Family don't end in blood!

Supernatural

Dean Winchester

Sam Winchester

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Sam and I stared at each other for several beats before he called out, "Is there someone here with us?"

"It's a warded magical bunker - nothing is here with us Sam."

He leveled a stare in my direction, "Yeah, and the floor isn't slanted so why is this pencil rolling around suddenly?"

"I don't know but the bunker isn't haunted," I scoffed. "Maybe it was an earthquake."

"It's not."

"And how would you know, Samuel?"

"Because we have all kinds of sensors and alarms in this place and since earthquakes are one of the signs of the Apocalypse that's tracked," he paused, "Have you heard any alarms going off today?"

"No, but you don't have to be such a smart-ass about it."

I knew deep down it couldn't be but for a split second I swore I heard and felt Dean laugh - that full-body happy laugh that I missed so much the past few months.

That was when a niggle of a thought tried to poke into my brain - but I pushed it away - I wanted Dean back but not as a ghost.

I ignored the obvious fact - on purpose - burning whatever was tethering Dean and keeping him from moving on would be the final nail in the proverbial coffin - he'd be gone forever. Although at some point he could become vengeful and then we'd have to cross that bridge.

'Nope it has to be a coincidence - I've been stressed and lost in my grief.'

Dean's POV

I watched her face go through about a thousand emotions before coming to rest at the most neutral expression she could muster.

I wondered if my laughter had caught her - had she felt or heard it? Was she realizing that she had a ghost following her? Would she finally do the right thing and burn my belongings?

I also wondered what exactly it was that was holding me here - if we still had Bobby's flask I'd assume it was that but I never thought I'd be that attached to anything for it to tether me - well shit, there might be one thing…

The thought of her having to burn Baby made my gut churn but if that's what it took to keep her and Sammy safe then they'd just have to do it!

I watched her stand up and go off to her room - I tried to follow but she shut and locked the door. I felt bad being locked out but I couldn't blame her for needing to be alone after she figured it out.

I did try to jiggle the handle but it was locked and I hadn't figured out how to walk through walls or doors yet - I was still just barely able to move things without having to lay down.

I heard a beeping - she was checking her EMF reader - I went back to our room to sit and wait to be found - but I must have fallen asleep because I woke up the next morning and found her and Sam eating breakfast in silence.

She cleared her throat after finishing her eggs, and when Sam looked up at her she said, "I checked the car and the garage, there's no sign of EMF activity there."

"I know," Sam stated.

"What do you mean you know?" she scoffed.

"Well the first few times we had weird things happen after Dean - vanished - I ran the EMF reader in the car, the garage, his room, the rec room."

I could tell by the tiny flinch that she'd taken note of the way Sam said I'd vanished and not died.

"The Dean Cave," she corrected and he rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, in there - nothing. Dean is not a ghost and he's not haunting us."

"You're wrong little brother," I laughed, but of course they didn't hear. "I'm not trying to haunt you but I'm also not very good at interacting with the living."

A little bit after they'd finished eating breakfast I went out to the car to see if I could start it. I thought that perhaps if I could start the car and drive it somewhere they'd get the point or I'd be able to burn her myself.

I sat there for a good hour trying to get the key to turn in the ignition but it wasn't going so well. I leaned back, closed my eyes and took several deep breaths - still nothing happened.

Sam came out looking stressed, looked in the window and yanked the door open.

He reached right past me, grabbed the key out of the switch and muttered, "What the fuck? You're losing it Sam," as he walked back across the garage.

I sat there for another hour trying to regain my strength before I could go back inside.

When the door slid shut and she screamed I thought that would be the end - I also felt a bit faint and made my way to the closest seat. I watched her turn around looking to see where the sound came from - she walked over to the door to inspect it and everything went black for me.

'Guess this is really it,' I thought.

Tally’s POV 

I felt like I was losing my mind - that door had never just opened and closed. I spent ten minutes inspecting it, the garage, and trying to make it slam shut on its own.

I finally gave up and went to my room to cry and pack my bag. At the very least I was going to spend the weekend with Jody and the girls. I finally decided that maybe it would be good if I left the bunker for more than a supply run and eating out - maybe Sam was right and I needed to figure out how to keep living away from the memories that were drowning me.

I called Jody as I randomly tossed things into my bag.

"Hey girly," Jody's chipper voice came on the line.

"Jody?" I whispered, my voice about to give away my mental state.

"What's wrong?"

"Everything!" I sobbed, "I - I - can't anymore," I paused to draw a breath in. "Can I come stay with you for a few days?"

"You can stay with me always for however long you need to."

I glanced at the time and told her, "I'll be there by dinner time," and I hung up and ran for the garage. I took a little old pickup that was there. It wasn't flashy and I could blend in with it.

I didn't want anything that would draw attention to me because I just needed to go and if I took something fancy, Sam would follow it.

When I got to Jody's house I was done with everything. I just wanted to sleep - something Jody took as depression and yeah she might not have been totally off with that line of thought but there was more to it than that.

It was more than sadness - it was despair, frustration, exhaustion, and confusion.

The door flew open and I was pulled inside to three sets of arms.

"I've been waiting for you to come," Jody whispered and kissed my temple.

"You're not that much older than me, don't go acting like you're my mom," I teased.

"Oh you know she's gonna," Claire teased.

"And we're all gonna act like your sisters and hold you and smother you with love," Alex added. "Well for another hour and then I gotta get ready and head to work, I work overnight tonight."

I hugged her and whispered, "Thank you."

"No prob," she smiled at me. "I did make dinner so let's eat, because I'm hungry AF."

We all laughed and I choked down the sadness that it brought to me - Dean loved nothing more than to get these three to laugh and he'd never get to do that again - he'd never hear the sound of their joy and that made my heart crack just a little bit more than it already had.

When Alex went to leave I stopped her, "I have a bad feeling," I told her. "Please be extra safe."

She patted my face, "I will, I promise. I'll see you all around 9 tomorrow."

Jody came back to the living-room, "I thought you got off at 8?"

"I do," she confirmed, "But Jacob asked if he could take me to breakfast and I said yes."

"Is this the hot young doc?" I asked, my eyes going wide.

"Yeah, he's actually pretty hot," Claire laughed.

"He's mine," Alex reminded. "We're going to Casa Patron," she told us.

"They have the best breakfast burritos," Claire told me - like that was the point of all this.

"Alex, how well do you know him?" I asked.

"Well enough," she answered with a clipped tone. "Jody has already given me the talk OK?"

"Just be safe," I reminded and she bid us all one last good-bye as she left.

"I ran a background check, he's fine," Jody assured once Alex was out of the door.

I rolled my eyes because - of course she had.

When Alex hadn't shown back up by 9:05 the next day I was pacing the living-room like a caged tiger.

"When's she gonna ask for one of us to go with her to check this guy out?"

Jody shrugged as I turned to look at them, "I can hear you."

"You're pacing just like Dean," Claire blurted and then covered her mouth. "I am soo sorry," she spat before running from the room.

Jody eyed me like I might burst - if I wasn't so worried about Alex I might have.

"I'm gonna call Sammy and have him track her phone," I grunted.

"Sweetie, I'm sure she's fine."

Appalled at her lack of concern, I crossed my arms and glared at Jody just as Alex stepped in the side door.

"Where have you been?"

"Calm down girl," Alex removed her jacket and shoes, "You are not my mother," she said pointedly, "We got off slightly late because there was an animal attack."

Before Jody or I could say anything about it not being an animal attack Alex held her hands up, "I called Sam - he and Eileen are on their way but I gotta get some rest if I'm gonna help y'all hunt a werewolf," she muttered and headed toward her room.

We spent the afternoon tracking down the target and assessing the area. I couldn't help but feel like Dean would be so proud of us the way we executed it so well. In fact when we got back from the hunt I could have sworn someone put their hand on my lower back when I stopped in the kitchen to get a glass of water. It felt so real that I paused and glanced around the room - Jody was in the dining area and Sam wouldn't have placed his hand that low on my back - he'd have had to bend down and I know he's stealthy but there's no way that moose could have escaped me seeing him that easily.

"You look like you've seen a ghost," Jody told me.

"Yeah, no I'm good," I mumbled. "I just need a shower and some sleep."

"Well, Sam's in the main bathroom but you can use mine if you promise not to use up all the hot water."

"I love that you have two hot water tanks," I grinned. "I just wanna get clean - I don't need a full shower and shave," I told her with a laugh as I headed to her room.

My mind conjured up Dean saying, "You took a beating, honey."

I stepped out of the bathroom as Jody walked into her room, "You OK?" she asked.

"That was my first hunt - since," I looked away - I was feeling far too vulnerable at that moment.

"I know."

"I gotta sleep," I mumbled and headed out to the couch.

I jolted awake the next morning because I felt like someone was laying next to me; the feeling of Dean's hand on my hip still lingering - it gave me pause.

'Would my weird ultra real dreams return now?'

A few minutes later I stood in the kitchen holding a fresh cup of coffee and trying to decide what my next steps were when Sam approached.

'Guess we're having the uncomfortable conversation I was hoping to avoid for a few more days.'

"You wanna tell me why you left without saying good-bye?"

"No - not really," I took a sip and hissed at the burn.

"Why did you just leave like that?"

"I honestly don't know. It just all became too much - it's been months and I feel like I'm stuck. I can't move forward and just when I think I am - weird shit starts happening around the bunker. The door to the garage opened and closed on its own and it kinda broke me. I have checked the entire building and there's never any EMF signal but it's like he's there."

I finally looked directly at Sam, "Dean is there - I don't know if the memories are just that strong or what it is but it's like he's always with me but just out of sight and I," I paused and shook my head because even I knew that I sounded crazy. "He's even here - hand resting on my hip causing me to wake up and feel out of sorts. I thought if I left the bunker I could get away from it and I did - for one night but it's here too. I don't think I can get away from that feeling."

"You were with him for more of your life than not."

"No I wasn't. We didn't become official until-"

"I know," Sam said softly, "But I'm the one that told you both for how many years that you liked each other. I get it when we were younger why you two didn't make it official but then you did and things were great - between you two at least," Sam paused to take a breath, "When he became a demon I wouldn't have gotten him back without you."

"We both know that's not true - you were so calm compared to me."

"It does feel like he's there but I think it's just how connected we are to him - even with him being gone we will always sense him."

"I suppose you're right."

"You have been in love with him since you were 17 …"

"No I wasn't."

"Yeah you were. I had the dumbest crush on you and you looked at me and saw Sammy, Dean's little brother."

I laughed, "Oh Sam, I didn't know."

"I figured. Dean always caught people's attention and he had your’s hook, line, and sinker," Sam chuckled.

"Do you even get that idiom?"

"I get it well enough," he sighed.

I laughed, "I never understood Dean's need to go fishing," I chuckled. "Wish I'd have taken him to do that rather than that fucking witch hunt."

"Me too," Sam admitted and wrapped me in a hug.

"I know you think I'm too clinical about things - like cleaning up after that hunt or telling you not to bother with the EMF but I was just trying to keep you safe. With Dean gone, you and Eileen are all I got."

"That's not true. We have Jody and the girls, Donna, and Garth and his family."

"Yeah, but none of them have been through it like you. You have been with us the longest of anyone we've ever known," Sam pointed out, "So while it's nice to have them, it does sit differently."

As sad as our little talk made me, it also gave me insight - I wasn't just Sam's sister in the fact that I married his big brother - Sam saw me as a loyal part of his little family and that eased some of the pain in my heart. It would never fix the fact that I'd miss Dean till the day I died but hearing him put it that way softened a little part of me that was growing colder by the day.

I'd been avoiding all things Dean because it hurt so bad but I'd forgotten that everyone else had lost him too.

Before I left the next day I made sure to sit Claire down and tell her that I wasn't mad at her for talking about Dean. I know she wasn't thrilled with the chick-flick moment but she hugged me and explained that she was worried she'd hurt my feelings.

When I left, with plans to meet up at the cabin for a girl's only weekend in a few weeks I felt like some of my cracks were starting to heal up.

I returned to the bunker and the weird happenings that its walls held, but I knew that I was going to hang with the girls for a long weekend soon and it would give me a break from how things had been going.

My super realistic dreams returned when I got back to the bunker but I just thought of it as my body reliving a memory so I could just let it happen and stop stressing.

When I pulled up to the cabin there were two extra cars - one I recognized immediately and rushed inside.

"Donna?"

"Hey girl!" she rushed to hug me.

"I hope it's OK we have two extra guests," Jody said with a grin and tugged Patience from around the corner.

"How'd you get time off?"

"I'm between labs at college," she said with a laugh.

Jody had already worked everything out because she didn't want me to feel uncomfortable sharing a room. I assured that it would be fine if we needed to double up but Claire said she was perfectly fine taking the new pull-out couch in the den because it was still more comfortable than sleeping in her truck.

The first evening was pretty chill - we ate pizza, watched some chick-flick, which I slept through most of, and we went to bed.

