which we’re all led to believe is tied into the way our breasts hang, how pleasant our faces look and how pretty and smooth our skin appears. That’s exhausting. Reading all of that is enough for anyone to want to take a Xanax or to find a good cave and seclude themselves into sanity again. 

Being confronted by something so in your face as Sophia’s uni brow can be unsettling for a lot of women since it can feel wrong to see a lot of hair on a woman. Men can feel the same and can make it more of a test of sexuality—more hair on a woman equals her being less attractive. (Of course queer and bisexual women can think this, too.) The notion that a few extra hairs or a whole kahuna of hair on a woman’s face could make us feel uncomfortable seems silly. It’s outdated and ridiculous but it’s that instinct of repulsion that most women still have to fight against because society has told us that our body hair is something to be ashamed of. Well, Sophia chooses to fight back against this stigma because she sees her beauty as her choice—her appearance is another extension of her expressing her authenticity as a person and she has control over that. “I choose to wear my eyebrows this way for the same reasons I styled myself in school—because the only preference that matters is my own.” In the end what matters is that she has grown to love a part of herself that makes her happy. She doesn’t grow out her eyebrows to please anyone but herself which leads to the most important journey every person is on which is self-love. It’s less about the physicality of hair but what significance we perceive to exist behind the hair. Shame, laziness, pride or self-expression. Hair is hair at the end of the day but our positive or negative reactions to people paint how we think their hair best represents them. 

Lastly, let’s discuss the hypocrisy of body hair that exists within masculinity because it’s very similar to the pressure women feel. Some men like to shave their bodies; they just feel more confident or comfortable that way but instead they can be subject to ridicule for it since it can be perceived to make them look less masculine. And then there are some men who give Sasquatch a run for his money yet women dislike their hairiness since a buff shaved chest just seems more attractive to them. Men’s body dysphoria isn’t as talked about as women’s but it’s just as present. It’s something that’s definitely easy to overlook and forget but again, this blog is to help stimulate your mind and to consider all points of view.  At the end of the day we should all reexamine why we feel the way we do about someone who chooses to love themselves in a different body language than ours. 

Anyway, stay tuned for a discussion about pregnancy and more womanly perceptions! Stay cool, sodapops! 

https://www.glamourmagazine.co.uk/article/sophia-hadjipanteli-unibrow-model-changing-beauty-conversation

https://www.stuffmomnevertoldyou.com/blogs/the-only-place-in-the-world-where-women-covet-unibrows.htm

As a change, there won’t be a poem about hair for this blog (been there, done that), so instead this image will hopefully help you think a little bit about the topic we’ll be talking about. This is Sophia Hadjipanteli: she gives Frida Kahlo a run for her money and is a representative of women being a lil’ hairy and loving it! Take some time to look at this picture and see how it makes you feel. What’s your initial reaction? Good or bad? How does she redefine beauty? Is she beautiful?   

Ahoy there, reader! Yes, the last time there was a post on this blog dinosaurs did indeed roam the earth but now you get to read all about lady hair-care opinions, so get ready for a bit of a “bush” walk! As discussed previously, body hair and shaving for women is an individual choice and all that matters is that a woman feels the most comfortable in her skin. It’s a pretty rad concept but, like anything in society, it can get complicated fast. Two of the lovely ladies that were interviewed for this post brought up specific instances were they’ve seen or experienced shame or pressure from society to remove their body hair. 

Laura, a TSU Senior, said her mother has always told her to shave since she believes that body hair on women can be a hygiene issue. Laura said she thinks it’s strange that her father is allowed to be covered in hair but her not shaving all the time is an issue. Isn’t taking a shower good enough to keep the stanky away? It’s odd but believable that this rhetoric of shaving comes from her mother because women are just as indoctrinated into societal norms as any other group. There are obviously a lot of factors involved in why a woman may believe something about femininity like age, time period, how they were raised, etc. Laura went onto say that her mother only tells her to shave select parts of her body like her legs or underarms which is confusing because why be so selective? This is just a theory but women have generally been regarded in society as the more visually appealing gender. There’s that quintessential idea of female beauty—long hair, full lips, big breasts, and smooth, naked skin. So is that why women may focus on what can be seen—like armpit hair or leg hair—because erasing yourself of hair can bring you closer to reaching a vision of female perfection? Or does it pertain to pleasing the gents? Does becoming more naked mole rat than woman solidify that a guy will find you more attractive because he’s the only one with the hair and masculinity is rooted (get it?) in how abundant your body hair is? These are all questions to ponder and give your brain some food for thought. While her mother has said nothing about her eyebrows or arms before, Laura said she has commented since high school that she thinks Laura needs to bleach her mustache.

