Rest in peace to the incredible Anthony Stewart Head (20th February 1954 - 1st June 2026)
RUPERT GILES in BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER (1997-2003)
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2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
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@kaydeefalls
Rest in peace to the incredible Anthony Stewart Head (20th February 1954 - 1st June 2026)
RUPERT GILES in BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER (1997-2003)

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it is a day of askmemes apparently, and i'm here for it! thanks @thirdspin for the tag.
šµ last song I listened to: Six soundtrack! getting hyped for the Tonys tonight.
šŗ last series: current series of Taskmaster, and also How to Get to Heaven from Belfast (which is deeply weird but I'm definitely enjoying)
š¬ last movie: finally watched Stand By Me, which is...I think the last of the Rob Reiner classics I hadn't already seen.
š best thing about the last month: had a little joint birthday party last night with a few friends (my wife and i have bdays only 3 weeks apart, so we split the difference and celebrated it right between them). we haven't been able to be social much lately, so that was really nice.
š currently reading: lots and lots of fic, let's be real. I just finished The Jasmine Throne by Tasha Suri last week (do recommend) and haven't yet decided what book to start next.
šŗ currently watching: Tony Awards start in 15 mins! look, i'm a lifelong theater kid, it's my thing.
š® currently playing: i'm not much of a video gamer, apart from my lifelong addiction to the Civ series. so, that.
š¾ currently working on: siiiiiigh. my birthday is in 10 days and i desperately want to post fic for it as a present to myself, but i've been stuck in writer's block for months now and the fic i'm poking at is gonna be longer than i can churn out by then. i dunno, my RL has been improving gradually from the crisis we were in six months ago, but my writing brain is still in burnout mode and it bums me out.
š¶ļø sweet/spicy/savory?: sweet, as a general rule.
šØ favorite color: purple! but any jewel tones are nice.
𤩠current obsession: let's be real, it's still Heartstopper.
āļø tea or coffee?: neither. chai latte if i must.
š last internet search: lol apparently "can you substitute soy milk for milk baking" because i baked Pride cookies for our party and the recipe called for only 2 tbsp of milk, which is SO not worth buying a whole carton of milk i won't otherwise drink. so yes, in this case, it substituted just fine.
tagging anyone who feels like sharing!
THE CORE FOUR: Buffy, Willow, Xander, & Giles
BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER (1997ā2003)
This or that, tropes! tagged by @auspiciousme - let's go! i feel much more strongly about some of these than others.
slow burn or love at first sight // fake dating or secret dating // enemies to lovers or best friends to lovers // thereās only one bed or long-distance correspondence // hurt/comfort or amnesia // fantasy au or modern au // mutual pining or domestic bliss // smut or fluff // canon-compliant or fix-it // reincarnation or character death // one-shot or multi-chapter // kid fic or road trip fic // arranged marriage or accidental marriage // high-school romance or middle-age romance // time travel or isolated together // neighbours or roommates // sci-fi au or magic au // body swap or gender bent // angst or crack // apocalyptic or mundane
tagging anyone who wants to play along!
i get the vibe that people are reading less fic these days. confirm/deny?
in terms of reading fanfiction in the last six+ months...
i have been reading less fic lately for various reasons
i have been reading less fic and i'll tell you right now it's because of AI
i would like to read more but i'm in a fic reading slump
i never read all that much fic (less than one story per week)
i almost never read fic (less than once a month)
i read the same amount of fic as ever
i have been reading more fic lately
nuance/bald/i'll tell you in comments
"because of AI" i mean because of the number of fics that are written using AI.