I slept hard that night but I do recall feeling like I was being snuggled - I missed the occasional snuggle from Dean at night so I relished in the feeling and tried to ignore the twinge it brought to my heart.

The next day was unusually warm and saw us all hanging out in our swimsuits and splashing in the water between naps in the sun. We really did nothing but mess around and eat all day - it would have been the perfect day if Dean had been there with me. I had to remind myself that it was still pretty wonderful, even without him there.

That night brought a round of melancholy for me and I feigned sleepiness to retreat to my room for an early bedtime.

Jody knocked on the door and asked if I was sick or just having a moment. I told her that I just needed to rest a little - I'd overdone things the previous week as I'd been researching hard-core for another hunter but I thought I'd feel better in the morning.

She accepted it - albeit reluctantly but she let me be for the night.

Once things quieted down in the main part of the cabin, I took a deep breath and stretched out across the bed, closing my eyes. I tried to concentrate and conjure up images of Dean in my mind.

I must have fallen asleep pretty quickly after that because I heard Dean whisper, "Don't close your eyes."

"I'm trying to feel," I whispered back, as Dean's hand ran up my thigh.

I could feel his lips on my neck and I conjured up what he looked like when he got all wrecked and horny looking - it was a very good look on him.

His lips wrapped around my nipple and I clapped my hand over my mouth because I nearly squealed from shock over it.

Letting myself get sucked into the fantasy of it all - I spread my legs further and enjoyed the - memory? Dream? Hallucination - or whatever it was just happened.

Dean wasted no time getting me ready for him before pushing in - the stretch was almost painful and he grunted when he finally bottomed out, as if he was really feeling it.

"We can't go so long next time," he chuckled.

"Its not like my virginity will grow back," I teased quietly.

He shut me up by beginning to thrust into me - the weight of emotions and the force of it knocking the air out of my lungs.

I wanted this so bad - I needed it all so bad that I came over and over for him and then darkness lulled me to a deep slumber.

The next morning Donna nudged me, "Were you OK last night?"

"Yeah why?"

"I swore I heard you makin' sounds in your room."

I must have blushed because she just grinned, "Ahh just a good dream," she waggled her eyebrows at me.

I gave her an eye-roll and went about making coffee.

Before I left the cabin I texted Sam - Leaving the cabin. Be home tonight.

I was leaving a day sooner than I'd planned to because I'd had a realization - somehow Dean's soul was following me around and I needed to figure out what to do.

I started the truck and said, "Dean, I know you're here with me. I'm going to figure out how. I don't know why I didn't realize this sooner but I think you've been interacting with me more during waking hours and I'm going to figure things out."

I threw the truck in gear and headed for home.

About a mile down the road I felt it - I was wide awake and Dean's hand landed on my leg - it was warm and solid just like always, but when I looked down there was nothing. I really expected to see his hand laying on my leg.

"Dean, if that's you give my leg a squeeze."

It happened.

That shocked me and I couldn't say anything for almost an hour.

"I can hear you every once in a while," I finally admitted. "I thought I was going nuts or something, but now I think you might really be there."

He squeezed my leg again.

"I'm going to solve this when I get home."

A few hours later his hand landed on my leg again, and then inched closer to my center.

"Not while I'm driving," I scolded, and eventually the hand retreated.

As I got closer to home I started to worry that perhaps it wasn't Dean but rather something portraying itself as Dean.

When I got to the bunker there was a note from Sam - Had to run. Quick hunt. Vengeful spirit. Be back tomorrow.

I pulled out books on Incubus and Succubus spirits and began to research - just when I started to come to the conclusion that it wasn't something posing as Dean I felt lips on my neck.

"Lay on the table," Dean whispered in my ear.

I can't tell you what made me do it but I stood up, yanked my shorts down and laid on the table.

A moment later I felt Dean's mouth on me - he used that damn sinful mouth to turn me into a shuddering mess not once or twice but three times.

Just like that he was gone - I couldn't feel his warmth or any sensation of him being around, "Dean?"

I called his name a few more times as I hurried to redress and rush to my room, where I shut the door and laid a salt line across the entry - if that wasn't Dean it wouldn't be able to enter my room.

I spent hours searching for any more info I could on incubus and succubus demons. I clearly had picked up some type of attachment because of my loneliness.

I fell asleep some time after 4 am and didn't wake until lunch time.

It took me another two days to get brave enough to try and interact with Dean or whatever spirit was in the bunker with us. Hoping it really was Dean I went to our room, the gold number 11 shining as if it was freshly polished. I stuck my head in the doorway and called out, "Dean are you in here?"

I got nothing but stepped into the room anyhow. I glanced around and pulled a tissue from the box on my night stand.

"I'm willing to try something," I told him. "I'm gonna lay this tissue down on the bed and if you're in here I want you to lift it up."

I forced myself to sit on what was my side of the bed and wait but after about ten minutes I decided he wasn't there so I took the tissue out to the garage.

"Dean? Are you out here?" I called as I approached Baby.

I felt warmth on my right side and smiled hopeful that I was on the right track.

"Dean, I wanna experiment with something," I stated, "Let's walk to the counter," I moved to where he normally worked on things. "I am going to place this tissue on the counter, if you are Dean move the tissue to cover the flat-head screw driver," I directed, adding, "Yes, I know Sam left it laying out and I'll put it away when we're done with this."

The warmth left my side a moment later and the tissue moved to cover the screw driver just like I'd asked.

I couldn't help the sob that escaped me, "Dean?"

His hand came to my lower back - a sure sign he was trying to comfort me.

I grabbed up the tissue and put the screw driver away before reaching my hand out for him to take it. We held hands across the garage but I thought it would look nuts if Sam or Eileen caught me holding hands with nothing as I walked through the bunker.

I was also so scared to lose him again that I didn't want to let go of his hand.

"OK, you're not a child, you can walk through the bunker without getting lost. I want you to go back to our room and wait for me. I'm going to find something to help us communicate."

When I couldn't come up with anything else I grabbed a pen and my notebook and rushed back to room 11. I sat down on my side of the bed and sketched out what was basically a talking board and laid out a thin plastic chip that came from some lost board game and had been laying on my desk for years.

"OK I have a second notepad here to write on. I want you to slide the chip from letter to letter or to yes or no to answer questions as you can.

I pointed, "Yes, no, goodbye and then the alphabet. Do you understand?"

I waited several moments and the little chip slid across the paper to yes.

"Yes, great. Are you Dean?" I asked, sliding the chip between the yes and no.

A few seconds later the chip moved back to yes.

"Did you follow me to the cabin for girls' weekend?"

Yes

"Are you causing my steamy dreams?"

I waited a little longer this time but then it moved to yes and then spelled out 'you not dreaming.'

"I guess not," I grinned. "How are you here?"

Very slowly the game token moved to d-o-n-t k-n-o-w.

"Don't know?"

The token moved to yes.

"Why can't I see you?"

G-H-O-S-T

"You're a ghost?"

Yes

"I see," I replied, but I didn't understand it at all - he wasn't setting off the EMF reader so how could he be a ghost.

"Can't you move on?"

No

"Why?"

I-D-K

"You don't know?"

Yes

"Fuck," I whispered.

Before I could ask another question the token started to move N-E-E-D R-E-S-T

"You need to rest?"

Yes

"OK, I'm sorry. I'll let you rest while I make dinner. I'll come back in an hour or two to check in."

I walked to the kitchen feeling a sense of dread wash over me.

I wasn't sure why Dean needed to rest but all the same worries about him being a ghost - about having to lose him a second time came slamming into me - rather than making dinner I went to my room and cried until I fell asleep.

Sam poked his head in and asked if I needed anything and I probably should have told him about Dean but I just said no and told him I'd forced myself to go in room 11 and it just hurt too much.

He gave me a sad smile and told me he was proud I pushed myself to do something that I knew would be painful and to come find him and Eileen when I was ready to talk. They were chopping the veggies I'd gotten to make chicken soup so he told me to come have some when I was ready.

When I thought I could handle it and that Dean had rested for a good amount of time I returned to our room and tried to talk to him - but it was like he'd vanished.

I plodded to the kitchen and dished myself a small bowl of soup but I remembered the wet laundry and so I set the bowl on the table and left to go deal with the clothes before they smelled of mildew.

When I returned my bowl of soup was half eaten, "Dean? Are you in here?"

I saw no signs of Dean so I ladled a bit more soup into my bowl and returned to room 11.

I set my soup down on my night stand and felt the bed for any sign of Dean but I found the bed to be empty. Since I wasn't sure where he was I grabbed my bowl and took a few small bites, but when a tissue moved on Dean's nightstand I realized he was there - and he was trying to get my attention.

"Hello Dean," I stated softly, as I placed my bowl back on the night stand. "Can we cuddle?" I asked as I laid my head on my pillow.

A moment later I felt the weight of his head on my shoulder and his arm snaking over my midsection. It was so strange that I couldn't feel him or see him until he was close like that.

I started to cry as I thought about all the months where I'd felt him but just thought it was the grief getting the best of me.

After laying like that for quite a while I asked, "Dean, can you hold my hand and give a squeeze for yes and two for no?"

He took my hand in his and squeezed once.

We shifted to a more comfortable position and I told him, "If tapping my hand uses less energy we can do that."

He tapped once.

"OK, did you eat some of my soup?"

One tap.

"Did it help you feel better?"

One tap.

"Good," I smiled at the spot I thought his face would be, "I wish I could see you but I'm very glad we've figured out how to communicate," I told him before asking, "Do you know what has happened to you?"

Two taps.

"You stabbed the witch and were just gone," I stated. "We assumed you were dead and I did everything I could to try and find you but you got in the car and came home with us that night didn't you?"

One tap.

"I'm sorry I didn't notice you sooner," I admitted, "I was so wrapped up in sadness that you were gone and I'm gonna be honest I don't understand what's happened here."

He squeezed my hand.

"What I can't figure out is, are you a ghost?"

One tap.

"But you aren't showing up on the EMF., You don't create cold spots; in fact, it's quite the opposite," I told him, "I can feel warmth when you're close. I just didn't figure it out at first."

We laid in the silence for a bit and I felt a kiss on my cheek.

"Do you think you're in the fae realm?" I asked.

He squeezed my hand.

"Does that mean ‘I don't know?’"

One tap.

"OK, I can work with that. If I could see you, I'd kiss you!" I squealed, "I'll be right back."

I bolted for the library and grabbed the two books on quantum physics I knew about. Plus three that were about crossing into the fae realm and anything related to the fae in general. Dean and I spent hours pouring over the books but we didn't find anything that seemed to relate.

I probably shouldn't have kept this information from Sam but I didn't want to get his hopes up if he was just going to lose Dean again. So for the next few weeks if Dean and I weren't talking in our coded way I was doing whatever I could to figure out how we'd managed to connect if he wasn't a ghost and we weren't on the same plane of existence.

One evening, Sam came to the kitchen as I was making dinner and announced that he had a question for me. I actually became quite angry at his question.

"Have you started dating someone?"

I spun around, "Have I what? Why would you make such an accusation?!"

"I wasn't accusing," Sam defended, "I was asking because you've been smiling more - you just seem lighter and happier than I've seen you in seven months so I thought I'd ask."

"I am not dating someone, I would never do that to Dean," I argued.

"I-" Sam paused, "What?"

"Dean's not dead Sam," I stated plainly.

"We've been over this, he isn't a ghost," Sam began to argue.

"I know," I sighed. "He's trapped in a different realm or something."

Sam looked confused as I walked over to where Dean usually sat and reached my hand out to him.

"Dean, can you hold my hand?" I asked as Dean's hand engulfed mine - you couldn't see that of course but when I asked, "Can you show Sam that you're here?"

Dean tapped my hand, the skin depressing slightly but enough for Sam to see it.

"We use one tap for yes and two for no," I tapped next to where Dean's thumb rested on my skin.

"Is Sam your sister?"

Tap - Tap

"No, good," I smiled at Sam, "Is Baby your car?"

Tap

"Did you want to date Charlie?"

Tap- Tap

Sam watched intently as Dean's thumb pressed into my skin creating what looked like a small dimple that popped back up as soon as Dean would stop pressing against it.

"I figured out that Dean is not a ghost but that he is still with us. Something about moving stuff in this world wears him out - eating is difficult because he cannot eat enough to fuel himself enough to be able to interact with the food or silverware."

"This is incredible."

"It is but it's also not good, because I don't know how long he can keep going this way," I pointed out. 

SPN Fam:

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@deans-baby-momma

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@jackles010378 | @hobby27 |  @b3autyfuld1sast3r

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@mrsjenniferwinchester | @k-slla |   @jamerlynn | @libby99hb  | @lori19

I did my bedtime routine, got a glass of water, and some mystery novel I'd bought at a thrift store while we were buying Sammy some new pants. He seems to rip his pants a lot for someone so skinny - the thought made me giggle.

I sat down on the bed thinking about how terrible I felt when I laughed at something dumb - Dean wasn't there to laugh at dumb things with me so it felt pointless and like I was leaving him out.

