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Wendy! Arent you suppose to be working on your fic-
I got distracted. TADC spoiler below! I had to draw the stupid fucking rabbit alright
I am gaining a basic understanding of shapes and colors. Its like. Paper cut outs. Im still learning but like!!! Im figured out shadows and lights and such. So we are learning!!!!
PART TWO OF EXISTENCE IS FUTILE IS NEARLY FINISHED!!!! I GOTTA CLEAN UP SOME AREAS AND THEN IMMA START THE SMUT.
this is my first actual smut pls be kind to me.
I lost the original document somehow hwile cleaning out my computer. idk how sue me. so it was totally rewritten. debating on if its better or worse. might be 50/50
gonnA LOOSE MY MINDDDD
i decided fuck it, screw pacing just do smut so I can get the part 2 chpt out. but im sitting here and i REALLLY do not like it so I sadly do in fact have to write the additional like. 3 thousand or so words.
I need my life to not be busy and my job to fuck off for the next 72 hours so I can do nothing but write but alas that is not going to happen is it.
may the lord have mercy on my soul and may this slow burn lead to sex be juicy. apologies for the wait.
Edit: heres a snippet that may or may not be rewritten considering my track record. please take it as an offering.
do you plan on making a tag list for the dottore x spy reader fic thingy? because if you ever want to do a spin-off, a second, or third, or fourth, or fifth+ part, or like... absolutely anything, I'd love to get tagged in any work related to it since I love it so much I plan on getting it printed on paper to keep it in my book collection
wait I sound weird ... don't mind that alright !!
Hi hi!!!!!!
I currently have a part 2 in the works!! I will gladly tag you in it once its out!
Im literally so honored you like it?? and the fact your gonna print it out??? omfg??? Im honored??? like so honored?? the fuck????
Im going to print this ask out and put it in my wallet and look at it longingly like a dying solider looks at their lover during war.
Like actual tears in my eyes tysm <3333 The fact someone wants to putt my human made slop into their private collection is gonna make me sob???
I shall ensure the part 2 is even better than the first !!! tysm again!!! making out with you platonically.
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PART TWO OF EXISTENCE IS FUTILE IS NEARLY FINISHED!!!! I GOTTA CLEAN UP SOME AREAS AND THEN IMMA START THE SMUT.
this is my first actual smut pls be kind to me.
I lost the original document somehow hwile cleaning out my computer. idk how sue me. so it was totally rewritten. debating on if its better or worse. might be 50/50
Quick Summary: You were great at being unnoticed. Benefits of having a giant filter obscuring you 24/7. Hired by the Tsaritsa to Spy on Dottore in his meetings, things were suppose to be easy, until, of course, he makes eye contact with you. Dottore POV.
3.5k+ Words of him pining. Your welcome.
A/N: Not what I originally had planned, but you know what, we will take it. I like it well enough, and nothings ever perfect yk.
I was gonna write even MORE on this, have him make research papers, and logs on ya after each meeting, etc, but literally as I was typing and MORE ideas keep coming into my head, i was like.. oh we are just gonna do the OG verision, otherwise this will never get posted. Maybe I will come back to this fic and update it / rewrite it, but for now we shall settle. if any additional tags are needed, let me know.
Ty Rose and Angel for beta-ing!
WARNINGS: Not Explicit, but still NSFW. Could be read as Yandere Dottore. Probably OOC but we do our best.
Not AI Generated In Any Shape Or Form. I would rather put my wiener in a paper shredder than use ShitGPT or whatever tf the cog suckers are using these days.
I do not condone inserting any of my fics into any AI/Learning Model/Similar/Etc. If you are interested in more / spin offs / etc, please just send an ask!!! it makes me happy to see them.
I do not own these characters, all properties belong to their respective owners.
You were an utter enigma. A truly questionable figment of this world, which "The Doctor" did not truly understand, an almost infuriating fact that plagued him whenever he happened to come across you.
For a man who desires knowledge nearly more than anything, it would make sense that each version of him, each segment of him, each identity and personality frozen in time, would all be enamored with you in one way, or another.
At the moment though, you were Segment 35', Omega, Il Dottore’'s secret, though it wasn't hard to keep.
You.
You, the most curious, exciting, and tempting thing in his life at the moment.
