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when tumblr dies i'll live under your bed and you can say out loud what you would post and i will say LIKE or REBLOG it'll be just like we're still here

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dropping food when you're already sad is such an intense emotion. Just the most fucking wretched self indulgent pity. One time I spilled a bowl of ice cream when i had already spent most of the day sobbing and honestly im still chasing that high
The need for academic validation is strong today.
Stayed at the school library today, i spent 2ish hours tryna complete 100 Q&A before heading home. I only got to Q50.
Idk why i spent so little time there but felt like i was sitting in the coldest spot for more than 2hrs
i bought my office Ma cappuccino but she wasn't where she's supposed to be so i left the coffee she let get cold on her desk. i messaged her and she said she was going to come back and see me but she took too long, i had to say bye.
on my way home i bumped into my old team leader. she was on her way to Templo for a meeting or practice.

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changes and trends in horror-genre films are linked to the anxieties of the culture in its time and place. Vampires are the manifestation of grappling with sexuality; aliens, of foreign influence. Horror from the Cold War is about apathy and annihilation; classic Japanese horror is characterised by ânatureâs revengeâ; psychological horror plays with anxieties that absorbed its audience, like pregnancy/abortion, mental illness, femininity. Some horror presses on the bruise of being trapped in a situation with upsetting tasks to complete, especially ones that compromise you as a person - reflecting the horrors and anxieties of capitalism etc etc etc. Cosmic horror is slightly out of fashion because our culture is more comfortable with, even wistful for, âthe unknown.â Monster horror now has to be aware of itself, as a contingent of people now live in the freedom and comfort of saying âI would willingly, gladly, even preferentially fuck that monster.â But I donât know much about films or genres: that ground has been covered by cleverer people.
I donât actually like horror or movies. What interests me at the moment is how horror of the 2020s has an element of perception and paying attention.
Multiple movies in one year discussed monsters that killed you if you perceived them. There are monsters you canât look at; monsters that kill you instantly if you get their attention. Monsters where you have to be silent, look down, hold still: pray that they pass over you. M Zombies have changed from a hand-waved virus that covers extras in splashy gore, to insidious spores. A disaster film is called Donât Look Up, a horror film is called Nope. Even trashy nun horror sets up strange premises of keeping your eyes fixed on something as the devil GETS you.
No idea if this is anything. (I havenât seen any of these things because, unfortunately, I hate them.) Someone who understands better than me could say something clever here, and I hope they do.
But the thing Iâm thinking about is what this will look like to the future, as the Victorian sex vampires and Cold War anxieties look to us. I think theyâll have a little sympathy, but they probably wonât. You poor little prey animals, the kids will say, you were awfully afraid of facing up to things, werenât you?
I'm like one hour from going to bed so my take is not going to be extensive but my guess is that the social anxiety this is reflecting is the surveillance state. And the fact that private companies (i.e. not just the state) are also doing a ton of surveillance. And even the fact that the way we often use social media -- less so Tumblr, which has some anonymity still -- is basically internalising that surveillance and performing for it at all times.
It seems like there are two modes going on here: "avoid being perceived by the horror" (Bird Box, A Quiet Place etc) and "perform correctly so that the horror can't get you" (your trashy nun example). Both of them arise from surveillance logics; one is "avoid being surveilled or it will Get you", the other is "you are being surveilled, perform correctly or it will Get you".
And with regard to the social elements it's all reflecting, I mean -- have you seen the state of things? It's extremely difficult to avoid being surveilled! A monster where you have to not look at it is fucking easy mode by comparison!
(Pretend I cited Michel Foucault and Erving Goffman; they're relevant but also it's bedtime.)
Ooh yes, and breaking it down like this made me think:
- fear of observation (surveillance state)
- fear of not performing correctly (purity culture and evangelical backlashes)
