Katsumi Star

Let me talk to you about something I learned recently. People with a mental health condition like anxiety disorder or OCD are not truly afraid of what they think. For example, a person afraid of heights or the dark or germs is not truly afraid of those things. On the outside, fear manifests every time they are exposed to that trigger but in reality, they are afraid of something else, a core fear, buried deep inside.

That's exactly what's going on with Twilight. Let's dig deeper and find out his core fear.

These last chapters, Twilight has been completely out of control. Obviously, being surrounded by SSS agents was a huge trigger for him, BUT I think the possibility of Yor telling Captain Curtis about their previous interrogation was even a bigger trigger. Why? Because that would make a member of the SSS suspicious of everyone close to Yor, which in turn opens the possibility of losing his family. That was the real trigger.

If you read chapter 134, Twilight was actually holding up well under the circumstances. Although the SSS was interrogating him, he remained composed. However, the moment he remembered he had disguised himself as Yuri’s captain to interrogate Yor, he completely lost his nerve. Just look at his face—the man was utterly terrified.

After that, he totally lost it and began to act recklessly. We see Twilight ruminate in a constant state of panic and come up with countless scenarios as well as crazy ideas that would put him at risk such as:

Using force to keep Yor away from Captain Curtis. In Twilight's mind, that Captain is more dangerous than the Director of the SSS.

2. Drugging his wife with a tranquilizer gun IN FRONT OF COUNTLESS SSS AGENTS! Seriously? What was he thinking? If it was any other person and under any other circumstances he would know that was too risky.

3. Starting a fire. No comment on that.

Do you see what I mean? He was not only risking the mission, he was risking his life. That's exactly what triggers do; they make people act recklessly; all to avoid getting into the situation that they fear the most, which brings us back to...

Twilight's Core Fear

Do you want to guess? Let's analyze some of Twilight's fears:

Being caught by the SSS. Nope, it's not being caught by the SSS, nor being killed in action. He had risked his life plenty of times and he knows that could happen to him. It's part of his job.

People discovering his identity. That's not it either. If he gets discovered, he knows he can run away.

War between East and West. Warmer, but that's not it. This, however, is what Twilight tells himself. He thinks this is his biggest fear, but it's deeper than that. We're getting close.

I'll give you a clue:

This was the worst moment of his life. A traumatic event so big he can't even remember it. It was a moment of total despair, vulnerability, and most of all, fear.

When Twilight says he became a spy so no child has to cry, he is sincere about that. However, what he really means is tied up to his core fear: Twilight is afraid of losing everything and finding himself in a situation of total despair, vulnerability, and fear again.

So yes, he'll do everything and risk anything to avoid going back to that. He thinks that if he prevents a conflict between Westalis and Ostania, this will never happen to him again.

And, if we add something to the mix, we can get something even more specific:

If we combine that deep fear with his upbringing, it's easier to see why he has that need for control.

What does his core fear has to do with Yor?

She's the antidote. Their relationship is part of his healing. Yor represents safety and that's exactly what a person like Twilight needs. When you see it like that, it makes total sense that he would risk everything to keep his only safety.

Look at him being vulnerable. He can only do this with Yor:

Do you see it? Yor is the only person he trusts 🥹

And I think he's starting to realize that too:

This small panel is very telling! He KNOWS he's relying on her. And he WANTS to rely on her. And probably he feels ashamed of that need because for many years he has relied on no one but himself.

In Twilight's case, abandonment. He fears losing his family, to be abandoned again.

If you've heard the saying: "Fear: False. Evidence. Appearing. Real."

You know it's true for Twilight! Fear can make you think "stupid" and suddenly he was thinking crazy stuff and twisting the evidence he saw, taking it as real.

His other core fear, is vulnerability. I'd like to add one more thing to Whateverawesome's super analysis.

He says in his heart "NEVER AGAIN. Never again will I let myself be somewhere I was so abandoned and alone."

Fear creates bondage.

Until he met Yor and Anya, the fear of abandonment and vulnerability kept him in the bondage of being isolated and alone. He rejected becoming known, lest he lose loved ones again.

Love sets you free from fear.

The Desmond family catified.

(Sphinx, Scottish Fold and kits are a mix)

Thank you, and you're not half wrong. He looks like an alien T.T

Except now they’re peasant farmers. And everybody still has their secret identities, except they’re undercover sheep farmers.