“Why would I bleach it? What is that going to accomplish? I just prefer to not have a mustache, so I just get rid of it. It’s not fair to get onto me about shaving when my Dad’s looking like Big Foot over there,” Laura said. 

Again, that’s an example of a choice which is perfectly valid. While there’s a whole paragraph above about how women can be oppressed by society to shave, there’s also nothing wrong with wanting to feel a little smoother. If some of your hair is annoying, then it’s fine to say adios (and that goes for men, women, or anyone else). Women shouldn’t necessarily have to feel liberated about body hair but should feel at ease with what they can’t help but have. Comfortability is really what’s important here. Some ladies hate having hair on their legs and some don’t. All that matters is letting young girls know that whatever they choose is fine but that their decision shouldn’t be influenced by what a guy says or what Aunt Patricia says at Thanksgiving after a few drinks.  

Another topic that relates to female body hair is shaving down near a lady’s private parts aka the vagina. If anything, shaving down below can have even more of a stigma for women than shaving anywhere else. Laura said she didn’t even know about the concept of shaving off pubic hair until she was in high school. Kaley, a TSU Senior, said she doesn’t mind trimming hair in the nether regions but it’s something she would only do if she was seeing a guy. Ingrown hairs can be a problem, Kaley said, as well as developing a rash, bleeding, and accidentally cutting yourself. One of the bigger issues is that for some women it can feel like body hair on the vagina can be a deal breaker for a relationship or a hookup. But how much of that can you blame on men? 

“Half of that opinion isn’t even their fault, though. I can go out and wear shorts and I would feel so uncomfortable and guys probably wouldn’t even see my body hair at all. It probably wouldn’t cross their mind that I feel so gross,” Kaley said. 

She does bring up a good point that a lot of this desire for hair-free women is something that young boys are raised to idealize. Television, social media like Instagram, models and celebrities cater to making women look effortlessly glamorous and goddess-like. Young girls eat that up just as much as young boys do, so why are we blaming men? There’s so many answers to that but maybe it’s again because men can be regarded as hypersexualizing women . . . but aren’t they raised to do that? That’s not to say there isn’t responsibility for a person’s words and actions but it can be useful to see why a guy might make a rude comment about a girl’s arm hair. Tap into their psyche a bit. If a guy isn’t raised with the notion of body hair being a normal thing for women, how is he meant to know any better? Laura said she doesn’t shave as often and her boyfriend is much more accepting and comfortable with her body hair, so much so that he’s surprised when she shaves it. This is not only a good example of a guy getting used to female body hair but it’s a nice way to enforce the idea that your partner doesn’t get to tell you what to do with your body hair. 

Well, this discussion on hair could go on forever because it’s endless but this author needs to wrap up. Long story short: let’s all just be understanding and accepting about shaving or embracing your inner lady bush. Soon we’ll be talking about children and giving birth—what do some young women think about motherhood? Is it yay, nay, or meh? Thanks for reading and stay cool, sodapops! 

Do you know who’s born with no hair on their bodies and lives a life of sentient smoothness until death? The naked mole rat. Women, however, are born with body hair which should be fine but its existence can apparently be a problem. Why is that? If you think about it, why should there be any pressure to remove a part of ourselves that is so accepted in the opposite sex? Does being perfectly hairless much like our blind, ball sack friends mentioned above really benefit women? But is it such a crime to want to indulge in the desire of having smooth skin? When it comes to body hair, trying to determine what sense of physicality is most emotionally and socially healthy for women is a tad tricky. Here’s some history to help open your thought noggin a little. (The link to this information will be at the bottom of this post if you’d like to check out this source!)

The idea of a woman shaving her body, particularly her armpits, legs, and neither regions, started to gain traction in the U.S. in the 1950s. Prior to the beginning of the 20th century, body hair on women wasn’t something undesirable or completely disgusting. There was hair removal but the focus was more on facial, neck, and forearm hair and not on the legs, armpits or neither regions. Listen to this: a young woman in the 1920s accidentally cut her leg shaving and it became a major national story in the U.S. It’s not like she lost a leg or anything, but it was foreign to society for a woman to go bare on that part of her body. This act in itself was revolutionary for women everywhere because of the d word: duality. Basically, a way of looking at this one big shave for womankind is like trying to walk on a tightrope. Confused? Ok, so it’s all about focusing on what you want to do with your identity—what kind of womanhood is right to help authenticate your body and, therefore, assist you in validating who want to be. A woman don’t have to walk that tightrope—no, she’s the one who gets to choose if she wants to take those trembling steps. Society is all around her, sitting in the seats below, watching with hope, munching on cheap popcorn, maybe even readying itself to boo. If she takes a step is she making her way towards her doom? She could very much fall below into the crowd and that would be the end of her. Or can she stride with her head held high towards emancipation? Can she hold her focus in looking ahead at what she wants and not at the crowd below? If you’re a bit lost with this jargon, then that’s okay. This whole convoluted metaphor is this blogger’s way of saying this: a woman should only have the right to decide what to do with her own body hair. She’s the only person who can decide what makes her happy and, ultimately, what is best to help her be the best version of her self. 