You didn't exist in a way that you should. Your presence flickered from barely there, silent and unnoticeable, to suddenly overwhelming and demanding of attention whenever words did leave your mouth.
It was as if Teyvat simply decided you were not there, that you didn’t exist. That Irminsul had perhaps rewrote itself to block you out.
A glitched filter that forced anyone to unconsciously look away from wherever you were.
It was tug-of-war, and during pointless meetings, it was Dottore’s favorite game. His favorite experiment. A guessing game that broke up the monotony of whatever topic his colleagues found "important".
Il Dottore had to focus to even look in your direction, let alone at you. The same type of focus that was required when he would have to keep working on one of his more dangerous experiments. The kind of experiment that threatened to blow up in his face, if he shifted a little too much or breathed a little too loudly.
Eyes squinting, almost burning, it wasn't generally a pleasant feeling, but it did mean he was correct when it came to your position in the room.
"Insistence to look directly at them causes discomfort, rather than looking at their proximity and slowly easing into their exact location." He mentally reminded himself to add this to the ever growing documents stamped with your name on it, tucked away, where none of his annoying segments could find it. At least for now– those nosy bastards always had a way to dig into his things.
He knew you were standing in that corner; finally; it had taken a few minutes to figure out if you were even at this meeting, let alone where you stood at it. And as he ignored whatever the current rambling Fatui Agent proposed (it would surely be shut down, as soon as he shut up) he could finally see the censor around you break away and finally partake in the sight of you.
He couldn't help but smile wildly when you both made eye contact, waving off an oblivious agent's question on what he found so humorous, instead focusing entirely on his current analysis of you.
Il Dottore reveled in your uncomfortable, slightly shocked expression whenever he could finally see you, each time more enticing than the last.
Was he the only one who managed to see you without you announcing yourself first? He continued to smile as you shifted on your feet, looking everywhere but him, as he looked nowhere but at you.
You were not used to being seen. And, Archons, he wished to see you. He wanted, no, needed, to poke and prod and see what made you tick. What causes Teyvat to insist you were not real, to impose its will so harshly that it was frightening whenever you spoke.
You were a special experiment assigned just to him, he decided, after the third time of finally breaking that filter and locking eyes with you.
Was it just his gaze that made you nervous and giddy? Or would you react the same if someone else managed to look through the cloud that obscures you. He unconsciously hoped not.
He wondered if having some of his segments look at you consecutively would make you more nervous, make you squirm even more. That would be an experiment worth his time, laughing under his breath as his thoughts went places not appropriate for a business meeting.
He wanted to dissect you slowly and completely.
He wasn't like this generally, finding a form of entertainment or, dare he even think it, desire, for a person; but he approached you similarly to information he had never considered before. Il Dottore had a newfound excitement for something, and that something was you. And how couldn't he be, he hadn't seen anything at all like you!
When he finally got past the ignoring glitch that obscured you, when the way you looked was something he had to work for, to experiment on, to research, and to fail, and fail, and fail again, and then to finally succeed. Someone's appearance was always something easily given, but he had to work for yours, and that was addicting to him.
Being gifted to whatever outfit you were wearing, or how your hair was parted, ah, it was a gift that he wanted more of, a gift he wanted to consume, create, and destroy simultaneously.
Were you teasing him? Were you making him painfully aware of the rise and fall of your chest when you breathed? What of the occasional staggers of his own breath? Were you making him linger on your lips and the way they part slightly or whenever someone was talking idiotically.
Were you making him feel warmer, fuzzier, on purpose? Keeping his attention on whatever else his colleagues were talking about, near impossible? Did you know you were affecting him so?
Making him excited in a perverted way he hadn't felt so deeply in years.
Was that a quality uniquely yours? Or was it the effects of finally seeing through the staggering "IGNORE ENTITY" code of command that had been imposed onto you, this all being an odd side effect, that happened to make him feel restricted in his layers of clothing.
The meetings were usually dull and boring. By the second meeting of him being able to spot you consistently, you no longer were super awkward being watched by him, though you did continue to be quite uncomfortable at him being the only one to see and acknowledge you. The Doctor's favorite moments during these dull meetings was when someone says something utterly stupid, idiotic, or down right uninformed.
