Real Menās Journal Part 11
SUBJECT 56 PERSONAL JOURNAL
COACH came back today. Heās not MY COACH anymore, but he is still a COACH. He put us through the ringer. Mile run, pull-ups, weights, you name it. Course, we crushed it. Me nā the bros. My BIG MUSCLE bros. Just kept calling me bro so much, I let it go. Too much work tryinā to tell em my name, ya know? Weāre all in this together anyways, so weāre all bros.
Coach brought some newbie. Said weād be put against him for our tests. Wut wuz the guyās name again? Brook? Wookie? Uh ⦠Rookie? Yeah, Rookie. Think that was it. Wish heād just get a number. Numbers are easier to remember. 100. 56. 13. You know. Numbers. Numbers are better to remember. So uh ⦠does that mean theyāre better than names? Maybe? I guess. Hard to think. So hard to think. It hurts. I just wanna BLANK OUT. LET GO. Forget about that stupid test.
What test? You know, the one with the numbers and all the hard questions on science and shit. It was so fucking stupid. I told COACH so when I turned it in. He just laughed! I wanna punch him in the face so bad. The jackass. I just wanna hit and keep on hitting and bashing and tackling and wresting and ⦠and ⦠fight. Itās good to fight. The more I fight, the clearer my head. Donāt have to think. Just let it all go. And ⦠I feel good when I do it. Like Iām GROWing. Getting SWOLE. Have to go. Time to fight. Then we lift weights. The others said something about a special surprise. Said Iād enjoy it. Doubt I will more than my bulge. Or my muscles. Just canāt help but FLEX and grin a STUPID grin every time. It comes so easy. Just FLEX and grin and BULGE and SWELL. Canāt hold back much longer. Gotta fight. Wrestle. WIN!
BIG FUCKINā ROOKIE (You know it)
āSup, bros? So yeah, I took that test COACH told me to take. He had me sit in front of some screen first, just sorta look at it while it flashed in my face. Said itād help me fit in more if I uhhh ⦠rewrote my language synapses? I ⦠think thatās wut he said. Hell if I know. I just LISTEN like a good JOCK, like a good ROOKIE should. A ROOKIE LISTENs to his COACH and letās face it, thatās what I am to COACH. Iām his ROOKIE and heās my COACH. I like it that way. Makes things simpler. DUMBs things down. DUMB. Yeah ā¦
Uh ⦠wut wus I saying again? Been spellin kinda funny lately too. But COACH says I have to act the part. Just like the rest of them. So uh ⦠yeah, I been doinā that. You know, spying and all that. Collecting STATS. Making GAINS. Getting SWOLE. Every once in a while, COACH has me watching that screen. Every few days. Keeps me FOCUSed. FOCUS on the screen. FOCUS on MUSCLE. Iām watchinā it now, actually. So easy to just BLANK OUT and LISTEN as I FOCUS. FOCUS on GROWing. FOCUS on the screen. FOCUS on words. FOCUS on SPIRAL. Flashing. Swirling. Down. Down. Down.
Yes, sir. Write what I say. Write what I see. Repeat.
Love my MUSCLES. Yes, sir. MUSCLES are good. MUSCLES are great. MUSCLES mean everything.
Everything GROWS. BIGGER MUSCLES means BIGGER BULGE.
Yes, sir. I love my BULGE. Love my MASSIVE, MANLY BULGE. Want to make it BIGGER.
Everything GROWs. I FOCUS on GROWing. Everything goes into my body.
Put my brain into my body. Yes, sir. Brains go to MUSCLE. Brains go to BULGE. Brain turn to BRAWN.
I donāt think. I OBEY. I donāt question. I OBEY.
COACH says FOCUS on sports. COACH says LOVE sports. I OBEY COACH.
Yes, JOCKs love sports. I love sports.
JOCKs love MUSCLE. I love MUSCLE.
JOCKs love bulge. I love my bulge. My MASSIVE, MANLY BULGE.
JOCKs OBEY COACH. I OBEY COACH.
JOCKs LIFT weights. I LIFT weights.
JOCKs get SWOLE. I get SWOLE.
Yes ⦠JOCK. Becoming a JOCK.
JOCKs work out. I work out.
BIG COACH. Makes BIG JOCK.
COACH turn me. COACH make me.
COACH turns me into JOCK.
COACH trains me into JOCK.
BIG ROOKIE wants to be a JOCK.
BIG DUMB JOCK as DUMB as rocks.
WEIGHTS and MUSCLE fill my head.
Iām BIG FUCKINā ROOKIE. Old doc is dead.
BIG shot doc to BIG FUCKINā JOCK.