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lie to me
Sam Reid & Jacob Anderson GQ HYPE Shoot Behind The Scenes
One hot and cool writing tip that I wish more people knew is... you don't have to write out people's accents phonetically. You just don't. You are not Dickens. You are (hopefully) not Rowling. There are so many other ways you can make someone's speech feel authentic to their background, or just make it clear that they're speaking in a certain accent, not limited to:
literally just saying 'he spoke with a Welsh accent'; sure, it's a bit blunt, but it gets the job done in a pinch. "He's completely drunk," he said, his southern drawl lingering on the final syllable as if to highlight the extent of the offence. Y'know, something of that ilk, but not as shit.
learning the specific vocabulary and syntax that someone with that accent might use. Sticking with the Welsh theme, because it's objectively the best accent*, there's a bunch of things that differentiate a colloquial South Walean accent, outside of our famed tendency to elongate a vowel to the point of death. The way we use prepositions (where to by is he?), the vocabulary borrowed from Welsh - saying that someone daft is twp, or something small is dwty - can easily signpost our speech as being from that specific area, without needing to type something like "'e's absolutely 'angin', man, pissed as a faaht 'e is!" Something less jarring, such as "He's absolutely hanging, he is." is just as clear. A character who says "Do you want a cuppa?" is coded or located very differently to one who says "You'll have a cup of tea, so you will."
ditto if there are specific ways that someone from a certain area might refer to a well-known concept. Regional words for mother and father, for example, or words that are class-specific; your character who calls his parents 'mater and pater' is likely inhabiting a different socioeconomic strata than your character who calls them 'mam and dad'. See if there's a colloquial way of saying 'yes' and 'no'; a lot can be signposted if your character says 'nah' rather than 'no', or 'aye' rather than 'yes'. A character saying 'couch' is inherently coded differently to one who says 'sofa'.
The reasons that writing accents phonetically is Generally Ill-Advised, In My Opinion are as follows:
quite simply, you're probably not being as clear in conveying the sounds of the accent as you think you are. Taking JK Rowling's work as the best possible example of this, her attempts at writing a Cockney accent phonetically come across like someone is chewing a mouthful of cheese curds and struggling to contain them. There's no consistency, no proper understanding of how to transcribe syllables into writing in a way that coherently conveys the accent she's trying to portray. I mean this so seriously, but what the flying fuck is: 'Well, 'e 'ad these 'ead pains and 'e was def'nitley nervous. Depressed maybe.' It's a crime, is what it is.
it's just plain hard to read. Trying to wade through sentences full of apostrophes and elision, parsing what's actually being said, gets tiresome. It asks the reader to do work that you're actively making harder for them. And that's not always a bad thing! Making readers Put Some Fucking Effort In can be very fruitful! But do you really want them to be struggling to understand every single thing that your Character B is saying for 350 pages?
which leads me onto the last point, and the most important in my mind: writing out accents like this always, always affects accents that are already in some way Othered. They're either racialised or working class, or associated with certain local regions that have negative stereotypes - think the deep South of the US, or the Welsh Valleys. They're never the 'default'. And this raises thorny questions about what the default is, what the standardised accent is, the accents that do and do not merit differentiation from the norm. You're relegating Character B to being hard to read because he's from, idk, Sunderland. You've decided that he isn't speaking 'properly', and therefore the reader needs to understand that other people think he's speaking weirdly. That, to me, is the principle issue. Because returning to JK Rowling (a sentence I hoped never to type), the only characters who speak like this in her work are working class, or they're from other countries. They're never from, you know, Surrey. Wonder why that is. And it's easy to be glib about it, but I do think it reifies class and regional boundaries in a way that's ultimately harmful.
This isn't to say that there's never a place for eye dialect in writing - Trainspotting (edit to respond to some legitimate comments in the reblogs: I bring up Trainspotting because it's written in Scots and Scottish English, not just Scots, but I agree that this isn't the best example as the Scots portions are not part of this conversation in the same way; consider Their Eyes Were Watching God by Zora Neale Hurston as a better example, and apologies for the confusion!) wouldn't be what it is without it, and there's definitely a different conversation to be had when it's your own accent and you're making a deliberate point about identity by differentiating through eye dialect - but I think that the blanket assumption of 'oh shit, my character is from Ireland, I'd better type that out phonetically!' can actually be both damaging to your writing and to your character representation, and I think that instead doing the work to really understand the vocabulary, speech patterns and unique aspects of a language or dialect always makes a work feel more authentic and lived-in.