I knew logically that wasn't true but it was something I just couldn't push past and I didn't like that either. I have always been able to separate myself from the hunt and move on but losing Dean broke something in me. We didn't even get to have a hunter funeral. There had been nothing left of him except for the wedding band I now wore on a chain around my neck.

I looked down at it and reached to lift the chain over my head. The ring had protection runes etched inside the band. I ran my thumb over them - "A lot of good those did you," I whispered and laid my book and the necklace on my night stand.

I couldn't help but think how cold my room felt so I went to the kitchen and made myself a cup of hot chocolate.

I brought my mug to my room and managed to re-read the previous chapter I'd been on plus one more. I had been struggling to read and remember things the past few weeks and this was the first sign that maybe - just maybe I'd be able to keep fighting. Maybe I could survive a while longer without Dean.

Once I laid down and snuggled into my bed a fresh feeling of warmth washed over me and I went into a deep sleep rather quickly.

So deep in fact that I began to dream that I was sleeping - and then I felt it - well, him. Dean used to like to give me a "wake-up call" as he called it and I felt him slide my pants down my legs.

I yelped when I felt his tongue slide flat over my slit and then begin to dip between my folds. We hadn't greeted each other this way in a long time - I suppose part of that was the fact that when in the bunker we actually tended to get a full night's sleep rather than the four to six hours that seemed to be average for us on hunts.

Dean flicked my clit with his tongue and I became very aware of the feeling of his left hand gripping my right thigh - not painfully but firmly - he was holding my leg down so I didn't squirm too much and kick him.

He slid two fingers into me, stroking my walls and making my body weak - Dean has always been able to get me worked up so quickly.

He laved over my clit a couple more times and I came with a  shout of, "Oh, fuck, Dean!"

His fingers stayed inside me, still for several beats before he began pumping them in and out and pulling me into ecstasy once more. This time I woke up fully and pushed myself against the headboard.

Panting slightly as I looked around my empty room - I'd left the door open because I'd planned to take my mug back to the kitchen but had fallen asleep before I'd gotten that far.

I had to grab a towel and put it on my bed because it was such a mess and I didn't want to deal with it at the moment.

The thing was that after I put my mug in the kitchen I went back to my room and closed the door so I could go back to sleep and it all happened again - except I could have sworn that I wasn't even asleep yet.

That night I slept so well, the best I'd slept since losing Dean. When I woke up I was alone and that made me unbelievably sad. I sat drinking my coffee wondering why my dreams had become so vivid. Once I realized my coffee was cold I went to the kitchen to heat it up and when I returned to the library I noticed a book sticking out of the shelf, it was hanging out too far for it to have been placed like that.

I picked it up and took it to my spot at the table - "Ghosts: Different Types and How to Move Them On," I read aloud.

I skimmed the book and pushed it aside as I grabbed the Men of Letters book titled, "Hell, Heaven, and Lesser Known Dimensions." After another hour of reading from that book I found nothing helpful so I pushed the book forward and laid my head on the table.

Apparently I fell asleep because I could feel someone rubbing my shoulders. I opened my eyes and moved away from the table, tripping on nothing and knocking the chair over.

I decided that I should go clean something in the garage and while out there I noticed that I kept feeling warmth around me and then it would be gone. It was like the opposite of what you feel when a ghost is around.

I finally climbed into the open driver's door of the Impala and sat there, "Dean, I don't think I know how to live without you. I know you'd tell me to keep fighting but I'm not sure I can actually do that - not without you," I said as I ran my hand over the steering wheel.

I was honestly surprised that Sam had taken Eileen's truck and not Baby, but I was kind of glad he had because I felt so close to Dean in that car. I think I almost hoped that being in the car would give me some kind of 'aha' moment and I'd figure out how to get him back.

I decided I needed to go out so I rushed back in for my wallet and my keys to Baby - it was the first time I went in room 11. I dashed to my night stand, yanked the key out of the drawer and ran back to the hallway.

After a good twenty minute cry I gathered myself and returned to the car.

"Okay beautiful," I pulled the door closed and slid the seat much further forward than the boys needed to when driving. "You gonna start for me today?"

I paused as I considered the fact that I was talking to a car like it would answer me. It was something Dean always did - he talked to that car like she was the only one who listened to him sometimes - and I supposed when he was a younger man that was probably true.

The car started right up and I couldn't help but whisper, "Thank you," as I shifted her into gear.

I drove into town stopping at the grocery store first - I bought some groceries and a pie and was done in a decent amount of time. I stopped at the hardware store to grab some nails to fix the shelf in my room - I'd bumped it a long time ago and hadn't bothered putting it back up since I had moved to room 11 but now - well after getting my keys from that room I knew I'd never be able to linger in that room again. 

The last stop was the liquor store - I know it's not healthy but some nights I can't sleep without the whiskey to knock me out or warm me up. I headed straight to the aisle Dean always got our bottle from but when I looked at the shelf it was tequila.

"Hey Betty -" I called out to the owner of the shop who happened to be working the counter that afternoon, " - where's the-"

I didn't get to finish my sentence before she cut in, "Whiskey is two aisles over that way, hun," she pointed as someone else walked into the store.

I grabbed the bottle I was looking for and moved to the wine aisle to grab some cheap stuff to cook Italian food with. I'm not the most amazing cook but I learned to make a good pasta sauce and one of the key ingredients is wine, but I'm cheap and refuse to cook with the pricey stuff.

When I approached the counter Betty greeted me, "How's it goin' hun? We haven't seen ya in a while?"

"Was traveling for work, things have been a bit crazy."

"I was startin’ to worry because I haven't seen Dean or you. How's that boy doing?"

I choked back the sob that wanted to escape and said, "I'd rather not talk about that," and bolted from the store.

When I stepped outside there was a man I didn't recognize circling the Impala and I wasn't in the mood to take anyone's shit.

"Get away from my car!" I growled, dove into the car, and hurried to leave the parking lot. To be sure nobody was following me, I drove to the opposite side of town before making my way back home.

"I can't believe that creep was lurking around my car! Who did he think he was," I ranted to myself as I drove. 

I could have sworn I heard Dean say, "Not your car Sweetheart." I knew that was impossible but yet I found myself looking around the car just to be sure.

Once parked, I told myself that my reaction was completely normal considering the life I’d lived for so many years. I opened the bottle of whiskey and one long gulp later I was able to drag myself from the car and gather the supplies I'd purchased.

As I cooked dinner I swore I felt a large, warm hand land on my ass - I yelped and spun around to see an empty room.

I'm not sure what I thought I'd see but I found myself reaching for that bottle of whiskey to calm my fragile nerves.

As I made my way to my bedroom that night I told myself, "You have got to get it together - you're the only one here. You are alone. People aren't following you, that guy was just admiring Baby and was probably shocked to see a chick driving a classic like her."

I looked at my reflection and decided I should stop doing that - my eyes and hair looked dull and my skin was dry and to be honest a bit pale for me.

I sat on my bed for several minutes before being pulled into a random memory - the first time I met Dean.

I felt so dumb that I had to do the math and didn't just remember our exact ages - I do remember that Dean was hunting alone the first time we met. Sam was in college and I was on a road trip with a friend - she'd decided we had to check out this haunted spot she'd heard about.

I wasn't thrilled about anything called haunted because - well because I was an absolute chicken back then. My best friend dragged me to this old shack of a house outside of Tallahassee.

The house was haunted by the original owner and he certainly wasn't happy about us girls snooping through his house. He locked us in the cellar thanks to my friend saying we should explore it and I was too scared to stay out in the dark alone.

When we began screaming it alerted the man hunting the ghost to its location. That hunter was Dean and he was the most beautiful boy I'd ever met, and he blushed when I asked if I could give him a special thank you for saving my life.

What started out as me thinking I'd have some fun, blow off some steam with this hottie - turned out to be the greatest love story I could have ever experienced.

That first night together - well, we got so drunk that he couldn't remember my name and called me Tally.

"My name isn't Tally," I laughed.

"Well," he paused to think, "It is now."

"No," I replied and laughed. "You can't just change my name."

"I didn't, it's a nickname," he chuckled, "We met outside of Tallahassee, so I shortened that to Tally."

It was so cute I gave up trying to argue, and when I ran into him a few weeks later in my home town I decided to shoot my shot.

I gave him my phone number and told him that I liked him a lot and wanted to get to know him better. He said that wasn't a great idea but I secretly followed him to the motel he was staying at - then I went to grab some belongings that I thought I'd need and I went and knocked on his door.

I told him and the floppy haired boy with him that I didn't have a job anymore, I knew what he did and he could either take me with him and teach me or I'd learn to do what he did by myself.

I learned that floppy hair was Dean's little brother Sam and he reasoned that I would be safer with them - that was 20 years ago.

I looked at the calendar and realized that Dean hadn't made it to 45 - he was just two months away. The idea of how unfair that was sent me into a downward spiral so I ended up just stripping out of my clothes and falling into bed to sob myself to sleep.

That night when my dreams came to me I found myself sitting in this cute little beach cottage by the sea. I remembered this place - it was the first time Dean admitted that he had romantic feelings for me and that he didn't want to admit that because it could get me dead.

I told him that I, too, had romantic feelings for him and I was more than willing to give us a chance if he would. The funny thing is we were on a case, pretending to be a couple who was trying to move to the next step - the case was a witch who was casting love bond spells on people but the first fight they had something bad would happen to one of them. The first one was that his heart had exploded - Sam had read some note about it in John's journal and we'd gone in thinking we knew exactly what to expect.

We'd been dead wrong. It was a teenage witch who was born with powers - her magic was going haywire because one, magic always has a price and two, she didn't know she was doing it! The poor girl just loved watching people who were in love so that first couple she'd seen holding hands and kissing had been so cute to her that she wished he'd never love anyone but her. His heart exploded a week later because his new wife told him she was pregnant and because his heart filled with love for their child and it burst. At least that's how another witch in town had explained it to us.

We ended up hooking this girl up with this other "green" witch who ran the local metaphysical store so she could teach her how to be more careful with her powers. Turns out that when you're a natural born witch there is a fine line between spells, curses, and blessings.

She was one of the few witches that we'd let go over the years - although not the only one.

I dreamed about Dean and I kissing and touching in that little cottage on our last night there. Then my dream abruptly switched to me being laid out on the bed, Dean having his way with me - but the thing was, that never happened in that cottage.

We never went that far there, that didn't happen until much further down the road - and I once again woke up all tingly, and well, messy. It was pretty confusing - why was I having these dreams - it was as if my body only thought of Dean in one way. But he was far more than just a good lay so why was my mind doing this?

Dean has always been compassionate, caring, and helpful. He's also so smart and skilled at pretty much anything he puts his mind to so why did my subconscious have to only remind me of the pleasure and the passion?

We also had our fair share of fights over the past 20 or so years - like when he took the Mark of Cain, or allowed Michael in, when he threatened to kill Jack, or any of the times he put himself into the vale to save me or Sam. I've always been so empathetic to him though - he's screwed up plenty and I'm the one person who can tell him that without also making him feel like he is being kicked to the curb.

Dean has always taken judgment or separation as a rejection - that's why he and Sam had so many fights when we were younger. I think that also had to do with his parentification as well, but I'm not a head doc so don't quote me.

Sam and Eileen returned late the next afternoon and once I knew they were home safe and fed a hearty dinner I retreated to my bedroom - where I basically stayed for the next three or four days.

I tried to retreat into sleep whenever I could - it was the only time I was happy so I wanted to stay there. I did question if I was possibly in a djinn dream since that would be the kind of thing that would make you want to stay in a certain state or world.

The idea of a djinn dream didn't really fit though because it wasn't fully giving me my dreams unless I was truly asleep and if it was a djinn that fed on fear it wouldn't have been giving me happy moments or pulling my happy memories to the front of my mind.

After a week of me being somewhat avoidant Sam came to talk to me in the library.

He sat down in the chair across from me, which immediately had my hair standing on edge.

"I think we need to talk," he stated softly, "I know you are hurting but I'm worried about you," he said with the same tone he uses for the survivors of our cases.

"I'm fine Sam," I tried to placate.

"No, I don't think you are. You have been isolating yourself - even more than you had before we left on that hunt."

"I'm better off alone Sam, it's fine."

"No it's not," he replied a little more forcefully than he meant to. "I lost Dean too."

That truth bomb hurt more than I could have ever expected. I knew it, I'd told myself hundreds of times at this point and yet I couldn't get past what I was feeling.

"I know," I whispered and looked away.

"No, I don't think you get it. I lost him too but I'm finding a way to move on."

"Yeah, by hunting. By doing the thing that took him from us!" I snapped, slamming my fist down on the table. "I'm sorry," I covered my mouth in an attempt to cover the crying - I'm sure Sam was as sick of my crying as I was.

"You know I worry about you and Eileen too," I whispered and Sam gave me this sympathetic look that made me want to scream, right at that moment Sam's phone flew off the table.

