rili smol

Stop studying the night before. I have noticed that if i keep forcing myself to learn until last minute (which it’s not gonna happen, you know what you have been processing for a while not just right before they hand the paper sheets) i start doubting myself more

Go with an “i don’t care anymore” attitude. This one is my fave. With this i mean letting go of every single worry you may have of failing. If you don’t care about failing there’s no tension or stress during the exam, therefore you will be able to think more clearly than under pressure.

Figure out your minimum hours of sleep. I learned that i need at least 5 hours to function properly. Find yours and use it in your favor.

Relationships with classmates. You probably will only see your friends in some classes or just one, dont let this unmotivate you and not attend to lectures!! Everyone is asleep and no one will think you’re awkward for sitting alone. Don’t force friendships or try acting like someone you’re not, people can see it and repells them.

Relationships with teachers. Can’t stress this enough, if you’re gonna put effort in creating a bond with someone in college, it has to be your teachers. Try getting there early and pick a seat in the front, make questions via email or in person, if you’re shy like me wait until the end of the lecture and talk to the teacher instead of asking out loud.

Learn from failure. Don’t waste precious time giving yourself a hard time, it won’t make you any smarter. Pay attention to details and correct them for the next time, that’s how champs do it AND YOU’RE ONE OF THEM!

Relaxing. I know how guilty you feel when it’s been days and you haven’t looked at your notes, but hey we all go through that. It’s important to disconnect a little sometimes and come back with a %100 battery instead of a %35, am i right? Just don’t let the relaxation become 2 weeks or a whole month.

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Alternatively titled: How to Use Your Planner or How Organization and Discipline Will Get You Better Grades

This is my full guide on how to use your planner effectively and make sure that you are never missing deadlines or falling behind in classwork and homework. This is definitely more about the university level and works best with a dated planner, rather than a bullet journal. Let’s get started! 

Get all of your syllabi together and write down dates. Go through one class at a time and mark down all of your major tests and assignment due dates. I recommend putting these dates into the monthly and weekly views, and perhaps coming up with a symbol or other indicator that tells you they are of utmost importance. 

Make a weekly schedule of when to complete readings and do a weekly review of notes. Instead of trying to randomly decide when to do these things, assign a date for each task for each class. If you have a tutorial on Tuesday, do the assigned readings for it every Wednesday. I recommend scheduling one to two weekly tasks per day, and to leave a few days open, whether it be weekends or days when you have a lot of classes.

Make a master list of assignments. I find that sometimes, even having due dates in the calendar view isn’t enough, and they can still sneak up on you. The master list will be a good place to double check if you have any deadlines approaching easily. 

In the week or so before a due date, create a checklist of smaller tasks needed to complete the assignment. Set individual due dates for each smaller task by working backwards from the due date. Smaller tasks may include finding sources, making an outline, writing a rough draft, and editing and adding references to create a final copy. Write the smaller tasks into your daily to-do list. 

You can also do this with studying for tests, but the checklist would look slightly different. You could either sort by study method (first do flashcards, then do essay outlines, etc.) or sort by the topics you need to study. 

Stick to the schedule you have made. Obviously, if something comes up and you need to move your to-do list around, do so! But if you aren’t doing anything and you see readings on your list of daily tasks.. do them. Having the plan set out like this makes it easier for you to remain disciplined. 

Why use this method? 

By creating a schedule for repeated weekly tasks like completing readings, you make sure that you can’t repeatedly push off smaller tasks until you are weeks behind. I don’t think it is very reliable to just will yourself to do readings, or to keep up with them without tracking it. 

By writing down all of your due dates, you will never be shocked to find out something is due the night before. You will know and you will be prepared. 

By creating smaller checklists of tasks to complete before a major test or assignment, you will never find yourself in a situation where you have an essay due in a few days and haven’t even started. You will be following a timeline and making sure you don’t have to rush.

1. All-or-nothing thinking: Looking at things in black-or-white categories, with no middle ground (“If I fall short of perfection, I’m a total failure.”)

2. Overgeneralization: Generalizing from a single negative experience, expecting it to hold true forever (“I didn’t get hired for the job. I’ll never get any job.”)

3. The mental filter: Focusing on the negatives while filtering out all the positives. Noticing the one thing that went wrong, rather than all the things that went right.

4. Diminishing the positive: Coming up with reasons why positive events don’t count (“I did well on the presentation, but that was just dumb luck.”)

5. Jumping to conclusions: Making negative interpretations without actual evidence. You act like a mind reader (“I can tell she secretly hates me.”) or a fortune teller (“I just know something terrible is going to happen.”)

6. Catastrophizing: Expecting the worst-case scenario to happen (“The pilot said we’re in for some turbulence. The plane’s going to crash!”)

7. Emotional reasoning: Believing that the way you feel reflects reality (“I feel frightened right now. That must mean I’m in real physical danger.”)