Obviously Anya is adopted. We all know this. She knows this. She loves her family but knows it is incredibly fragile.

But unlike most adoption stories (say Natsume Yuujinchou) Anya is not adopted into a loving functional family who's main goal is to support and love her until she heals from all the hurt she has been through.

Because Everyone in their family is adopted.

Yor enters thinking she is entering an existing family dynamic of a man and his daughter. She is the step mother, eagerly wanted but a definite outsider. She does not know about how they lost Loid's first wife. They both Never mention her but Anya clearly has Huge feelings about her Mommy that she cannot touch. Because Loid refuses to acknowledge her. Which means she's not allowed to.

She's a wife brought in to solve a problem. The fact she adores Anya and loves Loid (eventually) doesn't make her any less of an outsider from her perspective. To Yor she's the adopted family member.

Meanwhile Loid, the one who brought them all together almost instantly finds himself on the outside of the family. He works too much and doesn't make it home for dinner frequently. He struggles to connect with his 'daughter' and wife. Can't understand either of them despite constant efforts. Something incredibly distressing for him.

Yor instantly connects with this child when he struggled to hold her hand in public. In his eyes Yor and Anya are a family and he is the outsider only there for the mission. The man who is destined to Not be there. He too often fills the role of the outside child brought into a happy family. One he constantly feels he is fumbling or failing. (If I'm not good, if i'm not perfect- my family will leave me. So I have to be. I have to figure out how to be better)

They are a family of adopted members all holding so tightly to each other. Each one of them chooses the others over and over again. Struggles against their own limitations and fears to be a part of a family they're all terrified to really call their own.

But it is that choice that makes them a family. Not blood or marriage or any certificate. That they all keep trying to be a family to the others. I'll be a good girl and study hard Papa. I'll be a good wife, I'll play my role well so don't abandon me. I'll be a good father and husband, I will try to be a good husband and father if you both will just stay with me. Please. I will figure out how.

Part 1 of 3.

*I'm pretending this is art practise but really I just wanna draw my blorbos.

Chapter 135 thoughts, MICE and Twilight

Alt title: Overthinking a fictional character on my day off while sleep deprived and stressed. (MANGA SPOILERS)

“A double life is not an easy life as evidenced by the number of agents who burn out, break down, or simply decide they cannot continue, particularly in high risk environments.”

I’ve been thinking a lot about the latest chapter. I think my first initial thought was frustration (at Twilight). To be clear, I really enjoyed the chapter and I found the overall situation to be endlessly fun. I forget sometimes that Spy X is a comedy, that so happens to be based loosely off of the Cold War. And as someone who does not generally enjoy comedies it’s easy for me to fall into the trap of expecting a dark, serious thriller with this fiction. (Hence the creation of Scission). So this morning I was thinking, “I should probably not take the comedy too seriously. “ But. As an over thinker I can’t help myself...

A Twilight POV Spy x Family Meta Analysis

There are very few people in Twilight’s life he’s ever truly admired. Admiration requires attachment, and attachment is dangerous for a spy. Even among his fellow WISE agents, the strongest feeling he allows himself is professional respect. Before Operation Strix, the only people who ever inspired genuine admiration in him were his childhood friends and his mother. The moment Yor enters his life, Twilight finds himself facing the dangerous pull of admiration, along with a cherished sense of closeness he hasn’t felt since childhood.

And eventually, that admiration blossoms into genuine affection.

Yor unnerves him from the very beginning. Her intuition cuts dangerously close to the truth, leaving him both fascinated and wary. For the first time in years, Twilight briefly wonders whether he has found an equal. His response is immediate and impulsive: he tells her - plainly - that he finds her beautiful.

Before Twilight can settle on a course of action, Yor beats him to it, taking control of the situation and catching him completely off guard. It marks the beginning of her profound influence over him, as her ‘dangerous’ intuition consistently nudges him toward growth.

What begins as a mission quietly becomes Twilight’s path toward becoming a better version of himself.

Twilight’s first outing as Yor’s fake boyfriend goes catastrophically off-script when his mission and real identity violently collide.

