Eternity In A Wooden Case

People always ask what a story is "about" like there's one answer. but a story is about whatever the reader needed it to be about the day they read it. you write a story about a woman leaving a house and one person reads it as a story about freedom and another reads it as a story about loss and another reads it as a story about their mother and none of them are wrong and you didn't write any of those stories on purpose. the story knows things the writer doesn't. that's not mystical. that's just how meaning works.

The eye doctor is the most fun doctor you can go to. They never steal your blood. They never make you get naked and put on a paper dress. They're just like, "Can you see these letters? It's fine if you can't, we can fix that." And they don't even spell anything.

If anyone reading this isn’t fluent enough in English to understand the sentences that man says, please know that he has essentially mixed a number of adjectives and topics together in a hat and is pulling them out at random like a horrible children’s game

Like that waxy jaundiced bitch will straight up be like “J'étais sur internet l'autre jour – internet, la plus grande invention américaine. Et la Chine a “internet aussi. Pas un bon internet, pas comme le mien, j'ai un internet formidable. Les gens me disent : « Donald, ton internet est génial ! » On adore l'internet de Donald. Mais la Chine… Chine, Chine, Chine… Vous savez qu'ils mangent des oiseaux ? C'est terrible. J'adore les oiseaux. La Chine mange des oiseaux. Pas comme nous. Pas comme mes oiseaux. Mais vous savez, c'est comme ça, et c'est terrible. Mais voilà ce que je vais faire : je vais sauver les oiseaux. Je vais sauver internet et sauver les oiseaux. Tous ces magnifiques oiseaux. Pour l'Amérique. Et la Chine va nous détester pour ça. Ils vont nous détester parce qu'on est les meilleurs sur oiseaux”. And people will lose their minds

oh my god

There was a scandal in Poland because one translator decided to translate him accurately, tone, vocabulary level and word salad tangents and all. Polish conservatives who don't speak English and previously only heard smoothed out translations that sounded coherent and used big words were up in arms about how the translator was "inserting her political agenda", "mocking him", "exaggerating", "purposefully trying to make him look bad" and "incredibly unprofessional". I listened to the translation in question. It was literally just accurate.

Americans that speak other languages should start translating trump on some sort of speech/tweet index. The People Need To Know. I expect it would nerf any warm feelings anyone has ever had for him in other countries.

my aunt made all the reservations for this vacation so i was fully unprepared to walk into our current rental and discover doors everywhere. it was like that kath & kim bit except instead of gayness it was doors. the coffee table is a door. the bed headboards are doors. the doors? extremely elaborate carved wooden doors

certified door post

obviously it is i made it

does anyone have the one image of that twink failing to pick up a jug of milk

thank you

So I’m moving into a new apartment, and I was told that the room had been damaged, but nothing could have prepared me for the fact that someone had carved Li Shang’s head out of the bathroom door and written “We must defeat the Huns!” on it.

Damn way to read the assignment and go above and beyond.

the bleakness and sanitized feel of most American protestant churches really is an underused medium.