To wit, less of this shite:
Thereās mony a slip, anā Iām no losinā sight oā any oā my suspectit pairsons, juist yet awhile. (One of the Lord Peter Wimsey novels by the very English Dorothy L. Sayers, if you were wondering, and yes, that's supposed to be a Scottish accent; I'd not be bringing it up if it were a Scottish author writing in Scots)
and more of this:
"Are we straight so?"
"Aye, we're straight," said Jim.
"Straight as a rush, so we are." (Jamie O'Neill, Irish, from At Swim, Two Boys)
*objective determination made via a sample size of one: me, in an elaborate hat.
āBecause the truth is, tech doesnāt have an image problem. It doesnāt have a message problem. It has an intention problem. Whatās wrong with the axe murderer who broke into my house is not that he hasnāt successfully persuaded me to buy into his narrative. Whatās wrong is that heās trying to kill me with an axe. Similarly, when you launch a product thatās designed to put millions of people out of work, block access to sources of verifiable truth, replace human creativity with slop, and lower the barriers to every sort of atrocity, the problem isnāt that you havenāt told the public a good story about those things. The problem is that you are trying to do them.ā
ā The 40 Most Rage-Inducing Problems in Tech
Since you donāt respect my opinion anyway, quit pestering me to fill out a survey after every single consumer experience. I keep wondering who looks at these surveys. Is the CEO sitting in his wood-paneled office, reading each individual response on an old-timey stock ticker? If so, you can keep doing this. If not, I rate this experience zero stars out of infinity.
"what is this BABY doing in space!???"
-Rocky, probably

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I had this freshman tell me she ācouldnātā audition because she was too scared of the stage, and might have a panic attack. I asked how she felt about walking around onstage in costume and not saying any lines. That was fine. I was like okay awesome letās lay some groundwork now and maybe senior year you can have like three lines!
I remember this kid who came into an audition and froze up, just couldnāt speak. Competent reader and speaker but when people were watching she couldnāt do a thing.
We cast her anyway, in a chorus role. Offered her lots of support and encouragement and kindness and grace.
At the next audition she whispered. Anyone who had never seen her before would have thought she was the most nervous kid there. But the directing team was abuzz afterward. Did you see? She did it! Once or twice I could actually almost hear her! Amazing.
Got cast again, in a chorus role. Sheād been making friends with the other kids, and they offered her encouragement too.
And the next audition we said wow I can hear her! Sheās speaking! Letās give her a handful of lines! She can do it!
Anyway as a mentor in the performing arts these things are huge wins for me. Some kids are competent and confident performers at 7 or 8 almost by nature. Others, even much older kids and adults, have to make progress by inches. But progress is exciting! The only place to go is up!
If a student is encouraged properly, theatre is one of the best sources of self-esteem, self-reflection, and both spontaneous and rehearsed eloquence/comprehensibility that there is. It truly could be considered a cornerstone for communication disciplines of all kinds if it just attracted the right people to teach it. (Unfortunately a lot of people are attracted to directing for a sense of power over others, and not an interest in mentoring and coaching.)
No. Fuck. No.
The 72-year-old British actor also had roles in shows including Merlin and Little Britain.
Local house witch telling you to please learn basic housekeeping skills.
Itās not your fault if no one ever taught you but YouTube is a magical place and can teach you at your own pace.
Someone asked me what housekeeping skills Iād recommend learning.
Keep in ming that this is not me shaming you, I know you have your reasons, folks. This is just a guy who enjoys clean spaces asking that you start learning now.
Hereās what I suggest as an adult who has lived with other adults who didnāt have housekeeping skills:
First and foremost, learn about all the places in your house that need to be cleaned and understand how often they should be cleaned. the American Cleaning Institute (I guess thatās a thing) has a good article about basic cleaning info. Plus this video on cleaning tips is great!
Learn how to do your dishes. HOT water is the only way to clean your dishes.
Learn how to clean your shower head, especially if you live in a place with hard water. Same goes for your sinks.
Learn how to do your laundry correctly. Even without the whole āseparating whites and colorsā thing, there are things you need to learn about washing your clothes. Learn what the tags mean, too.
Also, you donāt have to use fabric softener and you shouldnāt use it on towels or any fabric meant to absorb. (Learn about laundromats) And please learn how to clean out your dryer vent, itās a safety hazard!