Completely destabilized, he watches Yor believe every increasingly outrageous excuse he invents and can’t decide whether she’s terrifyingly perceptive or hopelessly naive😂

Yor’s swift incapacitation of the ‘patient’ marks the first moment Twilight experiences genuine admiration toward her. The impact is immediate and profound, culminating in something the series almost never allows him: authentic, uninhibited laughter.

Even more telling is his reaction to Yor’s hastily constructed excuse—he accepts it outright, bypassing the suspicion and scrutiny that define him as a spy.

Yor once again seizes the initiative, proposing outright before Twilight can fully assess the situation. The man is so shocked he faceplants.😂Then, in classic Yor fashion, she reels him in completely, and he agrees almost instantly.

The exchange that follows is genuinely one of the best vow scenes ever written.

For Twilight, Yor opens access to a life he once believed impossible: the hope of an ordinary life and meaningful companionship. Although he continues to frame everything as part of the mission, her impact on him is unmistakably genuine.

For someone as deeply conditioned as Twilight, voluntarily drawing attention to himself runs counter to everything he believes about survival and espionage. Nevertheless, Yor’s influence repeatedly pushes him beyond those boundaries. She even influences him to accept heartfelt praise with genuine humility—and the look of admiration he gives her afterward is so warm and obvious that Anya gleefully notices before he can hide it!

Yor demonstrates unusual strength and physical prowess in front of Twilight throughout the series. Each time, she offers up excuse after excuse - and Twilight keeps believing her without suspicion, time after time.

Aside from embellishing the existence of a deceased wife, Twilight’s account before the interview panel is rooted in truth. Yor, too, answers with sincere honesty.

But when Swan humiliates Yor and Anya, Twilight’s composure collapses under a wave of genuine fury. His reaction is instinctive, emotional, deeply personal—and afterward, the realization unsettles him enough to question his own suitability for espionage.

Twilight knows that he's only supposed to rely on himself and prepare for the worst but throughout the series - again and again - he finds himself rationalizing the benefit of feeling the emotions that he so desperately craves: hope, happiness, and a life with people he genuinely cares for.

What frightens Twilight most is not the danger surrounding the mission, but the realization that Yor and Anya have become irreplaceable to him. Somewhere along the way, the fabricated family ceased to be fiction. Unlike previous relationships, which remained emotionally detached and transactional, this bond is genuine and reciprocated. He now recognizes that he cares deeply about their emotional well-being and stability.

Through Yor’s influence, he is finally forced to confront the impossible question at the heart of his transformation: if forced to choose, would he sacrifice the relationship (himself) for the mission—or the mission for his family? Only time will tell.

And wtf?? I guess it's nowhere explicitely stated that every building there belongs to Eden academy, but it's called huge and considering it has several dormitories and halls, at least two cafeterias, its own garden and its own farm, I think it's safe to assume that all the buildings in this panel belong to Eden.

Including the one on the hill with the dome.

Meaning in Sxf universe, the FUCKING REICHSTAG IS A PART OF EDEN.

You can't tell me this isn't the exact same building…

In the anime you can even see that even the glass dome is the same.

Which I find especially interesting for several reasons.

For one, the modern glass dome of the real life Reichstag building wasn't built until the 1990s while sxf takes place in the 50s or 60s.

As you can see, the original dome looked quite different from the modern dome.

Plus all the historical implications.

The Reichstag building (commonly referred to simply as Reichstag) was build during the imperial era, back in the 19th century. As we learn in Ch115 there has been an imperial era in sxf verse as well, so I'm just going to assume that sxf Reichstag was build during that time, too.

The real life Reichstag was the place where the German parliament met. Obviously that can't be the case in sxf universe where it's part of a school. Which makes me wonder where that would be in sxf universe (plus a lot of questions about the political system in general).

The dome though… in real life Germany the original dome burnt in 1933 (arson, still not clear who did it but the nazis accused communists and used it as an excuse to suspend fundamental rights). The remains were further demolished during the war and then dismantled in the 1950s.

And like… if it's no political building, I don't see why sxf Reichstag building should fall victim to arson? Could be normal wartime destruction tho, maybe it was damaged by a bomb. Maybe if we learn some more about Ostanian history in the future, I can make more specific guesses.

