alabee @kelzorzen - Tumblr Blog

don being DISGUSTED by the thought of naming his son Gene

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litquake

befrecktaling

Dorothy Parker sends a telegram to her editor.

song-of-the-spheres

Never have so wanted anything to be good and all I have is a pile of paper covered with wrong words.

#writing

bonemachinetheoperatorsmanual-d

kelzorzen

pretty accurate representation of the Italian Market tbh

#It's always sunny in philadelphia

ponett

Visit Original Link

this is one of the funniest questions i’ve ever heard the mcelroys get on this show

#fancyflowerboy

dongstomper-deactivated20161230

anybody wanna watch an 8 minute video on the 4 different systems governing when a character blinks in super mario 64?

dongstomper-deactivated20161230

then you’re missing the fuck out

kelzorzen

oddly dope

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linoleumceiling

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When I heard the knock on the door I couldn’t catch my breath. Is it too late to call this off? We could slip away, wouldn’t that be better? Me with nothing to say, and you in your autumn sweater. I tried my best to hide. In a crowded room, it’s nearly possible, I wait for you, oh, most patiently.

We could slip away, wouldn’t that be better? Me with nothing to say, and you in your autumn sweater.

#yo la tengo

Justin: is this a case of straightaphobia?

Travis: what do you call it when you're prejudiced against straight dudes?

Griffin: it doesn't- it's called nothing. It's called nothing at all. It's called not a thing at all. It's called not anything that anyone should worry about.

#mbmbam #<3

thekwikemart

#the simpsons

diasyrmus

I sometimes fear that people might think that fascism arrives in fancy dress worn by grotesques and monsters as played out in endless re-runs of the Nazis. Fascism arrives as your friend. It will restore your honour, make you feel proud, protect your house, give you a job, clean up the neighbourhood, remind you of how great you once were, clear out the venal and the corrupt, remove anything you feel is unlike you…It doesn’t walk in saying, “Our programme means militias, mass imprisonments, transportations, war and persecution.”

Michael Rosen

(via

femmesorcery

)

I think it would be a good time for some people to watch the original ‘V’ mini-series. If you can’t see it from history or outside your door, maybe you’ll see it better as a sci-fi allegory.

(via queencaro)

civilwarswiss

#tru #bob's burgers

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pomegranate

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Adam Scott’s rules for exercising (x)

#are there tears in your eyes?#cbb

justwaitingformrdarcy

Side effects of reading a Jane Austen novel

An improved vocabulary

A general feeling of happiness

A higher set of expectations for a possible partner

A hatred for the names Wickham and Collins

An enthusiasm for dancing

A love for introverted male leads

A fear of going out in the rain, as it may lead to a very serious illness

A desire to take walks in the countryside

A newfound love for the word “ardently”

sixpenceee

The first insulin pump in 1963 compared to the modern one.

red-stocking

I WANNA PRINT THIS OUT SO THAT WHEN PEOPLE START TALKING ABOUT HOW TECHNOLOGY IS RUINING YOUNG PEOPLE AND FUTURE GENERATIONS I GET TO SHOW THEM THIS

jackhawksmoor

in 1963 we had to get insulin for diabetics from freaking pigs ( it took TWO TONS of pig to make 8oz of insulin)

today we produce insulin with the same amino sequence as human insulin from genetically modified yeast and bacteria

but hey, technology is bad fire is scary and Thomas Edison was a witch so what do I know

od-kahane-chai-deactivated20170

The goddamn Apple Store is so fucking trendy these motherfuckers don’t even use cash registers anymore. Like holy shit why would I ever want to wait in line to pay for my immensely overpriced lightning bolt-to-usb cable, when I can wander around aimlessly looking for the one bearded top knot in the grey shirt who happens to have a card reader attached to his free iPhone 6? Literally fucking walked up a dude and was like ‘Yo where’s the till?’ And guy looks at me straight in the fucking face and says, ‘Oh well, there should be one or two people walking around on either side of the store who can process your payment.’ ALL OF YOU DRESS EXACTLY THE SAME! Am I supposed to accost every single goddamn one of you until I finally find the one goddamn fucking anthropomorphisized Mac Computer who is willing to let me pay for this shit? And when I finally find the dude and let him tap his shit against the box that I’m trying to purchase, of course he gives me the smuggest fucking smile I’ve ever seen on a human face and asks, ‘Would you like to use Apple Pay?’ Like GOOD LORD can we please just take a step outside of your möbius fucking circle jerk and let me hand you fifteen pounds in cash? Cash money? Real fucking physical fucking tender? No it’s okay, I don’t need a fucking receipt. What, you mean you’re going to print me a real receipt? A physical receipt that I can carry in my pocket? You’re not gonna beam it to my fucking wrist? You’re not going to send it via dropbox to an undisclosed fucking IP Address where I have to complete a CAPTCHA and accept your terms and conditions for the one millionth time in order to check that, yes, I did just spend £20 pounds and 45 minutes on a thin wire made of plastic and metal that’s gonna break in a month anyway? I JUST DONT UNDERSTAND THIS PLANET ANYMORE

femmefrizzle-deactivated2018072

hands down the best review I have ever seen on goodreads

#um this #goodreads

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