- fear of confronting existential threat (climate change)
my contribution to this extremely salient and clever discussion is to say: I think we should call this subgenre panopticonsequence horror
The Ultimate Dark Academia Book Recommendation Guide Ever
The title of this post is clickbait. I, unfortunately, have not read every book ever. Not all of these books are particularly âdarkâ either. However, these are my recommendations for your dark academia fix. The quality of each of these books varies. I have limited this list to books that are directly linked to the world of academia and/or which have a vaguely academic setting.
Dark Academia staples:
The Secret History by Donna Tartt
If We Were Villains by M.L. Rio
Dead Poets Society by Nancy H. Kleinbaum
Vita Nostra by Maryna Dyachenko
Dark academia litfic or contemporary:
Bunny by Mona Awad
The Idiot by Elif Batuman
These Violent Delights by Micah Nemerever
White Ivy by Susie Yang
The Cloisters by Katy Hays
Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro
The Lake of Dead Languages by Carol Goodman
A Separate Peace by John Knowles
Black Chalk by Christopher J. Yates
Attribution by Linda Moore
Dark academia thrillers or horror:
In My Dreams I Hold a Knife by Ashley Winstead
The Maidens by Alex Michaelides
Ghosts of Harvard by Francesca Serritella
Catherine House by Elisabeth Thomas
Plain Bad Heroines by Emily M. Danforth
They Never Learn by Layne Fargo
The It Girl by Ruth Ware
Never Saw Me Coming by Vera Kurian
Dark academia fantasy/sci-fi:
Babel: An Arcane History by R.F. Kuang
The Atlas Six by Olivie Blake
Ninth House by Leigh Bardugo
A Lesson in Vengeance by Victoria Lee
The Starless Sea by Erin Morgenstern
Vicious by V.E. Schwab
A Discovery of Witches by Deborah Harkness
The Betrayals by Bridget Collins
Dark academia romance:
Gothikana by RuNyx
Alone With You in the Ether by Olivie Blake
Dark academia YA or MG:
Truly Devious by Maureen Johnson
A Deadly Education by Naomi Novik
Ace of Spades by Faridah ĂbĂkĂŠ-ĂyĂmĂdĂŠ
The Raven Boys by Maggie Stiefvater
Legendborn by Tracy Deonn
Crave by Tracy Wolff
Wilder Girls by Rory Power
The Harry Potter series by J.K. Rowling
Dark academia miscellaneous:
My Dark Vanessa by Kate Elizabeth Russell
Disorientation by Elaine Hsieh Chou
Alphabet of Thorn by Patricia A. McKillip
I do not respect the grind. Go to bed
Rainy Season in the Tropics by Frederic Edwin Church.
on shame and yearning (pt.2)
Sources:
S.T., "300122," Tumblr, January 30, 2022, https://www.tumblr.com/ryebreadgf/674840497145233408/300122-st.
Silas Denver Melvin, "love as an act of merciful conquer," Tumblr, November 2, 2021, https://www.tumblr.com/sweatermuppet/669052643259432960/from-love-as-an-act-of-merciful-conquer-by-silas.
chandajaan, Tumblr, accessed via https://rockboci.tumblr.com/post/674728141263093760.
Richard Siken, "Birds Hover the Trampled Field," in War of the Foxes (April 28, 2015).
Emily Palermo, "What I Could Never Confess Without Some Bravado," The Rising Phoenix Review, March 15, 2016, https://therisingphoenixreview.com/2016/03/15/what-i-could-never-confess-without-some-bravado-by-emily-palermo/.
Georges Bataille, My Mother/Madame Edwarda/The Dead Man (January 1, 1966).
Sylvia Plath, The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath (April 1, 2000).
Frank O'Hara, "Homosexuality," Poetry Foundation, May 1970, https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poetrymagazine/browse?contentId=31570.
Heather Havrilesky, "I'm Broke and Mostly Friendless, and I've Wasted My Whole Life," The Cut, November 28, 2018, https://www.thecut.com/2018/11/im-broke-and-friendless-and-ive-wasted-my-whole-life.html.
Lucille Clifton, "climbing," in The Book of Light (July 1, 1992).

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my favourite study method is asking everyone to pray for me
one thing i need to start living by is âbecome the thing that you wantâ if i want friends who throw themed parties maybe i should start throwing those parties. if i want someone who writes me love letters maybe i should start writing letters for the people i love. if i want to hang out at museums and pretty cafes maybe i should invite my friends to these places. and maybe even then i wonât find the kind of people i want to be around. but then i would have become the exact person i want to be around. and maybe thatâs good enough.
Iâm sorry!!! Iâm sorry that we canât go back!!! And for all the things we canât remember. But Iâm glad we did it!! The love will always be there!
@ august please be a little gentle with me Iâm so tired

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According to the article, all clothing for the photo shoot was designed for women, per Millerâs request. He rocks it.