Straight Outta Bog

never underestimate how much a "☝️" can add to a sentence

happy birthday women

depressed people aren’t crying in their beds to phoebe bridgers depressed people are doing 90 in a 35 listening to the winner takes it all by abba and sliding on black ice on the way to the bar at 9pm on a monday night

try the cold bathroom water darling its simply delightful

I need to go rub one out. *goes to my secret chamber where the walls are covered in tally marks and I erase one mark* *it is unclear what happens when they run out*

"You could get up early and do it before work" I could also wait for a magic beanstalk to start growing in my living room LMAO. Let's focus on things that happen in the real world

weed before cider youre meeting the spider. cider before weed time for centipede

i dream of having a regulated nervous system

snacks will make me powerful. sweets will make me wise