If it's just a normal school building though and its destruction was just "normal" war damage, it would make sense they reconstructed the dome so quickly instead of waiting til the 90s. After all, it has none of the political implications of the real life Reichstag—being a symbol of a pre-democratic form of government, then a weak democracy and the nazi-regime. However in this case, I wonder why they settled for this design of the dome. When they decided to rebuild the dome in a modern style, that was a conscious decision to make a clear break with the past—why would Eden Academy do that? As I said, the political implications of real life Reichstag aren't there and Eden seems to value its history.

Anyway, many questions, few answers.

Or maybe I'm reading to much into it when reflecting so much on its history and architecture and Endo-sensei just wanted to use a famous Berlin landmark without including all of its history…

Alright so if you're active on AO3, you've probably heard about the bot problem. It's been going on for years but it's gotten way worse lately, so here's a breakdown of what's happening and how to protect yourself.

What Are AO3 Bots?

Basically spam accounts that leave comments on fics. They're automated and they've been plaguing the site since like 2021, but they keep getting more sophisticated.

Types of Bots You Might See:

Praise Bots - These leave super generic compliments that could apply to literally any fic. Stuff like "This is pure genius, I'm in awe of your world-building" or "This deserves all recognition." The dead giveaway is when someone praises your "heartwarming" fic when everyone literally died and the earth shattered around them lmao.

Hateful/Cruel Bots - These are the really fucked up ones. They scrape REAL AO3 usernames and attach them to horrible, cruel comments. So innocent people get their names attached to hateful shit they never said. If you see a mean comment, check if the username is clickable - if it's not linked to an actual profile, it's a bot.

Kudos Bots - Some authors have woken up to like 30-60 fake kudos dumped on their fics all at once, with no corresponding increase in hit counts. This completely destroys the metric system especially in smaller fandoms.

AI Accusation Bots - These accuse authors of using ChatGPT or other AI tools, sometimes on fics that are literally older than the AI programs they're being accused of using. Some link to "AI detection tools" which are likely just trying to get you to feed more fics into AI training databases.

Misinformation Bots - A newer type that showed up in May 2025 claiming AO3 was removing works to "conserve server space" and telling authors to delete their own work or risk being banned. Complete bullshit - AO3 has never done this and never will.

Mary Sue Bots - Accuse your OCs of being Mary Sues, even when your fic only has canon characters and no self-inserts at all.

Art Commission Scam Bots - Leave praise then offer to make comic/art commissions of your fic. They get you off-site to Discord or Instagram, take your payment, then either send AI-generated garbage or ghost you completely.

How Do They Work?

The bots comment as unregistered guests and scrape real AO3 usernames to attach to their comments. The username shows up but isn't clickable and has no actual profile associated with it (unless you search for that name directly, which makes it look legit at first).

The newer ones are getting smarter too - they scrape your fic's tags and use them to make the generic praise seem more personalized. So if you tagged "angst" they'll specifically mention emotions and tension.

How To Spot Them:

Username isn't clickable/has no profile

Generic praise that could apply to any fic

Comments that make zero sense for what actually happened in your story

Multiple comments hitting your fics really fast (like 7 comments timestamped over 9 hours)

Sudden spike in kudos with no matching increase in hits

Anyone trying to get you off-site for commissions or services

The Emotional Impact:

This shit genuinely hurts authors. Some don't realize they're bots at first and think the hate comments or AI accusations are real criticism of their writing. There's also concerns from neurodivergent and ESL authors who worry their real comments will be mistaken for bots because their writing style might seem stilted.

And if your username gets stolen? You might have to track down authors and explain that hateful comment wasn't actually you.

What You Can Do:

As an author:

Delete bot comments as soon as you spot them

If it gets bad, lock your comments to registered users only (Settings → Privacy → "Only show your work to registered users")

Report the comments if you can

As a reader/commenter:

Don't panic if your username got stolen - reach out to the author and explain it wasn't you

Keep leaving real comments! Authors need to know there are real people who love their work

Maybe make your comments a bit more specific/personal so authors know you're real

Everyone:

Spread awareness so people know what to look for

Don't feed fics into "AI detection tools" that bots link to

Why Are They Doing This?

Honestly? Probably to keep AI brands in the "fandom news" cycle and create controversy. Some are straight-up scams. Either way, they suck.

Stay safe out there and keep supporting your favorite authors with real comments. We need that genuine engagement now more than ever. 💜