#cortis angst

keonho wasn’t like martin or seonghyeon because well.. he didn’t like you.

keonho is like a little brother to you and james so he’s always around just watching the two boys trip over you.

“you don’t get tired of your friends obsessing over your sister?” keonho sighs as him and james are at dinner together.

james just shrugs looking up from the menu“they’ve been like this since we were kids i just gave up.”

“which one would you want her to pick?” keonho asks casually sipping his soda while looking over at james.

“honestly-“ before james can even reply his phone goes off “hello?”

“is keonho with you?” you ask through video call as you’re outside walking.

“yeah?” he hums.

“okay me and juhoon are coming” you smile showing juhoon who leans closer to get in the frame waving.

james didn’t even question it as you’re always watching his location.

when you both arrive the food is already there and you casually slide in sitting beside them “how’s dinner going?”

“good but i’m assuming you want me to buy you dinner?” james sighs and you smile.

“i could buy your dinner” juhoon hums and you shake your head “it’s fine jju you don’t have to.”

“how do you have all of my friends falling to their knees for you and you still always want me to pay and drive you?” james questioned “juhoon literally knows how to drive..”

“but jju probably wouldn’t want to drive me everywhere and you’re my brother” you hum.

“i wouldn’t mind picking you up for school” juhoon shrugs.

“do you have a crush on y/n too??” keonho jokes and juhoon laughs “i don’t know.. we would look better together than the other two.”

you nudge him for teasing “see he has his moments where he’s so cocky” you scoff as he laughs in your face.

“not you too jju” james jokes and juhoon waves him off speaking playfully “i think martin and seonghyeon are enough.”

“more than enough” keonho sighs.

“me and jju planned on getting a sweet treat do you guys wanna come?” you ask after you guys finish eating and pay.

“just bring me something home” james shrugs and you guys split ways.

right when you and juhoon leave james can already tell keonho is about to say something stupid “don’t even..”

“what if i dated her?” keonho jokes and james actually laughs at that “good joke.”

you sighed dramatically before insisting you were fine and that you’d grab something later. “later,” he repeated. “your favorite word.” you tried to hide your grin, but it slipped through anyway. “i’m serious.” “so am i,” you replied, tapping your keyboard again.

without another word, he disappeared into the kitchen. you assumed he’d given up until the unmistakable sound of cupboards opening and pans clinking reached you. five minutes later, the smell of garlic and butter drifted through the apartment, pulling your attention away from the screen despite your best efforts.

james leaned against the doorway, arms folded. “come eat.” you shook your head immediately. “i just need another twenty minutes.” he checked the clock. “you said that forty minutes ago.”

“i’m almost done,” you insisted. “you always are.” he wasn’t teasing; if anything, his voice carried the patience of someone who’d had this exact conversation dozens of times. “you’ll think better after you eat.” you clicked your tongue, refusing to move.

“james.”

“what?”

“stop treating me like i’m helpless.”

that should’ve ended the conversation, but pride had a funny way of making simple things difficult. you crossed your arms and looked back at your screen, pretending to reread the same sentence for the fifth time. james didn’t argue. he simply walked over, slid the chair beside yours out, and sat down.

the silence stretched comfortably between you until you finally sighed. “you’re not leaving, are you?” he smiled without looking up from the notebook he’d picked up. “probably not.”

you tried to outlast him. ten minutes passed. then fifteen. every few minutes he’d glance over, watching you rub your eyes or erase the same line repeatedly. eventually he reached across the table and nudged your pencil away. “you’re making the same mistake because you’re tired.” you frowned. “no, i’m not.” he quietly turned the notebook toward himself, circled the spot you’d missed, and slid it back.

you blinked at it for a moment before letting out the smallest, most reluctant laugh. “…’kay. maybe a little.”

“there she is,” he said, standing up again. “come on.”

this time, instead of arguing, you simply groaned dramatically as you followed him into the kitchen. the food was already plated, and he’d somehow remembered exactly how you liked it without asking. he passed you a fork before taking the seat across from you. “see?” he said. “the world didn’t end because you stepped away for fifteen minutes.”

you rolled your eyes. “you’re so annoying.” “i’ve been called worse.”

halfway through dinner, you caught him reaching for your empty mug. “i’ll wash that,” you said automatically. james was already at the sink.

“sit.”

“james—”

“sit.”

there wasn’t an ounce of sharpness in his voice, only the kind of calm certainty that made arguing feel pointless. you watched him rinse the dishes while talking about something funny that had happened at work earlier that week, purposely steering the conversation away from deadlines and assignments until you were laughing hard enough to forget what had been stressing you out in the first place.

when everything was cleaned up, you wandered back toward your desk only to find your notebooks stacked neatly, your charger untangled, and your scattered pens gathered into a mug. james noticed your expression immediately. “before you complain,” he said, “i didn’t touch the order of your notes. i know better than that.” you looked over the desk, realizing he’d somehow organized the mess without actually moving anything important.

