I don't know what this is ahhhh
Yeah. Nate has a whole lot more words spinning in his head that's not facinating, but he's a bit speechless, because first of all, he didn't really expect the pentagram and the changing to actually work. He's a little high on caffeine right now and his hyped up mind thought it would be better to attempt to summon a demon than to go on tinder.
Yeah. He summoned a demon alright. But he didn't summon just any demon. No. He summoned the demon. Satan. Lucifer. Beelzebub. Red demon skin, horns, hooves, snake tongue and all.
And he brought hellfire with him, caught his basement on fire. How thoughtful.
"This is truly facinating," Satan says and Nate can only stand there and gape at how normal the guy sounds. He was expecting, like, a British accent at least but he sounds American, and it's not all deep and growly. It's almost gentle. Nate supposes that makes sense, he used to be an angel or something after all.
"Your work is truly facinating," Satan says again waves his arm around the room, the fire going out immediately. Nate blinks and suddenly the horns and red skin is gone and he's looking at a man that looks oddly like Ryan Reynolds. Satan bends down and runs a finger over the lambs blood Nate had painstakingly painted into a pentagram. Don't ask him where he got the blood. "You made this character here too long, changing it's meaning. You've successfully accidentally summoned me. Facinating."
He stands up and Nate snaps his gaping month shut. He doesn't know what to do. This is Satan. Like. Evil, powerful, banished from hell Satan. How... What does one do when they meet Satan? For a second, panic fills him because he feels like he needs to do something, but he's too shocked and terrified to do anything and dear god (man, please be listening) is Satan going to murder him if he doesn't do anything????
"Ah, you must be speechless," Satan says, eyebrows coming together and his arms folding across his chest. He's wearing a gray suit with a pink tie and Nate doesn't know why he focuses on that.
May as well look at the oddity that is Satan before he's burnt to a crisp. If he must go out, might as well go out thinking about how nice that pink tie looks.
"You wanted to summon one of my minions and instead you got me, so your tied tongue is quite understandable," Satan says rubbing his chin, "I suppose I should help you, after all you summoned me and we might as well get this over with. Don't want that lambs blood to go to waste, don't we? So, let's start. My name is Lucifer, King of Hell, yada yada you know this, what do you require of me, Nathan?"
His hand is holding out towards Nate in an it's your turn now gesture and Nate has to take a full five minutes to finally find his voice, which thankfully Satan was rather patient through. It might be because he's an immortal being and everything, so five minutes isn't that long to him or something.
"Wedding," Nate finally chokes out and Satan raises an eyebrow. "D- I need a date. To... To a wedding. Sir. Um."
Satan claps his hands together, nearly making Nate jump out of his skin, but Satan is smiling so he doesn't need to be worried about his life... right?
"Excellent!" Satan says. "I can certainly complete that request, there is the manner of payment of course."
"Heaven's no!" Satan says, eyes wide and face slightly offended, "I have too many souls wondering around Hell, and after this the big man is gonna send you down there anyway. No, I have a favor of my own."
Oh Jesus. Satan's going to make Nate kill someone isn't he?
"You see, I have a wedding of my own to get to-"
"Indeed! One of my top minions recently fell in love with a tortured soul and she's invited me to the wedding. It's nothing special, more like a ceremony to upgrade the soul from tortured status to personal slave. It's very touching. I will join you to your wedding, and you will join me down in Hell for mine! Then we part ways after and I'll see you in another... Sixty years perhaps?"
Nate could only nod his head.
"Wow, Nate. I didn't know you were..."
"That he had such fine taste in men, you mean?" Satan asks, smiling, and Nate wants to melt into the floor.
Nate would say that this is Hell except that he's literally going there tomorrow. So. Who knows. It could be compatible but he doesn't want to make assumptions of Hell or anything as he's sitting next to the leader of it, his hands intertwined, fingers laced.
Nate wants to explain that he's not into men. He's not even into women. He can go his whole life without ever dating either. He can die alone with nothing but a cat or something to mourn him. His family doesn't understand that though, which is why his sister practically forced him into finding a date to her wedding. Which is why he summoned a demon.
What is his life. How did he get here. This must be some crazy drugged up dream.
"I- yes," his sister, Izzy says, giving her newly husband a sideways glance. "Nice tastes... In men."
"How did you two meet?" Her husband, Micheal, says, with a bit more class.
Satan ("call me Richard from now on Nathan") sighs happily, so much so that it actually looks genuine. "It's a long story, one could say it's an act of fate. But we are not here about me and my dear Nathan, I would love to hear more about you and your beautiful husband," he says, blinking at Nate's sister and smiling.
Izzy blushes and Micheal smiles tensely.