8. ‘Shoulds’ and ‘should-nots’: Holding yourself to a strict list of what you should and shouldn’t do and beating yourself up if you break any of the rule

9. Labeling: Labeling yourself based on mistakes and perceived shortcomings (“I’m a failure; an idiot; a loser.”)

10. Personalization: Assuming responsibility for things that are outside your control (“It’s my fault my son got in an accident. I should have warned him to drive carefully in the rain.”)

if it takes less than two minutes, do it now

always carry a water bottle!! you’ll (obviously) drink more water but you’ll also save money on buying drinks when you’re out on hot days 

if you notice something you like about someone, tell them. genuine compliments are way too few and far between. 

when you meet someone, repeat their name back to them. it’ll help you remember it (bc i am the worst at zoning out and immediately forgetting someone’s name)

give yourself a time limit to get work done. you’ll do more up against a 30 minute timer than if you have all day to get something done

also: be specific with your goals. if you want it done by winter, say you’ll do it one november 15. it’s easy to let time slip by. 

no one’s forcing your friends to hang out with you. they want to be around you. don’t try to convince yourself otherwise. 

never under estimate the power of a hot meal if you’re feeling unmotivated. take a break and make a grilled cheese dude

always keep $20 in your car for emergences

have a binder/folder to keep all your financial/important documents together. even if you don’t organize them beyond that it’ll make them so much easier to find when you need them

don’t sleep w makeup on!! keep a travel size thing of makeup wipes by your bed for nights that you’re too exhausted to wash your face for real

if you’re studying/working and can’t focus, go outside and take a walk around the building. stare at the sky for a minute. it helps.

networking: when you meet someone, put some notes in with their contact. remembering their kids’ names will make you stand out

fold your clothes while they’re still warm + you won’t have to iron later

get that chair out of your room. we all know your dirty clothes are sitting in it more than you are.

instead, stick some hooks on your closet door for those sorta-clean, sorta-dirty clothes that you wanna wear again

keep a running list on your phone of songs you hear that you like, books you want to read, etc

write down all your friends birthdays!! 

if you can’t sleep, try to imagine something in great detail. design your dream house. plan your wedding. whatever makes you happy + relaxed

get dressed as soon as you get up, even if you aren’t going anywhere. it’s hard to feel productive in sweat pants.

if you don’t ask, the answer is always no

thrift stores are super trendy lately, but they really are great for finding high-quality clothing for cheap.

don’t read the comments section. especially if it’s something you actually care about.

fresh veggies go bad fast, so if you can’t get to the store often have a couple frozen bags of your favs on hand!!

also, pasta is crazy cheap and easy to make into a meal. add some olive oil and those frozen veggies and bam, grown up meal in no time.

be intentional with your friendships. if you want to see someone again, set a date instead of the old “let’s get coffee sometime!” that never actually happens

libraries exist!! and theyre fantastic!!! 

if you’re buying anything, always google “_______ coupons” while you’re in line. you can usually find one, esp at chains!!

if it’s not something you need, put it back and sleep on it. if you want it bad enough to go back and get it a day or two later, it’s (probably) worth the money.

also, think if you’ll enjoy it for the same amount of time if took to earn that money. doesn’t work with everything (food, experiences), but for things like clothes/technology/home goods, it can help you save some $$$

you don’t have to do something if it makes you unhappy. sure, there are times that you have to suck it up and power through, but 99% of the time you have to option to say no and get outta there. 

1. An 18-year-old must be able to talk to strangers — faculty, deans, advisers, landlords, store clerks, human resource managers, coworkers, bank tellers, health care providers, bus drivers, mechanics—in the real world.

The crutch: We teach kids not to talk to strangers instead of teaching the more nuanced skill of how to discern the few bad strangers from the mostly good ones. Thus, kids end up not knowing how to approach strangers — respectfully and with eye contact — for the help, guidance, and direction they will need out in the world.

2. An 18-year-old must be able to find his way around a campus, the town in which her summer internship is located, or the city where he is working or studying abroad.

The crutch: We drive or accompany our children everywhere, even when a bus, their bicycle, or their own feet could get them there; thus, kids don’t know the route for getting from here to there, how to cope with transportation options and snafus, when and how to fill the car with gas, or how to make and execute transportation plans.

3. An eighteen-year-old must be able to manage his assignments, workload, and deadlines.

The crutch: We remind kids when their homework is due and when to do it— sometimes helping them do it, sometimes doing it for them; thus, kids don’t know how to prioritize tasks, manage workload, or meet deadlines, without regular reminders.

4. An 18-year-old must be able to contribute to the running of a house hold.

The crutch: We don’t ask them to help much around the house because the checklisted childhood leaves little time in the day for anything aside from academic and extracurricular work; thus, kids don’t know how to look after their own needs, respect the needs of others, or do their fair share for the good of the whole.

5. An 18-year-old must be able to handle interpersonal problems.

The crutch: We step in to solve misunderstandings and soothe hurt feelings for them; thus, kids don’t know how to cope with and resolve conflicts without our intervention.

6. An 18-year-old must be able to cope with ups and downs of courses and workloads, college- level work, competition, tough teachers, bosses, and others.

The crutch: We step in when things get hard, finish the task, extend the deadline, and talk to the adults; thus, kids don’t know that in the normal course of life things won’t always go their way, and that they’ll be okay regardless.

7. An 18-year-old must be able to earn and manage money.

The crutch: They don’t hold part-time jobs; they receive money from us for what ever they want or need; thus, kids don’t develop a sense of responsibility for completing job tasks, accountability to a boss who doesn’t inherently love them, or an appreciation for the cost of things and how to manage money.

8. An 18-year-old must be able to take risks.

The crutch: We’ve laid out their entire path for them and have avoided all pitfalls or prevented all stumbles for them; thus, kids don’t develop the wise understanding that success comes only after trying and failing and trying again (a.k.a. “grit”) or the thick skin (a.k.a. “resilience”) that comes from coping when things have gone wrong.