whatever

why is your dog made of metal and/or tin foil

This is the post that keeps on giving

Amazing

this is what riverdale should've been

I used to think communication was the key until I realized comprehension is. You can communicate all you want with someone but if they don’t understand you, its silent chaos.

u ever look at girls and think how the fuck u that pretty

This is almost enough cats.

2020′s final plot twist could be me meeting the love of my life idk 

i love it thanks

We were all so wrapped up in dad jokes that we forgot grandpa humor

grandpa humor is dad jokes aged like fine wine

capitalism is like. resting is a waste of time. eating is a waste of time. sleeping is a waste of time. playing is a waste of time. living is a waste of time. you must prove your worth to live here and everything else is a waste. and we’re taught not to question it. 

i will eat my meals and take my naps and sit on benches and i will stop to do nothing and i will cherish those moments.

[in an Australian accent] “Okay so, story time, I have this little mouse that I named Billy Bob that’s been living in my pantry, he’s been there for months. Um, today I heard him squeaking in the pantry so I went and looked and guess what- he got his head stuck in a rigatoni~”

hands down best addition to this post