Dean's POV

Dean's POV

I knew that Sam was right, Tally was isolating herself too much, but I wasn't going to stand for him yelling at her so I knocked his phone off the table.

She looked terrified, Sam looked confused, and I knew deep down inside that I must be turning vengeful - all I could hope for was to knock the ghost book back off the shelf and hope that Sam caught on.

I knocked the book down but ended up having to rush back to my room to rest so I had no clue what happened after that.

It was hard for me to make it back to my room - but I'd learned that I needed to be alone in the dark in order to recharge and room 11 was the one place I knew that I'd be alone.

Tally's POV

Sam's phone going flying set me off - I knew Sam was right to a point but I also knew that my time alone with Dean was the only time I felt calm. I knew I'd have been better off if I'd have died that night too.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd think we had a ghost," I muttered as I grabbed up my book and laptop to head back to my room. "Do not follow me, Sammy!"

I heard him sigh and flop down in his chair as I stormed down the hallway. That night I would have no rest. I couldn't understand why Dean didn't come to me in my dreams like he had been.

I had nightmares - reliving every moment I'd lost Dean. Well not every moment because I didn't have to see every single death Dean experienced in Broward County, Florida - which was good because that would have been the end of me for sure.

'Stupid Trickster and his awful antics,' I thought as I turned and tried to go back to sleep.

The time that the boys were gunned down by two other hunters named Walt and Roy was pretty bad - I didn't see it but I did find them.

I'd been out on a hunt with someone else - we had to exorcise a child and those are always the most delicate. Thankfully that had been on the easier side because the demon knew who I was and that I wasn't taking their crap. It also knew that I'd call for backup and that Sam would kill them. Eventually it left the child unharmed and the other hunter and I gave the kid and his family some protection and helped them hide sigils - we also had a talk with the kid about not talking to strangers in the park. I left still worrying that some deal had been made but the kid swore he hadn't sold his soul just let the nice man use his mind for a bit.

'Ick.'

(Flashback)

We had fortunately stopped the demon before he completed the goal of killing the principal and his family - but we'd never found out why the demon was after them.

I'd called Dean as soon as we'd finished up to give him an update and see where we could meet back up and he'd given me the address to the motel he and Sam were staying at. He told me to meet them there but even with hauling ass it took me eight hours to drive there.

I knew something was wrong - I knocked and nobody stirred in the room. Dean wouldn't have left knowing I was going to be there. On a whim I tried the knob and the door opened - I swear my heart stopped beating for several moments but I forced myself to step through the door and take in the scene.

There were my boys sprawled on their beds gaping wounds in their chests and blood spatter everywhere.

"Nooo!" I screamed and then panicked and slammed the door, locking it and checking the room for an intruder - it had to be human because it was clear that these were gunshot wounds. I knew that they were both gone but I checked their pulse - Sammy wasn't cold but he was cooler than he normally ran. After patching the boys up for years, I knew that Sam always felt warmer than most people. I moved to Dean's bed and he was slightly warmer than Sam so I figured they hadn't been gone long enough to truly become cold but it must have been a couple hours.

"Dean what the hell happened?" I cried as I tried to think of what to do.

"Castiel!" I gasped, "Castiel - something bad has happened. Someone murdered my boys, help!"

It felt like it took hours for him to appear but it was just a few minutes.

"What has happen-" he froze mid-sentence. "Who did this?"

"I don't fucking know, but when I find out they are fucking dying," I growled. "Can you help them - it's been less than 12 hours since they - since," it was as if my body had locked up, I could not bring myself to say that they were dead.

Castiel placed a hand on my shoulder, "Salt the door and windows - keep any demons out. I'll get to the bottom of this," he said and vanished with the sound of flapping wings.

After checking the salt lines and locking the room down I grabbed a shot gun and sat in a chair - a sentry there to protect my best friends.

It was agonizing waiting but Castiel eventually found the boys in Heaven and helped them back into their bodies.

Sam sat up first gasping and panting his eyes immediately wildly searching the room.

"Sammy!" I rushed to hug him, not caring about the blood or mess.

He patted my arm and Dean woke up much the same way.

I hurried to his side and grabbed his face, "Oh thank god," I whispered as I slammed my lips into his.

"Honey, I'm fine," he whispered and gave me a smirk.

"I got here and you very much were not okay."

"Did you send Cas after us?"

"I did. I got here and the door was unlocked, and you - the two of you were and I - I'm so glad I got here when I did. I prayed to Castiel and he came."

(End of Flashback)

I gave up on sleep at that point and pulled my laptop out to watch something - I zoned out and by morning I didn't even know what I'd been watching.

I walked around the bunker like a zombie trying to accomplish things but not finishing any of them. In fact, I spent several days that way - just zoned out and barely functional.

"I'm worried about you," Sam whispered as he sat at the kitchen table across from me.

"I should have died that night too," I stated emotionless and staring straight through him.

"I don't believe that."

"I wish I could trade places with him. It's been months and just when I thought maybe it was getting the tiniest bit better things began to spiral. I can't close my eyes without seeing visions of Dean's deaths and all of our worst moments. And now, it's his birthday and we should be having pie and celebrating him. Dean should have lived to see his 45th birthday and instead I'll be sitting in my own bedroom hoping to drink enough to knock myself out and not dream."

Sam's puppy-dog eyes nearly did me in.

"I wish I could change this for you, but I've searched everything and so have you. I think you either need to get back on the horse and go out on a hunt with us or you need to at least get out of the damn bunker.

"I have nothing left out there for me," I gestured wildly in the direction of the front door. "And you think I should hunt?!" I spat. "I can't even accomplish cooking a proper meal, fully finishing a load of laundry on the first round, or cleaning up a cup of coffee I've spilled, and you want me out there with monsters and weapons?"

"Dean wouldn't want you to wallow in misery."

"Well, he also wouldn't want me out there getting myself or you killed. No Sam. I'm done hunting. I'm nothing but a liability now."

"You don't have to be."

"I can't have this conversation; you're not being rational!" I snapped and ran to my room.

When I got in the door, I stood there remembering the last time I said those words to someone.

(Flashback)

Dean had been turned into a demon and we'd gotten him trapped and brought back to the bunker's dungeon.

Sam had tied Dean down and injected the first and second doses of consecrated blood. When it came time for the third dose, I'd told Sam he should rest, "If he gets some strength back later, I might need you, so rest up for a bit."

Sam nodded, "Okay, be safe."

I twirled the silver band around my ring finger - Dean had asked me to "make it official," about two months before taking on the mark and then getting turned into a demon by Crowley when Metatron killed him. I wasn't sure why I couldn't just take it off and leave him behind but I couldn't. I'd already followed him to hell and back by now so I figured I had to save him from himself. Even if I was the only one who fully believed he was worth saving.

"What are you doin' Sweetheart?" he asked with his head cocked to the side and this terrible smirk.

I wanted to kiss and slap that smirk off his beautiful face in equal measure.

"Saving you from yourself," I murmured quietly.

"You should stop,” he warned.

"Why?"

"Because I'm not worth saving," he grinned.

"Well, I think you're wrong about it and I'm going to prove it to you."

"You shouldn't want me this bad, but hey, we could rule Hell, maybe you should let Crowley show you the way - then we can kill him and take over. You'd be my Queen and we could do whatever the fuck we wanted."

"See, you still want me so why not get your head straight? You can have me all you want then."

"Ya know what I want?" he hissed, "An easy lay and you've always been that so why play hard to get now?"

I may have jabbed that needle into his skin a little harder than it needed to be, "You're not being rational," I told him before chucking the needle into the empty pile and leaving the dungeon.

Not too long after that Dean had broken loose and was chasing Sam and I with a hammer - it was the only time in our lives I was truly afraid of Dean. I was afraid he'd kill Sam and I and then he'd end up hating himself even more from the weight of all that guilt.

(End of Flashback)

'Why is that popping in my head?' I wondered. But I reasoned that it was just my spiral - I was sinking into the darkness. It felt different than the monster filled corners and crevasses I was accustomed to - this somehow felt final - a darkness that would swallow me up whole and never let me go.

SPN Fam:

@all-alone-he-turns-to-stone  | @lyarr24

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@deans-baby-momma

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@jackles010378 | @hobby27 |  @b3autyfuld1sast3r

Mr. Green-eyes Tags:

@mrsjenniferwinchester | @k-slla |   @jamerlynn | @libby99hb  | @lori19

I was holding it gingerly between my thumb and forefinger, still blowing on it, when Sam pushed out of the cage the witch had him locked in, her powers having faded out with her death.

It wasn't logical and yet all I could think of was cooling the ring and keeping it safe.

Sam ran around the corner and into the large room halting at my side, “W-what happened?!”

“He killed her,” I pointed to the small pile of dust that laid where she’d been standing.

But there was nothing left of my husband except his silver wedding band – devastated didn’t even feel like a strong enough word to describe how I felt.

I couldn’t move, I couldn’t speak, I wasn’t even sure if I was breathing or not. I felt as though I was trapped in a fog, sounds felt muffled.

Sam was amazing, though. He cleaned up the scene so no one would know we’d been there; I was aware of him moving about but when I tried to help him clean up all I did was shake and make things worse.

After cleaning up inside, Sam took the time to search the property; making sure Dean hadn’t just been snapped somewhere else. He was methodical, searching every inch of the place for another hidden cage or room - he of course, found nothing.

Sam found me right where he’d placed me before going to investigate the property, the only change being that I’d managed to put Dean’s ring on my necklace and reclasp it. I had been sitting there contemplating everything. 

The room was gross, covered in dust and a layer of grime I didn’t want to think about. Sam had led me over to an old metal desk that wasn’t directly in the witch’s workspace, it was the cleanest spot in the room. I remember him telling me to sit and wait, promising he’d be back in a minute. I thought about the layout of the room, a large L-shaped space. Some of the janky cages she’d put together were directly across from where I sat while the different workstations dotted the floor in either direction. The one wall of the cage Sam had been held in was nothing more than an old bed frame that was somehow tied to the brackets that had once held some piece of equipment. If she hadn’t cast a spell on that cage a toy poodle could have torn it down. 

Then I went over the facts of the hunt - replaying every moment that had gone wrong. We'd spent weeks tracking her down, across three states. We had a suspicion she'd made Sam a few days prior but there was nobody close enough to get to us and help out so we pushed forward. We figured out where her hideout was and nearly got caught doing recon on the second night. Then we'd spent the afternoon planning and taking a nap so we'd be alert enough to actually carry out the hunt.

When the witch had caught Sam in her lair she'd tossed some dust at him and snapped her fingers, zapping him somewhere. I was hidden but had seen it happen. She knew we were there and we had to rush - find Sammy, kill the witch who had already killed three in this town alone, and get the hell out of there without drawing attention.

Sam had been trapped in the cell just around the corner of the big open room she seemed to be using as storage for her supplies and her main workspace for creating the spells. While I'd searched for a way to open Sam's cage, the witch had entered the main room where Dean was looking for keys or some type of electric switch.

She screeched when she saw Dean and charged him just as I returned to the room but before I could do anything to help him, Dean lunged forward and stabbed her - ending her reign of terror thankfully, but also taking Dean from me.

Sam explained that each time he called Dean's phone the line would ring once and then he'd get an automated message that the phone was out of its service area. Putting his phone on speaker he tried Dean a few more times. All I did was let out a little sob when I heard it the third time, but I just as quickly returned to the odd silence -  staring straight ahead, eyes glossy and unfocused. I'm sure I looked a total mess because I felt so hopeless, and utterly useless.

When he couldn’t get me to respond, Sam had scooped me up and carried me out to Baby, so he could get us both back to the safety of the bunker.

I was aware that I was laying in the backseat but I was numb and couldn’t respond when Sam stopped for fuel and snacks, so kindly asking if I wanted something. He waited for a response but I couldn't do anything but shift my eyes to look at him.

"OK, I'll bring you a water," he whispered before disappearing from my view.

I felt bad, he'd lost his brother - the least I could do would be to acknowledge him. Yet I felt trapped in my body - as though I couldn't make it do the things it should have been. My limbs were heavy and it felt like my lips wouldn't work - I couldn't even force words past them.

Six hours passed with me simply laying on the seat waiting – I felt like I might die before we even arrived home. I prayed for death because I didn't want to do this without Dean.

When Sam parked in the garage, I finally sobbed out a shuddering breath and nearly fell out of the passenger door as I tried to escape the pain that had been building in my chest.

My vision speckled and I stopped and bent down, resting my hands on my knees; I gasped what was probably the first lung filling breath I'd taken since I'd watched my love vanish.

Sam was my rock, he steadied me and took my hand, leading me into the war room where I could prop myself against the lighted map table. I literally couldn't keep myself upright without something to help hold me up.

I have no idea how long I just stood there staring blankly at the table before I decided that I should get cleaned up. I didn’t even remember Sam carrying my backpack in, it was just there on the map table. 

