So Iβm in a deeply red incredibly conservative state.Β I ran a pride month 5k awhile back. The usual group of 3 protestors with an incredibly loud bullhorn showed up to yell at us about how trans people are mutilating themselves and AIDS is Godβs judgement and weβre a menace to children etc. etc. etc. But they were vastly outnumbered by runners and volunteers. One of the first race announcements was that they hadnβt ordered enough T-shirts for the amount of people who ended up running, and would have to reorder, so anyone who wanted another race T-shirt should sign up now.
Weβre all used to the protestors by now, they show up everywhere. We just ignore them. Interacting with them just encourages them.
I hadnβt realized how early the race date was this year compared to previous years and hadnβt prepared as much, and there were a lot of hills; not to mention there was some confusion as to the race route which resulted in the announcer referring to it post-run as a β4-mile 5kβ (they are supposed to be about 3.5 miles. One guy ended up in an entirely different district of the city from where the race route was and still finished first.) I ended up walking a lot of the race, but I finished it, and did do a fair bit of running.
I had top surgery a few years ago but Iβve only gotten comfortable running shirtless this year as body fat redistribution happened. I had been trying to decide if I wanted to run shirtless or not before the protestors showed up and started yelling, then I was like ah. I will run past the transphobes shirtless like a human middle finger. And that is what I did. was wearing delightfully garish rainbow shorts I found at a thrift store and my pink triangle necklace.
Some Americorps volunteers were directing runners at one of the more confusing junctions, I high fived one and panted that I had just joined Conservation Corps. The sound of angry bullhorn shouting faded almost immediately behind us, and there were rainbow flags hanging in several of the yards we ran past throughout the route.
As in previous years, a lot of tough incredibly fit beautiful older people, mostly women, breezed past me during the race. One jogged up even with me with an encouraging βwhat would you do for a klondike bar!β I wasnβt sure how to reply to this and didnβt have the breath to express that I did not want anything thick or creamy at that moment, but what did come out was βyou did remind me that thereβs beer at the finish line.β Another lady who walked and jogged near me for awhile near the middle-latter half of the race talked a bit and complained that one of the volunteers organizing the race hadnβt set up the βwaterβ table with fireball shots that she did for some other races and we just got a regular water and gatorade station!
Coming back to the finish line I was handed a flag and ran past long rows of cheering people. Around the corner the protestors were still lurking, but were mostly silent now. Apparently they had gotten worn out by just standing there and not running. As I passed the bullhorn guy shook himself out of his torpor enough to give a halfhearted βis it a man? is it a woman? who knows anymore?β I passed him and the sound of cheering, and then the 80s music (I remember Blondie and ABBA) they were blasting closer to the finish line.
Once most of the runners were back there was a fun run for the kids. A couple of the older ones had also run the 5k (I just know the protestors were awful to the poor guys ughh) but all of them made a lap around the parking lot and got handed medals. All of the adult volunteers and participants spread out around the middle of the parking lot so that there was someone cheering and waving flags for the kids along every step of the route.
There were free snacks, water and beer courtesy of our sponsor [brand redacted]. There was also non-alcoholic βbeerβ, which I thought was nice to see, Iβd been thinking there was a heavily alcoholic element to a lot of local queer events. I drank a lot of water and ate some food before getting a free beer, which still hit me pretty hard after the run. While I was hovering around the refreshment table a big handsome butch came up next to me and I noticed a faded tattoo on her arm of a chain, each link a different color of the rainbow.
I went to put something down in my car just as the protestors were starting to leave, and realized that they were moving on a course that overlapped with mine as I walked to my car. I decided I wasnβt going to stop or veer out of their way and just see what they did. As I got closer they seemed to be talking about how we had definitely totally noticed that they were leaving (no one had.) They noticed me coming towards them and suddenly got quiet, avoided eye contact and skittered out of my way. Ha.
I stumbled into the nearby fundraiser to cool down and sober up in the air conditioning before I left. They were playing girl in red, rupaul, that girls/girls/boys song by Panic! at the disco, and that Taylor Swift song βYou need to calm downβ that some people on this site complained was cringe. The lady next to me sang along to βshade never made anybody less gay.β I bought a baseball hat.
Itβs easy, I think especially if youβre very online and not very active in your local community, to start feeling like thereβs no queer community in your area and weβre outnumbered by people who hate us. Unless you live in the middle of Westoboro Baptist territory thatβs generally not true. I cannot stress enough how incredibly conservative and red my area is. Weβve got like 3 very loud people with nothing better to do who bother us at every event, and large amounts of people across all demographics who show up in support. Iβve been thinking aboutΒ this post by @headspace-hotel about not being able to find stuff online and this is a slightly different thing but yeah. If you donβt know what there is in your area, you donβt know what youβre looking for or where to find it when searching online. If you search βis there queer stuff happening near meβ google is going to shrug and recommend you Products And Services that it can Sell You. When I moved back home after spending some time in a much more blue state (but which had much less of a sense of communityβI think itβs the way we band together down here when we know just what the stakes are) I felt like I was going to be the only trans person in the state, then someone mentioned to me that there was a local private facebook group for trans people to share personal posts and resources with many hundreds of members. There are more of us that arenβt on facebook. The Facebook group, though, introduced me to many more resources I hadnβt known were in my area.
Get outside. Find some sort of local queer event and ask around. There will be other queer people. There is very likely something youβre interested in already happening or people who would love to work with you to start it if not. Even if youβre in a very red very rural state, youβre not alone, and chill or neutrally polite people vastly outnumber the few assholes, itβs just that the assholes are very loud and especially if youβve been marinating in overwhelmingly toxic online environments it can feel like theyβre everywhere. Theyβre not. Donβt give them that power.
The current legal landscape is terrifying and needs a lot of work but it doesnβt reflect lived experiences. Get outside, find your local community, show up to in-person events if at all possible, itβs so encouraging.
