keon-archives

pairing ahn keonho x fem!reader

synopsis you and keonho have a huge mishap that causes him to distance himself from you, inevitably changing your friendship forever.

warnings based in the 90s, sfw, fluff, angst, crying, arguing, cussing, skinship, kissing

author’s note guys i’m sorry for the angst post i’ll make it up to you i promise😭😭also credits to my twinski anna for giving me some fire ideas👀👀

3.5k words

pt.1 / pt.2

playlist

1. come back to me - janet jackson

2. i know it’s over - the smiths

3. no ordinary love - sade

4. silly - deniece williams

5. distant lover - marvin gaye

taglist: @eoduuung @yvesismylove @cortisen5 @taelvvrzz @lowkeonho @seonghwaswifeuuuu @tinybitofhope @kimtaehussy @yellofani @keon-archives @keonvoid @roses4violet2 @youngddariana @fairystrength @meecasa @matthewsroses @wonnorii @teppanyakii-mac @letd8wn @psofmi @kanieknowsball @colourfullymoka @prettygirlkiki @idkwiexist @cortisalcholic @freesofxx @fayepz @riddlesonlywife @ynzyy @rositapinchesfresita @mizukipon @oiosoobin @oliviapirate @ges1ca @cutezuha @flyshhtonly @emsluvv @quietgeodesyndicate @ddorkky @xowonat

6am on a monday.

the worst time to ever exist.

your mouth is dry, your vision is blurry, and ahn keonho is surprisingly..

right next to you??

he’s stayed over once again. sometimes you wonder who’s house this actually is, his or yours?

you feel like you just woke up in the sahara desert. you see your blanket hanging off the side of the bed, assuming you kicked them off mid sleep because of how hot it is.

keonho on the other hand, is completely knocked out. not a care in the world. his arm is thrown out across your stomach, fingers tightening on your waist as you try to wiggle out of his grasp.

that’s just something keonho would never allow. even if he’s unconscious.

he scoots closer, his face digging into the crook of your neck as he mumbles some incoherent nonsense.

you take a long, deep breath.

“keonho.”

“mm.”

“move.”

“mmm.”

it was no use. he was too far gone.

there was only one thing that could be done.

SMACK!

“ow!”

his eyes struggle to open as he slowly moves to the farther side of the bed, rubbing the redness that began to form on his arm.

“what was that for?”

“i told you to move. we need to get ready for school.”

“well you didn’t have to attack me just to convey that message.”

“you almost killed me through suffocation, so i had no choice.”

“you’re so dramatic.”

“says the one who hysterically cried at the ending of homeward bound that i had to drag you out the theater. now get up.”

“it reminded me of cookie..”

“since you love cookie so much, how about you two reunite just like in the movie and you sleep at your own house?”

"but your bed is better than mine."

he starts to snuggle himself under your covers again before you grab a pillow to hit him with.

"okay! okay! i'm leaving."

you roll your eyes as he makes his way to your bedroom door, giving you that look before exiting.

“see you at school, y/n.”

your heart skipped a beat, but you try to ignore it.

you’re having a hard time coming to terms that you’re falling for your best friend.

ahn keonho has been by your side for years, and you don’t want to ruin your friendship over something stupid.

how do you even know if keonho feels the same way?

sure, you guys kiss. and..share the same bed sometimes. but, it’s different with him. you’re actually comfortable around keonho. you don’t mind doing things like that with him, zero commitment involved.

but sometimes you do wonder…what it’d actually be like to commit to a romantic relationship with keonho. for real.

you just try to forget about it and get ready for school.

keonho was walking to his house, which was conveniently right next to yours.

on the way there, he couldn’t help but think about one thing.

you.

you took up 100% of his brain and his heart.

you were all he’s ever known since the beginning, and he wanted you to know that. he officially made his mind up.

he was gonna confess.

today.

school was boring as usual. you had a math exam that you completely flunked. since keonho stayed over at your house basically the whole weekend, it slipped your mind that you needed to study for it. but you’re not gonna blame it entirely on him, he probably failed it too.

the dismissal bell rung and you were packing up your things, just chatting with your friends. they brought up how shocked they are that you and keonho aren’t dating yet, given the fact that you two are basically attached to the hip.

you didn’t want your friends to know anything. you didn’t want to accept what you felt for him either. so, you lied.

“what? i would NEVER date keonho. as long as there is breath in my body, we will never be anything. i see him only as a friend. nothing else.”

“really?”

“yeah. i mean—i wasn’t going to tell you guys this but..we kissed a few times. a lot of times actually.”

“WHAT?”

“yeah, but it’s really not that deep. i don’t feel anything towards him. he’s like…super clingy.”

“wow. so you guys kissed before, and you still have NO feelings for him?”

“yep.”

“is he at least a good kisser?”

you chuckle and roll your eyes.

“no comment.”

your friends all stare at you in disbelief. you know that everything you said just now wasn’t true, excluding the kissing part. in all honesty, you can’t come to terms with the truth. but you’re sure keonho would’ve said the same thing, right?

you bite on your bottom lip as you walk out, not knowing that just two minutes before that, keonho was outside.

listening to everything you said.

keonho had it all planned out. he was going to wait for you outside your classroom and you two were gonna walk home together like you always do. except this time, he was going to tell you exactly how he felt.

he’s waiting outside, shoulders scrunched up with his hands in his pockets. he was incredibly nervous. he looks through the window and sees you inside, talking with your friends.

but then he hears his name. he gets closer to the door to listen.

