making it through

I have so much love in me that I would like to cry.  

Simone de Beauvoir, Kayleb Rae Candrilli, Sylvia Plath, Clarice Lispector

(in case you wanted to know because i fucking love this language) 

ad astra per aspera - to the stars through difficulties 

alis volat propriis - he flies by his own wings 

amantium irae amoris integratio est - the quarrels of lovers are the renewal of love 

ars longa, vita brevis - art is long, life is short 

aut insanity homo, aut versus facit - the fellow is either mad or he is composing verses 

dum spiro spero - while I breathe, I hope 

ense petit placidam sub libertate quietem - with the sword, she seeks peace under liberty 

exigo a me non ut optimus par sim sed ut malis melior - I require myself not to be equal to the best, but to be better than the bad

experiential docet - experience teaches 

helluo librorum - a glutton for books (bookworm) 

in libras libertas - in books, freedom 

littera scripta manet - the written letter lasts 

mens regnum bona possidet - an honest heart is a kingdom in itself 

mirabile dictu - wonderful to say 

nullus est liber tam malus ut non aliqua parte prosit - there is no book so bad that it is not profitable in some part 

omnia iam fient quae posse negabam - everything which I used to say could not happen, will happen now 

poeta nascitur, non fit - the poet is born, not made 

qui dedit benificium taceat; narrat qui accepit - let him who has done a good deed be silent; let him who has received it tell it 

saepe ne utile quidem est scire quid futurum sit - often, it is not advantageous to know what will be 

sedit qui timuit ne non succederet - he who feared he would not succeed sat still 

si vis pacem, para bellum - if you want peace, prepare for war 

struit insidias lacrimis cum feminia plorat - when a woman weeps, she is setting traps with her tears 

sub rosa - under the rose 

trahimir omnes laudis studio - we are led on by our eagerness for praise

urbem latericium invenit, marmoream reliquit - he found the city a city of bricks; he left it a city of marble 

02:00: Never seems to sleep. A bit self-destructive. Dark circles under their eyes. Longing looks. Dreaming of a better place. Always tired. Dark sense of humour.

04:00: Works too hard. Litres and litres of coffee. Lives off of instant meals. Talks too fast. Always in a hurry. Has big dreams. A bit clumsy at times.

06:00: Early bird. Bright smiles. Always singing under their breath. Sunrises. Making breakfast in bed for a loved one. Easily irritable. Wants to be friends with everyone.

08:00: Hard working. Knows how to balance out their life. Plans their day down to the last minute. Always in control. Not afraid to put people in their place.

10:00: Lazy mornings in bed. Wants to travel the world. Always manages to get the job done at the last minute. Handpicked flowers. Falls in love easily. Soft voice.

12:00: Sunny days. Bright smiles. Cares a lot about everyone. Wants to change people’s lives. Always trying something new. Tries their best to cheer up a sad friend.

14:00: Able to take a nap anywhere. Forgetful. Talks a lot or not at all. Hesitant touches. Doesn’t easily connect with people. Could probably change the world if they actually tried.

16:00: Snaps easily. Will fight you. Not afraid to stand up for themselves. Believes the world can be a better place. Wants to be the change the world needs.

18:00: Long work days. Always giving their best. Home cooked meals. Sunset picnics.  Always manages to make time for the ones they love.

20:00: Only puts effort into things they enjoy. A bit of a pushover. Always trying to be better than they are. Thinks too little of themselves. Always there for everyone.

22:00: Always up for a party. Loud laughs. Doesn’t stay around for very long. Not quite sure what they’re doing with their life. Very passionate about everything they do.

“i’ll tell you how i’ve learned to deal with this sort of thing. i didn’t develop a sense of joy in my academic study until i realized that what really matters is the work itself. it’s not about trying to impress anybody or trying to earn a specific grade. it’s all about loving the work, the reading, the writing, the critical conversation. and i think you do love those things, and you do enjoy your academic work when you can get out of your own way about it. now, where i’m at in my career, i have to think about what gets me up in the morning, and that’s not publishing 20 articles a year or seeking external approval. what it is, is writing, reading, and teaching about what I love, my own little academic world that i’ve created.” – prof c

 “i wrote shitty papers in college, and i still got a phd. you’re not supposed to know everything yet! you’re still learning! you know what, write that on a post-it and stick it on your laptop. you don’t have to know it all yet. you don’t have to be perfect.” – prof s

“while i can assure you that you should not feel like an imposter, i can also confess that the syndrome is common at all levels of academia – so you should not think yourself abnormal to be experiencing it.” (x)

“i hate to say/write this, but it’s sort of true: that you having these impostor-syndrome reactions, these worries about disappointing those you respect … to me, that sort of signals that you do have traits common to many successful academics! even people who have masses of success behind them – and, come to think of it, particularly the people who have a lot of cred *and* outside affirmation of it – suffer from impostor syndrome *if* (and the if is important) they genuinely care about the quality of their work. so: if it’s possible to think of these feelings as symptomatic of a characteristic many good academics share, then please do.                                                                                          (…) the important thing is this: how counterproductive it can be for self-sabotaging people to think of themselves as being ‘born’ to do something. it makes any possibility of missing the mark immediately existential. academic work is something one chooses because one has a strong interest in a certain field of study, an ability to study and produce credible work (as judged by ‘authorities’ in said field), and a social possibility to choose to proceed in that direction. sometimes, i, at least, find it helpful to remind myself of the simple facts of this.                       (…) i do think it’s important to put the activating gesture of entering grad school very firmly in your own hands. you are choosing this. you are choosing it because you want it, others have said that you are capable, and you have the practical possibility of choosing it. this is enough. the work will be enough without the existential heft, and the existential heft will not make the work better.” – s

Hey, I’m Celestia and I’m starting this new studyblr. I’ve been lurking around the studyblr community for a while, and figured it was time to join in! I’m doing this because I want to be a part of the community and because I want to be motivated through the semester. I also want to build good study habits before I start University.

About me

My name is Celestia

I’m 16 (turning 17 in a month)

I’m finishing High School this fall

I’m taking some classes over again to improve my grades.

Interests

Learning Languages (Fluent in English and Norwegian, currently learning Spanish and Russian)

Playing the Piano (and just music in general)

Reading

Ballet

Artistic and rhythmic gymnastics

Art!!

Bullet Journaling (I will probably post some content relating to this as well)

Kickboxing

Cooking, I especially like baking and making desserts✨

Classes I’m taking this semester (fall 2019):

Spanish 2

Advanced STEM math 2

Chemistry 1

Advanced STEM math (again)

Norwegian (again)

Physics 1 (again)

Social Studies (again)

P.E (again)

Geoscience 2 (again)

Goals

improve my grades enough to be able to get into law school

To become fluent in Spanish

I also want to continue learning Russian and start learning Korean.

To read at least 1 book a week

I want to workout more, at least 3 times a week

Get and actually KEEP a job

Future Plans

I plan on starting University either in January 2020 or August 2020 (i can start in January, but all the classes I want to take start in August…)

Get into law school? (I’m still not sure what I want to study, but I’m leaning towards law, soooo…)

I really want to travel around Europe