i could smell your boytoy coming from down the road. Wretched little rotted morsel of a thing, may he fall to time and become carrion

hot and sexy ladies only really want me so they can hit me really hard with baseball bats and get to the candy hidden inside me and nothing else

Are you fucking kidding me

i have never been happier 

ㅤ

Tumblr should never have given us polls. Everyday I have to see years-old polls cross my dash proudly proclaiming past-me's vote which I now disagree with. Let me change my vote!! I have rethought which Tetris piece is the sexiest.

you know when you’re talking w/ someone and you just feel.. Warm. like.. not.. warmth temperature-wise but just this.. sense of overall coziness like on an emotional level speaking w/ them is the equivalent of whenever you step into a patch of sunlight… that’s something

sourdough STOPPER. fuck ur bread.

i love to be the most laidback customer to ever grace an establishment. comrade i will wait one william years for your goods and services

NO MORE SONGS UNDER 3 MINUTES. GO BACK INTO THE STUDIO

In a shit mood. Release the locusts

Okay goodnight various internet transgender women in my phone. Don't forget to bust on each others boobs and thighs lesbianstyle for pride month.

seeing someone rb to the wrong blog has an upskirt-like feel