“why aren’t you and keonho dating yet?”

“oh no. i would NEVER date keonho. as long as there is breath in my body. we will never be anything. i see him only as a friend. nothing else.”

he immediately wanted to block everything out. but then you said more.

“we kissed a lot of times, but it’s not really that deep. i don’t feel anything towards him. he’s like..super clingy.”

your words hit him like a ton of bricks.

he swallows hard before quickly walking away, heart in shambles.

even after hearing your hurtful words, he still waited for you.

he stood by the front gate watching you walk down towards him. but the closer you got, the harder it was for him to meet your gaze.

“hey keon!”

“hey.”

he clenches the straps of his backpack and starts walking in the direction of your house.

“oh my god. you won’t believe what happened to me today.”

he is silent.

“i flunked my math test so bad. i totally forgot to study because we hung out like all weekend.”

“cool.”

“what?”

“huh?”

“what do you mean, “cool?” i failed the test.”

“oh. sorry.”

“what did you get on it?”

“i don’t know.”

“you…don’t know?”

“didn’t check.”

“okay..”

silence lingers between the two of you for a minute before you couldn’t take it anymore.

“is something wrong?”

“nah.”

“did someone say something to you?”

he goes quiet. you stop infront of your house, but he keeps walking down to his.

“wait—keon. you’re not coming over?”

“no. i’m busy.”

“okay—“

before you could even finish your sentence, he speed walks into his house, door slamming behind him.

you’re just standing there. having difficulty accepting the difference in behavior keonho just showed you. that wasn’t like him at all.

you shake the thoughts off and walk into your house.

you’re laying in your bed, staring at the ceiling.

you couldn’t stop thinking about him.

and even worse,

your bedsheets still smelt like him.

you thought about calling his house phone, but he probably wasn’t in the mood to talk to you anyway.

so inevitably, you start overthinking.

did something happen? did someone say something to him? why wasn’t he opening up to you like he usually did? did you do something?

you could barely go to sleep because your thoughts kept you up the whole night.

you wake up from the little amount of sleep you got, eyelids weighing down as you get ready for school.

you walk out the house and spot keonho walk right past you. he gives you a quick glance, but his jaw tightens as he continues to walk away.

you don’t even bother to call out his name. what was the point? he obviously didn’t want to speak to you.

you trail behind him, far enough that he can’t hear your footsteps, but close enough that he’s still in your line of sight. tears start to form in your eyes, you quickly sniff and wipe them away before they fall.

you hated this. so much.

you looked at the back at his head, waiting for him to just turn around and talk to you again.

you missed him.

then, your mind went to the things you said yesterday.

“he’s super clingy.”

it wasn’t true. none of it was true.

you’re the clingy one.

you want to go back to the way things were. you’d do anything.

you don’t even remember walking into class, but eventually you got there. you stared out the window, zoning out, thinking of keonho.

you decided that you were gonna talk to him at lunch, no more avoiding, you couldn’t deal with it for any longer.

you started thinking about what you should say.

“sorry?” , “why are you avoiding me?”

you didn’t even know what the problem was. that’s what made everything so much harder to understand. you just suck it up and walk towards the cafeteria.

you usually sat next to keonho at lunch. but when you walked in, you saw he was already sitting with someone.

phoebe.

keonho knew that you hated her.

she used to spread rumors about how close you were with keonho, making up nonsense about how you’re only friends with him just to use him.

so when you saw him sitting right next to her, laughing like she was the most funniest person in the world as she touched his arm, you didn’t know how to react.

you just turned around and stormed out, you didn’t even have an appetite anymore.

when you got home, you locked yourself in your room and refused to come out. your mom knocked on your door out of worry.

“sweetie? is everything alright?”

“i’m fine.”

“keonho’s mom called. did something happen between you two?”

“no.”

“sweetheart, listen to me. whatever happened, i’m sure you’ll get through it. you and keonho care for each other and nothing will ever change that fact.”

you don’t respond. you just cover your mouth to muffle the sound of your sobs trying to escape.

she didn’t get it.

keonho didn’t care about you anymore. he doesn’t want anything to do with you. you just wish you knew why.

the next day already felt insufferable. you woke up super late, and it was past noon. you decided to stay home from school, you couldn’t bear to let keonho see you in this state. your hair was a mess and your under eyes were incredibly dark and puffy. you spent the whole night crying like a damn child. you close your eyes for a brief second when suddenly your stomach starts rumbling.

“right. i haven’t eaten anything.”

you stumble out of bed and into the kitchen to see your mom left you breakfast and a note.

“to my baby:

life changes. but only you get to decide if it’s for better or for worse. i know you’re hungry, so i made you this. also, don’t linger too long in your room! go out and take a breath of fresh air, i left $20 bucks on my dresser. love you :)”

you smile at the kind words she left you. she was right, it was all up to you. even though you’re upset about the situation, you can’t let it take control of you.

so you listened to her and went out for a stroll.

your local cafe that all the kids went to didn’t seem that busy, but to be fair it was a school day. you brought your cd player with you so you could listen to your favorite cd while drinking a cup of coffee. you press play and the song that started playing was “no ordinary love” by sade.

keonho bought you this cd after you told him you liked ONE song by her. that day still makes you laugh, he tried to make it seem like a surprise but it was so obvious he was carrying a cd case. it’s so crazy that even now you still find a way to make everything about keonho. he really does play a huge role in your life.

you sigh and look out the window, watching the people walk by.

keonho was at school, but something was missing. you weren’t there and he noticed pretty fast. you never miss a day of school, no matter what. he couldn’t help but think that this was his fault, even though you were the one who hurt him first. why does he care so much? his thoughts are interrupted by phoebe, who he forgot was even sitting right next to him. they were both outside alone during lunchtime in the courtyard.

