C0w L1k3

Tumblr is already desensitizing me to this lifestyle. Imagine if I had no outside influences to balance it out. I’d probably end up forgetting that other people do laundry and change their sheets sometimes.

or…How to Dance With the Devil and Not Lose a Leg

This is an answer to a question I get asked frequently. I thought it was long overdue I wrote a response.

Diabetes is not the end of gaining. In fact for some, diabetes marks the beginning of their serious weight gain. Many gainers I know have had diabetes for years or even decades and have continued to gain well past 400 or even 500 pounds. These people are not legless cripples; in fact, many are gainers you all know and follow on Tumblr, YouTube, or other sites. They just haven’t told you since talk of diabetes is the third-rail of gaining. (And anyway it’s really nobody’s business but theirs.) I asked a few of these diabetic gainers for help in writing this post.

Diabetes is a manageable disease. Very manageable. Easily manageable. Despite this, most people with diabetes do not manage it…

⸻⸻⸻ ⟡ ABOUT ⟡ ⸻⸻⸻

Kandinhale is a story-driven short RPG game in which you'll have to escape from the clutches of Kandinhale, the company that owns almost the entire consumable market in this idyllic candy world.

⸻⸻⸻

PLAY IT FOR FREE ON STEAM!

sure!

before i start i have to preface with some warnings; this gets pretty detailed and graphic regarding some of the health issues i had at the time. do not read if you are not okay with that please.

i was in a weird spot at the time; my husband had left me a couple months before all of this and i was exploring myself and who i was now that my marriage was over. a large contributing factor to that separation was feedism; my sexual needs just were not met with someone who wasn’t into it.

it started early in the week of Thanksgiving, Tuesday 11/20/18. i met a feeder online four years prior who had gotten me from just above 200lbs to 300lbs slowly but steadily. to this day the best feeder i’ve ever met, sincerely considerate and never once crossed any boundaries.

he came to me with a proposition the weekend prior; gain from 300lb to 350lb by the end of the year and i will fund it.

say less.

that Tuesday was the first time i ever video called with another feedist; it wasn’t the feeder that proposed and funded this challenge, instead it was a guy that pushed me to eat until i threw it all back up because he’s really into emetophilia, i didn’t really know the limits of my stomach so i let him.

however, that evening launched me into the most insane five weeks of my life.

when i woke up Wednesday morning i was somehow starving; despite not keeping anything down the night prior my stomach had still stretched out considerably. that on top of how insanely horny i was at the thought of packing on 50lbs by new years i spent the entire day shoveling in as much food as humanly possible. i didn’t count calories that day, just pushed myself to the absolute limit.

when i woke up Thursday i was impossibly hungry and ready to do it all again. i did the same thing as before, just as much food as humanly possible all day; i distinctly remember dinner being a large pizza, garlic knots, specialty chicken, lava cakes, and a 2 liter of soda from Domino’s.

when i woke up Friday i had a goal; 10,000 calories a day until the ball drops.

and that is exactly what i did.

every morning i would wake up and drink a pint of heavy cream for an easy 1600 calories to start the day right. i would swing by McDonald’s on my way to work and get two McGriddles and a large iced coffee. i’d get to work and have a blender bottle on my desk also full of heavy cream and sometimes condensed milk, i would either drink straight from it or add it to cups of coffee from the break room.

at lunch i would always order with my coworkers to have something delivered… but i would also leave on my lunch break and go back to McDonald’s for 4 McChickens and a large diet coke. then come back to the office and eat the lunch i had ordered with my coworkers.

after work i would swing through another drive thru, often McDonald’s once again. I’d get a couple sandwiches but nothing crazy, just a light snack to hold me over til dinner.

i would order massive feasts for delivery from Domino’s or I’d go back out after dark and order enough food for a family of 4. you guessed it, usually from McDonald’s.

to finish my night, i would drink another pint of heavy cream. totaling 3200 calories of straight fat every single day.

the weight piled on rapidly; new stretchmarks were appearing daily.

this is where i should put a disclaimer. this is all 100% true, every single detail is lived experience. i know it sounds insane. it was. i have literal scars to prove it. one feedist saw me do it live and in person, in the flesh, i believe he follows me on here so if you’re reading this G, please corroborate.

i gained 10lbs a week through the end of the year. i was cumming harder than i ever had before. my entire life was consumed by food and gaining.

i did not have a bed to sleep in at the time; there were some other issues i was dealing with that made it so i had to sleep in a recliner in my living room.

because i was gaining so rapidly and sleeping with my legs below my heart, i developed extremely bad edema. my legs were so swollen they started to weep a clear liquid; i would put on a pair of leggings and they would be soaked from the knee down before i even left the house. my shoes were soaked. i developed ulcers on my shins that just would not heal, the skin almost looked necrotic but they would just weep all day every day with no relief and stick to anything i tried to wear.

mid-December i was bursting out of my clothes. most of the weight i gained went straight to my belly. i went on a little shopping spree at Torrid and had to buy all 5’s and 6’s for the first time.

