The Cat Factory

1. We promise never to contact you at all under any circumstances, other than maybe if we as a company have been drinking and it is late at night and we start to dwell on lost marketing opportunities and the great sales of the past that our current merchandising never seems to live up to. It is possible that we may text you then to limply say ‘what’s up?’; an action that we will miserably dwell on the next morning as we try to charm our corporate hangover away with bad coffee.

2. Information is very important to us. Did you know that crickets have ears on their knees? That’s your information now, we’ve bequeathed it to you. Look after it carefully.

3. Well, you have been careless with your data, haven’t you? Now, we as a company care very deeply about the security of your data. Dare we say the sanctity of your data. That is why we realise the only way to keep your data safe is to take it away from you. We’ll be starting with the usual: mother’s maiden name, first pet and so on. Remember them? I didn’t think so.

4. Our privacy policy is that, once you have signed up to the service, we will follow you around forever in the form of a grey ghostly figure with great staring eyes and a sombre froglike mouth, watching your every move and silently judging them against a moral system that will always remain a mystery to you. We apply this policy without discrimination to all users and, as a supernatural service, I’m sure you will agree that it is outside the remit of earthly law.

5. Let’s put it this way: we recognise the importance to our business plan of us continuing to send you letters which, although you say you do not want, you will nevertheless dutifully scroll through to see if there is something important at the end and maybe idly click on a link if there is something you are supposed to be doing next that you would rather put off.

6. Our privacy policy is that we will turn on the tap or hum or something while you are in the toilet because we know sound carries in here, if you could do the same for us that would be much appreciated, you wouldn’t think a company would need to use the toilet but it’s one of the great drawbacks of corporate personhood, don’t ask.

7. Continuing to use this kitchen means that you agree to have cookies placed on your device. If your device cannot eat cookies why did you bring it in here. This is a cookie kitchen. We do not serve robots.

8. I’m sure you’ll appreciate we can’t release our privacy policy to just anyone. Come to the Jolly Woodpecker at 11 and ask at the back bar for Dave. The woman who trips over your foot will have left a note in your pocket. If you agree then mumble a confused apology at her for leaving your foot in the way. If not then we’re afraid under data protection legislation we will not be able to send you on any more missions.

Tumblr’s at it again, thanks to the new European Privacy Laws. There’s probably nobody who will read this, but it pissed me off so much that I decided to make a post about it. (Ignore the weird language mish-mash, depending on your country the language might differ.)

OK, so many of us get this screen when we try to access our dash:

Realise how the ‘OK’ button is a nice, attention-grabbing blue? If you’re like me, you’re not exactly into reading a 100 pages document and tend to just click it.

My tip? DONT. Instead click on ‘Manage Options’ right next to it:

Now you’ll see this page:

Still pretty harmless, right? That ‘Accept’ button is looking really attractive right now. Instead, click on Verwalten (Probably something like ‘Manage Options’ or something in english) and you’ll get to this page:

Now that’s not too bad, right? I just switched all the buttons to ‘off’, because I’m jealously guarding my personal information and don’t want Tumblr to go off and do who knows what with it. Looks like we’re done! But wait: There’s a SHOW option.

When we click on that one, what we will get is this:

A HUGE list with OVER 300 ENTRIES of companies that can use your data by default if you’d just clicked ‘OK’ on that very first page. Coincidence that this list is hidden that much? Me thinks not. They’re all switched on by default, but I am still a petty bitch that doesn’t want to give out her data, so I switched them all off. All 300+ of them. There is no option to switch them all off at once, and even if you disable all the options above, the companies are still switched on.

Coven of the Inarticulate Podcast Episode 1   - Interview with some people who really like vampires

Come along and meet the POTP (people of the podcast GET IT??? GET IT???). In this episode we talk about the Vampire Chronicles and why we like them enough to set up a cross continental podcast about them.

Coven of the Inarticulate is an international podcast about Anne Rice’s The Vampire Chronicles hosted by @claudiasashes, @theballadofmrslovett, @monstersinthecosmos and @theraphaellus. We hope you’ll give it a listen!

And this:

And a little bit of this and this:

So that it would be like this now:

Meone: /’meo:ne/ meh-OH-neh, with stress on the meh.

Cruipne /’crubne/ CRUB-neh.

Breone /’breo:ne/ breh-OH-neh, stress on breh.

Beautiful Bengal Cat Suki Adds Magic With Her Dazzling Sea Blue Eyes Against Nature

35 - Lindell / Ceres

Lindell is a spirit - a water nymph, to be exact - who inhabits the Lindell River, a small and polluted river that trundles sluggishly around between the factories.  Greasy out-flows and vats of mechanical effluent are dumped into his home daily, and have since the factories first came in the early 19th century.  He wouldn’ve have it any other way.  Like any nature spirit, his nature is inextricably tied to the landscape in which he has his roots: the river is disgusting, industrial, oily and happy to help, and so is he.