Gaylee The Great

shawty got low low low low low low low (self esteem)

talk about getting two birds stoned at once

Since cartilage doesn’t fossilize, t-rexes could’ve had tentacles

Of course they had testicles they’re a pretty important part of sexual reproduction

OH GOD OH WAIT FUCK

my life is constantly just an inner monologue of “why did I do that”

king arthur was supposed to rise when the worlds need was greatest so. wakey wakey! someone knock on his tomb or something

i hate fae rules

I tried to send my stressed out girlfriend a supportive message about how smart and talented she is but my idiot fingers only typed “youre snart” before pressing send

I just had a 20 minute conversation explaining to a customer what chicken wings were.

Did you say that they were wings from a chicken? @cheshireinthemiddle

Didnt work

I can imagine the phrase ‘BUT THEY DON’T FLY, HOW CAN THEY HAVE WINGS?!’ being used at least twice

It was worse

Can you please explain in detail how it was worse

This is the most frustrating thing I’ve ever read

having separate continents is so stupid im over it reblog if you miss pangaea

Men will spend 25% of their day thinking about how they could American sniper their way out of the zombie apocalypse no problem and then they’ll walk into the bathroom and miss the toilet from half a foot away

Men will be like “I would NEVER murder someone but if I did I know exactly how I’d get away with it” and then one day you’ll be in a situation with them where they need to mop a floor and they won’t even know how

what even happens inside a dishwasher