BIG ROOKIE will practice.
Will remember nothing when I wake.
Lights out. Time to sleep. COACH says. Iāll tell ya about the test later. Night, BROs.
āSup, BROs? Been a few days. Hard to write when thereās so much PUMP to get on, ya know? Been hanginā out with my new BROs. We do everything together. LIFT together. PUMP together. TRAIN together. TRAIN with COACH. They donāt talk much. Hard to get em to start. But Iām gettingā used to it. Better at it. They like to flex a lot. Talk about their MUSCLEs. Admire their BULGE. Hell, I get in line with them, start to pose, I lose track of time. Watching my PUMP. My ABS. My fucking HUGE six-pack. My SWOLE biceps. ⦠My BULGE. My MASSIVE, MANLY BULGE. Straining my JOCK strap. GROWing BIGGER. Feels so fucking good. Uh ⦠wut wus I talking about again? I forget. But ⦠I donāt mind. Huh.
Bin growinā like a fuckin badass last few weeks. Feels so good. I feel ⦠younger. So fucking heavy though. I could totally take anyone. Been thinkinā bout wrestling. Guys do it all the time. 56 is champion right now. Think Iām SWOLE? Bros, heās a FUCKING GIANT! Every time Iām near him I just sort of ⦠BLANK OUT. I come to, weāre lifting. Heās spotting, and Iām rock hard. I smile. I donāt know why. He just looks dazed. His BULGE GROWs. My BULGE GROWs. And we both just smile. Iām still smiling. My BULGE is still growing. So much pl ⦠pl ⦠uh ⦠canāt think of the word. Just ⦠feels good. Real gud. Fuzzy up top. Getting fuzzier. But ⦠I like it.
I wus gonna tell ya somethinā. Uh ⦠lemme think a bit. Hard to think. SO hard. So fucking hard. So horny. All the time. Gives me an edge when I work out. I love working out. Love to GROW and SWELL my MUSCLES with my MASSIVE, MANLY BULGE. Built like a FUCKING tank.
Took a retest for COACH. Said the results were lost. I was pissed, but COACH said I had to to avoid suspicion. Test was so fucking BORING! I just stared at the page and I couldnāt concentrate. Couldnāt stop thinking about the GYM. About that PUMP surging through me. So much. Made it hard. Hard to think. Do I ⦠even want to anymore? I donāt know. ⦠Donāt know anything.
I wus gonna tell ya about that test, right? The first 1? I did pretty gud on it. Guys were jealous. Got out of the test early. I fucking crushed it AND the fitness exam. Wus a little harder first time, but retest wuz E Z. Exercises were nothing. COACH says I did gud. Makes me happy. COACH just laughed. The others. Guess I know how they feel now. BROS belong in a GYM, not a class. Desks are too fucking small. Felt too close. No room to stretch. No room to FLEX. How do those nerds stand it? How did I stand it? I donāt burn fucking bunsons, I burn calories. Gotta get SWOLE with my MASSIVE, MANLY BULGE. Each time I say that. Each time I write it. My head feels fuzzier. And I want 2 wurk out.
Spellingās not 2 gud anymoar, but thatās O.K. BROs donāt mind. Donāt have a mind. Iām a BRO too. So ⦠I donāt have a mind? Let me ⦠th ⦠th ⦠fuck, headās all fuzzy. Gotta ⦠canāt ⦠LIFT. Gotta LIFT. So DUMB. Canāt do nuthinā else. Wonāt do nuthinā else. Just LISTEN to COACH. LIFT for COACH. OBEY COACH. Cause Iām a good JOCK boy.
SUBJECT 56 PERSONAL JOURNAL
I am the fucking KING! Aint no one can touch me. They try, I WRESTLE them til they SUBMIT. Every time I win I feel BIGGER. BUFFER. SWOLE.
My BROs respect me. Call me Q.B. Even get to help Lilā BROs adjust. Plug em into their ear buds nā listen with āem. They donāt mind so much after the first time.
Iām so fucking HUGE. Love my muscles. My bulge. Just posing in front of the mirror. Workinā with the new guys. This one guy, Rookie, heās pretty legit. COACH said heās been traininā on fast track. Dunno Y, but I canāt stop traininā with the guy. Build him up. Make him SWOLE. BIG nā DUMB. Just like me. I didnāt like it at first, āspecially when I failed COACHās test. Then I got used to it. Just sorta went numb up there. Numb nā DUMB. Hey, thatās catchy. COACH says my I.Q. is down. I say screw I.Q. Who the hell needs it?