“are you even listening to me?”

“huh?”

“i asked you if you want to go to the movies with me this weekend.”

“oh.”

“..well??”

“uh, sure.”

“keonho, be honest. are you thinking about her?”

he doesn’t respond immediately, and that was enough of an answer for her.

“you were. even after what she did.”

“phoebe. i don’t think i can do this anymore. it just doesn’t sit right with me.”

“what?..so what you’re saying is that you prefer that bitch more than me?”

“excuse me?”

“just admit it. that’s what you were thinking, huh?”

“what did you just call her?”

“it’s true. she’s a bitch. she doesn’t even like you, and she only keeps you around for her own benefit. she doesn’t give a damn about you. what don’t you get?”

“look, phoebe. i’m not doing this with you. i don’t care if me and y/n aren’t on speaking terms right now or not. she isn’t a bitch, and i’m not going to allow you to disrespect her in front of me.”

“whatever. i knew this was a bad idea anyway, she has you under a spell. you need to wake up, keonho.”

she gets up and storms off towards the entrance of the building.

her words rang in his mind for the rest of the day.

“you need to wake up, keonho.”

but it’s impossible. this spell you have him under, it can’t be broken.

and that’s why he’s so frustrated.

you finally made it back home and it was almost evening. you were lucky that you didn’t run into keonho. he should be home by now, probably watching tv or reading a comic. you spent so much time with him that you can guess exactly what he was doing without fail. so it was the perfect time.

to stop by his house and talk to him.

you thought long and hard about it, you were going to try to be mature and have a conversation with keonho.

you even wrote down what you wanted to say, even though it’s most likely going to go off script.

but fuck it. you just needed to know how to fix this.

you make your way to his house next door, and it felt like your heart was beating out of your chest. but you just took a deep breath and rang his doorbell. you close your eyes and mentally prepare yourself as rain lightly drizzles on top of you.

he opens the door with a monotonous expression, his eyes lingering on everything else but you. you take a deep breath before greeting him.

“hi.”

“hey.”

“we need to talk.”

he gestures you to come in. you walk in but not too far.

“where’s your parents?”

“out.”

you just look at him and nod your head. he won’t even look at you.

“so, what did you want?”

“keonho, why can’t you look at me?”

his eyes finally meet yours for the first time in what felt like eternity.

“i am looking at you.”

“no, you’re avoiding me. do you know how unfair this all is? you just start randomly acting like i don’t exist, and then you start hanging out with phoebe?? her of all people, keonho? that’s sick.”

“i’m sick?? why do you think i’m ignoring you in the first place? did you even think that you did anything wrong? probably not, because you think you’re so perfect.”

“what the fuck, keonho. seriously. that’s not fair. how am i even supposed to know anything if you refuse to talk to me?”

“you don’t remember what you said? any of it?”

“what did i even say that was so bad?? the last thing i remember talking to you about was that damn stupid math test. but you were already brushing me off back then too. so no, i don’t know what i said.”

“i heard everything, y/n. how you’ll never date me and how “clingy” i am.”

your mind instantly flashes back to what you told your friends.

“you…heard me say that?”

“every last word. and i’m the one being unfair?? how do you think i felt hearing you say that?”

“keonho. i’m so sorry. you know i didn’t mean any of that—“

“and why should i believe you?”

“no seriously, i was lying. i didn’t mean any of it. i just—i don’t know.”

“even if you didn’t mean it, you still said it. how could you stoop so low?”

silence rings out between the two of you.

“so you started hanging out with her, just to get back at me?”

“i don’t know. maybe i enjoy being around her more than i enjoy being with you.”

tears start to form in your eyes.

“you don’t mean that.”

he shrugs, refusing to meet your gaze.

“maybe i do.”

your heart drops to your stomach.

“what the fuck is your problem, huh? you’re taking this too far.”

“why can’t you just accept it?”

“accept what?? i already apologized, keonho. what more do you want from me?”

“for you to be honest with me.”

“what does it matter anyway? our friendship can never go back to the way it was.”

“you’re ridiculous. get out.”

“…what?”

“i said get out.”

“keonho i—“

“get. out.”

a tear manages to escape your eyes as you turn to walk out the door, shoulders brushing with his.

the second you step out, you stop dead in your tracks.

it was raining really hard. you hesitated for a second before running out to get drenched. you thought that maybe if you stood in the rain, it would wash away all your troubles.

it would also be easier to hide the fact that your face is full of tears.

the door slams behind you and he finally stops holding in his breath. he knew he didn’t mean any of that.

watching you leave pained him so much. he couldn’t wrap his head around the sudden guilt he felt.

that’s when he started overthinking.

if you leave right now, will you ever be apart of his life again?

he can’t even begin to grasp life without you. he’s already been going crazy these past couple of days.

then it happens again.

that moment where his body acts before his mind does.

he can’t let you leave without telling you the truth.

he swings open the door and runs after you before yelling out your name.

“y/n! wait.”

you turn around, eyebrows furrowing as he runs towards you.

he stops a couple feet in front of you, hesitant to get closer. then he deeply sighs, running his hands through his already damp hair in frustration.