“you’re impossible,” you murmured. “experienced,” he corrected with a grin.

the work that had felt impossible earlier suddenly came together much faster than expected. james stayed beside you, not hovering, just existing in the same room with a book in his lap and one leg stretched out toward your chair.

every so often he’d glance up to ask if you wanted more water or if your neck was hurting from sitting too long. the questions were small, almost forgettable, but they made the evening feel lighter. there was something comforting about knowing someone cared enough to notice the things you forgot to notice yourself.

by the time you finished, the apartment had gone dark except for the warm lamp beside the couch. you leaned back with a satisfied sigh before turning toward james. “i guess… thanks.” he raised an eyebrow. “guess?” you laughed and walked over, slipping your arms around his waist.

“thank you.” he rested his chin lightly against the top of your head, holding you for a long moment without saying anything.

then, almost absentmindedly, he brushed a few strands of hair away from your face. “you don’t have to do everything alone,” he murmured. “i know you’re capable. that was never the point.”

you looked up at him, feeling slightly embarrassed that he’d been right from the beginning. “i just don’t like asking for help.” james nodded as though he’d known that long before you admitted it. “then don’t ask.” you blinked. “i’ll notice.”

his smile was small, warm, and impossibly reassuring. “you don’t have to earn being looked after.” before you could think of anything clever to say back, he pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead and reached for your hand.

“now,” he said, intertwining your fingers with his, “how about we spend the rest of the night doing absolutely nothing?”

pensieri the layout is ass i’m sorry 😢 i made it in a rush because i haven’t posted in so long :P

JAMES

bf!james who keeps random little things that remind him of you. it could be a receipt from a place you went together, a photo you took that he really liked, or a tiny note you left behind. he isn’t sentimental in the obvious ways, but he has a tendency of holding onto moments like these because it means a lot to him.

bf!james who always checks if you’re comfortable before making plans. he’ll ask if you’re tired, if you’ve eaten, if you actually want to go out or you’d rather stay in. he wants spending time together to feel easy, not like something you have to force yourself into.

bf!james who sends random things that make him think of you without needing a reason. a random video, a song he found, a picture of something funny he saw while he was out. sometimes the message is only a few words, but it’s his way of saying you crossed his mind.

bf!james who tried to learn the things you care about, even if they aren’t things he doesn’t normally pay attention to. if you’re excited about something, he wants to understand why. he’ll ask questions, remember details, and bring it up later because loves seeing you get passionate about things.

bf!james who is the type to celebrate your small wins seriously. you finished something you were stressed about? he’s proud of you. you did something you were nervous about? he’d tell you that you handled it well. he never makes you feel like your achievements are “too small” to notice.

JUHOON

bf!juhoon who never missed an opportunity to reach for your hand. crossing the street, standing in line, walking through a crowd — it almost comes naturally to him. sometimes he doesn’t even notice he’s doing it until his fingers are already intertwined with yours.

bf!juhoon who finds every excuse to keep you close for another minute. if you’re about to leave, he’ll ask one more question, tell you one more story, or pull you back over because he remembered he “forgot” to tell you something. deep down, he just hates ending your time together.

bf!juhoon who looks at you first whenever something good happens. if he hears exciting news, wins something, or has a funny story to tell, you’re the person he searches for without thinking. sharing every happy moment with oh becomes second nature.

bf!juhoon who adores hearing your voice, even if you’re talking about the most ordinary part of your day. you could ramble about school, something your friend said, or what you had for lunch, and he’s listening with the biggest smile.

bf!juhoon who has this habit of brushing his thumb across your hand whenever you’re together. it’s such a small gesture that most people wouldn’t notice, yet it’s his silent reminder that you’re right there with him.

SEONGHYEON

bf!seonghyeon who falls asleep easier whenever he knows you’re okay. if you text him that you made it home, finished what you needed to do, or finally got into bed after a long day, he feels completely at ease. it’s the last thing he wants to know before ending his own day.

bf!seonghyeon who always notices when you’re staring at something for more than a few seconds. whether it’s a book, a dessert in a bakery window, or something in a shop, he catches it every time. weeks later, it somehow ends up in your hands because he remembered.

bf!seonghyeon who slows his pace to match yours. whether you’re wandering around a bookstore, shopping, or simply taking the long way home, he never rushes ahead. he enjoys the extra time together more than getting anywhere quickly.

bf!seonghyeon who makes space for you without saying a word. if you walk into a room, he’s already shifting over so you can sit beside him, opening the door before you reach it, or moving your chair a little closer. it’s become second nature, and he doesn’t even realize he’s doing it anymore.

bf!seonghyeon who has an amazing memory when it comes to your routines. he knows what time you’re usually finished with school, when you’re probably studying, and when you’re most likely asleep, so he never expects instant replies.