Of course, it was quite entertaining when you, unused to being seen, make a face of utter confusion. A face that really could only scream “is this guy being for real right now?” or eyebrow furrow that communicates perfectly of “oh, this guy IS an idiot.” And of course, Il Dottore would laugh, half condescending at the bastard talking, and the other half at your facial expressions.
He wanted to see more of them. What other faces could you make? He had several different ideas on what he could do to entice them out of you. If only he didn’t lose track of you so quickly as soon as the meetings ended.
It made sense that the Never Ending Frost, The Tsaritsa, snatched you up into The Fatui's arms. You were perfect for many covert operations.
(How she did manage to even snatch you up was a question to him though. How did she manage to find you, when even looking at you took him this long?)Information gathering was a breeze for you. You did not even have to be sneaky, you could simply walk into a private business meeting, carefully entering the same time as the targets did, (no need to frighten folks with a door opening by itself after all), sometimes sitting on a chair right next to those you eavesdropped on.
And they would be none the wiser, spilling secrets that one would certainly not dislodge if one suspected they were aware another party was there.. Perhaps that's why you attended these meetings. You weren't on the registered list of attendees, so perhaps Her Lady The Tsaritsa insisted you show, to spy, to listen. To Observe. It made sense to him, with the files he found with your name. You were in her information gathering operations.
It may be time for a different operative to do so though, as Il Dottore was incredibly aware of you in a way no one else was though, even with your existence being diminished.
It was around the 4th meeting since he had grown consistent in locating you, that you were no longer squirming under his gaze, but instead ignoring him.
He enjoyed the regular game of these meetings, finding you, seeing you, making you uncomfortable with his staring, a piercing gaze that made you feel naked.
And now it was you that ignored him? You were denying him the pleasure of making you uncomfortable simply by looking at you?
He did not enjoy such a swap in dynamics.
(to think, he used to make the segments and himself draw sticks on who had the displeasure of attending said meetings. He regrets not attending them all now. How many meetings has he missed where you were there? How many times has he missed getting to undress you with his eyes?)
Yet another meeting came, albeit it did not come soon enough, and this time he was much quicker to find you. He would normally ensure that these meetings were just routine, and not actually important, though this time he skipped over that, and went right to locating you.
You were no longer returning his gaze at all, uncomfortable, shocked and squirming. Now ignoring and focusing on whatever the lesser agents talked about, stupid experiments that he could simply pass off to someone else if they did seem worth his time. It was like you no longer cared at all that he saw you, when no one else could.
Before, you made sure everyone had concluded their topics of conversation before leaving silently. Now, you left as soon as someone else opened the door.
He was giddy for the next meeting to begin as soon as the current one ended, loosing track of you as soon as the briefing was over, much to his dismay as always.
You were no longer paying attention to him the same way he payed attention to you. You were no longer bothered, it seemed, by his gaze.
The expected results of his usual game/experiment had changed, and he intended to find out why.
Il Dottore hadn't even sat in his usual spot, the usual meeting and debrief hadn't even begun, hands popped up supporting his chin, before he began scanning.
Though he wore his mask, as usual, everyone could tell he was in a less than pleasant mood. Anyone who happened to be in his line of sight could feel the glare and annoyance radiating off him.
The past few meetings had been so uneventful, a pleasant surprise when having to be in the same room as The Harbinger.. But now? Any poor soul who had finally grown somewhat comfortable talking about mora allocation, experiment proposals, summaries of recent expenditures, quickly regretted that feeling.
Il Dottore frowned, after his first check of the room did not yield your presence.
No one stood in the first corner of the room, same for the other 3, the northern wall has a window with nothing noticeable outside of it, blinded by the endless snow storm, no one remarkable stood aside the meeting table, someone new was entering the meeting room, not quite late, but not quite on time, through the large door, you walked out just as the new person walked in.
No one interesting or of particular note was actually at the meeting table where Il Dottore sat.
You were usually in one of the corners of the meeting room, where you could easily see everyone. He checked those spots again, but his mind did not ignore any details when he directed his attention to them, so yes, you were not in your usual corner.
Had he not gotten better at recognizing when his brain was being forced to jump over you? The fact he didn't figure out your position immediately made him reposition himself in his chair. He was frustrated. He thought he had gotten good at this. Were you not here?