“i don’t want to be your fucking friend, y/n. i’m inlove with you. i love you.”

your eyes widen in absolute shock. you couldn’t even utter a single word out because before you know it, he’s pulling you into a passionate kiss. the rain pattered on the ground around you, the scent of it enveloping the two of you. you melt into the kiss instantly, your hands naturally finding the fabric of his shirt then eventually moving to the back of his neck. he kisses you even deeper as he cups your cheeks, pulling you impossibly closer to him. the kiss lasted longer than expected, the taste of his lips and the warm rain mixing together in perfect harmony. keonho couldn’t get enough. he was hungry for it. he wanted to prove to you through actions that he’s capable of loving you, and capable of being yours.

and you got the message, loud and clear.

his hands traveled to your waist as he pulled away from the kiss, foreheads still resting against each other. he closes his eyes and stifles out a laugh.

“we’re gonna catch a cold, aren’t we?”

“definitely.”

you chuckle and tighten your grip on his shoulders.

“i’m sorry about lying, keonho. i think i was just afraid—“

he kisses you again, refusing to hear anymore of it. you just give up and surrender completely to his lips. a moment later he pulls away, focusing his gaze directly on you and you only.

“as long as you tell me. right now. that you want to be with me, then i’ll forget everything you ever said. forever.”

you stare into his eyes, the raindrops lightly resting on his eyelashes and making him look even prettier.

“i want to be with you, keonho. i do want to date you.”

“perfect, then.”

if people saw how much i helped you brain storm 🤣🫱🫱 our chats every other night helping eachother brotatooo 🥹🥹

so for those who dont know, mina ( goes by sweeter_nk on twt ) is a japanese engene who went to a recent enhypen concert and brought flowers for sunki. she accidentally handed the sunflowers to sunoo, which were actually meant for ni-ki, and cried and urged sunoo to hand them over to ni-ki.

i dont know how such a small thing and very importantly a girl trying to appreciate her idols by bringing them flowers could possibly disturb so many engenes as far as to drive that poor girl to death. mind you, you're protecting 6 very privileged popular korean men from an innocent fangirl. they probably even forget about these stuff by the time they reach home.

your reckless and deeply insolent words about real people on the internet counts. being rude to someone is never a solution and especially to a girl who just wanted her flowers to reach her idol? have some fucking shame in yourself, this is beyond inhumane.

maybe everybody should spend their times doing something else rather than harrasing a poor girl on the internet for literally nothing.

enhypen doesn’t know you, they dont even care about you. and this is bitter but it is true because they're only artists theyre performers and why would they care about stuff like these. wasting your time on meaningless things like this only prooves your parasocialism and god, please recover.

kpop is never never never that serious to lose your morality over, to lose your sympathy and basic thinking skills over and to cost an innocent life.

➪ pairing : ot5 cortis x 6th member reader

➪ summary : a continuation to part one , part two , and part three. life's been different without you but what a loss is to a family, it's a new job for someone else.

➪ other notes : if the last part drove me insane, this one demolished me. i hope you guys like it because i really did try my best. creds to @/norvixa6 on tiktok for the analog horror imagery. also this is barely edited it's like 4 am but i tried my very best to check any typos.

“how has it been two months already and still the same information since the first week ?!” your mother screams, hands slamming down on the table. “ma’am please calm down,” officer park tries to deescalate the situation. “no, my daughter went missing two months ago and all any of you do is twiddlƒe with your thumbs instead of looking for her !” your mom cries. “we are doing everything in our power to find y/n, not a day goes by when we aren’t.”

tears start running down your mom’s face, there hasn’t been a single day where she’s had a moment in peace. her whole life halted by your disappearance. “i promise you, we will find y/n,” officer park gently pats your mom on the back, handing her a box of tissues. “we have a new detective working on the case, we are not giving up.” from a few feet away, your brother watches in silence. he’s grown used to how your mom constantly cries.

the car ride home is uncomfortably silent, your brother’s become the chauffeur of the family. your mom hasn’t been able to drive since you disappeared. home isn’t any louder. your shoes are still by the door, slowly collecting dust. your jacket still hangs over a chair, one your mom forgot to move when you forgot it after your last visit. now no one moves anything, how can they ? “mom go lie down for a bit, dinner is on me,” he says, mimicking the same soft tone she used on both of you as children.

“how about we get thai takeout instead ?” she suggests, a lump forms in your brother’s throat. “…yeah of course, whatever you want, i’ll let you know when it gets here,” he forces a smile, nodding. your mom makes her way upstairs before calling out, “oh and chul, if there’s anything new, let me know please.” chul nods, “yeah i will.” but he knows deep inside that there won’t be any updates, it’s just a waiting game with no prize to win.

chul spends most of his days like he did before everything. he attends his classes at his university, works as a cashier afterwards, and goes home to sleep. nothing about his routine has changed yet it feels 10 times more tiring. he can distract himself from thoughts about you during the day but as soon as night falls, everything hits him like a truck. he doesn’t cry, but he’s lucky if he gets three hours of sleep. he hates himself for just thinking of this but a part of him has grown to resent you.

not because you ran away, no that would have been easier because at least you would have told someone. but what is he supposed to think when you suddenly disappear ? he knows what the company said, but he doesn’t care. he knows you, he knows his sister, you would’ve never left. though he knows that making a claim against a multimillionaire company with no proof would only result in loss, financial and emotional.

and with the way finances are going, he’d rather not start anything. almost immediately after you disappeared, the company cut off any source of income, claiming that you had breached the contract. royalties you had been receiving for years even before debut were all cut off. with a mix of mom’s medicine, her medical bills, mortgage, groceries, and miscellaneous bills, chul tried his best to pick up as many shifts as possible.

