Quality Steam Reviews

This game has a dog. The dog is a German Shepard. I make the dog carry around 300lbs of gear. The dog complains less than anyone in the negative reviews.

It's like SUPERHOT's inbred cousin that couldn't afford the slow motion mechanic.

Imagine you're playing Metal Gear Solid but you control 5 different snakes and everyone is a Ninja There you go.

everything in here is as needy and hostile as my cat

Doesn't have a single dragon, would recommend skyrim over this any day.

i died 8 times in 10 minutes. i am not cut out for Alaska

Five gunmen. One hostage. Six bodies. Mission complete.

The white loading screen is perfect for reminding me to clean my monitor.

No one that plays this game seems to know what the Geneva Convention is.

I got a medal for being the player who spent the most time crouching.

I like the fact that the game starts. It has some nice menu music. Can't speak to gameplay though, because I can't get into a match and even if I could, neither my controller or keyboard work.

I'm a Simple Man. I see Boobs. I press Add to Cart.

The only game that gives you points for Retreating. The most realistic French Experience

For £35 you could ask that girl you fancy on a date, take her to Pizza Express and pay for her meal, have a successful relationship, get married when you're 25, have kids a few years later, retire as millionaires as you both have great careers then die happy. Conversely, you can buy this game, regret it for the rest of your life and die alone.

Unable to drown park guests in lakes, literally unplayable.

I was sniped by a man named fuck snipers. I asked him to explain this hypocrisy. So he said, "He who snipes snipers, runs the risk of becoming a sniper himself. If you gaze into the scope, the scope gazes back". Did not expect this level of philosophy in a video game.

Pros: - mr Sean Murray sold it well - the hype train was cool - i got to return it and get my money back Cons: - the actual game