Lord Willin.

education? managed to make it into the next phase of nursing school but one week into clinical and he decided he couldn’t lie about it anymore and decided to finish up his business degree and focus in marketing. all the networking managed to get him a spot under an entertainment company’s marketing department. 

social status? parents still egg him over taking over the company when he gets more credentials. daehyun has been actively avoiding that prospect.

swimming? was captain of the swim team at his university his last year but didn’t pursue anything serious despite how good he was at it because of his parents pestering him. still swims recreationally because being underwater helps blocks out all the thoughts in his head. he sometimes will still give swimming lessons to the kids there and for the last two summers in university he was a lifeguard over the summer.

social life? most of his partying days are over unless it’s networking events for the company and those are usually invitation-only events. 

migraines? poetry? still gets migraines and since he has no time for spoken word he usually just journals to get all the thoughts all. occasional ghostwrites for artists who suck at it.

junior. caved and is cramming a shit ton of nursing and business classes in his schedule. might graduate late at this rate but it’ll be worth it.

co-captain of the swim team, meaning he still goes to practice but doesn’t get to compete this season because of grades. competed at last year’s regional competition and his team wont he relay and he won third overall at the meet.

had a - less than acceptable summer, parents kicked his ass into gear as of last semester. summer involved, getting a tattoo, dyeing his hair blonde, getting several piercings that they’re less than okay with, and attending far too many pool parties.

currently working to pay off the damage to his father’s porsche. also working to pay for the apartment he stays in with jaebin his best friend in the whole wide world.

currently experiencing, a shit ton of migraines. currently has no time to perform poetry for spoken word night at the cafe. currently having an identity, financial and sexuality crisis but what else is new.

( KKT : 👑 멍청이 ) ( msg ) nice try ( msg ) u still owe me food ( msg ) smh

( KKT : 👑 멍청이 )

????????

since when

i don’t owe you

[ x ]

turn it down. turn it down.

that’s what the walls must sound like. he imagines, and he laughs somewhere between the knocks on the door and the whines he makes out from memory. not that jaebin is a whiner, not that daehyun memorizes his noises. pfft. ha. fuck.

maybe he does. maybe he does but that’s not too weird. that’s proximity. that’s friendship and memory. that’s him.

he imagines, that jaebin’s hand is knocking on the side again. after agreeing to a shared apartment that means shared and separate space all the time. shared bodies, separate thoughts. that’s a friend thing, though they still share a few thoughts they’re a little disconnected in all. when daehyun comes home late, stays up later, and sounds like there’s a mini party in his room. a mini something. mini loathing, mini marathon of thoughts. or really just the sound of feet padding around so much as he dances drunk to a tune.

(he’s not a very good dancer)

he’s not good at this. bottling things. so he blasts them out, sings his throat dry but soft as ever.

daehyun imagines, this is when jaebin feels the least connected to him. when he stands a little too long on the other side of the wall. when the music mutes even though it blasts and he tries to make out even though he’s blocked. make out whatever daehyun’s trapped himself in ( as he himself makes out with a pillow ). such is life.

well not as it feels. life doesn’t look like this feeling. like this purple haze and drunk glow. the wavy kind. the 70′s show kind that they tell you doesn’t exist. the wish of bleeding moonlight that’s only the crack of an old lamp on the desk. footsteps to a tune that’s a more felt than heard. more bass than words.

that’s cool. he’s memorized it to the soul anyway.

'turn it doooooown' when he does turn it down he makes out the words. a little distorted. effects of the bass still ringing and playing. tricking daehyun into a past and from a reality. but, he hasn’t heard jaebin all day (false) so he tunes to him (true, always true).

'you’re not childish gambino.' jaebin’s voice does always have that whine to it. it’s got the usual confusion. the kind that lets daehyun know he’s a little weird but jaebin’s weird too so it’s weird enough. 

“but what if I was.” is what he says when he opens the door. 

‘we wouldn’t worry about the fine we’d pay for a noise complaint.’

fair.

“fair.”

daehyun’s washing up now. washing off sweat and weed ashes, wiping his face and bringing himself back into the reality. of approaching midterms and scattered responsibilities. he wasn’t escaping intentionally, though he does feel better after stepping out for a bit. or stepping in. away. whatever it’s called.

something.

anything.

( KKT : 👑 멍청이 ) ( msg ) do u have anything to say for urself 😡

( KKT : 👑페티 )

anyone who doesn’t like blackpink your momma’s a hoe?

@kiddaeng

( KKT : 👑 멍청이 ) ( msg ) [img]

( KKT : 👑페티 )

( KKT : 👑 멍청이 ) ( msg ) don’t ???? me ( msg ) kim daehyun

@kiddaeng

( KKT : 👑 멍청이 ) ( msg ) 야 ( msg ) kim daehyun

@kiddaeng

( KKT : 👑 멍청이 ) ( msg ) yo yo fake crew yo ( msg ) i’m hungry but i can’t leave the apt ( msg ) and i’m not supposed to eat junk food today ( msg ) can u sneak me food 🙏

yeah, hyung. that’s exactly what i’m getting at. you’re the only other company i can bear and be completely comfortable in. i have a problem, hyung. a serious problem. i am friends with the fridge but i don’t know how to give it love when i’m not very rich. either way, if i had some money to fill it, i wouldn’t know what to do with all the food that’s in there since i don’t know how to cook real homemade food. would you cook? i doubt it. you’d be out instead… i’ll be left alone with all the molding food. are they? that makes me wanna challenge but i know you’re right, it won’t end well.

me? nah you’re going to find more exciting and interesting people out there. it’s a whole world of potential comfort, just a little hard to find. i’m getting emotional thinking of sending you out on your own. but i’m glad you find comfort with me, that’s how it should be, if I caused you stress it’d be a problem. so let me know if I do okay? give it love in hugs and repairs and cleaning it every other week. i think it just gets sad when it’s not full but we’re both low on funds so it’ll have to deal. ahhh okay if the fridge someone gets food, I’ll cook, sound good? sound like a plan? I’ll be in more often and we’ll get a nice full fridge like all the others okay? is this you saying you miss your hyung because I need confirmation.