not because they’re about to go completely broke, but because life was starting to become less comfortable. it’s weird to think that the youngest person in the family was the one responsible for most finances. when mom stopped working after her chronic pain became worse, you told her not to worry about it, that you’d take care of it. now instead of just worrying about his tuition payments, he has to make sure expenses don’t fall through the roof.

one night, chul stares at your bedroom door before opening it. he winces at the creak, remembering how you’d complain that he never oiled the hinges. he walks in, closing the door behind him. he doesn’t bother turning on the light, just sits on the floor next to your bed, letting his back feel the plushness against your mattress. even though you hadn’t lived at home in a long time, your room still looks the same as it did years ago.

the only difference now is that you’re not coming home at all. his hands dig into his hoodie pocket, revealing three things. nicotine gum, nicotine patches, and cigarettes. before you even debuted, chul had the habit of smoking cigarettes on a weekly basis. it helped with his stress as much as he didn’t want to admit he was addicted to it. you’d immediately cover your nose when he walked by, harshly scolding him. “you’re so disgusting chul,” he’d just roll his eyes, “well it’s a good thing you’re not the one doing it huh ?”

it would always end in an argument, until one day when he stopped altogether. “you know, second hand smoking is also bad, how am i supposed to sing if i’m breathing in your smoke ?” chul raised his eyebrows in confusion. “i smoke with the window open, what the hell are you talking about ?” “that doesn’t matter, that shit penetrates the walls !” you stomped your foot in frustration. “you won’t even live here in a month, you’re moving to the dorms.”

“okay then if it’s only a few weeks until i leave, quit for now and then you can continue ruining your lungs,” you crossed your arms. “are you worried about your lungs or mine ? make up your mind.” “i’m worried about all of us ! you know mommy can’t be breathing it in either,” you stated, flailing your arms. chul hummed, you made a good argument. so he finally made the decision to go cold turkey.

“okay, just until you leave, i’ll stop smoking and i promise that any future smoking will be done outside, how does that sound ?” chul smooshes his cigarette into his ash tray. you blink at him before smiling brightly, “really ?!” chul rolled his eyes, “yes really.” you immediately wrapped your arms around him, squeezing him tightly. “i knew you loved me !” your voice muffled against his shirt. “don’t get ahead of yourself,” he awkwardly patted your back.

it’s been almost three years since that conversation and since then, chul hadn’t smoked. the first two weeks without smoking were absolute hell, just the aspect of not having anything to wind down after a hard long day sent cold shivers down his spine. yet, he kept his promise, doing everything to fill that void. his oral fixation was satisfied when he shoved a chapstick between his lips, a little gross but it sufficed.

after you left, he challenged himself to try one more month of not smoking, just to prove to himself and to you that he wasn’t addicted. eventually that challenge became his lifestyle, clean lungs and no lingering smoke smell on his clothes. but now chul looks down at the floor in front of him. “fuck,” he curses to himself, biting his cheek hard enough to make it bleed. he just needs something real, anything to make that ache go away.

he picks up the gum packet, reading the instructions on the back, effective in 10-15 minutes. “who the hell waits that long ?” he drops them on the floor again before grabbing the patches, turning it over, effective in 2-4 hours. “are these fuckers trying to kill me or something ?” he scoffs, throwing them on the floor, this time with more force. he sighs, turning his gaze to the pack of cigarettes. he can’t, he can’t just give it all up right now…but he needs it.

“just one,” a wobbly smile forms on his face, shaky hands ripping off the plastic wrapping. then- BUZZZZ. “shit,” chul jolts, dropping the pack. he reaches again into his pocket, now pulling out his phone. it’s an unknown number listed under the police department. he immediately answers, “hello ?” an unfamiliar voice speaks, “good evening, is this chul l/n ?” chul sits up straight, reaching for the nicotine gum. “yes, this is him.”

“my name is detective kang hyeok-jin, i was assigned to your sister’s case about a week ago,” detective kang introduces himself. “i know it can be very frustrating and repetitive to answer the same questions but i’d like to get some details about y/n so i can understand her disappearance as best as i can.” chul shoves three nicotine gums into his mouth, face contorting in disgust. “yeah of course, i’ll answer anything if it helps you guys find my sister.”

across town, a sleep deprived hyeok-jin asks chul several questions. he writes them down in messy handwriting, just enough for him to understand. “thank you mr. l/n, this was very helpful. i’ll dedicate myself to finding your sister,” hyeok-jin grips the phone tighter. “you’re not the first one to say that…but i hope that you’ll actually help,” chul sighs into the phone, obviously tired out by these two past months.

“i’m sorry to hear that, i know it hasn’t been easy for your family, i’ll do everything i can to get her back,” hyeok-jin sets his pen down. a small pause comes from the other line “yeah…thank you for calling anyway.” even though they aren’t face to face, hyeok-jin can sense the hesitation and defeat in chul’s voice. “i’ll let you rest then, i’ll keep you updated on anything and everything, please save my number into your phone, and have a goodnight.”

