Blurbs From Head Which Don't Fit

WHAT THE FUCK IT’S CHRISTMAS EVE WHY DID SOMEONE REBLOG THIS

I still can't get over vladdy making bo tip his cap. like he's fully head down, face blank, trying to politely acknowledge the fanbase while moving on with his at bat and then he locks eyes with sir mimes-a-lot over at first and suddenly he's all bashful smurf expressing genuine happiness as if it wasn't like pulling teeth to get this kind of emotion out of him for the last seven years.

Sportsnet is doing a whole dead wife montage of Bo and Vladdy where they're somehow both the dead wife

Turns out the scheming eunuch's love for you is genuine

today I found out my mother doesn’t know what dandelions are and now I’m wondering what other strange secrets she’s been quietly harboring

Where do you live that you don’t have dandelions?

we have dandelions EVERYWHERE, they are basically our State Weed, it is absolutely impossible that my mom has never interacted with a dandelion before, this requires further investigation

See, folks in the southern US will tell you up and down those are buttercups, actually.

Wait I thought those bigger cup ones were Easter Lillies???

They’re marigolds and I know a bitch when I see one!

….we need to start taking the phrase “go touch grass” more literally. go outside and examine a flower i beg u

Phm from Adrian's perspective is just what if you were Penelope and Odysseus came home but he also brought a jellyfish and keeps begging you to build a fish tank for the jellyfish and make jellyfish food for the jellyfish and youre an ancient Greek whos never seen a jellyfish and you cant even comprehend how your going to do it but youre going to because if you dont Odysseus may kill himself. And also the jellyfish can do like. Witchcraft.

feeling rage rn so bad. why do white sports fans make everything about their fav white guy. there will literally be a man of color doing something and they will always be in the tags goin “ugh if only John smith would do this” SHUTUP AND EAT THE FOOD YOUVE BEEN SERVED OR DONT SAY ANYTHIJG AF AL

mitch garver breasts boobily around the bases after a 3 run home run