When I showered I thought for a split second that I could feel Dean’s hand brush my hair behind my ear. I told myself I was losing it. It was my brain wishing Dean was there to do that oh so familiar action.

For as much as the man said he wasn't a chick-flick guy he was always touching or hugging me and I already missed that. Dean was constantly tucking this one spot of hair back for me. It didn't matter if my hair had been short or long, I had one spot that was wild. I missed him, I missed that touch - it was always comforting no matter what was happening, and the last time I'd ever gotten to experience it was two hours before I lost him forever.

As I showered I thought of all the ways I could try to get him back - I really only came up with one idea and I doubted it would even work. No demon was going to bring Dean Winchester back and Dean would be so disappointed in me for even thinking of that. That thought had me so upset, I nearly collapsed. 

Slumping against the shower wall for support I decided I’d been in there long enough and forced myself to exit, dress and head for bed, even though I knew I wouldn’t sleep. I stood outside of room 11 for probably ten minutes just staring at that damn little number 11 glinting at me, taunting me with how pretty and comforting it once felt. Behind that door was nothing but the ghost of my life waiting to mock me.

I only left my room the next day a handful of times; I forced myself to eat one meal but that had been all because it had upset my stomach. I couldn’t make eye contact with Sam so I’d sulked back to my room. 

On the third morning after losing Dean I stood in the kitchen blearily sweeping my eyes around the room wondering where the hell I put my coffee mug. I swore I had set it on the island but it was gone.

It wasn’t on the table or any of the counter space. I even checked the shelving where Dean kept his sugary cereals and in the fridge. Just when I was about to give up and make another cup Sam walked into the kitchen.

“Were you researching?” he asked somewhat grumpily, holding my coffee mug. I looked at the image of a pie and the words printed above it, "We go together like coffee and pie.”

“No, I’ve been in the kitchen since I woke up,” I answered, giving the kitchen one more glance that’s when it clicked in my brain… Sam was holding my mug.

“Why do you have my mug?”

“I sat down to read the newspaper and knocked it onto my phone,” he scowled.

“Oh no!” I turned and grabbed the nearest dish towel.

“I got it dried off,” he told me, “It’ll be fine, but I was trying to figure out when you came in there?”

“I didn’t,” I answered flatly, “I made coffee, prepped my cup, and took a few sips before I started the bacon,” I gestured at the cooking bacon only to notice that the stove was now off.

“Are you OK?” he asked.

I glared at him as if to say, ‘no my husband is dead,’ but I couldn’t bring myself to say anything, and after several beats he just turned on his heel and walked away.

I couldn’t blame him. Sam had lost Dean too and I’d been pretty shitty and avoidant. 

Later that day I sat in my chair researching and trying to make sense of what had happened to Dean – part of me felt like he’d been snapped away. I was worried we had a situation where Dean had been zapped to a different dimension or world. I didn’t want another Purgatory situation on our hands.

Dean had been so hurt that we hadn’t looked for him. Well, I’d tried a little but all signs pointed to him being dead and I’d sunk into a deep depression. I'd checked with psychics, a voodoo priestess, and had done my own soul tracking spell.

I even got help to cross over temporarily to meet with a reaper who'd been somewhat helpful to me in the past. Everyone told me the same thing . . .  if I couldn't track him by any of the means I'd already used, then he was gone. Dean was nowhere to be found and after a few weeks, I'd given up.

I was reliving it all over again; I could already feel the tendrils wrapping slowly around me, ready to suck me into the darkness. I pictured it as vines that had looped around my feet beginning to squeeze and slither further up my ankles and legs. It was worming its way into me waiting to take hold and drown me in despair. 

For the next two weeks I would make breakfast and settle in at a table in the library to research and each day I’d come up with nothing and my heart would shatter all over again. I’d cry myself to sleep or at least into a comatose stage and then begin again the next morning.  

‘Why did I have to be head over heels for the one man who died as often as I got new shoes?!’

The random touches started to freak me out - I'd be sitting in my chair in the library and feel like a hand had dragged across my shoulders, but when I'd look Sam and Eileen were nowhere to be seen.

Every single day I would lose things, but not in the normal way one does when they misplace their keys or forget where they placed the grocery list.

I knew it sounded crazy but when my things vanished it felt more like I was being toyed with and not just misplacing things. I would set my coffee mug down in the kitchen and find it in the library or laundry room later. One day I spent twenty minutes looking around the bunker - I'd been in the kitchen, the laundry room, and the library, so I checked each of those rooms. Not only that I also checked the dungeon, the gym, and the infirmary even though I hadn't stepped foot in any of those rooms that morning. I gave up and decided I’d step into room 11 and grab the flannel off the chair… the missing cup would show up but I needed the comfort of my favorite flannel and I was ready to push myself to retrieve it. I froze at the doorway when I saw my cup sitting on Dean’s night stand.

“Sammy!” I shouted.

He came running, calling out, “Where are you?”

“Room 11,” I yelled, still unable to call it my room or even Dean's room. I still couldn't say his name out loud without sobbing - not that I'd tried more than once.

I didn’t know what else to say; that room was Dean’s room, then it was ours. However without Dean it became nothing more than a mausoleum of memories I had shared with him.

“What’s wrong?” Sam asked, pulling me into a hug.

“D-did you put my mug in there? B-because if you did that was really shitty of you!” I yelled as I smacked his chest halfheartedly.

“I would never!” Sam defended. “I know you don’t like that I told you to take a break from research on trying to find Dean, but I’m not cruel," Sam pointed out.

I broke, “I know, but every day I’m losing things,” I pushed away from Sam and began to pace like a raving lunatic.

“Things are moving, it’s not like I’m setting it on one table and then moving to the other and forgetting! Sam you have to believe me, I didn’t do that,” I pointed toward the night stand that held my mug.

"I had it with me in the library and the kitchen," I told him, "I did go to the laundry room to put stuff in the dryer so I even checked there and it wasn't there."

I looked back at the night stand on Dean’s side of the bed, and I began to sob.

"I haven't even been in there since we left for that hunt."

I’d made it two days without crying at that point and it yet again felt like I might never stop - I was honestly starting to wonder if I'd drown from my own tears.

Sam pulled me close, rubbing his hand up and down my back, “I know this is hard,” he whispered and kissed the top of my head, “I’ll bring it to you,” he stepped through the doorway and brought the mug to me, like it was the easiest task.

“While you’re in there can you grab the flannel off the chair?” I sniffled.

Sam obliged, grabbing the flannel and holding my coffee while I pulled Dean’s old shirt on. I’d given up on the coffee search and had been going to get the flannel and that was how I found my mug. I had worked up the courage to go grab that flannel but seeing the coffee mug there had nearly ruined me, at least that's how it felt.

Things continued in a similar manner for several more days.

Sam came to the laundry room one afternoon and asked if I’d moved his phone to the kitchen, which of course I hadn’t and told him just that.

“Maybe you carried it in there and forgot,” I offered him the same answer he’d given me multiple times over the past few weeks.

He shot me a glare and left the room.

I have to admit I was slightly amused by the pout that flashed on his face before it turned to a full glare. I pulled my laundry from the dryer and placed it in my basket before stating, “God Dean, I don’t know if you can hear me. I miss you and I’m going to get you back.”

Grabbing my basket I took a step before jumping when a bottle I swore I'd thrown down in the trash can clattered to the floor. I stared at it for a moment before setting the basket down and moving to pick up the empty bottle.

I inspected it and told myself that I had to have made a mistake and not gotten it into the bin, ‘It must have been balancing on the lip of the can.’

Two days later I woke up from an incredibly steamy, very realistic dream – so real that I’d soaked my panties and pj shorts.

I was instantly saddened when I realized that Dean wasn’t there, he hadn’t actually made me feel that way, and he never would again. All I had left were my dreams and memories.

I pretty much kept myself locked away that day - I just kept remembering the dream and how I felt when I woke up; how I could have sworn I could feel Dean's hands on me. It got me all bothered and feeling too embarrassed to be around Sam in my condition - I was either horny or crying.

That evening when I did go to the kitchen to cook, I found Eileen and Sam already making dinner. As we sat down to eat I took my normal seat and watched as the spoon I'd placed on the table next to my spot flew off and hit the floor - it reminded me of the way a cat swipes things off of flat surfaces.

We all convinced ourselves that my shirt sleeve had somehow caught it and thus flung it to the floor and we dug into our bowls of chili.

The chili reminded me of Dean and how much I missed his cooking, which wasn't helping me at all. I know Eileen noticed the tear trailing down my face but I was grateful that she didn't say anything about it.

As we finished eating Sam's phone rang - another hunter was struggling with a banshee hunt.

I dreaded what Sam was about to say when he hung up.

Sam softened his expression and explained that they were leaving to help this guy - he offered for me to go with them if I wanted to - I did not want to. A hunt was the last thing I wanted to be anywhere near.

"I can't do a hunt right now Sam, it wouldn't be safe."

He nodded and gave me his big puppy eyes.

"I'm not ready and I don't sleep anymore - not well enough to be helpful," I added, knowing full well I should be helping people, not making excuses and being sad.

Dean would have gone and helped.

"I get it," he rose from his seat and left to gather his gear.

This had been a reoccurring conversation; Sam telling me he understood that I wasn't ready or couldn't deal with certain things and I knew that he was trying to be helpful and caring but sometimes I wanted to scream, "You don't fucking know what it's like!" or "You could never understand!"

But then I had to stop and think about the fact that he kind of did understand - he'd lost Jess to a monster too! Yes, the circumstances were different but he wanted to marry her and never got to so he understood the loss of that kind of love and the pain of feeling stuck in some type of way.

The difference was he'd jumped into hunting because that was the catalyst for his anger - it fueled him to move forward and kill the demon. The monster that took Dean out was already dead. Without Dean, I had nothing left but some fragile friendships and being Sam's sister-in-law. Hell, a vampire had stolen my car and wrecked the shit out of it - I didn't even have my own car after that!

I packed some snacks for them to take on the road and then I sat back at my spot and waited for them to be ready. After handing them off some food and water, we said our goodbyes and they left - I was completely alone in the bunker for the first time in years.

I felt as though I might be swallowed up by the vast silence of it all.

I went back to the kitchen to clean, ‘maybe if I kept busy I wouldn't notice the void as much,’ I thought.

Twice as I scrubbed pans and counters I swore I felt Dean's hand on my shoulder or hip. I couldn't have of course because nobody was there but me; it almost felt real enough to be believable.

When the kitchen was sparkling clean I made my way to the TV room, I couldn't even think of it as the Dean Cave anymore. I stepped across the threshold and was thrown back into a memory of Dean first showing Sam and I this very room - Dean had been working on some little project for a few weeks but insisted I couldn't know about it, and I'd been a good wife and ignored the sounds and curses that came from behind that door.

I still to this day don't know how he got some of the things into that room by himself. I remember we'd been given a large flat screen TV as a thank you for saving a pawn shop owner. When Dean hit the power button on the TV remote a violet light had come from the TV and the next thing we knew we were in an episode of Scooby-Doo.

I couldn't help but chuckle as I remembered Dean's lame attempt at flirting with Daphne, right up until he thought both the server at the malt shop and Fred were flirting with me.

I looked around the room and marveled as I thought of how each corner of that room held so many memories - so many memories condensed in that one little part of the bunker.

I turned on the TV to whatever seemed funny and wouldn't make me cry and I laid on the little love seat we'd acquired a few years back when I decided we needed something to cuddle on when he made me watch certain scary movies.

As I began to doze off I had the most realistic dream that someone had been rubbing my feet, but when I pushed myself up to look around, the room was empty - as I expected it to be - I was after all just having a dream.

Dean's POV

I couldn't figure out what had happened to me - I was there but neither Sammy nor Tally seemed to notice me.

I tried to comfort her but she just stared straight ahead like she couldn't see me. Sam was cleaning the area up and that's when I realized that I must be dead. The thing was, no reaper had shown up and for someone like me you'd think the reaper would be on the fast track to gather me and scoot my soul off this mortal coil.

None of it made sense, Tally just sat or stood wherever Sam placed her and shook slightly - her silent cries were killing me - or would have if I wasn't already dead.

Once it was all said and done and Sam was carrying my widow back to what once was my car I realized something was seriously wrong.

'Maybe the reapers don't want my soul,' I thought. 'Maybe it's too far gone and they are just going to leave me here.'

I decided to jump into the front seat but I couldn't get the passenger door open so I had to rush to the driver's side and slide across the bench seat.

I sat angled somewhat sideways in Sam's spot watching as he drove home, careful to stop and fill up the car and offer Tally something to eat and drink.

She was almost catatonic and I hated every second of it - I felt like I was trapped in my own body with no way to communicate.

I even tried to reach over the seat and push her hair from her beautiful face but it was as if I'd done nothing. Every time I tried to do something it was another reminder that I'd failed. Sure, the witch was dead but I wasn't there to protect my family now. I hated myself for getting killed on the easiest of hunts.