“alright, thank you, goodnight,” without another beat, the line is cut. hyeok-jin lays his phone face flat onto his desk, rubbing his hands over his face. he’s been looking over this case for only a week and he’s beyond confused. everything that should be there is there but your case file is small to say the least. the longest document is the company’s statement and proof that you breached your contract and could even be sued.

everything else is just…there. “hey boy, you should head home, you’ve been here two hours overtime,” lieutenant baek sun-woo calls out to him. “i’ll go home soon ! i was just reviewing the case you gave me,” hyeok-jin gives his supervisor a tired smile. “don’t you have a wife and a kid to get home to ?” the lieutenant asks. “i actually don’t have a girlfriend sir,” that statement is immediately welcomed with an up and down stare, “well that explains a lot.”

hyeok-jin tilts his head in confusion, but doesn’t have enough time to reply before lieutenant baek bids his goodbye. “go home before any chance of having a girlfriend disappears completely.” hyeok-jin forces out a laugh, “yes sir !” a few minutes later, the office falls completely silent, the only sound coming from the light over his head. hyeok-jin looks back down at your case, furrowing his eyebrows. missing person report. photos of the cctv footage. company statement. lack of witness statements.

the more he thinks, the more he’s confused. he flips through the interviews of different people you were close with, your family, your members, even workers from your favorite stores. they all said the same thing : you would have never left out of your own will. except for one person. when asked by the police if it seems likely that you’d run away, edwards martin stated “i would like to say no but y/n has always been a complicated person, so i’m unsure.”

hyeok-jin leans back in his chair, it would’ve made sense if everyone or most people had the same idea of you but to only have one person, specifically the last person that saw you ? “hey you’re not heading out yet ?” a familiar voice grabs his attention, it’s officer kim. “i’m about to leave, was just looking over some things,” he smiles at her. “good, don’t overwork yourself,” she nods, walking closer to him. “actually since you’re here, were you at the scene during the investigation with that one idol ?” he asks, pushing the case file to his friend.

“no, i was off that day but i did hear some things about it, why ?” she flips through it. “it just seems weird, almost like it wasn’t…thoroughly investigated, everything is so short,” he hesitates on his words, not wanting to overstep a line. “i can’t say much about it honestly, missing person cases are always weird to handle especially when her company is contradicting it as a whole,” officer kim frowns. “yeah…i’ll look more into that, thanks though,” hyeok-jin sighs, grabbing the file from her.

“also, shouldn’t you also be going home too ?” he asks officer kim. “normally yes but they changed me to night shift, just until one of the guys gets back from paternity leave,” she shakes her head. “oh i see, well make sure to stock up on energy drinks and coffee,” he cracks a joke making officer kim snort. “will do, thanks, now go home and sleep before your brain gives out,” she clears her throat, giving him a small wave. “thanks, have a good shift !” once left alone again, hyeok-jin exhales. he’s tired and confused but he does know something, tomorrow’s a new day.

when chul wakes up, he groans in pain. how did you even sleep on your bed every night when you were little if it’s harder than a rock ?! your unicorn plushie is directly under his neck, your lion plushie is tucked between his armpit. he sits up, rubbing his eyes. on your nightstand is his nicotine products, unopened patches, opened gums, and half unwrapped cigarettes. he looks around your room now that the sun is peeking beyond the curtains. it almost makes him sick, he hates being here during the day where he can see the remnants of your memory as a child.

almost immediately, he fixes your bed before grabbing his things and leaving the room. he thinks he’ll die if he stays in there for another minute. when he goes downstairs, he sees mom, buttoning up her bright pink vest. “mom you’re already leaving ?” he asks, grabbing her purse. “early bird gets the worm honey,” she smiles, looking at him. “seeing you go out like this every day worries me,” chul expresses his discomfort.

“not knowing where your sister is worries me,” she ends his argument. “please be safe then, and don’t stand or walk for too long,” hyeok-jin gives the older woman a tight hug. “walking is good for me, you know that,” she shrugs him off, walking to the front door. mom’s been avoidant lately, less affectionate and more sad, not on purpose but because her mind is clouded by worrying about you. he wishes everything could be normal again.

when lieutenant baek invites hyeok-jin out for lunch, he almost refused. it was weird, not in a suspicious way but he had never had a supervisor buy him lunch. yet here he is, stuffing his mouth with meat. “so hyeok-jin, you came from jeju island right ?” lieutenant baek asks him. hyeok-jin nods, swallowing his food. “how come you came to seoul ? i’d die to live on jeju,” the lieutenant chuckles, sipping a bit of his soup.

“i heard seoul is a good place for detectives to grow,” he replies, awkwardly smiling. “really ? i heard there was a lot of crime there,” he shakes his head at his superior’s words. “no, we just have a lot of tourists and most of them are respectful but there’s a handful that just ruin it for everyone. and even then a lot of the crimes are straight forward, a little burglary here, a little fight there, it’s all very simple,” he sighs.

“no wonder you’re going all in for this missing girl case,” the older man chuckles. hyeok-jin places his chopsticks down, wiping his mouth with a napkin “actually i wanted to talk to you about that.” the lieutenant looks at him, eyebrow raised. “why…did you put me on y/n l/n’s case ? i appreciate it of course, it’s an honor but it’s a big case for a newcomer no ?” he asks, looking off to the side. lieutenant baek hesitates to answer before exhaling.

“it’s a big case but it’s also a dead end.” hyeok-jin’s puzzled by his answer. “what do you mean ?” “you know how you had simple cases in jeju ? it’s similar to this one…whether her family and friends want to admit it or not, the girl probably ran away. there’s no proof otherwise and it’d be hard for her company to fake something like that so boldly.” lieutenant baek explains his thinking, it’s clear by now that he’s set on this idea.

hyeok-jin shifts uncomfortably in his seat, unsure of what to say. “when you have your children, you’ll understand that this is the type of things teenagers do when they’re pent up,” his superior attempts to reassure him. “it doesn’t make sense though-” “please don’t think too much about it kid, digging into it will only waste your time.” hyeok-jin shuts his mouth, beginning to become irritated.