He ran through his mental checklist again. He hadn't realized he had grown so annoyed at you ignoring him during the last few meetings.
The first corner of the room had no one, except a pedestal and vase of recently fresh flowers a maid must have put out recently. The same story in the other 3 corners of the room. More flowers on decorative pedestals and vases.
Did you like flowers? Do you take the time to smell them? What would your face look like if one was particularly sweet? What about a scent that was especially foul, would you grimace, get mad at him for that? He had never given you anything before, aside from an unwavering gaze that sent shivers down your spine, he was certain of that. Aside from flowers and their smell. He wondered what you smelt like. He hasn’t been able to get close at all to you yet. Did you wear perfume? Or maybe you didn’t care for those kind of things. Flowers were incredibly delicate entities. Did you feel as delicate as flowers did under his hands? You were a spy though, perhaps you were quite the opposite then- though that would be quite a contrast to when he first made eye contact you, squirming under your skin at a man who could see you when no one else could
He quickly shook his head, back to the task at hand, though he did place these racing thoughts on the back burner for something he has to research about you.
He needed to focus. Where were you?
Why wasn't he locating you as easily as before? The thought of you not being here grew louder in his head.
The northern wall continues to have the blinding white snow outside of it. He could follow along the windowsill easily, checking his eyes did not jump over anything, so he concluded once again you were not standing alongside that wall. He almost let his thoughts distract him again as he found himself drifting to the idea of what you would look like pressed up against the windowsill- would you shiver do to the cold outside of the window, or, more enjoyably, would it be because he would be the one to press you against it-
He stood up abruptly, chair groaning loudly as he did so. The Fatui Agent talking endless about something he simply did not care for, squeaked out a surprised “Lord Harbinger- is everything alright?”
He didn’t even tell the agent to silence themselves as he stormed out the meeting room. These were a waste of his time. They always were, but you being there made them worth it!
And now that you had decided to ignore him the past 4 meetings, to now not showing up at all? This was insulting. He was Il Dottore. A Harbinger of the Tsaritsa. The second, at that! Yes, he had technically never even talked to you, but to hell with regular pleasantries! Were the glances and gazes eye contact not enough for you?
You went from nervous and uncomfortable to him simply looking at you, to ignoring him oh so defiantly, to not even showing up?
Yes, you technically weren’t on the required list of attendees. You were an eavesdropping spy, sent by the Tsaritsa (it makes sense she couldn’t trust her own Harbingers, they were an odd bunch) a pointless one at that, nothing of note was ever at these meetings. But The Doctor had grown fond of the game of I-spy and so forth. You were his latest research! His latest experiment! And you simply decide to not show up? (atleast, he was pretty certain. You were, you know, difficult to spot.)
He stormed mindlessly down the hallways, passing doors that each lead to different meeting rooms. He wasn't infuriated.. He wouldn’t say he was enraged, but he was incredibly upset.
It wasn’t the type of emotions he felt when a long winded project ended in failure. Or the type of anger he felt when one of his Segments annoyed him to no end on whatever project they were working on or wanted to insert themselves into. Was he.. disappointed? Maybe that was the feeling he was struggling to pinpoint. He shook his head. No, it wasn’t disappointment. He couldn’t pin it at all.
He was looking forward to seeing you! Shouldn’t you be excited that he can see you? The world, Heavenly Principles, Irminsul, whatever, decided you did not deserve to exist and simply put a giant censor over your being. Would that not be a curse? Would that not be horrible to be utterly alone with only yourself? And then, for someone as great as The Doctor to notice you, and want your attention? Wouldn’t that be a blessing? Hasn’t he been ever so courteous to give you his gaze and longing?
He was arguing with himself as he began his march back to his regular laboratory.
He only had himself. And himself, and himself, and himself, albeit all at different ages. He had no idea of anything about you, except the fact you were utterly fascinating and he needed to get his hands on you, literally and figuratively.
He went back to his lab quicker than usual. His segments were out and about doing their own things, and to be honest, he didn’t care at all to seek one out and belittle one as an outlet for his anger at your no-show.
He felt himself slouch as soon as he entered his private office. He hated nothing more than wasting his time, and today and this meeting had been nothing but that so far.