Really, the idea of shaming her or praising her for hair follicles doesn’t really matter in the end because what’s truly important is what makes her comfortable. Subjectivity is a universal concept but its not a shared intimacy. Every person has their own opinion, and, as hard as it can be to grasp that at times, it’s something we all need to get better at listening to. (Now, agreeing is a different matter entirely but listening is the best way to understand.) If she wants to shave because it feels cleaner, she watched her mother do it, or her legs just look better, than kudos to her. It’s her choice. Also, the same goes for the vice versa. Let her rock hairy armpits; may her leg hair flow majestically as the fall wind hits the bottom of her pants, revealing hair that salutes with the confidence of a soldier. The bigger issue here is that society should be able to throw us options but we shouldn’t feel pressured to choose what doesn’t call to us. To shave or not to shave? On the upcoming fourth blog post, you’re gonna get a treat! Some fantastic women will be sharing their opinions about body hair and their own personal endeavors and experiences with deciding if shaving is right for them or not. Until then, be cool, sodapops!

Sex Education Class by Vanessa Kisuule 

The concept of shaming women for their bodies and sexuality isn’t anything new but that’s precisely why its relevance should never be extinguished. This fire of humiliation isn’t born inside every girl but unfortunately is often stoked to life through different sources. Puberty is already awkward enough—sprouting boobs, new feelings arising, the crimson tide saying hi every month, etc. It’s a jungle of awkwardness, frustration, insecurity, and excitement for people on whatever gender spectrum they fall into. Being curious about your body is a completely natural and normal feeling and yet most women struggle with embracing the exploration of their bodies. Tiffany, a twenty-two year old Truman State University student, said she was always curious about her vagina as a child. “Like, when you feel “down there” occassionally when you’re taking a shower. I’d be like, “Oh, that feels kinda nice” but I was so confused. Should it feel nice? Like, is this wrong?” Tiffany’s reaction of wonder and discomfort about exploring her vagina isn’t rare—many young girls go through the exact same experience . . . which is problematic. Sex education in the United States, abstinence or comprehensive lead, does teach children the names of their genitalia, but there’s no reassurance or discussion of getting to know your body. There are different reasons behind why this could be the approach for institutions or even parents: religion, sexism, or social propriety. Yet, it’s messed up to realise that most young girls (and boys) have to find out about the inner workings of puberty and the response of their bodies by themselves. Tiffany said she didn’t even know what the clit was or what it could do because her sex education in high school omitted that piece of information. She doesn’t know why they don’t talk about the clit but it might because of it representing female pleasure. You’re free to roll your eyes and go, “Incoming feminist-snowflake answer alert,” but it’s not a crazy speculate that maybe society, sexism, and religion have contributed to stigmatizing female pleasure. “I definitely feel more comfortable about my genitalia now than I did back when I was younger,” Tiffany said. “It wasn’t until I got to Sophomore year in college that I really felt comfortable with myself. I just stopped caring about what society thinks [about women and their bodies] because ultimately it really doesn’t matter.”

 Laura, a twenty-one year old fellow Truman student, said she never looks at her vagina, even as an adult. Her christian background ingrained into her that masturbation was a sin and genitals were only for the use of procreation during marriage. Laura said she feels uncomfortable looking at her vagina and has only ever seen her own. That’s mind blowing. Guilt and shame have no place in a sex education program and certainly shouldn’t be attached to a woman’s body. There’s nothing productive that can come from shaming young girls discovering their bodies. Not a single thing unless you’re wild about feelings of hate, self-loathing, anger, embarrassment, STDs, and high school pregnancy. American history is such an important part of education—knowing how the country you live came to be. So, why shouldn’t young girls know about the history and future of their bodies? The skin they’ll be in for the rest of their lives (unless they’re transgender). Sex education needs to be revamped to include a unit on the clitoris, masturbation, and letting young girls know that there’s nothing wrong with them. That it is okay to play with your body and to know that masturbation is a normal, healthy human activity.