“besides let’s say worst case scenario, the company was involved since apparently that’s folks favorite theory, she’s probably living a good life down low. i mean, think about it, people do a lot for money, money talks and money runs the world.” the older man waves off the situation. instead of arguing and possibly losing his job, hyeok-jin calms himself down “if you say so…”

chul’s day was uneventful to say the least, the same long and boring routine. school and work, nothing to celebrate but nothing to complain about. that is until he had to pick up mom’s medicine. he walked in and out of the pharmacy three separate times, waiting for his check for that week to hit his bank account. when it finally does, he’s only left with a few thousand won afterwards, even with the coupon the pharmacist offered.

as fucked up as it sounds, he’s glad that only a few people know that he’s your brother. he can’t imagine the looks of pity and people whispering under their breath “poor guy, it must suck being him” or even “wow he’s an idol’s brother but he could barely afford medicine.” he’d probably die out of the embarrassment. when he reaches home, the sun’s already gone down.

he’s about to reach for his keys, but having the habit of checking if the door is unlocked gets to him first. surprisingly, it’s open. chul furrows his eyebrows, did mom forget to lock it ? he quietly steps inside, just in case something’s happening. “i wouldn’t possibly be able to accept that,” chul hears mom talking in the kitchen. “it’s really okay don’t worry, you’re basically my second mom,” oh it’s martin.

chul stands outside of the kitchen, listening quietly to the conversation. “y/n isn’t here but i know she would have wanted me to help,” martin tries to persuade mom on something. “but it’s so much money…” mom sighs. “exactly, and i’m guessing chul’s been paying for your medicine, so think about it like this : i’m not only helping you, i’m also helping him,” so that’s what this is about, mom’s medicine.

chul remembers the first time you met martin. it was during a hot summer day in august, both of you were sweaty in boiling heat. martin had approached you, offering to push you on the swing after seeing you fail to get momentum which later led into a game of tag. it was cute and wholesome. what chul didn’t expect was for this to blossom into a friendship, the kind every kid desires to have.

as years passed and both of you grew, martin still chased after you, almost like a person running alongside a butterfly. wherever you went, martin soon followed. he liked martin for the most part, especially because you also never had a bad thing to say about him. when chul found out you’d be in the same group, he was relieved you’d have a best friend beside you and also someone he trusts fully.

chul steps back when he hears footsteps approach the doorway. martin is startled back when he sees chul, “you scared me sorry,” he laughs, a smile forming on his face. “nice to see you too,” chul nods, leading him to the front door. “oh by the way,” chul stops martin just as he’s about to leave. “the police assigned a new detective to y/n’s case.” martin doesn’t turn around, he pauses for a second.

“is that so ?” he asks in a low voice. “yeah,” “that’s good,” martin nods, “let me know if they say anything new.” chul hums, “i will don’t worry, goodnight martin,” with nothing more to say, martin opens the front door and leaves. chul doesn’t blame martin for acting weird, everyone handles bad situations differently. he knows it’s been hard on martin, he can only hope the members are all united on this.

it’s been a month since lieutenant baek took hyeok-jin for lunch. over three months since you’ve been gone. hyeok-jin knows that his lieutenant told him not to dig around but can he just stay still ? unfortunately however, hybe and bighit have not cooperated whatsoever. not outright refusing, rather just not responding at all. phone calls to higher ups in the company lead to an hour wait only for the call to suddenly hang up.

he doesn’t have any luck getting paperwork from them either despite the multiple attempts of contact. public records were extremely shortened and difficult to find. it’s just been a full month of frustration and lack of response. he crumbles up a piece of paper, throwing it into the trash can next to his desk. “why even have a phone number if no one fucking answers,” he grumbles to himself. he leans his head against his hands, letting out an exasperated sigh.

hyeok-jin thinks of the lunch with his lieutenant, trying to remember every word from that conversation. he doesn’t think lieutenant baek meant any harm, but the conversation still bothered him. he thinks of something the lieutenant said at the end of their conversation. “money talks.” he doesn’t have anything else to go off of, just hopes and dreams. his fingers tap against his desk, eyes landing on his computer.

he remembers something his professor said years ago “if you can’t follow people, follow the money.” so he leans forward, clicking through different government sites. “if no one wants to talk to me or answer my questions, i guess i’ll ask the numbers.” it’s his very last hunch, otherwise he’d be just like the past detectives that were handed this case. he can’t give up this easily without checking every end of a clue, he promised your brother that he’d try his best.

chul’s morning started off extremely rough. he was already late for his class, one which he had a test for. mom screamed at him for no reason other than the fact that it’s officially been three months since you went missing. he doesn’t blame her or argue back, he just wishes that she could see he’s also struggling just as much as she is. “i’m sorry mom,” he apologizes even though he has no reason to.

mom cries, “just go to school, i want to be alone,” she sniffles. “okay, i love you,” he leaves before she can say anything else. he runs the fastest he can to his university, missing the first half of his class. he apologizes to the professor, earning a harsh scolding. “i’m so sorry, can i still do the exam please ?” “it’s your time, not mine,” she rolls her eyes, handing him a copy of the test and a scantron. he exhales in relief, sitting down at his seat. he takes a deep breath, putting his pencil to the paper.

grades are put into the system almost as soon as class ends. chul fails the test horribly. not barely, horribly. he got a 15 on it, the worst he’s ever done on anything. it’s so bad he even agrees to have lunch with his friends, anything to try and cheer himself up. but all his friends seem to ask him about is how his family is doing. before you debuted, he had commented to his friends that his little sister was going to be in a kpop group, a mistake he now realizes.