It took me nearly an hour to get into the bunker and by the time I did Tally was just heading into the bathroom. She sobbed and whimpered through her whole shower.

I wanted to comfort her so I stripped off my clothes and stepped into the shower with her - I kissed her cheek and told her I loved her and then I brushed that one wild piece of hair out of her face. She paused almost like she felt it and I got hopeful that maybe she'd realized I was standing right by her and we could have some kind of moment, but she simply shut the water off and stepped out to get dressed.

When she finished with her shower and went to her old room things started to sink in.

This was it - I had to figure out how to get her attention. If I didn't, eventually I'd go vengeful and hurt her and Sammy.

That first day home she hid in her old room for most of the day - couldn't get enough energy to walk through the wall or door so I had to wait until she came out to go get something and then I went in and sat on the chair in the corner of her room.

She had long ago put up some old string lights around the top of the walls because she said they made her feel happy after a bad hunt.

The only light on in her room was the string lights and it stayed that way for three days. I'm pretty sure the only reason she turned the regular light on is because I moved my wedding band to try and get her to realize I was there. All I succeeded in doing was upsetting her because she thought she lost it.

That did nothing but make me feel even more guilty.

I started spending time in my room practicing moving things but I'd have to exert so much energy I'd have to lay or sit down for long periods of time. It was also becoming very hard to keep track of day time versus night and how many days had passed. I was fairly certain my phone had been destroyed when I stabbed the witch. I simply didn’t have it. 

Tally and Sam went rounds about her things going missing, neither of them thought to get out an EMF reader - I was really starting to wonder about their sanity and capability in hunting at this point.

I tried everything I could think of to get her attention - I'd walk past her randomly and run my hand across her shoulders, or touch her shoulder when I peeked over it to see what she was working on or reading about.

Each day she'd been getting into some pretty heavy scientific stuff - quantum theories, alternate dimensions, and even time travel. One day she pulled out a book, ‘Beyond the Grave,’ she was starting to get to the correct conclusion but it was taking too long.

I wasn't experiencing hunger like I should have either but when I realized that I was getting hungry I did manage to get ahold of some of the leftovers after a couple of meals.

Once I'd mastered moving small things, I started moving her coffee mug further away - finally putting it in our bedroom. My plan failed because she walked up to the door and immediately yelled for Sam.

She'd scolded him for moving her mug into room 11 and he'd dutifully gone in and grabbed it, along with stepping back over to grab one of my flannels off my chair for her. He really was trying to keep her company and help her after losing me.

I stood there in my room completely helpless and totally invisible to the two most important people in my life - or past life.

It took some powering up but I managed to move Sam's phone then rush to the laundry room where she was working. Sam came looking for her to ask if she'd moved his phone and I tried to get Sam's attention but I wasn't charged up enough.

When he left the room she looked up and stated, “God Dean, I don’t know if you can hear me. I miss you and I’m going to get you back.”

Then she grabbed her laundry basket and I grabbed the empty soap bottle from the trash can and threw it as hard as I could at the ground.

Although it wasn't as loud as I'd liked it did make her jump and return to inspect the bottle and the trash bin. She didn't get the clue though.

It took me two days to realize I could make certain things happen for her. I've always enjoyed bringing pleasure to the woman I'm with and pleasing my wife has made me especially proud of myself. I never leave her wanting and being buried in her makes me just as happy, obviously so I climbed in bed with her.

She was wearing a tee shirt and a pair of sleep shorts I'd picked out for her years ago. I pulled her against me and whispered in her ear, "I'm right here, can you feel me?"

She moaned and pushed back against me so I did something we'd done when we were younger - we called it the, "special wake-up call."

The actual term is somnophilia and that might not even be the most correct term but we took turns waking each other up with sex - thus the wake-up call. I was hoping to bring her some physical release so her body could truly rest, or if she woke up maybe she'd figure out I was right there with her.

I worked my hand into her shorts and carefully rubbed and touched her until she was melting into me. I carefully tested inserting one finger and working it in and out of her slowly for several minutes before adding a second digit.

She shifted her body so she was laying on her back which gave me more room to work and I had laid there next to her fingering her to full climax. I honestly loved the way her body clinched around me - even if it was just my fingers. She moaned and whined as she writhed about the bed. I think the amount of booze she'd had that night was the only thing keeping her from waking up fully.

She'd been so frustrated with the state of her clothing and bed it was kind of funny to watch her strip and change the bedding all the while muttering and cursing at the stupid horny state of her mind.

Then that night when Sam's phone rang at dinner time I could see how the color drained from her lips - she was already panicking and probably feeling guilty as fuck when she told Sam she wouldn't be going with them.

I needed to try harder to get her attention!

I watched as she packed up some snacks and bottles of water for Sam and Eileen to go help another hunter with a Banshee hunt - ‘there probably isn't a more capable duo for that in the US.’

It did make me proud of her to see her taking care of Sam and Eileen. I knew she didn’t think she was being good to them since I’d died but she was doing her best. 

When she stepped out to the garage to see them off I ate the rest of the chili in Sam's bowl. I still hadn't been able to cook my own food or even dish it up, and I was so hungry. I'd figured out that I could eat leftovers that were sitting out, and it meant she wouldn't have to scrape the bowl clean before washing it.

Being a ghost was weird - I still couldn't figure out why or how I was getting hungry.

When Tally came back to the kitchen I watched her scratch her head and mutter, "I swore there was chili left in that dish," but after looking in the trash can she ultimately gave up and just cleaned the kitchen.

I felt bad because I had to go lie down - I'd interacted too much and needed to re-charge. When I got up from my "ghost nap" I walked to the Dean Cave and I found Tally frozen in place looking around the room as if it were filled with ghosts - and in a way I suppose the whole bunker was filled with ghosts to her. That was why she wouldn't step foot in our bedroom - she acted as if the bedroom was a personal attack on her.

That made my heart ache for her - another thing I didn't know ghosts could do or experience.

I watched her stare at the bar in the corner - I wondered if she was thinking the same thing as me, because the sight of it reminded me of the time I had her laid out on top of it just eating her out. We'd done it in many rooms in the bunker - sometimes you gotta release some pressure between hunts or arguments and there's a lot of space in the bunker.

She moved to the little love seat she insisted we needed for movie nights and she laid across it pulling the blanket off the back of the couch and snuggling under it.

Once she was settled I moved over to the end and sat down, she was curled in a half fetal position so there was a little room. Without thinking I reached out and started to rub her foot. She seemed to be dozing off into a pretty deep sleep but then jerked up and looked around the room.

I realized that she had felt what I was doing and she looked a little freaked out.

"It was just a dream. You're freaking yourself out over nothing," she muttered and turned off the TV before walking quickly back to the library and pulling out a book to research.

I hated it but I had to sit down - I was exhausted after that. 

SPN Fam:

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Sam shook his head because he knew I was lying but he was somewhat happy for Dean and I - we were actually getting along well and hadn't had any huge fights for a while.

"You boys hungry?"

"I could eat," Dean winked.

"I can heat up the soup I made last night. Soup would be good for ya Sammy," I told him as he coughed.

"Yeah, sure," he answered half-heartedly before leaning in and focusing on his laptop.

His computer had dinged and was probably a case so I rushed to the kitchen hoping I could heat up the soup and get us all fed before we headed out on whatever horrors this case would bring.

Dean came to the kitchen and asked how I was doing.

"I'm good but the churn in my gut tells me you aren't," I replied as I bumped the heat up a smidge.

"Sammy found a case, he went to get his gear around. He said that in multiple states there have been people dying in all kinds of horrible ways - burned eyes, hands and feet. Puncture wounds through their hands and liquefied internal organs."

"That's appetizing," I muttered as I stirred the soup.

"Right," Dean sighed, "Um but I wanted to know if you have noticed anything about Sammy?"

"You mean the bloody coughs?"

"When did you notice?"

"I've felt like something was off for a few weeks now, but I noticed him trying to keep that hidden from you yesterday, maybe the day before. I hadn't seen it until then, its just been a gut feeling. I've just been keeping an eye on him and trying to make sure he eats and drinks properly so he can conserve his energy."

Dean wrapped me in a hug and whispered, "Thank you."

"I'm trying," I assured and stood up on my tiptoes to kiss him.

"If you notice anything or you see something I don't, please let me know."

"I'll try," I smiled sadly at him and turned back to ladle up some soup for all of us. "Go get your brother," I ordered. "We're all eating before we leave for this hunt."

"Yes, ma'am," Dean shot me a mock salute before leaving the kitchen.

We found ourselves paired up with Castiel and Meg again as we raced to beat Crowley to one of Lucifer's crypts. Interactions with Castiel were more awkward than usual and he'd zone out momentarily, it almost felt like he was on a delay during parts of that hunt. His zone out moments were so brief I don't think the boys noticed at first.

After Meg led us to an abandoned warehouse - which was built over the real location of the crypt that housed the angel tablet - we split up. Meg went with Sam, while Dean and I went with Cas. We found the crypt and the tablet. Cas was unable to take the tablet out of the wooden chest because it had been warded against angels. Dean and I got it open but then Cas asked Dean to give it to him but Dean refused.

Dean told Cas that if he tells him how he got out of Purgatory, then he can have the tablet. Cas' angel blade dropped into his hand, and panic filled my body.

Cas struck Dean, but he was able to block the blow with the tablet.

Dean knew something was up and told Cas to fight it. When Cas attacked a second time Dean blocked him with the tablet again.

"What have you done to me, Naomi?" Cas asked.

"Who the hell is Naomi?" I demanded. 

When Cas backhanded Dean, sending him flying across the room, I screamed, "NO!"

Castiel ignored my scream and when Dean tried to escape the room with the tablet he grabbed Dean's forearm, snapping the bone.

"Castiel, stop!" I yelled, as Dean dropped the stone releasing the angel tablet.

Dean then told Cas if he wanted the tablet he'd have to kill him first and Cas took another swing, not noticing that I'd moved in closer to him. I knew I couldn't kill Cas but maybe I could distract him, I thought. I tried to pull Cas' vessel away from Dean but Cas just pulled away and continued to wail on Dean's face.

"Cas this is insane, stop it! You're hurting him!" I shouted as I grabbed at anything I could use as a weapon and threw it at him or tried to hit him with it.

Cas continued to pummel Dean, who kept pleading with Cas to remember that they were family - that the Winchesters needed him.

I rushed Cas one last time, landing a blow to his face but was quickly tossed aside.

I pushed up onto my knees, "Castiel, you must stop. Leave Dean alone!"

He took several more swings at Dean and then raised his angel blade to end Dean, but froze.

Dean groaned, "We're family. We need you. I need you."

The angel blade slipped from Castiel's hand and I rushed forward, scooping it up and standing between him and Dean.

"I'll kill you if I have to."

Cas said nothing, he just picked up the angel tablet, causing a blinding yellow light to fill the room. Then without saying anything he reached out and cupped Dean's face, healing him.

"I'm so sorry, Dean."

"You're sorry?!" I spat, "After what you just did ‘sorry’ doesn't cut it buddy.

Dean's hand landed on my shoulder - his way of silencing me.

I turned to look at him - his handsome face was all put back together but I kept seeing flashes of him all beaten and broken - I truly wanted to end Castiel in that moment. I was so done with it all; I just wanted a little peace and I had this simmering feeling in my gut that whatever was happening now was going to lead to even less peace.

Castiel explained that Naomi was the one who pulled him out of Purgatory and that she'd been controlling him since. That explained the weird blip-outs where he'd pause just a little too long - almost like his brain was firing but at a delay - that's exactly what was happening.

Dean and I wanted to know what broke the "connection", and Cas explained that he wasn't sure. Cas assured us that he was now free of Naomi and that he had to protect the Angel Tablet not only from her, but from us.

Before Dean or I could ask questions Castiel vanished.

Sam came and told us we had to get out of there, we saw Crowley kill Meg as we piled into the Impala and peeled out of there.

On the way back to the bunker Dean told Sam and I that he cannot take anymore lies from anyone. He asked Sam to be honest with him from now on, and Sam wholeheartedly agreed.

I had a feeling in my gut that this was going to just be another sticking point that would cause them to fight. However, I also had no energy to give to this discussion any longer so I curled up into the back seat and went to sleep.

We ended up not making it to the bunker because Dean picked up a case while fueling up and we ended up in a town called Conway Springs in southern Kansas.

"So, what are we looking at again?" Sam asked as Dean parked in the parking lot for the Sheriff station.

Dean handed him the newspaper he'd picked up and Sam read the summary out loud, "Two young women found near highway with their throats ripped out."

"Sounds vampy to me," Dean remarked.

"Yeah, maybe."

" Listen, if you want to take a knee on this one if you're not feeling up to it," Dean told Sam.

"What?" Sam asked looking genuinely confused.

"You know, the trials, what Cas said that you got what he can't cure."

"Hmm, which means what, exactly?" Sam asked.

Dean responded with a question, "Well, I don't know. You tell me. Are you okay?"

"De," I warned.