my mobility suffered at this point as well. i couldn’t do much of anything without getting red-faced and winded within a minute of moving. i had a step tracker at the time and was only walking about 200 steps a day, literally the bare minimum for me to go to work and come home.

i had no time for my body to adjust to the weight so i developed a heavy waddle. my back absolutely killed me.

i swear some days i woke up actually feeling fatter and looking fatter. it was the absolute hottest thing i have ever done and probably ever will do. i started at about 303lbs and landed at 357lb on New Year’s day. my gains didn’t actually slow down til i was in the mid 360s despite my efforts to pump the brakes.

would i do it again? absolutely not. i was in excruciating pain and the ulcers on my legs did not stop for an entire year (after i gained another 50lbs in an 8 week period but we ain’t talking about that [even tho i still have all the content i made from that gain lol])

but if i went back in time i would not change a thing except better leg elevation and compression. i do not regret it for a second; it’s what shaped me as a feedist and i’m grateful i was able to do it, i don’t have pics from when it was really bad but the scars i have today are still evident.

so yeah! that’s the story! sorry it’s super rambling, i sincerely hope it was coherent, now i gotta go clean my toys so i can take care of myself cause lord 🥵 thems some intense memories, my only regret is i deleted 99% of the pics and videos i took at that time.

here’s a couple more pics; one is my cart at the grocery in early December, the other is a screenshot of the weight gain calculator i used from the same week when i realized i didn’t have to eat 10k a day, i could make it happen with 7k a day but the former sounded much better (read: hotter) to me

or…How to Dance With the Devil and Not Lose a Leg

This is an answer to a question I get asked frequently. I thought it was long overdue I wrote a response.

Diabetes is not the end of gaining. In fact for some, diabetes marks the beginning of their serious weight gain. Many gainers I know have had diabetes for years or even decades and have continued to gain well past 400 or even 500 pounds. These people are not legless cripples; in fact, many are gainers you all know and follow on Tumblr, YouTube, or other sites. They just haven’t told you since talk of diabetes is the third-rail of gaining. (And anyway it’s really nobody’s business but theirs.) I asked a few of these diabetic gainers for help in writing this post.

Diabetes is a manageable disease. Very manageable. Easily manageable. Despite this, most people with diabetes do not manage it…

i had a fun weekend and i guess this counts for tummy tuesday? i was also caned, spanked, and hurt in other ways, hope yall like my noises! i hope this doesnt get nuked, i censored the offending bits

Basically, I am rambling because I think there’s some misunderstanding about what exercise for us can look like. It’s not high level impact things on our joints, such as running, jogging, jumping jacks. Slower, gentler movements are very effective for us too. I personally felt the need to bring this to light, because I know there is a lot of fantasy & desire for “work out” video content for feedees. I’ve gotten a lot of inquires over time. It’s cute of course. But for some of us, like myself, it can be harmful and we can truly end up physically hurt. I have degenerative arthritis in both of my hips, labral tears, bilateral hip inpingments, SI joint arthritis, that extends up my spine. Glute/hip area Tendinosis (a chronic long term form of tendinitis, where your muscles are like frayed rope), pubic symphysis, hEDS, POTS, Endo, autoimmune shit, the list goes on and on….

Wanted to bring awareness that there are safer ways to “work out” and keep your body feeling good as we age, and maintain higher weights. I worked with various very knowledgeable physical therapists and orthopedic specialists for over a year. My work out currently looks something like:

20 squats with bands around my feet

One footed foot planks on a yoga block, rotating each foot long enough to do 12 side to side head rotations (this helps strengthen glutes and align my pubic bones)

Side plank hip lifts, 3 10 second holds on each hip

Clam shells with band around knees, 2 rounds of 12 each side

Hip pistons on a yoga block, 2 sets of 12 each side

10 pelvic tilts laying on back

10 5 second bridges, with a ball between knees, ensuring I pelvic tilt before lifting

2 sets of 10 open book stretches

2 sets of 10 Transverse Abdominal squeezes on each side, with a Pilates ring

2 sets of 5, 10 second Hip Flexor lunge stretches

3 10 second bear planks

5 cat cows

2 sets of 10 bird dogs

3 30 secs butterfly poses

2 sets of 10 Weighted marching

2 sets of 10 on each leg Dumbbell Lunge (I push forward rather than overhead)

Monster walking with bands around ankles back and forth on about a 15 foot area

A low impact 10-20 minute walk

This is tailored for me, to keep my hips, glutes, core, legs, back strong, so I can remain in as little pain as possible. Yes it’s hard, but over time it has gotten easier, and in return has boosted my mental health because moving and going about my daily life hurts less.

Signed,

Vanilla Ice Cream - 500g (1 pint) - 1100kcal

Heavy Cream (Whipping Cream, 36% fat) - 500ml (2 cups) - 1700kcal

Whole Milk - 250ml (1 cup) - 150kcal

Chocolate Syrup - 60ml (4 tbsp) - 200kcal

Peanut Butter - 2 tbsp - 200kcal

Weight Gain Powder - 100g (4 scoops) - 500kcal

Maple Syrup or Honey - 30ml (2 tbsp) - 120kcal