I want 28. I want Kevin. I miss him. COACH sez Iāll see him again soon if I TRAIN real hard. Sez heās WEIGHTing for me. WEIGHTing at the final phase, whatever the fuck that is. COACH sez weāre nearly there. Meān the team. Got some more shit 2 watchān listen 2. COACH sez we graduate after phase 3. Then we gotta choose sumpthinā. Final play, I guess. Days have bin hard 2 keep track of. We moved to underground. Donāt see the sun much. Donāt really wanna anymore. Iām actually pretty happy here. Thingsāre smooth, like my reps. Get up, shower, LISTEN to COACH. Scan. Eat. Wurk out. Zone out. JOCK out. Showur agen. Scan. Eat. Wurk out. Listen to COACH. Eat. Showur. Scan. GROW. Sleep. Repeat.
Balls itch so much. More I scratch emā the bigger they feel. That fucking weight between my fucking legs, like a bull, BRO. A HUGE fucking bull, ready to charge. Smash. Beat. FUCK! Headās so dizzy. Can hardly rite. Barely reed. But ⦠that donāt matter much, does it? Iām fucking HUGE. I do wut I want. But uh ⦠wut do I want? I ⦠I donāt know anymore. Donāt know. Donāt know anything. Just ⦠weights. Clacking. Clanking. Wrestling. Grappling. Fight. Burn. GROW. GROWinās gud. GROWin BIG. BIG balls. BIG dick. BIG bulge. BIG MUSCLES. BIG me. BIGgur is DUMBur. And Iām fucking MASSIVE! A MASSIVE, MANLY MAN with a MASSIVE, MANLY BULGE. Canāt wait for fase 3. COACH tells me I want it. COACH sez I need it. Need to be a BIG DUMB JOCK. Need to OBEY. Want to OBEY. Want to be a BIG DUMB JOCK for COACH.
Huhuhuh. Funny word, DUMB. Makes my mouth feel all teengly. Sounds funee 2. DUMB. DUMB. So fucking DUMB. All I become, so fucking DUMB. Time to scan. Then I wurk owt.
āSup. Over seven feet tall now. Weigh like ⦠fucking four hundredār sumpthinā. Owtgrew my clothes. COACH gave me nu 1s. Thair sooper tight. Cling to my banginā bod. COACH sez I luk gud. COACH sez I should lyk em. Ges I do. They make me feel gud. Tingly. COACH even put my name on it. 56. In fucking HUGE numburs, lyk me. COACH sez he was real happy wen I wrote it on his test. Dunno Y he made me take it agen, but he wuz happy so thatās all that maturs.
I look like 100 now. Like my BIG BRO. It made me smyl. COACH sez Iām gonna make it BIG in sports. I believe him. I just wanna LIFT n GROW n wrestle n tackle. Feels so gud wen I do. Like a real man. A real JOCK. COACH sez Iām so gud, he wants me to help the noobs. So I bin doinā that. Bringinā shakes nā helpin them lift. You know, make āem my lil BROS. Make em TUFF. Make em BUFF. Get em SWOLE. Bring out their iner JOCK. COACH sez I gotta make em all like me. Some try 2 fite. I just put emā in a sleeper hold, TACKLE emā to their bed, then plug in their headphones. They try 2 pull em out, so I hold their teenee toothpick arms 2gethur. LilāBROs struggle for a bit, then they just sorta go limp. The rest of the lilāBROs join me nāwe chant with em. Takes a time or 2, but the lilāBROs come round. They start 2 listen to their COACH. The rest happens cuz they see they want it 2. LilāBROs get SWOLE, like me. GROW that MASSIVE, MANLY BULGE. Donāt need ta think with the JOCK in control. Just LIFT. GROW. Get fucking SWOLE.
COACH sez Iām a fucking natural. All my BROs look up to me. I lead em in everything. In the showers. LIFTinā weights. OBEYing COACH. Just followinā orders, ya know? Donāt need nuthinā else.
COACH sez time for football. Canāt fucking wait to SMASH those fucking pansies to dust. The nerds call me Supreme Ky. I told em the nameās gay, asked em to call me Super Ky instead. They got into it after a few uh ⦠persuasions from me nā my fist. Give em a few throws nā they fall in line real quick. I love knocking the nerd outta them. They call me Q.B. Then they bulk up. Then theyāre with us in faze 2 with our MASSIVE, MANLY BULGE. Learning to OBEY the playbook. And LISTEN to COACH. Have to go. COACH is calling. COACH sez report now. Sure thing, COACH. I OBEY. Iām your JOCK. Iām your Q.B. 56 reporting for duty. 56 is part of the TEAM. 56 is yours. Letās play some fucking ball.
MASSIVE, BURLY, BIG DUMB JOCK.