No matter where I go, there I am

made some terrible sourdough last night. awful stuff. didnt work at all. wasted the last of the bread flour on another failed experiment. bummer!! looks like i didnt proof it enough and the house was too cold. but i didnt know that at the time

heres the note i left for my husband trying to explain the results

his response

Nobby Nobbs is a Hobbit.

Evidence: All those jokes about not thinking he's human, he has a signed note from the Patrician saying he is, etc.

He disappears easily and turns up in unexpected places.

Known for making small items of value disappear.

Is shorter than average, I believe he's compared to one of the dwarves at one point.

Enjoys folk dancing.

Anyway, hobbits are the only "fantasy" race that don't appear on the Discworld at all (though a Gollum-like creature does interact with the witches at one point). I'm sure it's because the word is still firmly under copywrite.

And let me tell you, that cake is NOT a lie:

The first was William Gibson's Hinterlands. A cosmonaut finds a wormhole between Earth and Mars; sometimes people fall in and return months or years later, with alien artifacts. Think the Strugatsky brother's Roadside Picnic, but instead of Earth being an alien rest stop, humans are flies that sometimes get trapped in cars for a while. The big problem is that most of the astronauts that go return in a catatonic state, if they're really lucky.

Sorry that I can't find an online copy of that one. But if you do find it and enjoy it, there's a TV series coming out soon based on one of Gibson's first novels to look forward to!

I don't know that you wouldn't decay in space. Human bodies have some amount of bacteria on and in them, maybe even a couple pounds.

I don't know if any of them would be the rotting a dead body before it dries out and becomes a mummy type though.

You take a body and dip it into acetone. This sucks out and replaces any water in it. Then you take the acetone-soaked body, dip it into some flavor of plastic or polymer or epoxy and pull a vacuum on it. The acetone evaporates, the plastic gets sucked into where it was, and voila!

You got yourself a full sized Ken doll.

The book was Mary Roach's Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers. It's an interesting book, but be prepared to read it in sections. You'll get parts that are less fun than plastic people, something like dead pets, and tell yourself "Okay, that's enough reading for today."

Most of her other books don't have those hard sections and are fun the whole way through. She'll take a subject and do a bunch of interviews and history of it.

Bonk: It's about sex. I'm pretty sure the Kinsey Report was included, and a section where Mary got her husband to agree to have sex with her while they were in some kind of cat scan or something similar.

Packing for Mars: space travel. Interesting bits included a test for prospective Japanese astronauts where over the course of a week they have to fold 1000 origami cranes and attach them to a string in order of completion, in between finishing all their other jobs. Do they start to get sloppy as the deadline approaches?

Another part was about how equipment gets tested before being sent into space. Everything gets loaded onto the Vomit Comet and subjected to thirty seconds intervals of weighlessness to see if it'll work without gravity. Including a new toilet. Which meant some intern has to be ready and primed when that thirty seconds started and finish before it ended. No Candy Crush for him.

Gulp: food and eating. I remember one story about someone (I want to say a Canadian fur trapper), who got shot in the side and the wound never healed right. There was a fistula left open to his stomach. So some doctor wanting to do research into how food was digested would tie a bit of something to a string, drop it in, and pull it out later.

Grunt: soldiers and combat. There's one section about soldiers who get wounded in the groin, and how it becomes a tough to talk about issue now only with them but with their partners. Prosthetic scrotums are mentioned.

I should probably go watch the movie. But I think I'll read the TVTropes page during lunch at work first.

The old sheep mother dies by ... the duck at Christmas dinner ... the mean old cat tells Babe what just to be an asshole?

I think I'll pass. Just reading the TVTropes page will that'll do for me.

I’m sorry but that’s thinking way too small, hear me out:

We need to have Miss Piggy as Odysseus, and Kermit as Penelope.

Think about it… who’s the more fickle, prideful, warlike one in that relationship? Who is absolutely ready to go ham, at a moment’s notice?

The first was William Gibson's Hinterlands. A cosmonaut finds a wormhole between Earth and Mars; sometimes people fall in and return months or years later, with alien artifacts. Think the Strugatsky brother's Roadside Picnic, but instead of Earth being an alien rest stop, humans are flies that sometimes get trapped in cars for a while. The big problem is that most of the astronauts that go return in a catatonic state, if they're really lucky.

Sorry that I can't find an online copy of that one. But if you do find it and enjoy it, there's a TV series coming out soon based on one of Gibson's first novels to look forward to!

“It was great,” he said, “at one point I had three dicks in my mouth at once.”

We were suitably impressed, nodding in congratulations for his absolutely bountiful harvest of dicks.

“But then the next day I got tonsillitis.”