“real eloquent, kim daehyun.”

but it’s a part of daehyun that makes him daehyun— the way he drops all pretenses around her, raw and rough-edged and unapologetically so.  he’s a breath of fresh air when the world around her gets too suffocating, a source of comfort and a reminder of home when she can’t seem to remember how to get there again.  

so she doesn’t hold back from making an exaggeratedly disgusted face when a familiar item emerges, nose scrunched and mouth flattened into a grimace.  “don’t even think about it-”

too late.  he’s already charging full speed ahead, but she’d expected nothing less.  while he immerses himself in his antics she reaches for a napkin to swipe at the mess he’s made, purposefully pressing harder than necessary when she reaches his face.  “how old are you, five? i know we’re alone, but you’re gonna stay single forever if you don’t start shaping up.  just saying.” she ends with a condescending pat to his head- smiles innocently as if it’d only been an act of generosity.  

the echoing sound of her chair drawing closer to the desk reminds her that they don’t have an audience.  even then, she figures he’d act the same as he is now.  daehyun being daehyun.

“it’s always kim jisoo time, i don’t know what you’re talking about.  i’m the sun in your orbit, y’know?  you can deny it all you want, but you can’t cross physics.” so even when she lobs the balled up, now-dirty napkin at his head, she’s grinning.  glad you’re here, idiot.  

“learned from the best kim jisoo.” he says it with turn of his lip and a poke of his tongue.

this is something that isn’t going to change. it’s that shit that they show in old Disney movies and should really be on the discovery channel. discovering the twenties, living the in’s and out’s of friendship in the twenty-first century. add the word millennial to the end and everyone’s going to read it. everyone concerned about how communication goes between people like them. but they don’t even know. he’s pretty sure they’re just figuring it out, juggling comfort in a way that’s both scary and safe.

he knows he’s not being appropriate but he’s not being inappropriate. he knows he’s not being as sophisticated as he’s been taught but let’s be real, when has he ever been and when will he ever be? be all that is asked of him and all that is expected. that’s....going a little too deep so let’s go back. the cafeteria is empty, he’s hungry as hell and with the one person who doesn’t give a fuck how he is. that’s how it goes. that’s why it is the way it is, nothing else.

“you’re just mad that my ponytail looks better than yours and I can do a ponytail in the first place. which by the way because I did it I win.” most people would zero in on the fact that he doesn’t say anything about the single comment, that daehyun who picks up on every word and delivers ten more, quiets himself and ignores it. but really he’s still got a mouthful of food (another mouthful actually) and he doesn't care enough to respond. 

“you’re gonna stay bitter and grow frown lines if you keep worrying about me.” but worrying in the friendly way. worrying in the shoulder to shoulder, shoving each other down the street way. the way he looks up the moment the napkin hits, the comeback silenced into a frown and a rather large, obnoxious gulp.

“what are you? five?”

there’s no hiding the flinch followed by multiple steps back and an exclamation of surprise even after the attempt to conceal it with his hands. to anyone who was seeing jaebin at the moment, he would appear to be traumatized. a little betrayed but holding back on shifting all the blame to the hyung who only tried to make him feel better, he assumes. otherwise he’d throw a fit which is completely uncharacteristic, and something daehyun possibly hasn’t seen in the time that he’d been living with jaebin. his head bowed in defeat and the corner of his lips uncontrollably dip into a frown. he shuffles to the microwave. hands a little shaky, heart a little nervous. from the movement of his feet, it was easy to tell how disheartened he was.

“hyung, if this turns out inedible…” he only clicks his tongue against the ceiling of his mouth and nothing more while slowly revealing the nightmare.

it’s gone.

it’s gone.

it’s....

so daehyun’s got a lot of faith. quite a lot of faith and he has pretty good instincts. they’re good enough to take one look at a teammate and know today wasn’t the day to fuck around with their coach. good enough to see a friend walking towards him and walk the other way. kind of like karen from mean girls using her boobs to tell if it’s going to rain.....kind of. he’s got faith though, good faith and it’s what helps him rush forward to usher out the plate. 

“no no nooooo let hyung take it out okay, you’re gonna burn your---- hands yeah just let me take it out and step back we don’t want the last minute pops hitting you in the face. like popcorn you know except sticky and gooey and nah not fun.” words flying out like a saving grace, hands moving to usher a prayer over the cup. he doesn’t peek until his body is covering it from jaebin’s sight.

it’s....good!

“voila! micro-roasted marshmallows you’re welcome!” he doesn’t look at the microwave, doesn’t try to look at it and instead holds the bowl out to his dongsaeng, wide grin and all. “and you were doubting my genius, look how good they look.”