Dizzy in the Gizzy

you look beautiful, honey…

Very much did in the sense that I literally do not know where my job is at the moment. But, for the time being I haven't been let go because nobody else including the store owner knows where it is either.

So, I don't wanna risk doxxing myself by posting pictures but goddamn am I tempted because this is not a believable event. This is a cartoon problem. For looneytoons.

But yeah, so, I work(ed?) at a kiosk selling boba tea, right? Freestanding kiosk in the mall with full water and electrical hookups and multiple fridges and sinks and a mini kitchen and the works. Fully functional tea shop. Very important to note that it was there last night, The work chat was discussing another issue last night at closing time. I'll get back to this.

It's been showing signs of being on the way out with how business is being handled lately and I've been considering other options, which is probably why I'm not as torn up about this as I should be, but maybe it just hasn't set in yet, but that's not the point. The point is there's been a lot of shit breaking and not being replaced and nobody mentioning anything about it until I walk into work in the morning and have to figure out why shit like the fucking cash register isn't there today. So I'm kinda used to having to ask questions about big things that nobody bothered to update me on. I was out for two weeks recovering from a surgery, so I came to work this morning assuming there'd be some kind of bullshit, yeah?

So, the question I had to ask the chat this morning was:

Not a text I ever thought I'd have to send in sincerity, but there it is. Because what I found instead was a fenced off patch of discolored tiles and a few holes in the floor where my entire place of employment used to be.

And the answer? Nobody knows! It was there last night when the mall closed, and every single trace of the structure and all its contents including drink making supplies and our safe and cashbox was gone when it opened again. And when I say nobody knows, I mean everyone from last night's closers to the actual (former?) owner of the store jad no fucking clue about this until getting that text from me this morning. For once I am actually the first to know. 🎉.

So. I guess I didn't so much lose my job as had it stolen. Not by AI, but good old fashioned hands-on human beings picking it up and carrying it away somehow. All mall security would tell me was that they were instructed not to tell me anything and have us contact our management. Who also don't know anything. And later on I came across some construction workers around the gravesite of the kiosk discussing filling in the holes, asked them about it, and was told that they "weren't at liberty to say".

So, not only is my job gone in the most literal physical sense of the word, but it was taken in some kind of super secret kiosk extraction in the dead of night without any warning or witnesses and nobody is allowed to speak of it. The store owner said she was gonna figure it out 10 hours ago and still no word back.

My mother in law thinks the FBI took it.

Not any of the other stores around the state. Just the one little kiosk.

Why? Because she loves a conspiracy and is just a little bit extra.

Also because she was around for the massive crackdown on Yakuza-owned businesses in Waikiki (in her homestate) that did actually involve the FBI seizing stores (no confirmation of making kiosks cleanly disappear in the middle of the night though).

Still no word from my job on what's actually going on, but the most likely theory so far is that maybe the kiosk was on lease and got repossessed? The mystery continues

According to the owner, based on what she's been able to find out, the kiosk was not removed legally and they're starting a potentially long process of legal action. I hope she gets to sue the shit out of whoever did it but for now at least I know for sure I'm unemployed.

Really hoping for more details in terms of who/why/how, so I'll keep updating if I learn anything.

For now the summary is: An unnamed entity that is most likely mall management (on account of mall security cooperating with them) stole an entire kiosk and all the contents including money and machinery with barely a trace in the middle of the night grinch-style, with zero warning or explanation, and ensured the silence of both security and the construction crew, in an action that was definitely preplanned and illegal, and as far as I know nobody knows its whereabouts.

Enjoy the unintentionally funniest text I've ever sent in my life

Aaand a close-up:

HEY HI HELLO THIS ONE'S MY FAVORITE

i think i found my new favorite artist on twitter

A Nervous Old Man (right) and his Emotional Support Violence Machine (Left)

berdly is like, incredibly abrasive right? frankly comedic levels of abrasive, especially to certain kinds of players. that’s his role in the story, to be a little shithead who’s so pathetic it’s funny. a walking punchline. but really, like queen said, there’s nothing wrong with him, at least nothing that it isn’t normal for a teenager to have “wrong” about them. he’s just annoying.

but being annoying is one of the most dangerous things a fictional character can be.

so many times i’ve watched someone play chapter 2 and very quickly wonder out loud, semi-jokingly, if they can kill berdly, usually not long after he’s introduced in the dark world, often going as far to say they would be willing to abandon the pacifist route to do so.

In Any Universe

Yeah you're cute when you sleep but you didn't let me sleep either so I'm going to annoy you now because I'm bored. Hahah get poked, sleepy idiot.

How do you not comprehend this when I am literally staring at you. Like I understand that your brain can't understand things this nuanced but come on, how do you not get this.

I don't know if you know that what I am currently doing is an expression of affection, but that won't stop me. Knowing that I showed you that I love you is enough.

I heard a crinkly material and the sound of you chewing so I have to know what's in your mouth RIGHT FUCKING NOW.

I can't communicate with you and you can't communicate with me, so I'm just copying the tone of the sound you're making in hopes that you understand that I try.

You are doing activities beyond my comprehension, and I find this fascinating. I will never understand what the fuck you are trying to achieve here, but I am intrigued nonetheless.

I'm SO stoked that we get to show you a few preview pages from The Adventure Zone: Story and Song graphic novel- out July 14th!! There's still time to preorder and claim your preorder bonus gift at theadventurezonecomic.com!

You can read the full excerpt and some sweet bonus quotes from Clint & Griffin over at screenrant!

Definitely a flip phone and this shape looks right to me. I could have sworn my first phone had a camera, which this model doesn't, but maybe I'm misremembering.

Yeah, absolutely!

So in book 12, Nyra plans to use magic to force Coryn back to the pure ones. Prior to that reveal though, I thought she might be using that magic to bring back Kludd.

Basically, in this AU, that’s what happens. She uses magic to bring back Kludd.

He would return to being high tyto, and would then interact with Soren and Coryn (who are horrified), Twilight (who killed him the last time, and is horrified) and obviously Nyra.

For Nyra, she’d see this as a classic Came Back Wrong. Kludd would end up with specific health issues that damage his ability to fight, but more importantly, he would resume a position of power over her, when Nyra had gotten used to being in charge. Nyra also isn’t as pretty anymore, she’s becoming more haggish, and the pure ones are starting to work with non-tytos. Kludd would hate all this. They aren’t on the same page anymore, which is hurting the pure ones. They are, however, both interested in vengeance.

Plot wise, I don’t have everything nailed down. I think I’d scrap the Middle Kingdom arcs in favor of the emotional conflicts between Kludd and everyone else, but I’m still figuring out specifics.

direct orders of "you really really need to kill this guy" ignored: 1