Get a disinfecting cleaner for your high-touch areas, especially the gross ones like the bathroom. Just because it doesnāt look dirty, doesnāt mean itās clean!
Learn how to sweep, mop, and vacuum effectively.
Youāll also want to make sure to change out your homeās air filters.
TL;DR, here are some cleaning videos.
How to Clean Everything in Your Bathroom
How to Clean Everything in Your Kitchen
Livingroom Cleaning Routine
How to Clean Everything in Your Bedroom
Now these resources are not the end-all-be-all, but I think if you donāt know much about cleaning your space this is a good way to start.
hereās some of the things that are helping me actually clean (as an adult who had messy parents, and has a hard time getting threw my nurodivergency about cleaning specifically) that may be helpful to you:
Favorite Cleaning Book: it helps you work through the emotional side of cleaning (and other care tasks)
Current Favorite Decluttering Method/Concept: it helps you know how much is too much to keep and how to get started when youāre overwhelmed. (having too much stuff makes it incredibly hard to clean/organize.)
Basic Cleaning Skills: this channel is amazing! this man has a special interest in cleaning and cleans peopleās spaces who deal nurodivergence that make it hard to clean. he does this for free (or at a deficit because he pays for supplies and dumpsters and transport and such) and does it all with empathy and kindness working With the people as much as people can handle instead of just coming in to āfixā an issue. these videos are a bit different from his usual ones, (the last oneās most like his usual videos) but i find having the sped up cleaning videos with a voiceover can help fill in for body doubling when im too ashamed to bring people into my messy spaces.
Iām gonna queue this as well so youāll be seeing it again from me in a few months without any comments on it, but this is all good things to know
Unpopular opinion but reading a lot does not automatically make you a better writer and i'm tired of pretending it does. Reading makes you a better reader. Writing makes you a better writer. They're related but they're not the same thing. You can read every book ever written and still not know how to be honest on the page. That part you have to earn separately and it costs more.
I mean, I see what you're saying, but it doesn't meaningfully change anything in what that advice is getting across. If a person is already a writer, you'd have to willfully ignore the point to understand "be a better reader and you'll be a better writer" as "you don't need to practice." It's more if a "as you read, you will come across approaches, perspectives, and techniques that will inspire you to test your craft in new and exciting ways, so fill your cup if it ever feels stale or stuck."
Writing's an act of love. If it ever gets choked out by fear (of failure, inadequacy, clichĆØ, etc), and clarity and honesty feel out of reach, the easiest way to dig it back is not to beat yourself up over inadequate skill, but to find that love in other stuff. Reading is writing in the same way firewood is flame. The spark happens in your mind.
also because I just saw someone being like "I don't wanna read and imitate other people, I wanna write like myself!" and had feelings about it:
girl. I am holding you so gently right now. this is abject loneliness that you're subjecting yourself to. reading other people's thoughts doesn't take away from your own perspective, but what it gives you is the words to express yourself so that you will understand you. It gives you the literary vocabulary (images! symbols! metaphors! comparisons! pacing!) of your culture/s of choice, and shows you how use them to make sense of what you feel and what want to say, and then express it in a way that other people will understand you too. Literature isn't a rally where there's one voice blaring out for others to listen, it's a conversation. You're writing to be read. You and your readers will need a common language. You acquire that language by reading widely. And then not only do you get better at expressing your feelings to others, you find others who feel the same, and suddenly the world's a greater and more beautiful place where you can go, "you too?! I thought it was just me!"
I promise this is not taking one whit of your individuality away. You might be exposing yourself to all of those outside influences but the I in the centre, the mind that decides and interacts and feels, that's the voice that will always be unique. You just gotta channel it in a way that can be understood.
If you wanna write: read. Please.
I love vague labels that make people go "but that's confusing" or "but that could mean anything" Good. Keep guessing lol
"Queer doesn't actually tell me anything" who says I wanted to tell you anything. Who even are you.

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"Scrooge learns the true meaning of Bisexual Awareness Week" Make Some Noise Season 3 Episode 11