KENISH

Anyway this old man yaoi got me by the fucking throat.

Pairing: Michael "Robby" Robinavitch x Jack Abbot Words: 6,424 Rating: M (detailed kink play, but no sex)

Ground rules: No work talk. No sexual contact. No derogatory nicknames. No submission. The briefs stay on, and no touching over the briefs. Most of these rules were Robby’s, the carefully constructed parameters that allowed him to let his guard down just enough to have these sessions with Jack. If he were more honest with himself—and he rarely was—he would admit that there were times he wished he could let himself ask more of Jack. What would it be like to actually let Jack boss him around, or touch him, or kiss him…or… Hold him?

My first fic for da Pitt! Emotional repression and kink do not mix well, as Robby finds out. Good thing Jack's smart enough to figure out what Robby really needs.

Robby, who has spent the entire season white knuckling his way through the day, who defaults to deflection when asked about his sabbatical and rapidly deteriorating mental health, just… folds. Almost immediately. The second Jack corners him and names it, the second Jack looks at him and says, plainly, that what he’s doing is reckless and stupid, Robby doesn’t fight him on it. There’s no argument, no ego. He just breaks. Like part of him was waiting to be seen that clearly, that honestly. And it's different than with Duke, or even maybe with Dana, because Jack understands exactly where Robby is coming from, and so Robby tells him, in probably the most open and honest exchange we've seen from him all season.

And Jack—Jack, who is so often the steadier presence, the one doing the grounding—can’t even get through it without his voice catching, on the brink of tears. The emotion sneaks up on him in real time. It’s not abstract concern, it’s not professional frustration; it’s something incredibly, overwhelmingly intimat. The idea of Robby not being there—not in the ED, not in the world—feels unthinkable to him, it looks like it causes him actual distress, and you can hear that realization land as he’s speaking.

What gets me is how reciprocal it is. There’s no imbalance in that moment. They meet each other in the exact same place: stripped down, honest, unable to hide behind the roles they usually occupy. Jack doesn’t soften the truth to protect Robby, and Robby doesn’t deflect to protect himself. And they cry, and they trust each other enough to be that honest, that exposed.

but hear me out. robby takes in baby jane doe (yes, I am aware his mental health is bad and this is a bad idea but let me live in fantasy land) and he brings her to jack's and they are fostering her together and eventually they are like we should keep her and I dunno how naming kids who have no name and no birth certificate works but I propose:

It starts as like a joke. Robby jokes about how like she's a baby jane doe. A doe is a female deer. Yes, I know the doe in john/jane doe jas nothing to do with deer but we're in MY house right now. He calls her baby fawn. A baby deer. And the name sticks. Fawn Abbot-Robinavitch.

Robby: What??

Dana: How long have you been sleeping with Jack?