AWWWKWAARRRDDD

this is the kind of room a supervillain grows up in

Eevee said fuck cops

My body is but a #reptile temple.

oh this one is accurate

it only just occurred to me that this post is way funnier if you know that my dad has had a scar on his face since before i was born, left there by a dachshund attack

the world could use more intense young women

the world could also use more strange young women

the world could also use more angry young women

The world could use more strange women laying in ponds and distributing swords

That’s no basis for government.

I don’t know how well democracy is doing, let’s see how the sword thing works out.

when will a husband and wife who are widely rumored to be vampires invite me up to their once-gorgeous mansion which has fallen into some disrepair and then serve a beautiful meal that they barely pick at, sipping from glasses of dry red wine instead as they take turns complimenting me borderline-salaciously while shooting each other conspiratorial looks that i don’t know how to interpret before one of them insists that it’s getting far too late for me to be going back home alone and now i simply must spend the night…..

in case the implied ending wasn’t clear enough: and then i get railed.