moist pussy.

...

Here is what we have learned about The World after........two pages.

The presentation of hair in this society is really, really important, although there's very little information on what the hairstyle is supposed to look like.

people attend educational institutions called universities

It's possible to travel 165 miles in a single afternoon, using something called a "Mercedes CLK." Doing this involves "hit[ting] the pedal to the metal." I, as a Future Historian, do not know what this means.

Journalist is a job. It means you ask important rich people questions.

There's something called a "digital recorder." There are no instructions on how to use it other than "press record."

Buildings can be twenty stories tall and they're made of glass, steel, and sandstone?? What the FUCK does that even look like

Things we have not learned about the world in 2 pages:

Desk is sandstone?? Sandstone desk??

The effect the architecture has is "intimidating" and "clinical."

The woman at the sandstone desk is wearing a "charcoal suit jacket" and "white shirt." I assume charcoal refers to the color. She is well-dressed.

The speaker feels underdressed because she is in a "navy-blue jacket," her "one and only skirt," "sensible brown knee-length boots," and a "blue sweater." She wishes she had worn one of her roommate's "formal blazers."

There's a thing called an elevator that's capable of "whisk[ing]" you at "terminal velocity" up to the twentieth floor.

Chairs are leather??

The city of Seattle overlooks a sound, important enough to be called THE Sound. It is a really impressive sight.

The protagonist likes to read "classic British novels."

People drink tea, coffee, and water.

Things we don't know about The World:

In reference to all the people in the building being blonde, the speaker says, "It's like Stepford in here." It is unknown what this references.

fuck

Okay

Pages 5-6 update of what we, as Future Historians, can learn about the world from Fifty Shades of Grey:

the woman's heels are "clicking?" presumably she's wearing shoes?

the speaker is not sure if it is legal for Grey's building to be full of exclusively blondes. (There are laws about that?)

the blonde women are said to be doing some kind of "work," but there are no details. (Weaving?)

"african-american" is a category of person

"dark copper" hair is attractive

The speaker curses to herself by saying "double crap."

She also says "holy cow." Since we know very little about The World, maybe she's invoking a cow god?

If Grey is over thirty, then the speaker is "a monkey's uncle." It is unknown what this is supposed to mean.

People hold hands as greeting. There is also shaking involved. It's unclear.

There are tables specifically for coffee? Coffee tables?

Windows can stretch from floor to ceiling! They're made of glass?

The speaker is studying "English" literature at "WSU Vancouver," presumably the name of the university she attends.

Grey's desk is made of wood, not sandstone, and it is "modern."

The office is decorated only with a "mosaic" of small paintings of "mundane, forgotten objects" that are so detailed, they look like "photographs."

Mr. Grey is referred to as "an Adonis." It is unknown what this references.

I'm still stuck on how a random college student who is not even studying journalism gets an interview with a CEO because her roommate had an interview with him. And how they just...let her in despite the fact that she obviously has no fucking idea what she's supposed to be doing???

And on how a blue jacket, a blue sweater, a skirt and brown knee-length boots is supposed to like...look like something a person would wear to a formal interview with a CEO.

I did not look at the sex scenes. I have an extremely hard time imagining they are sexy. However i opened the accursed tome to a random page, and saw...

Way down low. Down There. You know. Down There. In the Low Place. The Bottom Area. You know, my Underneath Parts. Way down in my Deep Organ. My Sensual Basement. My Arousal Trench, if you will.