KEONHO

bf!keonho who keeps track of the little things you mention wanting to do together. one day he’ll randomly text, “we still haven’t done that,” because he actually remembers every plan the two of you made, even the ones you brought up months ago.

bf!keonho who lets you borrow his clothes without expecting them back anytime soon. weeks later, he’ll see you wearing one of his hoodies and grin because it somehow looks better on you. if you accidentally keep it forever, he isn’t complaining.

bf!keonho who asks for your opinion on things that actually matter to him. new haircut, clothes, a project he’s working on, even small decisions. he trusts your judgment, so hearing what you think genuinely helps him decide.

bf!keonho who never lets your birthday, anniversaries, or important dates become last-minute plans. he’ll have everything sorted well before you even start wondering if he’s remembered. he’s the type who enjoys planning because he wants the day to feel special from beginning to end.

bf!keonho who naturally includes you in conversations with other people. if someone asks him about his weekend, he’ll mention the museum you went to together or the restaurant you tried.

pensieri this is a lot guys i’m sorry 😭 but updates will be a bit slower since i’m traveling, this is kind of me making up for it 🫰

compared to martin you and seonghyeon were more of the bickering type.

“i get the front i’m older!” you pout as you and seonghyeon both lean on the door of your brothers car as most days he’ll bicker with you knowing he’d gladly give you the front seat.

james often has to drive you and seonghyeon to school since you both tend to sleep in.

most days you both just settle for the backseat and just sleep sprawled out together.

most weeks your parents let him and his sister stay over while their parents are out of town so you guys occasionally have sleepovers.

tonight was one of those nights where his parents were out of town and his sister stayed with friends so when you open the door and see him you playfully pout “oh it’s just you..”

“whatever” he scoffs as you both smile like idiots as you pull him in.

“minecraft?” you ask as if you didn’t already set it up.

“nah” he says flopping on the couch scrolling on his phone and you just sit beside him scoffing “go home.”

he just laughs in your face and you try not to laugh “play with me seriously!!”

“okay fine i guess” he laughs moving closer to you and the whole time you guys are playing he tries to be your knight in shining armor.

“hyeon i can make my sword and armor myself you don’t have to do it for me” you scoff and he just shrugs before handing you his diamond sword and you decide to just kill him with it.

since seonghyeon stayed the weekend he decides to walk to school with you which normally martin does so now you’re just walking to the bus stop with both of them while they yap.

“it’s kinda cold today” you say mostly to yourself barely audible and they both quickly slide their jackets off but you don’t even pay any mind as you just slide james’ old jacket on.

when you get on the bus you sit beside the window and martin quickly slides beside you before seonghyeon and he smirks before wrapping an arm around your shoulder “are you cold?”

before you can reply seonghyeon gives you his gloves and hand warmers “just in case” he hums and martin just scoffs before putting his earmuffs on you.

“i’m kinda hot actually” you hum removing his earmuffs and handing seonghyeon his gloves and hand warmers back as you get off at the next stop and just walk to school leaving the two looking crazy on the bus.

the way he said it made you smile despite yourself. he kept glancing at the screen as if he still couldn’t believe you were there, even though you had video called almost every night since the distance started.

“you look tired,” he said after a moment, his expression softening. “did you sleep enough?”

you shrugged. “maybe.”

“maybe?” he raised an eyebrow. “that’s not an answer.”

you laughed. “are you my boyfriend or my mom?”

“your boyfriend,” he replied. “a boyfriend who cares about you and is unfortunately stuck on the other side of the world.”

you could hear the small hint of frustration in his voice, the kind he tried to hide. long distance wasn’t easy. there were days when he wished he could just show up at your door, steal you away for a few hours, and not have to rely on a screen. tonight was one of those days.

“i miss you,” he admitted, resting his chin against his hand. “i miss doing normal things with you.”

“normal things?”

“yeah,” he said. “getting food together. Walking around the city. annoying you in person instead of through a phone.”

you smiled. “oh, you annoy me plenty through the phone.”

that earns you a huff. “good. at least i’m consistent”

you both laughed, and for a while, the conversation moved naturally from random stories about your days to little details you would usually forget to mention. he told you about something funny that happened earlier, music that he was working on then immediately changed the subject because he wanted to hear about yours instead.

at some point, you had noticed he had been staring at the screen for a little too long.

“what?” you asked.

“nothing.”

“martin.”

he smiled, looking away for a second before looking back. “i’m just looking at you.”

“hmm, that’s weird.”

“no it isn’t,” he grinned. “am i not allowed to look at my girlfriend?”

“you’re acting like you haven’t seen me before.”

“i haven’t seen you in person in forever,” he corrected. “the screen doesn’t count.”

there was something about the way he said it that made your teasing disappear. he wasn’t trying to make you feel guilty; he was just being honest. he missed being close to you. he missed the little moments that couldn’t happen through a call.

as the call got later, neither of you seemed ready to end it. you both knew you had to sleep eventually, but hanging up meant going back to missing each other.

“stay five more minutes,” he said.

“martin, you said that twenty minutes ago. i… am tired.”

the two of you stayed there a little longer, talking about nothing and everything at the same time. even with miles between you, it still felt familiar.

you kept yawning, and of course, martin noticed that you were, actually, tired, and not trying to get off call.

“goodnight,” you finally said.

martin smiled. “goodnight. call me tomorrow?”

“obviously.”

“okay. i just needed to hear you say it.”

you laughed, and before ending the call, he leaned closer to the camera.

“i love you.”