It only took him a second to re-straighten his posture, when his brain quickly processed his office door, which was usually locked, had not been when he entered. He stopped, rubbing his brows underneath his mask, before he did the same process he had gotten very accustomed to whenever he searched for where you stood during meetings.
His back to the door, he ensured he locked it, his back never turning from the office as he scanned it down.
His office did not have any windows in it. Some might consider that inhumane, though he considered it secure. Only one exit, only one entrance. If anyone wanted in, they would come through the door, and if anyone wanted out, they would have to go through the same doors.
With the sneaking suspicion that someone might be in his office at the moment, and a bubbling hope that that someone might be you, if there was someone still in here, well, they were very much trapped with a less than cheery harbinger. A harbinger who had just ensured that the only exit was much, much more difficult to access.
Il Dottore scanned his office quickly. Calculated and near quiet steps as he very slowly circled the room. It was as if he was a vulture waiting for an animal to finally die. He listened for footsteps. For breathing.
The bookshelf had all its items in the same place as he had left it, a scattered mess still on his desk, the chair in the corner with a classic snezhnayhan coat still jumbled up and tossed onto it half heartedly.
Yes, everything did still seem to be in place. Random experiment results and summaries still scattered about, some on his desk, others the floor surrounding it. The small pouch of mora he had allocated for his youngest segments trivial experiments still on the corner of the desk.
Not a thief, at least not one after mora. (If there was a thief, would it not make more sense to rob Regrator, then?)
Someone after classified information then, perhaps? He was beginning to work on his delusion project, though the papers with the relevant information still were in the center of the desk as he had left it earlier.
He circled the room twice more, disappointed when he found that his eyes did not try to skip over anything. And yes, nothing seemed out of place either. No sight of you (par for the course) and no sight of a thief.
Perhaps he had simply forgotten to lock his door in his rush to (try) to see you at the redundant meeting.
He double checked his door was still locked, which it was, before he let himself groan loudly. What a headache. He let himself relax a little, slipping off his mask and tossing it half haphazardly on top of the several books and meaningless reports (sans the delusion one, that was his second favorite experiment at the moment) and quickly fell back into his cushioned chair.
He focused on relieving the tension between his brows. He sat there for a few minutes, focusing on his breathing and the stupid thoughts of you resounding in his head.
He needed to find a reason to get you at his side. Perhaps he could pose something interesting in one of his meetings, entice you to “spy” on him some more? Or maybe he could dig through your files again, see if he could find a reason to transfer you from the Tsaritsa Information Division over to him. Maybe he could say something about your odd case potentially be duplicatable for improved spy techniques for the fatuui?
He scooched his chair forward, getting closer to his desk so he could focus his attention into working on something, instead of pouting like a wet bird.
He adjusted in his seat, sitting up and reaching for the small drawer to the right of his desk. His eyes skipped over the kneehole for the desk, not even processing they did so automatically, as he opened the drawer that contained your files.
Well, it would have contained your files. He stared at the empty drawer for only a second, before he tried to look at the empty space under his desk. HIs eyes automatically looked away.
Oh.
He leaned back onto his chair, laughing loudly. He really couldn’t help, considering the situation. His hands covered his eyes, finally stilling his laughter after a few seconds. Peering through his fingers, he looked to the kneewell of his desk, his legs half under the table.
It took a second for his red eyes to focus, but he couldn’t help chuckling again as the cloud left his vision.
Under his desk, back pressed up as far as possible as to avoid touching his legs, clutching files with your name on it close to your chest, sat a wide eyed, red faced, you.
how we feeling about that.
First serious fic on my return. woot woot.
TY AGAIN TO MY LOVELY BETA READERS ROSE AND ANGEL!!!
EDIT: where tf did all of you come from. do I have to actually make a part 2? a smut? on My christian minecraft server? nah but fr tysm everyone it means a ton <3
EDIT x2: a part 2 and smut is in the works. prepare urselfs. I will link it here as well as on my masterlist once its done <3 its taking a little longer to write as at this rate, its gonna be double the length of this one. lord help me.
I needed a spot where I can put my brainworms so I dont lose them, so this is mostly for me lmao. Just put it on the pinned so I csn find it yk.