“we’re fine,” chul bites into his sandwich, one his friend had bought him a few minutes ago. “bro if you ever need our help, we’re here for you,” his friend with glasses says as the others nod. “have you, you know, been online lately ?” his other friend with dyed hair asks, earning a shove from chul’s favorite gym bro. “i don’t like reading any of that shit, just jobless nobodies saying shit about my sister,” chul shakes his head.

“that’s good man, i seen a lot of shit a-and i don’t think your sister was like that but like i don’t know people be talking,” dyed hair rambles on. chul ignores him, not wanting to continue talking about you. “do you think talking about her will do you some good ?” glasses asks in a softer tone. “if he doesn’t want to talk about her then let’s not force him,” gym bro comes to chul’s defense. chul gives him a small smile before looking back at his sandwich.

quiet fills the table until dyed hair breaks it with a scoff. “i’m sorry but i have to talk about it, your mom’s out there protesting that nothing is being done for your missing sister but you don’t want to talk about it ? instead of defending her ? do you know what people are saying about her ? that she ran away, not to mention they’re also saying she was the yoko ono of the group-” chul stands up, chair scraping against the floor.

“shut your fucking mouth.” chul warns his friend, the others shocked by his sudden demeanor. “just because your girlfriend goes out and fucks a new guy every weekend doesn’t mean my sister was like that. what do you want me to say huh ? oh i think my sister got kidnapped ! oh i think my sister might have been trafficked ! oh i think my sister might be dead ! it’s been three fucking months and i know nothing, she’s all i think about !” chul’s voice breaks at the end.

“and from what it seems, you don’t know anything about me, let alone my sister so the next time you say anything about her, i’ll beat you to a pulp,” chul warned dyed hair before grabbing his backpack and leaving the cafeteria. no one calls out for him or chases to stop him, not that he was expecting that to begin with. he soon leaves campus, jittery and overwhelmed. chul can feel tears brim his eyes, vision becoming blurry.

as soon as he’s off school grounds, he dumps his backpack out. pencils, notebooks, folders, even his laptop falling onto concrete ground. he frantically reaches his hand into his bag, pulling out a pack of cigarettes and his lighter. he’s hyperventilating at this point, on the brink of having a panic attack. fuck being sober, fuck anything and everything. he puts the cigarette between his lips, lighter shaking in his hand as he lights it.

the first drag burns his lungs, almost like the first time he smoked. in 10 seconds, his heart rate and breathing slow down. but even when chul releases the smoke from his mouth, the ache in his soul and tears in his eyes don’t disappear, it only makes things worse. he thinks of you and how angry you would be at him right now. he reaches for his phone, trembling fingers scrolling through his contacts, pressing to call.

“martin,” chul’s voice is wobbly as the younger boy answers the phone almost immediately. “hey what’s wrong ?” martin asks, hearing quiet sniffling on the other hand. “i know that you might be busy but i really need to talk to you,” chul cries into the phone. “i’m on break, i have to go back soon but what happened ?” “today’s y/n’s three months since she went missing and everyone’s just talking about her like she’s gone forever and i don’t know what to do anymore, i just fucking smoked after quitting for three years,” he sobs, cigarette burning between his fingers.

“and you of all people know y/n wouldn’t have ran away,” he continues tethering between anger and heartbreak. when chul allows martin to talk, martin is silent to the point where chul think the call ended. “hello ?” “i’m sorry chul, i…i can’t say much, i…” chul doesn’t know why martin is responding so weirdly. “what are you saying ?” “i-i’m saying that i don’t know, everything’s just so…confusing- i’m sorry i have to go, i need to get back to practice,” martin cuts the conversation short.

“what ?” chul asks, softly hiccuping. “i put in the money for your mom’s medication, i’m sorry i can’t say anymore, bye,” before chul can respond, martin hangs up. chul looks down at his phone, “thanks anyway,” he mumbles to himself, tears running down his face. this isn’t the boy you talked so positively about. this isn’t the boy he’s known since martin was 12. chul can’t recognize martin anymore, the real martin would have fought for you.

that night, hyeok-jin stares at the papers in front of him, heart thumping against his ribs. the numbers didn’t add up. mixing or falsified tax records. training expenses that never existed or seemed exaggerated. payments to shell companies. contracts rewritten after signatures had been made. he was right, there was more than what meets the eyes, there’s years of fraud. how has no one noticed this ? …did they ever notice this ? his discovery is soon cut short when he hears running footsteps down the hall.

he snaps his head to the side, seeing multiple officers dashing. “detective kang !” officer kim sprints into the room. “you need to come with us right now,” she looks completely out of breath. “what happened, what’s going on ?!” his stomach drops as he gets up from his seat. “one of the cortis members…he had an accident,” she struggles to catch her breath. hyeok-jin’s confused, what does that have to do with him ?

“i mean is he okay ? but i’m not a cop so why do i-” “that’s not the reason why you have to come along,” she interrupts him. “we found y/n.” hyeok-jin freezes, eyes widening, “found ?” his friend nods. so many thoughts cross his mind yet he can only ask one question. “is she alive ?” his voice comes out quieter than intended. officer kim looks at him, her parted lips let out an exhale before pressing into a thin line.

both of my mooties posted in the same day and it’s both fics i’ve been waiting for 😛😛