My Soul

I no longer know If I wish to drown myself in love, vodka or the sea.

“I too, I am sure, often hurt you with what I said, but then I always knew, and it pained me, but I could not control myself, could not keep the words back, I was sorry even while I was saying them. But you struck out with your words without much ado, you weren’t sorry for anyone, either during or afterwards, one was utterly defenseless against you.”

It is as if a person were a prisoner, and he had not only the intention to escape, which would perhaps be attainable, but also, and indeed simultaneously, the intention to rebuild the prison as a pleasure dome for himself. But if he escapes, he cannot rebuild, and if he rebuilds, he cannot escape.

feeling normal and then BOOM. thinking about kafka's letter to his father.

“Can you remember who you were, before the world told you who you should be?”

Reminder to self:

“Who the hell said you no longer had it in you?”

“I take much pleasure in being alone but there is also a strange warm grace in not being alone.”