whiskey princess

I love how the episode is called “Chidi Sees the Time Knife”  but it has no bearing whatsoever on the plot

Sometimes you write a line and you’re just like “oh yeah, that’s a banger” and that is almost CERTAINLY what happened here

baby girl your kitchen floor is littered with garlic skins

die hard broken glass scene for dracula

Me when its 1 day after Halloween and the capitalists are already blasting the christmas sale commercials

why are jason’s only solutions for any problem either ‘molotov cocktail’ or ‘marriage’

He’s got the the face of a Greek god and the problem solving ability of one too

"AITA? My (36M) girlfriend (22F)" YTA

if u have curly hair and someone tells you that you look better with it straight? that's a demon speaking to u baby

my mom once told me i was a ski jumper in a past life because she dreamed about a ski jumper dying in a terrible accident when she was pregnant with me, and said it was definitely true cause the ski jumper in her dream was also blonde. i never had the heart to tell her this is absolutely not something catholics can believe.

salt & vinegar chips are snacks for fucking masochists. literally the entire flavour of the goddamn chip is “acetic acid, which will hurt your tongue, and then just salt on top of that to hurt it worse”. it’s brutal. this chip is designed to hurt you

yeah and it kicks ass

I have a lot of problems with my mom but in high school I wore a jesse pinkman shirt that said “yeah bitch” to class and they called my mom about it on speaker with me in the room and when they told her she said “who fucking care. stop calling me. bye bye” and hung up