argh oof ouch

mom 1: [GASP]

mom 2: we know, dear. we know.

me: [taken aback] y-you know?! for.. for how long?

mom 1: ssince you were a little girl, baby..

mom 2: i've always had my suspicions.

me: i.. i'm sorry..

mom 2: aw, honey.. its ok.. cute or cool.. we love you all the same.. you don't have to be dope for us to love you

mom 1: y-yeah.. more than just your swag.. you'll always be our little girl..

me: [tearing up] rreally,,?

mom 2: absolutely

mom 1: of course..

me: [ssniffle.. hugging my moms close] tthank you.. tthis is the most yuritastic day of mmy life

mom 2: what

mom 1: excuse me, young lady?

succubus general: mnnhh..~ yes, she would look much cuter in girls clothing.. ahaha.. i agree completely my infernal queen, mistress of my endless night~ we should definitely crack her egg~

me: wwait no don't say-

my harpy general: [flapping her wings wildly] SSQUAAA? CRACK.. EGG? c.. cchrr.. mmori tell her she can't touch my eggies! tell her mori tell her!!

me: look what you did girl

succubus general: my bad. do you need the blanket

harpy general: bedtime? bedtime?

me: its fine ill just feed her crackers again

me: okay that was the idea though. your so sexy. like fuck me up girl boss

demon queen: My my my you are quite the stupid little thing aren't you. You know whay I do to little things like you?

me: no but im desperate to find out

demon queen: I break them. I will crush your spirit, Mori. You will have no will to fight me. You will be nothing but my useless toy.

me: again i dont think youre hearing me lady. like yes please. thats what im allll about

demon queen: You are truly beyond saving, aren't you? You were always destined to fail, one as weak as yourself. Ahaha~ You know, Mori, it's a dog eat dog world out there~ At least you know your place~

me: [holding up a leash and wearing a collar. with big dog ears] woof

demon queen: okay actually how did the goddess pick You to be the hero you're so hopeless

me: i beg to differ your highness. im the luckiest girl in the world

demon queen: whatever. sweep my chambees for me

me: y-you're hurt?! nnononono!! don't worry! i'll hheal you! with my magic!! [holds my handd out]

my friend: what the fuck mori

me: ggh.. ddon't worry.. pain pain go away.. come again.. nnever!!! i'm gonna heal you!!

my friend: mori dont be a fucking idiot. i meant emotionally. i'm emotionally hur- oh that feels really nice what is that

me: its mmy magic.. hheheh.. i'm healing you..

my friend: mmnhh.. fuck.. mori that feels.. really good...

me: ssee? i'm sorry.. i just.. ugh! i'm so stupid sometimes.. but i'm not gonna let it hurt you! i love you!!

my friend: gghhdfd.. ffuck.. mori.. keep healing me

me: id go ro the ends of the earth for you! you're my friend! and for me.. that means.. everything! i'll never let you be hurt! not even for a second

my friend: oh ffuck i think i'm close

me: [putting my hands down] wait what

my friend: well don't stop.

me: wwhat did you say though

my friend: keep going mori.

me: um;

my friend: mori. i'm hurt.

me: [putting my hands back up and whimpering] i'm sscared,

my friend: ohhhh yeah.. thats better..

me: SEE! I'LL NEVER LET YOU BE HURT- um. ddid you just pee in your pants?

bee

Ingredients:

bee

Recipe:

guy from 2006: do you have dude where's my car

guy(?) from 1862: and these hormone remedies you spoke of earlier, they allow you to develop sexual characteristics of a female? is that true? are they expensive?

me: nah theyre not that expensive, i can hook you up bartholemew. seconding dude wheres my car

guy who owns multiple criterion blu rays: i do not own such a movie physically

me: its chill its on tubi

guy from 2006: tubi rocks

me: yeah tubis chill. here [plays the movie]

girl from 1862: BY JOVE? ARE THESE MOVING PICTURES? HOW FASCINATING! ...do they make pornographic content like this?