Here are the worms. No idea if ill let them turn into anything but atleast they will be here for now.
-Pantalone and Reader/Y/N getting passed around like a blunt by the Segments. (Im sure this is smth thats already out there. If it is, let me know so I can consume.)
-Y/N being a math wiz and getting hired/abducted to help with mora finances and stuff. Zandik stumped on randomly calculation. visists Pantalone, who hired Y/N. Cue us solving e=mc2 or whatever, and then cue the 2 harbingers fighting over Reader. (and lowkey tryna impress eachother)
-Neverness to Everness Baicang. enough said (...and skia?)
-fae reader who has been with zandik and pantalone for forever. Get stuff set up for his birthday after being gone for forever. But its sike. His 85th. Cue angst of you and pantalone walking in on yhr man being dissected. Geneuonely i cant recall on if i daydreamed this whole scenario where reader is like in charge of a magic flower garden in snezhnayha when this happened or if it was an actual fic.(i genuinely think this was a fic i hallucinated reading.) Cough cough
-reader does wellness checks on random folks, hurt and comfort vibes.
-diluc x reader. I need him
-BNHA. Arranged quirk marriage with Touya Todoroki. Obviously that doesnt happen. Cue whatever shenanigans and reader ends up in LOV.
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I decided to make some more simple static ones, since they are quick and easy.
All of these feature the "same style". Diamonds, flowers, and little sparkles. Ive provided a couple of random recolors of each one, all are monocolor..
Feel free to use, edit, recolor whatever ya like. :)
Ive been learning drawing and gif making.
Im really into making simple dividers and such rn, so I thought id share some of the things I made for my own blogspot.
Feel free to use! credits are appreciated but absolutely not required lol, I do not care : )
if you want me to do any recolors send an ask :)
(ITS ALL VERY AMATEUR IK IM A NOOB OKI)
Ive been trying to expand my skillsets with a lot of things. on top of drawing more instead of writing, I 1) got in a accident and nearly died 2) moved outta my grandparents house 3)became a manager of a local gas station!
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
I had a phase where I edited together different photos together as a vent sorta.
I deleted my other socials forever ago and it's just here and bluesky now. I thought I'd post these here cuz they aren't my original art and moreso just a photo bash.
Mike not getting into the scare program in Monsters University.
🌸Sorta a brainrot, not my usual content, the family was watching Monsters University and inspiration struck. Also sorry I've been ~busy~ 🌸
Listen weird thing to be mad about but bear with me here oki?
He spends all his time reading his textbooks, looking and examining other scarers, and tryning to be like them. To scare like them.
And when he tries to scare like that, it just. Doesn't work. It looks silly. Like he's trying to hard.
All those monsters, the reason they are scary is because they are accentuating the features they have.
And Mike simply doesn't have those. He's not big, with tons of sharp teeth, with giant hands and huge claws.
He is round, and small, twiggy limbs, with an enormous eye, which is mostly his entire being.
He sees all the ways to improve others scaring techniques because everyone at that point has only had ONE scaring technique.
Big, loud, and quick.
What Mike needed to do is just. Open the closet slowly. And slowly peak out, and put his most notable feature to work.
His eye.
He needs to make some noise opening the closet door, enough to wake the child. He needs to just barely peer out of the closet once the kid moves their attention away, and be visible.
Unmoving, unblinking, but very much staring.
How many times have you woken up and your brain makes you think the pile of clothes on the chair is like a demon about to snatch you?
Of course your not screaming off the bat, but my GOD do you feel spooked right?
Now imagine that with an giant fucking eye. And ofc it's not moving and you know what, it is probably just your imagination.
You turn to go to sleep..
And you hear a scuttle.
You quickly turn back to your closet where that thing, that eye was.
But it's not there. It's under your desk now.
It's still too dark to see clearly. You spend a few minutes even more creeped out, but at this point exhaustion is starting to hit and you can't help but start to nod off.
Fuck it, your insane, its not there. Nothing is ever there.
A few moments go by, you feel your heart rate slowing a bit.
A creak, a weight on your bed. You panick, turning back over to see what is happening.
And right in front of you is the huge eye you hoped was merely a side effect of sleep deprivation, right infront of you, and slowly it grins, drool dripping, weight on your chest, a single word rasping from its mouth.