Fuck Off

You always have to say something fucking stupid. Why the self sabotage?? They’re literally falling into your lap and you’re fumbling for no good damn reason.

I’m working 13-14 hours a day, 4-5 days a week, right out of college. I moved out of my parents house with no budgeting plan, subpar knowledge of finance handling, and recently separated with the one person helping me maintain my sanity. I’m not sure what’s keeping me going but i pray every day that i don’t run out of it and i feel myself getting closer and closer to breaking.

I can’t stop focusing on the failures, there’s so many

I need to get out of my head but i don’t want to. Part of me wants to get lost in here and do nothing with my life. Does that mean I’m depressed and should seek help? Or am i just regular sad, and should suck it up? I don’t want to belittle depression by bringing up my petty first world problems up that are so easily fixable. I just need to apply myself at a job i hate indefinitely until i get into a relationship indefinitely and have kids and get old and die. I’m almost halfway through my twenties and I’ve spent the last year wallowing in bed about a breakup with someone that could’ve life partner. But I’m just speculating, i don’t know that for a fact. It’s easier to give up than to try with no motivation. I either can’t or won’t find the motivation to go on.