Sam scoffed, "I'm fine. Are you okay?"

Dean seemed taken aback, "Me?"

"Yeah. Um, Cas dinged you up pretty good."

"Yeah, and?"

"And I just wanted to make sure you're ok?"

"What, like my feelings?" Dean snarked.

Sam replied, "If that's what you want to talk about, sure."

"Okay. I'll tell you what. Why don't I go get some, uh, herbal tea."

"Enough!" I snapped.

Dean went on, "And you can find some Cowboy Junkies on the dial."

"Eat me, Dean," Sam quipped and got out of the car.

"And you know what? We'll just talk it out," Dean snarked.

Sam slammed the door causing me to flinch.

"Dean knock it off," I warned.

"Good talk," Dean quipped as he got out of the car and headed toward the front door behind Sam. "Nay, great talk! Very healthy!"

I caught up to him, "You can take a breath now."

"Are you actually mad at me?"

"No," I paused. "Maybe a little. We could have been at home, resting in our comfy bed but instead we slept in the car, took turns driving - er at least the two of you did and now I'm in this stuffy FBI get up and I just want to be at home, in bed, with a nice glass of wine," I waited a beat, "And no panties on," I added in a whisper.

We were quickly directed to the sheriff - all three of us flashing our FBI badges before being asked, "FBI? You're here about the Lady Killer Murders, aren't you?"

"The Lady Killer Murders?" Sam asked.

"Yeah, coined it myself," the Sheriff answered proudly.

"Congratulations. What can you tell us?" I asked, as we followed the Sheriff to a desk in the midst of the hectic station.

"Well, both victims were female, under 21, and here's the kicker," the Sheriff paused for dramatics, "They were drained of all their blood."

Sam and I both let out a little, "Huh."

"Exactly. We found that strange, also. But then last night, things got even stranger," the Sheriff went on.

"Why what happened last night?" I asked.

"Yeah," the Sheriff turned the monitor on his desk to show us the surveillance video he had. "We set up a security cam on Fuller's Point for safety purposes. It’s where our local young people like to go make out. Last night, things got crazy."

On screen we watched a teen girl being dragged from a car as a teen boy ran up and beheaded him. The absolute lack of blood spray made it very apparent to me that the now dead man was a vamp and not a human.

Not that the sheriff would have understood that, but I was a bit surprised that he didn't seem to take note of how little blood there was. Sure we get some blood spray when we behead a vamp but it's not like what would happen if you took a living being's head off. There's too many arteries you have to go through for a living person, not like a vamp has blood pumping under their skin.

By the time we got to the end of the clip we'd been shown I had recognized one of the three teens - the girl who'd been dragged from the car was none other than Krissy Chambers.

Sam verified, "Have you gotten an ID on any of these people?"

"Well, not yet. Crime scene was empty when we got there. No vic, no nothing," the Sheriff answered.

"Uh -” he continued. “I'm thinking it's some kind of cult or a drug thing. So I put a statewide A.P.B. out on these three about an hour ago."

"I'm gonna need you to call that off. And we're gonna need this footage," Dean barked.

Looking flabbergasted, the Sheriff asked, "What?"

"Sheriff, why do you think we're here? You just crossed streams with a federal investigation," I stated.

Dean added, "Now, I suggest you cooperate, call off your A.P.B., or you're gonna find yourself in a world of hurt."

The Sheriff deflated a bit but he complied and handed over a disk with the surveillance video and their notes on it.

"So, what was that all about, G-man?" Sam taunted Dean as we exited the building.

"Sam, don't you recognize that girl?" I asked.

He raised an eyebrow and glanced back to Dean, who asked, "You remember Krissy Chambers?"

"Uh, yeah, the Vetalas case, right? They were working that truck stop by the freeway. She and her dad helped us shut 'em down."

"Yeah, and the dude promised to quit hunting because he didn't want his daughter to grow up to be a hunter," I replied.

"Well, guess who the star of this snuff film is?" Dean added.

"Well, maybe he doesn't know she's doing this," Sam theorized.

"What, sneaking out in the middle of the night to go hunt monsters with the Apple Dumpling gang?" Dean quipped.

"Yeah, isn't that what kids are doing for kicks these days?"

Sam glanced between us as though he was being ganged up on, "Okay. Then maybe he knows, and he's helping her out."

"What, get caught on "Candid Camera"? Let's just go find her before she gets into any more trouble," Dean opened his door and climbed in.

Sam shot both of us frustrated looks once he was in the car too.

Part of me wondered why Sam seemed so off-put - 'it's not like he had sexy fun plans with the hottest guy around,' I thought - a thought that made me snort.

"What?" he asked.

"Nothing. Just thought of something dumb," I half lied.

We tracked Krissy and the other two teenie boppers to one of the two motels near town and bribed the sketchy clerk into letting us know what room she was booked in.

Sammy picked the lock and pushed the door open, I hadn't even made it into the room when a click alerted us to where Krissy was.

Dean didn't even have to turn and look; he just said, "Hey Krissy."

"What are you two doing here?" she asked.

I stepped fully into the room around the door, "Actually it's three of us and we're here to save your bacon," I said with a quick little point at her. I knew it was such a mom move to make but it just happened.

Dean gestured at me, "What she said."

"Does it look like my bacon needs saving? Wait. How'd you find me? I paid cash everywhere."

"Only two hotels within a 20-mile radius, and we paid cash, too -- just more," Dean quipped.

"Freaking clerk."

"Krissy, where's your dad?" Sam asked.

"Dead. Well, let's do this again, like, never. Now go. We got this."

"We who?" I asked.

"And got what?" Dean added.

Krissy didn't respond at first, she simply walked back to her laptop to watch the screen, but after a beat she stated, "A vampire."

"Sorry. A what?" Dean nearly shouted as the three of us walked over to see what she was so intent on watching on the screen.

A motel room came into view - a woman strapped to the bed.

"What the fuck is this?" I asked.

A girl's voice came from the speakers, "We're in. The room's clear. Nobody here but a vic."

The door slamming alerted the two teens to the arrival of the vampire, who quickly tossed the girl across the room and began a standoff.

"Stay with her!" Dean ordered as he and Sam rushed from the room.

"I don't need a baby-sitter."

"Clearly you need some type of supervision because what you're doing is incredibly dangerous Krissy,” I berated her. “And you're a kid, you deserve to be hanging out with your friends on the weekend not spending nights hunting monsters."

"Someone has to do it."

"Yeah, let us grown-ups who don't have anything else do it."

When the boys burst into the other motel room the vamp took one look and dashed for the nearest window, diving out of it.

"I got him!" Krissy shouted and ran out the door.

I was so shocked it took me a moment to chase after her.

As I caught up I heard the vamp pleading, "Please! Don't shoot me!"

Krissy shot him in the leg and he fell over continuing to beg, "Don't shoot me! Please, don't - Please it hurts so bad!"

"How did you drop him so quickly?" Dean asked, having caught up to us a moment after I'd gotten there.

"Darts filled with dead man's blood," Krisssy answered proudly.

"Where's the blue van?" Dean asked.

"What blue van?" Krissy and I asked in unison.

"The blue van that he was Usain Bolt-ing to?" he paused seeing that neither Krissy nor I knew what he was talking about. "Never mind."

Dean pulled the knife out of his side holster to kill the vamp, but Krissy freaked out.

"Wait, stop! This is not your kill."

"What are you talking about?" Dean asked.

"Three months ago, this blood banger snuck into a house and killed three people in their sleep," answered Josephine - I'd seen her name on something in the room and assumed the boy was Aiden.

"What?! No! I didn't do that!" the vamp whimpered.

"One was a woman --never hurt anyone! The other two, a brother and a sister," Josephine went on.

“What?! No! I didn't do that!” he shouted. "I don't know what you're talking about," the vamp replied.

"I came home from a friend's house, and I found them. They were my family!"

The vamp continued to beg for help,"This isn't happening. I didn't do anything, I swear. Please, help me!"

Josephine raised her machete and took his head off.

Krissy approached her to comfort her, "It's okay, it's over," she told the other girl.

Dean looked disapprovingly at Krissy and hissed, "I need to talk to you privately."

"You know this guy?" Aiden stepped up, puffing his chest.

"Yeah. We have a past."

"Eew," Aiden whispered.

"Not like that you twit," I snarked at him, as we walked a way.

"All right. So, you're gonna have to catch me up. What --did your dad, uh --he couldn't quit the life, could he?"

"No, he did. For a while, it was amazing. We had dinner every night at a table. We watched TV, went on walks," she paused, "Even went to the mall."

"Ok, so what happened?" I asked.

"And then...The past came a-knockin'. I woke up one morning and found him dead.......his throat ripped out."

"Well, I'm sorry.”

"Me too. If it weren't for Josephine and Aiden, I don't know how I would have made it."

"So, they both lost their families, as well?" Dean inquired.

"Yeah, the same vamps we're hunting together --a nest," Krissy explained.

"Well, look, I am sorry to rain on your parade, but you are way too young to be doing this."

"You're never too young to kill monsters, especially the ones that kill your family," she spat at Dean.

"You should have called us," I told her.

"Yeah, because you could have just come and resurrected him?" she snapped.

Dean interrupted me before I could give her a piece of my mind.

"Hunting isn't all about killing and revenge. I thought we had this chat last time. Do you have any, uh -- do you have any family that's still out there?"

Krissy shrugged, "An aunt in Cincinnati. Why?"

"'Cause you're packing a bag, and we're taking you there," Dean snipped.

"I think Victor's gonna have a problem with that."

"Who the fuck is Victor?"

"He took us in, showed us everything we know," she answered vaguely.

"Wait. So, what are we talking about here? Some sort of kid's school for hunters?" Dean asked.

"Don't be such a dweeb, okay? We're not the X-Men. Victor's helping us get revenge," Krissy snipped.

"Yeah, well, I don't care what he is. He sucks. 'Cause you and your little crew here got caught. And if it wasn't for me, your faces would be splattered all over the news."

Krissy snapped back, "Well, you know, so what?! Maybe it's time that people know the truth about what's really going bump in the night."

"Oh, and cause panic? Create mayhem? Yeah, that's a great plan."

"Look, I don't need you to save me, Dean. I'm not a little kid anymore," she turned and walked away.

"Krissy," I called out and she paused for a moment, "You're taking a dangerous path and you really need to think things over," I blurted, but let her go to clean up the mess they'd made.

The boys talked about meeting a Victor once on a hunt in Spokane, Washington. I jotted that info down to see if I could use it to track anything down on him - something felt off and I was going to get to the bottom of it.

I will admit the kids were doing an excellent job of covering their tracks and not leaving any evidence behind - which seemed more serial killer than hunter to me but I was hoping that thought was nothing more than an intrusive one.

When we arrived at Victor's house Dean muttered something about it not being a compound and we followed the kids into the front door. Dean was the most shocked over the normalcy of the home.

Victor Rogers introduced himself.

Sam spoke up, "We met -- a Rougarou hunt in Washington. I'm Sam. This is Dean."

His face lit up with recognition, "Oh, yes. The Winchesters. Right," he looked at me for a moment.

I introduced myself, "I'm with them," I jabbed a thumb at the brothers before crossing my arms and leveling this Victor guy with a look of suspicion.

Josephine walked up slowly and accepted a hug from Victor, who asked her, "Better now?"

She replied, "Much."

"And what do we always say?" he asked, sounding like a great parent.

"Move on, but never forget," Josephine replied.

"Good. Now, don't you have a trig test in the morning?" he asked and she went upstairs to study.

He then directed Aiden to clean his room before turning to Krissy, who promised a full report about the hunt and went to her room.

Sam almost seemed too ok with the set up - the kids went to school in the day and hunted at night. Victor explained it was a balanced approach and Dean argued it wasn't ok because they were children.

"What say you?" Victor asked.

"I think they are children and shouldn't be put in danger like that. I think they deserve the freedom of childhood not to be continuously traumatized by the parental figure in their life sending them to what could be their death each hunt. But I also bet that you don't really care what I think so I'm not going to keep rambling.”

Victor's brow popped when I finished as if he were mulling my words over. "When I found them, they were lost, confused, angry. I gave them family and purpose," he finally replied after a few beats. "And you want to take all that away? Why?"

"So they don't get killed," Sam answered first.

"They know the risks," Victor stated.

"They know the risks?!" I spat - Sam's hand landed on my shoulder as if he knew I was about to pop up from where I had settled on the chair arm and punch this guy in the nose.

"That may be true, but why take them?" Sam asked - far more politely than I would have.

"Because the next generation of hunters has to be better," Victor replied.

"Better than what?" Sam questioned.

"Better than us. Oh, come on, guys. I know your friends. I mean, Martin was insane.

And somebody obviously dropped Garth on his head when he was a baby.

And I know you two loved that Bobby guy, but he was a barely functional alcoholic."

"Watch your fuckin mouth," I growled.

Dean's eyes shot from Victor to me and back, "She's right, watch it."

"No disrespect meant, but Josephine is an all-state athlete and National Merit scholar.