Nate remains silent for the rest of the night, letting Richard speak to everyone and anyone while he just followed numbly along. If he didn't follow, he'd be dragged. Richard didn't seem intent to let go of their hands.
The night thankfully passes without too much of a hitch. The closest they got to blowing their cover was when Nate was asked what his date's name is by his estranged aunt from Nebraska and he might have accidentally said Satan without thinking, to which she dropped her wine glass in shock (mostly just from hearing the name spoken at a wedding and not from actually believing it), but Richard quickly joked that they sometimes call each other names, and it's actually affectionate, he calls me Satan because I'm very good in bed! (To which his estranged aunt promptly passed out).
Anyway, besides that slight hick up, Nate actually kind of had fun. It was neat to watch the Lord of Hell interact with meager humans, act like a decent human being besides the crude remark or strange reference here and there.
Nate, for a moment, actually thinks he can do this.
And them he went to Hell. And it all went promptly, well, to hell.
"Now, be careful not to speak to Adrey, he may look friendly but he likes to devourer human souls through their mouths. And Vei doesn't like it if you look in her fifth eye. If Ynivir speaks to you it's because they're lonely and not because they want to murder you no matter what they say, and-"
"But you must!" Satan says and Nate groans, dropping his head down so his forehead rests on the lid of the toilet. He thought he was fine, but then Satan had to come in back in his orriginal form and announces he just found the perfect lamb to slaughter to make a portal to Hell and Nate almost didn't make it to the toilet to rid himself of the cake he ate last night.
"Is there something else I can do?!" Nate begs, "anything?!"
"I already promised Greil that you'll be there with me, and he doesn't-"
"Doesn't like lies... I remember..."
Satan sighs and sits down next to Nate. Nate turns away because it was easy to pretend to date a guy that looks like Ryan Reynolds. The sight of the actual Satan churns his stomach. And to think he almost enjoyed holding his hand all day yesterday...
"Do... Do you think I'm evil, Nathan?"
Nate freezes and he suddenly wants to become one with the sick in the toilet. Anything would be better than to be asked that question by the personification of evil himself.
"Your silence speaks volumes, Nathan."
Nathan cringes and closes his eyes, hoping that when Satan ends his life that he'll make it at least quick. He deserves that much... Doesn't he?"
"If it's any consolation, Nathan, I'm not angry with you. You've been the first human interaction I've had in centuries, and I've seen how this world has turned. I've seen the souls walking into my domain. It's easy to blame wickedness on me, and it isn't like I try to defend myself either. It's understandable if you're afraid of me, or my following."
"I'm... Sorry," Nate says, forcing himself to look at Satan, because he sounds so sad. And what he sees sends a shiver down his spine. Satan doesn't only sound sad, but he looks it too. His mouth is turned down in a slight frown, shoulders slumped, eyes gazing downward, fingers picking at nails.
"It's alright," Satan says, sighing. "I suppose it's never been explained that I didn't choose this... Life. I was sent to run the underworld, I was his favorite after all and he needed someone trustworthy. I fell because I loved him. God. I didn't... expect to be made the villain, the one bishops and priests warn you'll see if you do evil. The people of this world don't know what evil is, they're fed lies about every single thing where if they're not perfect then they'll go down. I don't punish those who steal, who are lazy, who skip church, who love the same gender or do not consider themselves the one they were born as. The people who see me are the ones who purposely hurt others, who have murdered and tortured for fun. It's my job to make then regret that, yes, but I've become the monster under the bed because of that.
"If you do not wish to join me for this wedding, I will not force you. I only made the deal because it is a common belief that to ask of a favor one must give back. I didn't want to startle you too much. I was just excited to... be out and be mortal for once in a very long while. I might have lied about God sending you down to hell. There is nothing holding you to your word besides my slightly injured feelings and the disappointment of Greil. He'll get over it."
For a small hopeful second, Nate actually considers to tell Satan to get the fuck out of here then. It would be so simple to. But... Satan actually looks like a kicked puppy and... And he has been nothing but decent since they first met.
And... It's a decent thing to do to return favors... Right?
God. Nate is going to regret this.
"I'll go with you," he says, and Satan looks at him with such wide and surprised eyes that Nate didn't think it would be possible on a demon.
"You know I could be lying, correct?" Satan says and Nate laughs. Actually laughs.
"Even if you were lying, I'll end up in Hell anyway, right?"
Satan grins, not evilly, just excitable. Even if this all goes wrong, Nate will never forget how much of a hyperactive puppy Satan looked as he stands up and offers a hand. "Shall we then, my dear Nathan?"
Nate swallows down the nervousness of visiting actual Hell and how he can be wrong about everything and he could be damning himself to eternal torture, and before he could hesitate, he takes Satan's hand.
"After you, Satan," he replies, smiling.
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