Aiden is so fast he could pick your pocket before you could even blink. And Krissy, oh she's just a natural-born leader and hunter."

"So what?" Dean asked.

Victor reasoned, "So these kids are the cream of the crop. They are the Beatles. They are the dream team. And once they get their revenge......they'll be better hunters than any of us ever dreamed of."

As we left the house Dean remarked that this was all crazy.

"Is it? They got a pretty good life," Sam said.

"Kids aren't supposed to hunt, Sam."

"We did," Sam replied.

"Oh yeah and look where that's gotten you, Sammy. You're both the picture of perfect health and mental stability," I threw my hands in the air and marched to the car.

Dean thought we needed to finish the hunt for them - like that would somehow get them to stop or something. He told Sam to stay at the house and look after "The Brady Bunch," and he and I would talk to the girl from the motel room.

When we asked the girl if she knew the guy who tied her up in the motel, she said yes she did and that everyone knew him - his name was Jimmy and was a war hero who'd gotten a parade when he returned from Afghanistan a few weeks prior.

She said a man in a blue van asked her for directions as she came out of work and then she woke up tied to the bed in the motel. Apparently Jimmy was there and was crying. He kept telling her he was sorry and she thought he was going to kill her but she said he just seemed scared.

"This isn't adding up," Dean grumbled as we left our witness interview.

"I've searched a little and I can't really find much on Victor," I told him.

Dean tugged me close and pressed a kiss to my forehead before rushing back to the Impala, where he pulled his phone out to call Sam.

"Hey. You there?" he asked and after a moment he put the phone on speaker, handing it to me so he could drive a few blocks back to the motel.

"How did it go, with the girl?" Sam asked.

"Strange. Might be that vampire wasn't lying. He was fresh made within the month, but Josephine's family was murdered three months ago," Dean told him.

"So, who killed them, then?" Sam questioned.

"My bet is Victor," I blurted, earning a scowl from Dean.

"Wow," Sam scoffed, "Why do you hate this guy?"

"Hate's a strong word," I quipped, "I don't trust him, my gut says he's sketchy."

Dean cut me off, "I don't know who killed Josephine's family. I'd like to talk to whoever's driving that blue van. Other than that...You?"

Sam admitted, "Something's up. Victor says he has a surveillance photo of the vampire that killed Krissy's father," he paused and added, "But, Dean...I'm not so sure."

"Why's that?" Dean asked.

"There's no time stamp on it."

"Okay. So you think he's lying?"

"Well, that, or he's just wrong. It's hard to say."

"Yeah, I never trust a guy who wears a sweater. You want us to head back there?"

"No, no. I'm good. Let me do some more digging."

"All right. I'm gonna talk to the hotel clerk, see what he knows."

The only clue we got from the motel guy was that a guy wearing a hoodie checked into room 215 and he looked at some brochure for Conway Springs Lodge, which wasn't far away but closed this time of year.

Dean and I headed to the lodge where we found a girl sitting on the bottom of a bunk bed looking distressed.

"Hey! Who the hell are you?!" Dean shouted as she shied away from his flashlight.

"Answer me!" he growled as she sobbed.

"Please make it go away. It hurts so much," she whimpered.

"What?" Dean asked as I noticed a light switch and turned it on.

"No, shut them off!" she cried, "They're too bright!"

"Not shutting them off till you tell us what the hell's going on," I told her.

She brought her hands up to feel her teeth as she vamped out, "What's happening to me?"

"Come here," Dean ordered, moving quickly to yank her off the bed and level his machete ready to swing if needed. "You telling me that's never happened before?"

"No. No, there's something wrong with me. That - that guy, he did something to me."

"What guy?" I asked.

"I don't know," she whimpered. "Some guy in a blue van, he - he grabbed me. He took me here," she doubled over grabbing her stomach. "My stomach, it hurts so much.

I was just starting to put it all together - she was a fresh vamp and could be saved, but then Krissy appeared with a gun and her two besties.

If looks could kill both Dean and vamp girl would have melted as Dean ordered the kids to put their weapons away.

Krissy wanted to know why we were with the vampire that killed her father and Dean told her that wasn't the vamp that killed her dad.

"I don't want to hurt you, Dean, but I will if you don't move," Krissy told him.

"Don't do it kid," I warned, sheathing my machete with one hand and unholstering my gun with the other - a nice skill I'd learned from the boys. "That girl over there is innocent."

"How would you know that?" Josephine spat.

"Because she's fresh made, a day or two at most," Dean answered.

"Yeah and Krissy's dad was killed months ago," I reminded.

"This whole thing stinks. That vamp that was killed last night? Why was he swearing that he didn't do it?" Dean asked, trying to reason with the teens.

Aiden reasoned it was because he was a liar.

"No that's not it. Vampires don't beg for their lives," I told him.

"She's right," Dean confirmed, "Vamps attack, they don't beg or negotiate. Look, last time I'm gonna ask nicely, take your guns off me or somebody's gonna get hurt."

"Big talk," quipped Aiden.

I noticed Dean's eyes flick from me to Krissy and took that as my sign to move, in just a couple of quick moves Dean had disarmed Aiden while I'd gotten Krissy's. Josephine thankfully froze up and just stood there pointing her gun at the vampire girl.

"So, let's say this isn't the vamp who killed my dad. She's still a monster and deserves to die," Krissy growled.

The poor woman was in pain and flinched when Krissy said that.

Dean stated firmly, "Not if we can save her."

Aiden was surprised, glancing about wildly, "What?"

"She hasn't fed yet. We can reverse this if we find her maker and get his blood," Dean stated.

"It's true," I confirmed. "I've seen it work."

"And why should we care about her?" Aiden scoffed.

"Like I said, hunting isn't always about killin'," Dean replied.

"Oh, please. Preach to some other choir. We're not buying it," Aiden snarked.

"You want to kill an innocent girl?!" I shouted, turning to Krissy, "You're really willing to put that on your head?"

Aiden eyed me but kept kis mouth shut.

"I want the blood sucker who killed my dad to pay," Krissy grumbled.

Dean promised her, "And we're gonna find out who that is. But let's not be so bloodthirsty that just anyone will do."

Josephine finally spoke, "But Victor says it's her."

"And I say it ain't! So we're gonna pack her to go, and we're gonna ask Victor ourselves. Okay?"

When we walked back into Victor's house Sam was tied up, and hoodie guy was there, offering a smile full of vampire teeth when the kids walked in.

"What's going on here?" Josephine wanted to know.

"They are not to be trusted," Victor growled. "They're trying to destroy us."

"Do you know this vamp, Victor?" Aiden asked,

"Of course he does!" Sam spat.

"They are working together aren't they Sam?" I asked.

A myriad of emotions crossed Aiden's face, "Is that true?"

"It's complicated," Victor replied.

"No, actually, it's not," Dean told them. "See, blue van here's been turning fresh vamps and setting them up for you guys as easy kills."

"But why?" Josephine looked horrified.

"Because they didn't kill our families did they."

"No," Victor stated simply.

"Well, then who did?" Josephine asked.

"I did. And they all screamed," hoodie vamp answered. "They screamed and begged for mercy, especially the little ones."

"Enough, Seth!" shouted Victor.

"Let me kill him and we won't have to listen to his bullshit," I hissed.

Ignoring me, Victor continued to explain that he was trying to make a better future.

"He killed them off your orders?" Krissy sneered.

"You needed motivation and I scouted each and every one of you," Victor replied before continuing to explain that he knew it was the only way to get them to hunt.

"So in short your families all died because he demanded it. He's lied to you and been using you."

"Don't you see? This is bigger than all of us. We have to learn to put things in perspective. Come with me. We can get past this."

The next few seconds happened in a blur - Victor tossed his gun to the couch and gave the vamp a look which seemed to be his cue.

Seth the vamp grabbed Aiden, hissing and threatening to bite him.

Krissy kept her gun on Victor, stopping him for a moment.

He reminded her that he taught her everything she knew and then he threatened her, "Don't make me hurt you."

"You hurt her, I'll kill you myself," I stated, reminding him I was in the corner not too far away.

"You didn't teach me everything," Krissy quipped and while Victor's attention was split between us, he nearly missed Josephine pulling a knife and lunging at him, Krissy shot past all of it, hitting Seth in the eye and the chest with the darts filled with dead man's blood.

By the time Victor righted himself and realized what she'd done, Krissy had pulled her handgun out.

"Krissy don't," Dean and I ordered.

"If we want revenge for our families' deaths, he gives it to us!"

"We don't kill people," Dean barked.

"Krissy, you don't kill people."

"He's not a person. He's a monster!" she shouted, taking a step toward him.

Victor backed up and dropped to his knees.

"Krissy, this ends bad, no matter what we do," Sam told her.

She pointed the gun directly at Victor's head, "Exactly," before Dean or I could finish taking a step in her direction she cocked her gun and pulled the trigger.

"This is for my dad." she stated.

Victor jumps at the sound, gasping frantically as Krissy pulls the trigger again.

"For Josephine's family."

As she pulled it again, I began to wonder if this was some terrible Russian Roulette and there'd be a round in there at some point.

"For Aiden," she said, pulling it again.

And the fourth time she pulled the trigger she remarked, "For me."

Although each pull was a dry fire Victor appeared more and more distraught. Once she was satisfied she dropped the bullets that weren't in the gun and looked over at Dean.

"So, we just let him live?" Aiden asked.

"Yeah. All alone, with himself," Krissy answered. "No family. No friends. If you ask me. That's not much of anything," she turned back to Dean. "Now, let's go save that girl."

I turned my attention to cutting Sam free and heard Josephine yell, "Gun," about two seconds before the boom of a gun Victor apparently had hidden on himself went off.

I stood up glancing about in horror expecting to see Krissy or Dean bleeding out, instead it was Victor. The thought of being fully alone once again had driven him to take his own life.

I cut Sam free and we worked to help the kids clean up the living-room and make the potion to reverse the vampirism - if the girl was lying about not feeding we'd have a third body to bury and if she was telling the truth - she'd be in pain for a bit longer but would regain her full humanity and be fine.

Sam had cleaned up the necklace that used to be Krissy's dad before handing it off to her and telling us he was going to wait outside.

"Okay. Whenever you're ready, we'll be in the car," Dean said.

Confused Krissy asked, "What are you talking about?"

"Your aunt? Cincinnati? Normal life? We'll be there by lunch tomorrow."

"Yeah, you and I can play music on my phone and sing loudly to annoy Dean," I grinned.

"Yeah, no," she shook her head, "Look, I hate how we were put together, but...I can't deny that it feels right. And why should I let Victor ruin that, too?"

"So, what you're saying is that you like that boy over there and you want to stay?" Dean asked.

"What? Aiden? No. I mean... He's like my brother. It's nothing like that," she replied with all the wrong answers.

"I can see right through you Krissy," I whispered, "I get it if I were your age, he'd probably give me butterflies too, but you gotta be careful."

"Yeah, and you're all still minors."

"Not for long. Josephine will be 18 in a few months. And we all have a life and each other here. As long as we lay low nobody will notice until it's too late to stop us from living alone."

"And hunting?" Dean and I asked in unison.

"We won't go looking for it. But if any monsters show up around here, they better look out."

"Okay. Good," Dean smiled at her.

"Really? I thought I was gonna have to fight you way more on that."

"Oh don't worry, if you go looking for hunts I'll find out and I'll be right back here to haul you to your auntie's house myself," I told her.

"Ditto to what she said," Dean smirked. "You're right. You're not a kid anymore. You can make your own decisions, but if you make dumb ones we'll find out and be back here to deal with it our way."

"Ok," she grinned. "Ya know you're alright for an old guy."

"I'm really not that old," he replied.

"You keep telling yourself that," she quipped and Dean rolled his eyes.

"Huh. All right. Well, I'm gonna have a, uh --a guy come and check on you every once in a while, okay? His name is Garth. He'll make sure that you're all right and you got what you need."

"Garth?" she asked.

"Yeah. He's a little strange at first, but you'll come to love him," I told her.

Dean nodded in agreement, and held up a fist for a fist bump; rather than giving him a fist bump Krissy grabbed his hand and stretched on her tip toes and kissed his cheek.

"Take care, Dean."

Krissy gave me a hug and walked back into the living-room to check on the vampire cure progression.

Aiden, having obviously seen the kiss, jealously called out, "Yeah. Goodbye, Dean."

Before he could duck back into the kitchen we called him over.

"Listen buddy,"

I held up a hand, "I gotta tell you something about Krissy."

He rolled his eyes, "I know. I know," Aiden glanced from Dean to me. "You'll kill me if I ever hurt her. Blah. Blah. Blah."

"No, no. No. She'll kill you," Dean said, glancing at Krissy before patting Aiden on the back and exiting the house.

"Oh, and if for some reason she doesn't finish the job. I will, don't do anything to that girl without her consent and don't you dare hurt her physically or otherwise," I grinned broadly and walked out the door after Dean. 

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